Ray's musings and humor

We will leave you now

This is the message of Christmas: “We are never alone.”

Taylor Caldwell

2015 Christmas Donovan

My Great Grandson

Tomorrow my grandson will begin his first Christmas Holidays and I will begin my eightieth. We will enjoy the company of friends and family over the next few days as we come together in various locations to celebrate the spirit of Christmas with others of all faiths as we share the time with those who are special to us.

My computer and I will take the next few days off and will send you our next Daily offering next Monday. My being away will give me more time to appreciate the good fortune I have received from just being part of a caring family. I hope that you enjoy yourself as much as I know I will.

Since Christmas is special not just for children but also for people my age I thought I would share the following poem with everyone. I don’t know who wrote it but I know some of the people he talks about

‘Twas the night before (senior) Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas at Rock-Away Rest, And all of us seniors were looking our best.

Our glasses, how sparkly, our wrinkles, how merry; Our punch bowl held prune juice plus three drops of sherry.

A bed sock was taped to each walker in hope, That Santa would bring us soft candy and soap.

We surely were lucky to be there with friends, Secure in this residence and in our Depends.

Our grandkids had sent us some Christmasy crafts, Like angels in snowsuits and penguins on rafts.

The dental assistant had borrowed our teeth, And from them she’d crafted a holiday wreath.

The bed pans, so shiny, all stood in a row, Reflecting our candle’s magnificent glow.

Our supper, so festive (the joy wouldn’t stop), Was creamy warm oatmeal with sprinkles on top.

Our salad was Jell-O, so jiggly and great; Then puree of fruitcake was spooned on each plate.

The social director then had us play games, Like “Where Are You Living?” and “What Are Your Names?”

Old Grandfather Looper was feeling his oats, Proclaiming that reindeer were nothing but goats.

Our resident wanderer was tied to her chair, In hopes that at bedtime she still would be there.

Security lights on the new fallen snow Made outdoors seem noon to the old folks below.

Then out on the porch there arose quite a clatter (But we are so deaf that it just didn’t matter).

A strange little fellow flew in through the door, Then tripped on the sill and fell flat on the floor.

‘Twas just our director, all togged out in red. He jiggled and chuckled and patted each head.

We knew from the way that he strutted and jived Our Social Security checks had arrived.

We sang — how we sang — in our monotone croak, Till the clock tinkled out its soft eight-p.m. stroke.

And soon we were snuggling deep in our beds. While nurses distributed nocturnal meds.

And so ends our Christmas at Rock-Away Rest. ‘fore long you’ll be with us. We wish you the best.

~~~

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.”

Peg Bracken.

~~~

Signs of Christmas Everywhere

Toy Store: “Ho, ho, ho spoken here.”

Bridal boutique: “Marry Christmas.”

Outside a church: “The original Christmas Club.”

At a department store: “Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd.”

A Texas jewelry store: “Diamond tiaras — $70,000. Three for $200,000.

A reducing salon: “24 Shaping Days until Christmas.”

In a stationery store: “For the man who has everything… a calendar to remind him when payments are due.”

~~~

As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?”

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: “Didn’t you get my E-mail?”

~~~

All I Needed to Know About Life I learned from Santa

Encourage people to believe in you.

Always remember who’s naughty and who’s nice.

Don’t pout.

It’s as much fun to give as it is to receive.

Some days it’s ok to feel a little chubby.

Make your presents known.

Always ask for a little bit more than what you really want.

Bright red can make anyone look good.

Wear a wide belt and no-one will notice how many pounds you’ve gained.

If you only show up once a year, everyone will think you’re very important.

Whenever you’re at a loss for words, say: “HO, HO, HO!”

~~~

It’s the holiday season. Let the overeating begin!

Melanie White

~~~

The Santa Claus at the mall was more than a trifle surprised when a beautiful young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap but Santa quickly recovered, and started talking to the college-type

“And what do you want for Christmas?” asked Santa.

“Something for my mother, ” said the young lady.

“Bring for your mother? Well, that’s what I call thoughtful,” smiled Santa. “What can I get her?”

After thinking for a moment, the girl brightened, turned to Santa and said: “I’d like for her to get a son-in-law”

~~~

During this Christmas season, may you enjoy the message of hope, love, and peace on Earth.

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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