Ray's musings and humor

I am going to simplify

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

Marcus Aurelius

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As you know I have decided I am going to uncomplicate my life in 2016. I need to decide what I no longer can do and what I no longer want to do. But that is not as bad as it sounds for by offloading some activities it will free me up to be able to commit to things I want to do and can still do.

I recently read an article posted by Henrik Edberg on the Positivity Blog that included a warning to not over complicate our lives. It is good advice for where I am right now and it might be of value for you as well. Here is what he wrote:

Overcomplicating life.

Life can be pretty complicated. This can creates stress and unhappiness. But much of this is often created by us. Yes, the world may be becoming more complex but that doesn’t mean that we cannot create new habits that make your own lives a bit simpler.

How to overcome this habit:

Overcomplicating life can involve many habits but I’d like to suggest a few replacement habits to what have been a couple of my own most overcomplicating habits.

  • Splitting your focus and having your attention all over the place in everyday life. I replaced that complicating habit with just doing one thing at a time during my day, having a small to-do list with 2-3 very important items and writing down my most important goal on white board that I see each day.
  • Having too much stuff. I replaced that habit with regularly asking myself: have I used this in the past year? If not then I will give that thing away or throw it away.
  • Creating relationship problems of any kind in your mind. Reading minds is hard. So, instead ask questions and communicate. This will help you to minimize unnecessary conflicts, misunderstandings, negativity and waste or time and energy.
  • Getting lost in the in-box. I spend less time and energy on my email in-box by just checking it once a day and writing shorter emails (if possible not more than 5 sentences.)
  • Getting lost in stress and overwhelm. When stressed, lost in a problem or the past or future in your mind then, as I mentioned above, breathe with your belly for two minutes and just focus on the air going in and out. This will calm your body down and bring your mind back into the present moment again. Then you can start focusing on doing what is most important for you again.

~~~

Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that’s creativity.

Charles Mingus

~~~

One of the great gifts my Jewish friends provide to me and others is their humor. Here is another example.

On Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year), there is a service called Taslisch (throwing) where sins are symbolically cast away by throwing bread into the water. Some people have asked what kind of bread they are supposed to throw into the water. Here are suggestions:

For ordinary sins, use — White Bread

For exotic sins — French or Italian bread

For dark sins — Pumpernickle

For complex sins — Multi-grain

For truly warped sins — Pretzels

For sins of indecision — Waffles

For sins committed in haste — Matzah

For substance abuse — Poppy Seed

For committing arson — Toast

For being ill-tempered — Sourdough

For silliness — Nut bread

For not giving full value — Short bread

For political chauvinism — Yankee Doodles

For excessive use of irony — Rye Bread

For continual bad jokes — Corn Bread

For hardening our hearts — Jelly doughnuts

~~~

I hope those of you who have seen me the last few years have noticed that I have the body of a God…Buddha

~~~

Since we are on the subject, here are a few from the irreverent Catholic dictionary:

Act of Contrition—A penitential prayer you warm up with so you don’t cramp up in the confessional.

Act of God— 1. The kind of disaster insurance doesn’t cover 2. The only way to get some Catholics to church on Sunday.

Acts of the Apostles—Christ’s touring company—they knocked ’em dead in Samaria, Thessalonica, Damascus,etc.

Advent —A season filled with the sounds of pipers piping, drummers drumming and cash registers ringing.

Advent Wreath— A brightly colored, seasonally decorated fire hazard.

Agnostic—1. An atheist who is hedging his bets. 2. Someone who isn’t sure there is a God, but who is sure he doesn’t want to go to Mass every Sunday.

All Saints Day (November 1st)—- A day to honor the least-known saints and give your least-liked Halloween candy to your little brother.

All Soul’s Day (November 2nd)—The day to remember all deceased Motown recording artists.

~~~

In an underdeveloped country don’t drink the water, in a developed country, don’t breathe the air.

Jonathan Raban

~~~

There was a job opening in the country’s most prestigious law firm and it finally comes down to Robert and Paul. Both graduated magna cum laude from law school.  Both come from good families.  Both are equally attractive and well spoken.  It’s up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each aside and asks, “Why did you become a lawyer?”  In seconds, he chooses Paul.

Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside.  “I don’t understand why I was rejected.  When Mr.  Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I’d lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients.  What in the world did you tell him?”

“I said I became a lawyer because of my hands,” Robert replies.

“Your hands?  What do you mean?”

“Well, I took a look one day and there wasn’t any money in either of them!”

~~~

My exercise secrets:

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

~~~

“Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”

Steven Wright

~~~

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session.  “I’m not aware of your problem,” the doctor said.  “So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning.”

“Of course,” replied the patient.  “In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth…”

~~~

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.

Mark twain

~~~

My daughter called me at work to say I was to phone “Josh” at the bank regarding my account. So, I called my bank and the operator asked me what Josh’s last name was and I explained that he hadn’t left his last name.

When she asked for his department, I said that I didn’t know.

“There are 1500 employees in this building, ma’am,” she advised me rather sharply.

After a few more brusque comments, I was becoming angry so I asked her for her name.

“Danielle,” she said.

“And your last name?” I asked.

“Sorry,” she replied, “we’re not allowed to give out last names.”

~~~

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

Marcel Proust

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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