Ray's musings and humor

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“Contentment, and indeed usefulness, comes as the infallible result of great acceptances, great humilities—of not trying to make ourselves this or that, but of surrendering ourselves to the fullness of life—of letting life flow through us.”

David Grayson

contentment-post

I am running behind and have a full morning with my first meeting at 6 AM so I am afraid you will have read another Daily from yesteryear.

Ray’s Daily first published on July 16, 2003

15 years ago today I was at the U.S. Olympic Trials here in Indianapolis as Florence Griffith Joyner ran the 100 meters in 10.49 seconds, shattering Evelyn Ashford’s women’s world record of 10.76. Our cities hosting of the trials was another example of Indianapolis’ strong commitment to amateur athletics. Over the years the Pan American games, track and field championships, the NCAA basketball final four, championship swimming and diving meets, gymnastics, and other sporting events have helped us earn the reputation as the Amateur Sports Capital of the US.

It has not been our facilities, even though they are world class, that has brought so many athletes to our city, rather it has been the people of Central Indiana. It has been Hoosier hospitality that has made the difference. We have, probably the country’s finest cadre of volunteers, people who go out of their way to make every event, every convention, and every meeting held in Indianapolis a pleasant experience. As many of you know Kiwanis International just held our convention here a few weeks ago. All I heard from the attendees from around the world was how much they enjoyed their stay. It truly is a nice place to be, if you have not been here before, come visit us, you will be glad you did.

~~~

Friendship isn’t a big thing it’s a million little things.

~~~

An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife’s birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, “Your loving husband.”

His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, many bouquets later, when he came home, kissed his wife and said off-handledly, “Nice flowers, honey. Where’d you get them?”

~~~

I hate to have to go to the ER because the service is SO SLOW! I don’t mean to be nasty, but the last time I had to go, the person ahead of me had a musket wound!

~~~

A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. After two weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they had received from friends and family. Since this was a new home, the process took some time. The silver went into the closet, items were put on the walls for display and some of the more intimate apparel was put in the bedroom drawers.

A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show, for which tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the envelope was a small piece of paper with a single line: “Guess who sent them!”

The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value. And on the bare table in the dining-room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets: “Now you know!”

~~~

Remember, the lesser of two evils is still evil.

~~~

“Thank you for calling Adventures in Telephoning Unlimited.

“If you wish to leave a message for Bill, please press 1. If you wish to leave a message for Tony, please press 2. If it’s Marty you’re calling, please press 3.

“If none of these names make any sense to you, you’ve probably called the wrong number. In that case, please press 4 and leave a message for Nick, he’s feeling ignored.”

~~~

If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on Earth?

~~~

Love is holding hands in the street

Marriage is holding arguments in the street

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant

Marriage is Chinese take-out

Love is cuddling on a sofa

Marriage is deciding on a sofa

Love is talking about having children

Marriage is talking about getting away from children

Love is going to bed early

Marriage is going to sleep early

Love is a romantic drive

Marriage is a long, hot ride

Love is losing your appetite

Marriage is losing your figure

Love is sweet nothings in the ear

Marriage is sweet nothings in the bank

Love is a flickering flame

Marriage is a flickering television

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws

Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?!”

~~~

“I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.”

George Burns

~~~

The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when they grew up. A chorus of responses came from all over the room.

“A football player,” “A doctor,” “An astronaut,” “The president,” “A fireman,” “A teacher,” “A race car driver.” Everyone that is, except Tommy. The teacher noticed he was sitting there quiet and still. So she said to him, “Tommy, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

“Possible” Tommy replied.

“Possible?” asked the teacher.

“Yes,” Tommy said. “My mom is always telling me I’m impossible. So when I get to be big, I want to be possible.”

~~~

“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”

Charles Wadsworth

~~~

A woman was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. “Take my advice,” said the neighbor, “and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from my bed, I called out : ‘Is that you, Jim?’ And that cured him.”

“Cured him!” asked the woman, “but how?”

The neighbor said, “You see, my husband’s name is Ted.”

~~~

“My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.”

Mark Twain

~~~

“Try to keep your soul young and quivering right up to old age, and to imagine right up to the brink of death that life is only beginning. I think that is the only way to keep adding to one’s talent, and one’s inner happiness.”

George Sand

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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