Say not in grief: “He is no more”, but live in thankfulness that he was.
I just learned of the passing of an old friend and former colleague who I had not seen in many years. As is always the case at times like these my mind becomes flooded with memories of the times we shared together. As we live or lives we take the day to day moments for granted not really realizing that each experience is a brush stroke on the canvas that provides the life portrait of old friends. For me his portrait is a pleasing picture of a friend I appreciated.
His death also reminded me of the fact that each day I add more brush strokes to the image that others will see when I to leave this world. I hope some of the over painting I have done in recent years covers up my many failings early in life.
Here is an edited piece written by Marion Licchiello-Lenz many years ago that I need to reread once in a while as a reminder of what I should focus on.
How Do You Want To Be Remembered?
I remember listening to a personal development CD years ago from a motivational speaker and he said something to the effect of – “by writing out your memorial service or what you’d want someone to say at your service, you can change your life from who you are to who you want to become.”
This is such a powerful exercise because you may not be living as that person; the person you want to be remembered as. I would want my memorial to read:
Marion was such a wonderful, giving person. She did her best to be in service at all times. She was selfless and treated everyone with the respect they deserve no matter who they were. She was funny and giggled a lot.
Marion was a wonderful, daughter, sister and friend. She was a great wife and a very patient mom to her pets. She married her soul mate and they had the best days of their lives together; the kind of marriage her aunt and uncle had, a true love; an unconditional love.
Marion loved others unconditionally. She always looked for the good in everything and everyone. She motivated and inspired everyone she came in contact with. She’ll truly be missed.
That’s how I want it to read. Is that how it would read if I passed today? NO. I think right now it would read:
Marion was a good friend and a loyal wife. She was there for her dad until the end. She treated everyone with the respect they deserved no matter who they were. She was very giggly and laughed a lot. She was a good listener and she talked a lot too.
Marion was a go-getter and whenever she focused on something – look out world. She was great at manifesting what she wanted. She always looked for the positive even in the most negative situations. Marion was a wonderful mommy to her pets. She will be missed for her motivation and inspiration.
Even though it sounds good – the now – it’s nowhere near the future me, I want to be. I am still learning to be selfless, not that I’m selfish but it’s a constant learning for me. I do believe I’m a good friend in the way I listen and give advice and do my best to motivate and inspire anyone and everyone sometimes to a fault. I make it my life’s mission, even when I’m not working. I still have a lot to improve upon and evolve in life.
By reading my memorial, it makes me aware of exactly who and what I want to be; with that knowledge I can turn it into affirmations to live by. Some people prefer affirmations with – I will, I prefer – I am. I speak in the now even if it’s something I want for the future because it makes it real, as if I’m already there. I wrote them both ways for you to pick from. It’s important to do whatever resonates with you and works best.
- I will be in service whenever I can and there is a need to be.
- I will be a selfless person and think about others.
- I will be a good sister, friend and wife.
- I will continue to be a good mommy to my pets and be more patient when need be.
- I will be a better wife; constantly taking my husband’s feelings into consideration and putting myself in his shoes. I will work harder at compromise.
Can you see how it helped me to become aware of whom I wanted to be and what is really important to me? It’s an eye opening experience. I’m glad I’m writing it for you to read because it made me cognizant to the fact I forgot when I did it last time. Now I will keep my affirmations in a place where I can see them every day.
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
When I was at Fort Dix, N.J., for Army basic training, my father, an Air Force master sergeant, was stationed at Dover Air Force Base in Delaware. I got a weekend pass, and Dad picked me up Friday evening so we could drive home to Massachusetts. On the way, we stopped at a diner. I was wearing my dress greens, and Dad was in dress blues. The waitress looked puzzled as she took our order. “Is something wrong, ma’am?” I asked.
“It’s unusual to see men in different services traveling together,” she explained.
“That’s nothing,” Dad replied. “He’s taking me home to sleep with his mother!”
We probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do.
A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm and soothing voice, says, “Alright, take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is silence, and then a gun shot is heard. The hunter comes back on the line. “OK. Now what??”
You can only hold your stomach in for so many years.
Like a lot of husbands throughout history, Webster would sit down and try to talk to his wife. But as soon as he would start to say something, his wife would say, “. . .And what’s that supposed to mean?”
Thus, Webster’s Dictionary was born.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
A guy calls 911. “Help, send an ambulance! My wife is in labor and her water broke!
The 911 operator asks, “Is this her first child?”
“No, you moron” yells the guy. “This is her husband!”
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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