“Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.”
As I age I am learning new skills, some are OK others only have value as character builders, which means leaning to deal with disappointment. Lately I have become a prolific canceler. I have canceled my attendance at a Frank Sinatra Junior’s presentation in honor of his dads 100th birthday. I also canceled my trip on the Belle of Louisville paddle wheeler and a trip to Ohio for lunch and a play. Toughest of all was yesterday when I had to cancel a week long Caribbean cruise with friends.
These were major disappointments, but attending while being somewhat disabled would have been worse. By not cruising next week I don’t have to delay some tests, a molar extraction and a few other things that will help take my mind off of my regrets.
I have cruised more than thirty times so I have enough memories that missing one more is not critical, but missing seeing my friends is a major disappointment. They live in another state and I am hoping we will find a way to meet one more time in the not too distant future.
A while ago Marc Chernoff sent me a piece he wrote for times like this. Here in part is what he offered:
Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Stress
The key is detachment – letting go of the life you expected, so you can make the best of the life that’s waiting for you. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Here are six strategies for making this happen:
Create some healthy space for yourself. – Sometimes you are just too close to the puzzle to see the big picture. You need to take a few steps back to gain clarity on the situation. The best way to do this is to simply take a short break – a breather – a vacation – and explore something else for a little while. Why? So you can return to where you started and see things with a new set of eyes. And the people there may see you differently too. Returning where you started is entirely different than never leaving.
Accept the truth and practice being grateful for what is. – To let go is to be grateful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and helped you learn and grow. It’s the acceptance of everything you have, everything you once had, and the possibilities that lie ahead. It’s all about finding the strength to embrace life’s challenges and changes, to trust your intuition, to learn as you go, to realize that every experience has value, and to continue taking positive steps forward.
Concentrate only on what can be changed. – Realize that not everything in life is meant to be modified or perfectly understood. Live, let go, learn what you can and don’t waste energy worrying about the things you can’t change. Focus exclusively on what you can change. And if you can’t change something that’s upsetting you, change the way you think about it. Review your options and then re-frame what you don’t like into a starting point for achieving something different in your life.
Make the NOW the primary focus of your life. – Now is the moment. The past is just a memory. The future is a mental projection. You can choose to dwell back in the past for learning and joyous reflection. You can choose to dwell in the future for visualization and practical planning. However, any time your awareness floats away to the past or future frequently for negative purposes, you are suffocating your ability to thrive in the only moment you ever have… the NOW. Past and future literally do not exist right now – feel the freedom in this truth.
Embrace your quirks, your mistakes, and the fact that life is a lesson. – Life is a ride. Things change, people change, but you will always be YOU; so stay true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for anyone or anything. You have to dare to be yourself, in this moment, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be. It’s about realizing that even on your weakest days you get a little bit stronger, if you’re willing to learn. Which is why, sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your trouble and hard work isn’t what you get, but what you become.
“The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.”
Three blondes had just bought a can of Pepsi One and were anxious to try it for the first time. So the first blonde opened the can and then the second blonde poured it into three glasses. The third blonde eyed the three glasses suspiciously and said, “I wonder which one has the calorie?”
“Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.”
Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Ways to Deal with Stress
When someone says “have a nice day”, tell them you have other plans.
Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
Leaf through “National Geographic” and draw underwear on the natives.
Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
Make up a language and ask people for directions in it.
Bill your doctor for time spent in his waiting room.
You never get tired if you rest a lot in advance.
Soon after marriage, Terri’s husband, Colby stopped wearing his wedding ring. Terri asked, “Why don’t you ever wear your wedding band?”
Colby replied, “It cuts off my circulation.”
Terri answered back, “It’s supposed to!”
Could it be that the people who have nothing to say are the ones we should listen to?
Laws Of Slow People
- Slow people always walk side by side, even if they don’t know each other.
- They drive side by side, too. If they can’t find another slow driver to pair up with, they drive in the fast lane.
- Slow walkers never look back. When they drive, they never look in their rearview mirrors, either.
- Slow people drift sideways, so they will block the path of anyone trying to pass them. If two people, or vehicles, are trying to get around the slow people at the same time, the slow people drift into the path of the one who is moving at the highest speed.
- Follow behind a slow person in the grocery store and you’ll wind up with soggy ice cream every time.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
I hate the idea of going under the knife. So I was very upset when the doctor told me I needed a tonsillectomy. Later, the nurse and I were filling out an admission form. I tried to respond to the questions, but I was so nervous I couldn’t speak. The nurse patted my hand and said, “Don’t worry. This medical problem can easily be fixed, and it’s not a dangerous procedure.”
“You’re right. I’m being silly,” I said, “Please continue.”
“Good,” the nurse went on, “Now, do you have a living will?”
“There’s always failure. And there’s always disappointment. And there’s always loss. But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.”
Michael J. Fox
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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