Ray's musings and humor

Archive for September, 2015

Goodbye Old Friend

Say not in grief: “He is no more”, but live in thankfulness that he was.

Hebrew Proverb

appreciate others

I just learned of the passing of an old friend and former colleague who I had not seen in many years. As is always the case at times like these my mind becomes flooded with memories of the times we shared together. As we live or lives we take the day to day moments for granted not really realizing that each experience is a brush stroke on the canvas that provides the life portrait of old friends. For me his portrait is a pleasing picture of a friend I appreciated.

His death also reminded me of the fact that each day I add more brush strokes to the image that others will see when I to leave this world. I hope some of the over painting I have done in recent years covers up my many failings early in life.

Here is an edited piece written by Marion Licchiello-Lenz many years ago that I need to reread once in a while as a reminder of what I should focus on.

How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

I remember listening to a personal development CD years ago from a motivational speaker and he said something to the effect of – “by writing out your memorial service or what you’d want someone to say at your service, you can change your life from who you are to who you want to become.”

This is such a powerful exercise because you may not be living as that person; the person you want to be remembered as. I would want my memorial to read:

Marion was such a wonderful, giving person. She did her best to be in service at all times. She was selfless and treated everyone with the respect they deserve no matter who they were. She was funny and giggled a lot.

Marion was a wonderful, daughter, sister and friend. She was a great wife and a very patient mom to her pets. She married her soul mate and they had the best days of their lives together; the kind of marriage her aunt and uncle had, a true love; an unconditional love.

Marion loved others unconditionally. She always looked for the good in everything and everyone. She motivated and inspired everyone she came in contact with. She’ll truly be missed.

That’s how I want it to read. Is that how it would read if I passed today? NO. I think right now it would read:

Marion was a good friend and a loyal wife. She was there for her dad until the end. She treated everyone with the respect they deserved no matter who they were. She was very giggly and laughed a lot. She was a good listener and she talked a lot too.

Marion was a go-getter and whenever she focused on something – look out world. She was great at manifesting what she wanted. She always looked for the positive even in the most negative situations. Marion was a wonderful mommy to her pets. She will be missed for her motivation and inspiration.

Even though it sounds good – the now – it’s nowhere near the future me, I want to be. I am still learning to be selfless, not that I’m selfish but it’s a constant learning for me. I do believe I’m a good friend in the way I listen and give advice and do my best to motivate and inspire anyone and everyone sometimes to a fault. I make it my life’s mission, even when I’m not working.  I still have a lot to improve upon and evolve in life.

By reading my memorial, it makes me aware of exactly who and what I want to be; with that knowledge I can turn it into affirmations to live by.  Some people prefer affirmations with – I will, I prefer – I am. I speak in the now even if it’s something I want for the future because it makes it real, as if I’m already there. I wrote them both ways for you to pick from. It’s important to do whatever resonates with you and works best.

  • I will be in service whenever I can and there is a need to be.
  • I will be a selfless person and think about others.
  • I will be a good sister, friend and wife.
  • I will continue to be a good mommy to my pets and be more patient when need be.
  • I will be a better wife; constantly taking my husband’s feelings into consideration and putting myself in his shoes. I will work harder at compromise.

Can you see how it helped me to become aware of whom I wanted to be and what is really important to me? It’s an eye opening experience. I’m glad I’m writing it for you to read because it made me cognizant to the fact I forgot when I did it last time. Now I will keep my affirmations in a place where I can see them every day.

~~~

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

Soren Kierkegaard

~~~

When I was at Fort Dix, N.J., for Army basic training, my father, an Air Force master sergeant, was stationed at Dover Air Force Base in Delaware. I got a weekend pass, and Dad picked me up Friday evening so we could drive home to Massachusetts. On the way, we stopped at a diner. I was wearing my dress greens, and Dad was in dress blues. The waitress looked puzzled as she took our order. “Is something wrong, ma’am?” I asked.

“It’s unusual to see men in different services traveling together,” she explained.

“That’s nothing,” Dad replied. “He’s taking me home to sleep with his mother!”

~~~

We probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do.

Olin Miller

~~~

A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm and soothing voice, says, “Alright, take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is silence, and then a gun shot is heard. The hunter comes back on the line. “OK. Now what??”

~~~

You can only hold your stomach in for so many years.

~~~

Like a lot of husbands throughout history, Webster would sit down and try to talk to his wife.  But as soon as he would start to say something, his wife would say, “. . .And what’s that supposed to mean?”

Thus, Webster’s Dictionary was born.

~~~

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

~~~

A guy calls 911. “Help, send an ambulance! My wife is in labor and her water broke!

The 911 operator asks, “Is this her first child?”

“No, you moron” yells the guy. “This is her husband!”

~~~

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.

Cherokee Expression

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Soon it will be with us

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.

Albert Camus

autumn

Yesterday was Labor Day, a national holiday in my country so I joined with friends and neighbors and took the day off. Labor Day has special significance as it is traditionally viewed as beginning of the countdown to Autumn. Summer has been trying to hold on over the past few days by providing us torrid temperatures where I live but the it will start to moderate today.

As we enter the last quarter of the year our children are back in school, summer vacations are but a memory as we return to active working lives for most folks and sustainable activities for retirees like me. Happily the weeks ahead will be filled with color as the trees and bushes prepare for their annual hibernation as the leaves begin to leave their branches waiting to grow again in the spring.

For me it is one of my favorite times of the year. I find the brisk weather invigorating. The season abounds with things to do, theatre, festivals and more are in full swing. Not only that we get to break out our favorite sweaters, jackets and the like that have been hiding in drawers and closets since spring.

I know some of you in other parts of the world will soon enjoy your spring and others, even in my country, live in climates that keep autumn hidden away in the north. I am sorry that you will be deprived of the wonders that nature will provide those of us who are more fortunate.

Autumn

Julie L. O’Connor

There’s a crispness in the air that greets the morning sun, a feeling of anticipation, a new day has begun.

Harvest days are ending, winter is drawing near, yet in between is surely the most special time of year.

They call it Indian Summer, and it seems to fit the bill, for it’s as if the Lord took a feathered brush and painted all the hills.

Now as I sit contented, atop of one of these, a book in hand to pass the time, the sound of a gentle breeze,

I can almost imagine an Indian child upon this mountaintop, looking down at the land of her forefathers, lost within her thoughts

For in every person’s lifetime some heartache may occur, but on these hills in quiet solitude, God helps us to endure.

So I say that the eyes are a window, beauty is found within the soul, and upon the hills of Autumn, that are strewn with red and gold.

~~~

“Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale.”

Lauren DeStefano

~~~

During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, “The building is on fire!”

The Methodists gathered in the corner and prayed.

The Baptists cried, “Where is the water?”

The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings.

The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring the fire was evil.

The Roman Catholics passed the plate to cover the damage.

The Jews posted symbols on the door hoping the fire would pass.

The Congregationalists shouted, “Every man for himself!”

The Fundamentalists proclaimed, “It’s the vengeance of God!”

The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out.

The Christian Scientists concluded that there was no fire.

The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson who was to appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a written report.

The secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the fire out.

~~~

i’M NEW TO THIS. wHAT IS THIS “cAPS lOCK” BUTTON FOR?

~~~

Ole and Lena had married under none too happy circumstances, and their married life had not been anything to brag about either. But when, after they had been liveing together for thirty five years, Ole went to the local judge to ask for an annulment, the whole of Middleton gasped with amazement. A date for the hearing was set, however, and when the time came the judge demanded to know the grounds on which Ole based his demand for an annulment. “It’s like this, your Honor,” answered Ole, “I’ve just learned that Lena’s father never had a license to carry a gun.”

~~~

“I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.”

~~~

A plane hit a patch of severe turbulence and the passengers were holding on tight as it rocked and reeled through the night. A little old lady turned to a minister who was sitting behind her and said, “You’re a man of God. Can’t you do something about this?”

He replied, “Sorry, I can’t. I’m in sales, not management.”

~~~

“Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

~~~

“Now this is the verbal part of your employment test,” said the interviewer. “Can you tell me what gross aggrandized annuity means?”

“Certainly,” replied the applicant. “It means I absolutely don’t get the job.”

~~~

When I’m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

~~~

Two city swingers were walking in the country when one of them spotted a bug walking across the road. “What kind of bug is that?” he asked his companion. The companion leaned over and looked at the bug. “It’s a lady bug.” The first man looked at the bug again, then at his friend, and said: “Man, you sure got good eyes.”

~~~

“No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face.”

John Donne

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Enjoy the day, it will be gone tomorrow

“True happiness is to enjoy the present… without anxious dependence upon the future.”

Seneca

looking-for-true-happiness

I think I shared with you that I have a good friend who is being treated for cancer. He has been going through some rough times in the process but through it all he maintains a positive attitude while focusing in on what is good in his life. He is a great example of the value of easing life’s burdens by focusing in on our personal ability to find happiness.

I recently discovered the writings of Gail Sobotkin who shares my friend’s view of life. I have provided some of her thoughts below. We should not wait until the time comes that our unhappiness causes us to look for alternatives to our misery, we can start today to build a happy outlook on life.

Happiness is a Choice

I used to think that people who exuded joy and happiness were blessed with an easy life and had been spared hardships, but experience has taught me that happiness can be a conscious choice, regardless of one’s circumstances. According to the dictionary, the word “choose” means to:

  • select from a number of possibilities
  • prefer or decide (to do something)
  • want; desire
  • make a choice
  • be inclined

Mindful, conscious choices can bring happiness into our lives and help us feel empowered rather than overwhelmed by our current life circumstances. Focusing our attention on the present moment breathes positive energy into our lives and helps us let go of the way things were in the past.

During the last 22 years my husband suffered several heart attacks and I used to spend much of my time worrying about losing him. Adjusting to his diagnosis taught me the importance of focusing on each moment, and the futility and waste of spending the precious time we do have together worrying about what may occur in the future. Some days that’s still a challenge especially when new health crises or issues arise, but I’ve learned to cope through mindful meditation that returns my focus to the present and by being grateful for the time we do get to spend together.

When we choose to become more mindful of the present, we feel lighter, brighter and ready to move on. We don’t waste time focusing on the things that might happen, but rather focus on being grateful for the things we have in the present moment.

Seeking Our Highest Purpose is Key to Joy

We can all learn about highest purpose from the example that Mother Teresa gave us by the way she lived her life. Her life was devoted to tending the sick, poor and homeless, and we can also choose to honor our highest purpose by caring for our families, friends and strangers. We can engage in meaningful work whether through charity or paid employment. Even if we don’t believe in God we can believe in having a purpose that goes beyond our own existence. I believe that doing so is key to our own joy.

~~~

“There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that’s your own self.”

Aldous Huxley

~~~

At the local gas utility written orders are issued to change meters when they are old or malfunctioning. On the order sheet is a “remarks” section, where the service representative notes any problems that prevented the job from being completed. The most succinct explanation to come ever come back was: “DOG DOES NOT WANT METER TO BE CHANGED.”

~~~

If you’re yearning for the good old days, just turn off the air conditioning.

–  Griff Niblack

~~~

Karen:  On the cover of a women’s magazine, I saw the title: “Men’s Secret Fear About Their Working Wives.” I decided to get a first-hand account.  I asked my husband, “What’s your innermost fear about my working?”

Michelle:  What did he say?

Karen:  He said, “That you’ll quit.”

~~~

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.”

Jay Leno

~~~

Isaac was out shopping in when he sees a sign in a window saying, ‘JACOB’S CUSTOM MADE CLOTHING’. He’s not sure whether to go in – it looks like an expensive shop. But Jacob, the owner, sees him hesitating and quickly invites him in.

“What are you looking for?”

“A suit.”

“Good,” said Jacob, “you’ve come to the right place. When we make a suit here, you’ll be surprised at how we go about it. First, digital cameras take pictures of your every muscle and we download the pictures to a special computer to build up your image. Then we cultivate sheep in Australia to get the very best cloth. For the silk lining, we contact Japan for their silkworms, and we ask Japanese deep-sea divers to get the pearl buttons.

“B-b-bbut,” said Isaac, “I need the suit for a Bar Mitzvah.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow.”

“You’ll have it.”

~~~

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

~~~

One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches.

An altar boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he’d just seen.

“Son, you’ve just witnessed a miracle!” the priest said. “Tell me where is this man now?”

“Flat on his butt over by the holy water!” the boy informed him.

~~~

The Grocery Bag Law – The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

~~~

The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise. You need to make sure the dog runs around, the doctor said. Try playing a game of fetch.

“I can’t play fetch with my dog,” the blonde said.

“Why not?” the doctor asked.

“Because,” she replied, “He can’t throw!”.

~~~

“We can go through our whole lives worrying about our future happiness, and totally miss where true peace lives- right here, right now.”

Peter Russell

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

You really don’t want me to say yes.

“Sometimes “No” is the kindest word.”

Vironika Tugaleva

no

I have been somewhat distraught by the fact that health restrictions and my inability to predict my availability have kept me from doing as much as I would like to do. This reality has resulted in temporarily requiring me to say no to requests for my help. I suffer a few pangs of guilt as I see others do so much while I am on the sidelines. I am on the mend and hope to be able to do more in the months ahead.

It has never been easy to say no but it is worse to say yes and then fail to make your commitments. If you are like I am and find that turning down requests from others is hard you might find this article helpful.

Stages of Learning to Say “No”

By Donna Birk

One of the most important skills we can learn that will help us manage and fulfill our priorities is to say “No.” Once we get there, it becomes easier and easier, but initially it can be extremely awkward and unpopular with others. Knowing the stages we’ll go through can help us realize that what’s happening is natural and that it’s not just that we can’t seem to do it.

Stage 1: Identifying Opportunities

In this initial stage we have identified our need to learn to say “No” and have made it a goal. What happens is that we start to identify opportunities that have already past where we could have and should have said “No.” We may easily be able to relate to this stage. Most of us at one time or another have said to ourselves or someone else “I never should have agreed to do this.” It’s that regretful feeling that we didn’t take the chance when we had it. This is an important stage in the process, though, since it instills within us the negative experiences that can result from not having said “No.” When enough of those build up, we move on to the next stage.

Stage 2: Backing Up

This next stage of learning and practicing saying “No” is the most difficult. What actually happens is that we continue to say “Yes,” but decide later that we really should have said “No.” We get up the courage to make it right, go back to the other person and tell them we’ve changed our mind. We may feel uncertain, uncomfortable, embarrassed, unsure of ourselves, and not fully believe that what we’re trying to do is the right thing. Responses from others who let us know that we’ve let them down, we’re going back on your promise, or what will they do now certainly contribute to the discomfort we feel within this stage. We also, however, begin feeling intense moments of relief, self-confidence, and pride in ourselves. This is a stage where we seem to need the most reassurance that we’re on the right track. Bear with it, because it will be well worth it! When these positive experiences begin to have more impact than the discomfort, we move on to the next stage.

Stage 3: Doing the Right Thing at the Right Time

Within this stage, we have arrived at a place where we are able to say no at the right time: immediately. Again, this stage can be somewhat uncomfortable, but much of the discomfort, fear, and lack of confidence from the last stage has minimized dramatically. Because we are human beings who have feelings, we may never completely be rid of some sense of guilt or discomfort, but it will continue to have less and less of an impact on us.

No matter what stage you are in or if you’ve just decided to start learning to say “No,” use this information to reassure yourself that you’re not alone, you’re not crazy, and you’re not a bad person because you say “No” to someone. None of us are any good to anyone else unless we do what is right for us first.

~~~

“It takes effort to say no when our heart and brains and guts and, most important, pride are yearning to say yes. Practice.”

Cole Harmonson

~~~

The differences between North and South.

The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses

The North has dating services, The South has family reunions

The North has double last names, The South has double first names

The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads.

~~~

“A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.”

Robert Frost

~~~

A Jewish family invited their gentile neighbors over for holiday dinner. The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, “This is matzo ball soup.”

On seeing the two large matzo balls floating in the broth, the Gentile man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently the Jewish couple pressed the Gentile man. “Try it; if you don’t like it, you don’t have to finish it.”

Finally he agreed. He dug his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzo ball with some soup in his spoon, and tasting it gingerly. The usual “Mmmmmmmmm” sound could be heard coming from deep within his chest, and he quickly finished the whole bowl.

“That was good” the man said. “Can you eat any other parts of the matzo?”

~~~

Blessed are the pessimists, for they have made backups.

~~~

A Toddlers Crede…..

If it is on, I must turn it off.

If it is off, I must turn it on.

If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.

If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.

If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.

If it has leaves, they must be picked.

If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.

If it is closed, it must be opened.

If it does not open, it must be screamed at.

If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.

If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest.

If Mommy’s hands are full, I must be carried.

If it has buttons, they must be pressed.

If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.

If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.

If it doesn’t stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.

If it is not food, it must be tasted.

If it IS food, it must not be tasted.

If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.

If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.

I am a toddler!

~~~

“I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.”

Lewis Grizzard

~~~

A guy walked into his friend’s office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.

“Hey, what’s up with you?”, he asks.

“Oh, its my wife,” replied the man sadly. “She’s hired a new secretary for me.”

“Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?”

“Neither, He’s bald.”

~~~

“We must say “no” to what, in our heart, we don’t want. We must say “no” to doing things out of obligation, thereby cheating those important to us of the purest expression of our love. We must say “no” to treating ourselves, our health, our needs as not as important as someone else’s. We must say “no.”

Suzette Hinton

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

You are never too old to be young

“To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent–that is to triumph over old age.”

Thomas Bailey Aldrich

growing-older-gracefully

I was talking to a relatively new friend the other day and we chatted about how important friendships are to the human spirit. My friend who provides a wide range of services to the elderly reminded me of how critical having caring people around us is to graceful aging.

We all know the value of staying physically and mentally active at all ages, this is especially true as aging takes its toll. There is an old adage that says when we share our load with someone else the burden is cut in half. What we need is to offer to share the loads of others and be grateful when they share ours.

I am fortunate to have a spouse who provides me welcomed support and friends who provide me a rich and full existence. Here is a story that I like. I don’t know who wrote it but it hits home for me.

Old Friends Forever

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, and my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avant garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love… I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

~~~

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”

Sophia Loren

~~~

A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: “We have a critical shortage of typists. I’ll give you a little test. Type this,” he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine. The soldier, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.

The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. “That’s fine,” he said. “Report for work at 8 tomorrow.” “But aren’t you going to check the test?” the prospective clerk asked. The sergeant grinned.

“You passed the test,” he replied, “when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine.

~~~

Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.

Pablo Picasso

~~~

The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired.  At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.

As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills!!

“Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?!?”

“Yes, they help me sleep at night.”

“Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep at night!”

She reached out and patted the young Doctor’s knee.

“Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks…

And believe me…….it helps me sleep at night!!!”

~~~

We have enough people who tell it like it is; now we could use a few who can tell it like it can be.

~~~

Lil’ Johnny’s mother took her 6 year old son with her to the bank.  They were in line behind a rather obese lady.  As the mother patiently waited, Lil’ Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, “Hey, Mom, she’s really fat.”

The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his mother and gave an understanding smile.  Lil’ Johnny received a reprimand.

After a minute or two, Lil’ Johnny spread his hands as far as they will go and loudly said, “I bet her butt is ‘that’ wide.”

At this the lady glared at Johnny. His embarrassed mother severely scolds her son.

Again after a couple of minutes Lil’ Johnny stated loudly, “Look how the fat hangs over her belt.” The lady turned and told Johnny’s mother to control her child and his mother threatened him with severe bodily harm.

The lady’s pager begins to go off. Lil’ Johnny yelled in a panic at the top of his voice, “Run for your life, she’s backing up”

~~~

Don’t be so humble, you’re not that great.

Golda Meir

~~~

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3,000 responses about three days after the ad came out. All from the same person.

~~~

“Nothing is inherently and invincibly young except spirit. And spirit can enter a human being perhaps better in the quiet of old age and dwell there more undisturbed than in the turmoil of adventure.”

George Santayana

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

You can do it

When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.

Confucius

wishfull thinking

I had lunch yesterday with a favorite friend who heads up an organization that is vital to the future of a major portion of our city. Like so many other community based initiatives these days the needs and opportunities far exceed the resources needed to do all that could be done.

As is always the case my friend has to establish priorities and then implement realistic plans that will do the most for those she serves. In situations like these the key is the ability not only to secure funds but also to motivate talented volunteers who can lend their hands, hearts and minds to help assure success.

Unfortunately too many think that getting people engaged and productive is easy but they find it is not. When goals are set they must be challenging but also realistic, people will soon walk away if the goals are so difficult to reach that they get frustrated by the lack of progress. Here is an article written some years ago by Heidi Grant Halvorson Ph.D. that I wish those whose job it is to rally the troops will take to heart.

The 3 Biggest Myths About Motivation That Won’t Go Away

People can have remarkably keen insights into their own behavior. Then again, people can also be remarkably wrong about why they, and everyone else, do the things that they do. And some of those people turn out to be motivational speakers and authors. No doubt their intentions are very admirable—many genuinely want to help others to reach a higher level of success. But too often, they simply end up reinforcing false notions (albeit intuitively appealing ones) about how motivation works. Here are three of the most firmly entrenched motivational myths:

Just Write Down Your Goals, and Success is Guaranteed!

There is a story that motivational speakers/authors love to tell about the Yale Class of 1953.  Researchers, so the story goes, asked graduating Yale seniors if they had specific goals they wanted to achieve in the future that they had written down. Twenty years later, the researchers found that the mere 3 percent of students who had specific, written goals were wealthier than the other 97 percent combined. Isn’t that amazing? It would be if it were true, which it isn’t.

I wish it were that simple. To be fair, there is evidence that getting specific about what you want to achieve is really important. It’s not a guaranteed road to fabulous wealth, but still important. In other words, specificity is necessary, but it’s not nearly sufficient. Writing goals down is actually neither—it can’t hurt, but there’s also no hard evidence that writing per se does anything to help.

Just Try to Do Your Best!

Telling someone, or yourself, to just “do your best” is believed to be a great motivator. It isn’t. Theoretically, it encourages without putting on too much pressure. In reality, and rather ironically, it is more-or-less permission to be mediocre. 

Edwin Locke and Gary Latham, two renown organizational psychologists, have spent several decades studying the difference between “do your best” goals and their antithesis: specific and difficult goals. Evidence from more than 1,000 studies conducted by researchers across the globe shows that goals that not only spell out exactly what needs to be accomplished, but that also set the bar for achievement high, result in far superior performance than simply trying to “do your best.”  That’s because more difficult goals cause you to, often unconsciously, increase your effort, focus and commitment to the goal, persist longer, and make better use of the most effective strategies. 

Just Visualize Success!

Advocates of “positive thinking” are particularly fond of this piece of advice. But visualizing success, particularly effortless success, is not just unhelpful—it’s a great way to set yourself up for failure.

Few motivational gurus understand that there’s an awfully big difference between believing you will succeed, and believing you will succeed easily. Realistic optimists believe they will succeed, but also believe they have to make success happen—through things like effort, careful planning, persistence, and choosing the right strategies. They don’t shy away from thinking “negative” thoughts, like what obstacles will I face? and how will I deal with them?

Unrealistic optimists, on the other hand, believe that success will happen to them, if they do lots and lots of visualizing. Recent research(link is external) shows that this actually (and once again, ironically) serves to drain the very energy we need to reach our goals. People who spend too much time fantasizing about the wonderful future that awaits them don’t have enough gas left in the tank to actually get there.

You can cultivate a more realistically optimistic outlook by combining confidence in your ability to succeed with an honest assessment of the challenges that await you. Don’t visualize success—visualize the steps you will take in order to make success happen.

~~~

“A goal properly set is halfway reached.”

Zig Ziglar

~~~

Mom was getting swamped with calls from strangers.  The reason?  A medical billing service had launched an 800 number that was identical to hers.  When she called to complain, she was told to get a new number.  I’ve had mine for twenty years,” she pleaded.  “Couldn’t you change yours?”

The company refused.

So Mom said, “Fine.  From now on, I’m going to tell everyone who calls that the bill is paid in full.”

The company got a new number the next day.

~~~

The argument you just won with your spouse isn’t over yet

~~~

On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light.  Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” she said, “but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time.”

~~~

Boy is this true!!! The problem with telephones is that they never nap when you do.

~~~

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the druggist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”

Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute – listen to my side of it.  This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.  I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t lock the house with both house and car keys inside.  I had to break a window to get my keys.

Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket.  Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.  When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up.  I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off.  Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.

I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels – the phone is still ringing – when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.  The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it.

It was your wife – she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.

And Mister, I TOLD HER!”

~~~

Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

~~~

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.”

Pablo Picasso

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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