Ray's musings and humor

Help me understand

“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.”

Abraham Lincoln

Help_Me_Understand

My wife and I had the great pleasure of being visited by two old friends this past weekend. They both worked in the same computer company I did years ago. It had been more than twenty five years since I last saw them. My friend Gene, the husband, was someone who I hold in high regard. We were more than colleagues we were friends.

We spent part of our time reminiscing over the past. Memories of people and places surfaced as we talked. Like everyone we both remembered both good times and those that were not so good. One of those memories was the time when Gene and I tried to locate a fellow worker that we knew was extremely despondent. Unfortunately we did not reach in time to keep him from taking his life. I wondered then and I wonder now if I had been more understanding of his pain we may have saved him.

I have tried to restrain myself over the years from being too judgmental of others. Far too often we only react to people as they appear to be rather than trying to understand why they are the way they are.

Here is something that helps me to be a little more patient and understanding. I wish more people would follow its advice.

Help Us to Remember

Anonymous

Help us to remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day, that she is rushing home to cook dinner and help with homework, to do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who takes forever at the checkout stand, is a worried 19-year-old college student, who is balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week,  this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive. Let us show patience, empathy and love.

Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity.

Remind us each day that of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love.

~~~

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.

Ann Landers

~~~

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!” Everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had “fallen.”

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe, old age. A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. “Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they’ve fallen.”

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about, because your wife has already fallen three times this week!”

~~~

If you don’t start, it’s certain you won’t arrive.

~~~

These were real ads:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES.

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR’S DOG.

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE. ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED… ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.

GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN – 89 cents lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.

~~~

E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.

~~~

TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have??

VINCENT: One dollar.

TEACHER(sadly): You don’t know your arithmetic…

VINCENT(sadly): You don’t know my father…

~~~

What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter.

~~~

Suzanne was on a flight from Detroit to San Diego when the guy next to her asked if she would like to play a fun game. She was tired and just wanted to take a nap, so she politely declined and rolled over to the window to catch a few winks. The neighbor persisted and explained that the game was easy and a lot of fun.

He said, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa.” Again, she declined and tried to get some sleep. Agitated, the man said, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.”

This caught Suzanne’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The guy asked the first question: “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” Suzanne doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to him.

“Okay,” says the man, “your turn.”

She asks, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?”

The neighbor, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references… no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress… nothing. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he woke up Suzanne and handed her $500. She thanked him and turned back to get some more sleep. The guy, more than a little miffed, stirred Suzanne and asked, “Well, what’s the answer?”

Without a word, she reached into her purse, handed the guy $5, and went back to sleep.

~~~

“Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source.”

Ron Nesen

~~~

A college professor had the mysterious habit of removing a tennis ball from his jacket pocket as he walked into the lecture hall each morning. He would set it on the corner of the podium. After giving the lecture for the day, he would once again pick up the tennis ball, place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the room. No one ever understood why he did this, until one day …A student fell asleep during the lecture. The professor didn’t missa word of his lecture while he walked over to the podium, picked up the tennis ball, and threw it, hitting the sleeping student squarely on the top of the head.

The next day, the professor walked into the room, reached into his jacket, removed a baseball …

No one ever fell asleep in his class the rest of the semester!

~~~

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.

Og Mandino

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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