Ray's musings and humor

Good Luck

Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.

John Wooden

! 0000000 Best-Of-Everything

I was at the eye doctor yesterday discussing some impending eye surgery that I will have done later this month. He talked about some of my health history may require some unusual techniques during the procedure. I shared with him that I have long ago learned that what is is what is and that rather than my trying to change reality it is better to adjust to it.

I listen to so many people these days complaining about everything from the weather to today’s society. I have often thought about how much better their life would be if they rechanneled their energy to doing something positive for themselves rather than fighting things they can’t change.

As life goes on we all run into adversity, some of us just accept it, do the best we can and then move on. The trouble is that too many of us don’t explore alternatives, as an example there is no better time to curl up in a chair and read than when there is a storm raging outside.

Here is a story by an unknown author that demonstrates what thinking outside the box can do.

Don’t Change the World

Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a prosperous country. One day, he went for a trip to some distant areas of his country. When he was back to his palace, he complained that his feet were very painful, because it was the first time that he went for such a long trip, and the road that he went through was very rough and stony. He then ordered his people to cover every road of the entire country with leather. Definitely, this would need thousands of cows’ skin, and would cost a huge amount of money.

Then one of his wise servant dared himself to tell the king, “Why do you have to spend that unnecessary amount of money ? Why don’t you just cut a little piece of leather to cover your feet ?”

The king was surprised, but he later agreed to his suggestion, to make a “shoe” for himself.

There is actually a valuable lesson of life in this story : to make this world a happy place to live, you better change yourself – your heart; and not the world.

~~~

Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got.

Art Buchwald

~~~

The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he’d dreamed of working since a young boy. He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Sub School. The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, “Listen, ‘sir’, its real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the number of times we surface. Divide that number by two. If the result doesn’t come out even, don’t open the hatch.”

~~~

Live your life so that when you die, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

~~~

In Miami, the jurors in a multi-billion dollar lawsuit against the tobacco industry were ordered by the judge to not see the movie “The Insider”, because it might influence their verdict. He also ordered them not to see “The House on Haunted Hill”.

The prosecutor was surprised to hear this instruction and he said “I understand why you’ve instructed the jurors to not see ‘The Insider’, but why should they avoid the second movie, your honor?”.

Being quick and to the point, the judge firmly stated “Because it stinks!”

~~~

“A year from now you may wish you had started today.”

Karen Lamb

~~~

She was trying to get her seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers. “How would you feel,” she asked, “if someone showed up on your doorstep who looked very different, spoke a strange language and wore unusual clothes? Wouldn’t you be a bit scared?” “Nah,” one boy answered, “I’d just figure it was my sister’s date.”

~~~

Home is where you can say anything you like ’cause nobody listens to you anyway.

~~~

An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death’s door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall as ordered. On the third day the had the old fellow up and the nurse told how he complained bitterly each time they did. The surgeon told them to keep walking him, no matter what.

After a fortnight, the patient was ready to go home. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father, telling him he was a miracle worker. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation and that they had been lucky to get him into the hospital time.

“Oh no, doctor, you don’t understand,” they said, “Our father hasn’t walked in over a year!”

~~~

There’s one thing you can always give to the person who has everything, and that’s the closet space to keep it.

~~~

The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it. After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard.

The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short while had the set completely assembled.

It’s beyond me,” said the father, “how you got it together without even reading instructions.”

“To tell the truth,” replied the old-timer, “I can’t read, and when you can’t read, you’ve got to think.”

~~~

“If you wait until you can do everything for everybody, instead of something for somebody, you’ll end up not doing anything for anybody.”

Malcom Bane

~~~

Jewish Mothers don’t differ from any other in the world when it comes to bragging about their sons.  One Mother, trying to out-do another when it came to opportunities available to their just graduated-from-college sons said, “My Irving has had so many fine interviews, his resume is now in its fifth printing.”

~~~

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”

Joseph Campbell

~~~

The woman applying for the job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job.

“Look miss,” said the foreman. “Do you have any experience in picking lemons?”

“Well, as a matter if fact, yes!” she replied. “I’ve been divorced three times.”

~~~

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.

Jim Rohn

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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