Ray's musings and humor

“There is no bad time for good news.”

Stephen King

Good_News

There hardly seems to be a day that goes by without news of shootings, major fires, famine, violence and the like. Even in my city we are seeing youth shootings at levels seldom seen before. I live in a city filled with good people and pleasant neighborhoods where the living conditions are very good, I just wish it was that way for everyone who lives here.

I worry that we concentrate so much on the bad news that we start to think and behave defensively. Sure there are scams going on and people who have little respect for others but we must not lose sight of the fact they are the small minority. We must not act like everyone is ready to steal from us and close out the world by establishing walls built out of fear. I would rather be scammed by one person than to fail to do what I can for those who I can help.

When I read the following story years ago my thought at first were centered on the theft but as I thought about it I could see how knowing that a child was not near death was better than if one was. I abhor the violence that exists but I don’t want to lose sight of the fact that most of us live happy lives and be grateful for that. We can still do what we can to make things safe for others. Here is the story I read long ago that still has meaning for me.

Good News

Good news or bad news? It depends on how you see things. You can be bitter after being cheated. Or you can choose to move on with your life…

Robert De Vincenzo, the great Argentine golfer, once won a tournament and, after receiving the check and smiling for the cameras, he went to the clubhouse and prepared to leave. Some time later, he walked alone to his car in the parking lot and was approached by a young woman.

She congratulated him on his victory and then told him that her child was seriously ill and near death. She did not know how she could pay the doctor’s bills and hospital expenses.

De Vincenzo was touched by her story, and he took out a pen and endorsed his winning check for payment to the woman. “Make some good days for the baby,” he said as he pressed the check into her hand.

The next week he was having lunch in a country club when a Professional Golf Association official came to his table. “Some of the boys in the parking lot last week told me you met a young woman there after you won that tournament.” De Vincenzo nodded. “Well,” said the official, “I have news for you. She’s a phony. She has no sick baby. She’s not even married. She fleeced you, my friend.”

“You mean there is no baby who is dying?” said De Vincenzo.

“That’s right,” said the official.

“That’s the best good news I’ve heard all week.” De Vincenzo said.

~~~

“For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news.”

Gloria Borger

~~~

Four retired guys are walking down a street in Milwaukee.

They turn a corner and see a sign that says “Old Timer’s Bar”  ” ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS!”  They look at each other, and then go in.

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, “Come on in and let me pour one for you, what’ll it be, Gentlemen?”

There seems to be a fully stocked bar, so the men all ask for a martini. In short order, the bartender serves up 4 iced martinis — and says, “That’ll be 10 cents each, please.”

They can’t believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, “That’s 40 more cents, please.”

They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They’ve each had two martinis and so far they’ve spent  less than a dollar. Finally. one of the men couldn’t stand it any longer and asks the bartender “How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?”

“Here’s my story. I’m a retired cop from New York, and I always wanted to own a bar.  Last year I hit the lottery for $25 million, and decided to open this place.  Every drink costs a dime, wine, liquor, beer, all the same.”

“Wow. That’s quite a story” says one of the men.

The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn’t help but notice three other guys at the end of the bar who didn’t have a drink in front of them, and hadn’t ordered anything the whole time they were there.

One man gestures at the three at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, “What’s with them?”

The bartender says, “They’re seniors from Florida, they’re waiting for Happy Hour.”

~~~

I Live in My Own World But It’s OK — They Know Me Here

~~~

One night a fellow drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily.

The next night the man and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat. Not wanting to be conspicuous, he waited until his wife was looking out her window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car.

With a sigh of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That’s when he noticed his wife squirming around in her seat. “Honey,” she asked, “have you seen my other shoe?”

~~~

A man should live forever, or die trying.

~~~

A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be “Macho”, and went out walking with one of the hired hands. Walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried starting a conversation:

“Say, look at that big bunch of buffalos.”

The hired hand replied, “Not ‘bunch’ but ‘herd’.”

“Heard what?”

“Herd of buffalos.”

“Sure, I’ve heard of buffalos. There’s a big bunch of ’em right over there.”

~~~

My dog saw a sign that said: “Wet Paint” – so he did!

~~~

He said: Tech support people like me spend our days on the phone with customers. Many like to chat while waiting for their computers to reboot. One man told me he’d been a long-haul truck driver. I’d love to drive a big rig,” I said, “but I’d worry about falling asleep at the wheel.”

“Here’s a tip to stay awake,” he offered. “Put a $100 bill in your left hand and hold it out the window.”

~~~

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

~~~

The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts and I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was disappointed to find only a few skimpy pre-packaged portions of the poultry, so I complained to the butcher.

“Don’t worry,” she said, “I’ll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping.”

Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher’s voice boom over the public-address system:  “Will the gentleman who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store.”

~~~

There are people who Dream and there are people who Scream. There are people who Cry and there are people who Fly. The good news is that this is a CHOICE!

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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