Resolve to be thyself: and know, that he who finds himself, loses his misery.
I am planning to make next year worthwhile, I hope you are as well. I know it is going to require some lifestyle changes on my part but I don’t want to jettison so much of my activities that I throw away the chances to do something worthwhile nor do I want to take the fun out of my days.
As if reading my mind I was sent an article by Australian Counselling Psychologist Clare Mann yesterday that I like and I thought it might help you too. Here in part is what she wrote.
New Year’s Resolutions – First Steps to a Better Life?
New Year Resolutions are often made in response to a self-censoring of one’s behavior or punishment for not doing what they believe will bring happiness. Giving up smoking, losing weight or getting fit are often at the top of the list when it comes to the top ten resolutions. Self-disgust, low self esteem or admonishment by others is often the reason for making resolutions. When we look at New Year resolutions, they are focused on changing aspects of one’s unacceptable behaviour – rarely are they couched in terms that reflect a larger vision for our lives or the values that might underpin a personal mission for what we want lives are about. Thus, conscious and unconscious resistance to the punishments that resolutions demand, sabotage us from keeping them. The outcome is that we continue our lives as before with humour, cynicism or increased self-loathing for our inability to change. We risk, as Henry Thoreaux said ‘Living a Life of Quiet Desperation’.
What alternatives are there for changing aspects of our lives in more productive and nurturing ways? The following questions help you look at your life more strategically so changes you desire can be assessed in terms of their alignment with your vision and desires.
- What do you really want to do with your life? What do you want your life to stand for and how would you like to be remembered?
- What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? Don’t answer this question within the constraints of what you believe is currently possible. Think big and worthy dreams.
- What are your values and what is so important to you that you would stake ‘even life itself’ to act in ways to celebrate these values?
- What thoughts, feelings and actions do you believe align with achieving your vision, values and dreams of how you want your life to be?
- What stops you from achieving the life you so desire? What reasons do you give yourself for not having what you want? Do you blame others for your failures or are you taking full responsibility for your own life?
- What reasons do you give yourself for not having what you want? Do you blame others for your failures or are you taking full responsibility for your entire life?
- What do you need to do to support achievement of your desired life? If those supports are not in place, what stories do you tell yourself for why this is so?
By asking these and similar questions, you can create a pen picture of the life you want. Take that picture and set goals, targets and the means for measuring and assessing your success.
New Year Resolutions are temporary ways to assuage the anxiety of not living the life you truly want. They provide a temporary salve hoodwinking you into believing that positive change is on the horizon.
This year, replace your New Year resolutions with value aligned ways to create a life that is worth living so temporary setbacks no longer determine your success or failure.
One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: ‘To rise above little things.’
“Sometimes it’s important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it’s essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.”
In the Admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others were being interviewed and still others were being escorted to their rooms.
An elderly woman, obviously not sure of where she should be, hesitatingly entered my cubicle. She had completed the admitting forms and, upon my request, handed me her insurance cards. I typed the necessary information and then asked her the reason for her coming to the hospital.
“I’m here to just visit a friend,” she said, “but all this has taken so long, I’m not sure I have the time now!”
I’d like to go to an assertiveness training class. First I need to check with my wife.
GRANDKIDS DO MAKE SENSE, AT LEAST TO GOD.
Dear God, Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing in there now. Amanda
Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. Joyce
Dear Mr. God, I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot. Janet
God, I read the bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me. Love, Alison
Dear God, Is it true my father won’t get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house? Anita
Dear God, I bet it’s very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. Nancy
If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind.
Mike: Do you remember first meeting your wife?
John: Sure, I found Jill lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and promised her that if she agreed to marry me, she would begin a new life and I’d never allow her near the gutter again.
Mike: Wow, I hope she appreciates what you did for her.
John: Not really. Jill hated to give up bowling.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
The following sign hangs in a local garage: AUTO REPAIR PRICE LIST:
My six-year-old grandson called his mother from his friend Charlie’s house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room.
“But, Mom,” he said, brightening, “you don’t have to worry about buying another one. Charlie’s mom said it was irreplaceable.”
Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometime in life you will have been all of these.
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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