Ray's musings and humor

Another new beginning

To laugh often and much: To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

! emerson

I had another one of those days yesterday that wore me out and this morning I am off to a 6 AM meeting followed by other demands that will keep me busy to midday. I find that my stamina is still far from where I need it to be so canceling the cruise was a disappointment but probably a good thing.

Rather than send you something muddled I will again revisit history and send you a Daily from out of the past.

Ray’ Daily first published on November 12, 2004

It still amazes me how on-target old Ralph still is. I was thinking the other day that we should not be angry with people who see us as we really are, rather than as we think we are. I think Emerson’s checklist would help us become who we would like to be:

1.Laugh more

2.Earn the respect of people and the affection of children

3.Respond to honest criticism

4.Endure others failings

5.See the beauty around you

6.Look for the best in everyone

7.Consciously work to make the world a little better place

Do this and then move next to me, I would love to have you as my neighbor.

~~~

When you have a taste for exceptional people, You always end up meeting them everywhere.

Mac Orlan

~~~

Wendy sent us this:

Hymns For Us in The Over “50” Crowd

  1. ” Just A ‘Slower’ Walk With Thee”
  2. “It Is Well With My Soul”, But My Knees Hurt
  3. “Nobody Knows The Trouble I ‘Have’ Seeing”
  4. “Precious Lord, Take My Hand”, And Help Me Up
  5. “Count Your Many ‘Birthdays’, Count Them One By One”
  6. “Go Tell It On A Mountain”, But Speak Up
  7. “Give Me The Old ‘Timers’ Religion”
  8. “Blessed ‘Insurance'”
  9. “Guide Me O Thou Great Lord God”, I’ve Forgotten Where I’ve Parked The Truck

GOD BLESS US ALL YOUNG AND OLD

~~~

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.”

Aristotle (384 BC – 322 BC)

~~~

FIVE QUESTIONS MOST FEARED BY MEN

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: “I’m sorry if I’ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.”

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a. Baseball. b. Football.

Question # 2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: “YES!” or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, “Yes, dear.”

Inappropriate responses include: a. Oh Yeah. b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes? c. That depends on what you mean by love. d. Does it matter? e. Who, me?

Question # 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: “Of course not!”

Among the incorrect answers are: a. Compared to what? b. I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin. c. A little extra weight looks good on you. d. I’ve seen fatter. e. Could you repeat the question?

Question # 4: Do you think she’s prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: “Of course not!”

Incorrect responses include: a. Yes, but you have a better personality b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age d. Define pretty e. Could you repeat the question?

~~~

You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

~~~

It was the finish line of the Boston marathon. A first time runner is hobbling away, having just finished.

A grizzled old marathoner looks at him and says “You’ll feel a lot worse tomorrow.”  He pauses and then says, “But the REALLY bad news is that in about 3 days, you’re going to think you had fun today!”

~~~

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

George Burns

~~~

A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, “Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?”

“The glaciers brought them down,” said the guide.

“But where are the glaciers?”

“The glaciers,” said the guide in a weary voice, “have gone back for more rocks.”

~~~

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”

Emo Philips

~~~~~~

As an act of charity, the wife of a local magistrate in a poor district of London invited a little girl from the area to tea. The girl sat down at the tea table, looked around, and then turned to her hostess. “I see you keep your house very clean,” she said. “Cleanliness is next to godliness, you know.”

The magistrate’s wife smiled at the girl and winked at her husband.

The little girl went on, “Is your husband working?”

“Of course he is!” said the lady. “Why do you ask such a strange question?”

The girl continued. “And are you both keeping off the drink?”

“Why, what an impertinent little girl you are!” cried the lady. “When you are invited to tea, you should try to behave like a lady, my child.”

“Oh, but I am trying,” replied the little girl. “When ladies visit our house, they always ask these questions.”

~~~

I don’t mind that my grandson is earning more than I did on my first job. What disturbs me is he’s just seven, and it’s his allowance!

~~~

When Bill’s wife ran away he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist. Bill told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, “Life isn’t worth living.”

“Don’t be stupid, Bill,” said the psychiatrist. “Let work be your salvation. I want you to totally submerge yourself in your work. Now, what do you do for a living?”

“I clean out septic tanks.” Bill replied.

~~~

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”

Hunter S. Thompson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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