Some people like you, some people don’t. In the end you just have to be yourself.
If you have been reading my Daily for very long you have heard me write that I am who I am and this is as good as I get. We can be friends or not it is your choice. You see I learned some time ago that if I tried being someone I am not I didn’t develop the kind of true friendships that develop from just being who I really am versus pretending to be someone else.
It is so much better to accept a friendship from someone who appreciated who you really are rather than a facade that his your true self. Here is an edited article that offers the opportunity for some of us to rethink how we treat ourselves.
YOUR INNER CRITIC Vs. YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF
By Doris Helge, Ph.D.
Have you ever said “Yes” when you wanted to say “No?” Are you ever angry because your needs are ignored? Your self-esteem will soar when you stop being who you think you “should be” and become the shining star you truly are. The world is starved for your unique talents, so it’s essential that you manage your inner critic.
YOUR INNER CRITIC STRUGGLES TO PLEASE OTHER PEOPLE
People pleasing is a reliable recipe for failure. Even if we please the other person, when we aren’t living our truth and meeting our own needs, we only gain conditional approval that can be withdrawn if we ever show our True Self. Sooner or later, usually at a very inconvenient time, our fake façade will be exposed.
People pleasing is born from insecurity and lack of self-respect. We waste time and energy struggling to squash our True Self into an unforgiving box that suffocates our Soul.
HOW TO EMPOWER YOURSELF WITH CONFIDENCE
Only when we’re true to ourselves do we radiate a confidence that other people respect, even if they don’t want to be best buddies because we don’t resonate with them.
Which of these two choices is yours?
- Struggle to Please Other People. This option will zap your energy and destroy your self-esteem and peace of mind. You’ll struggle to maintain fragile friendships built on the lies of inauthenticity. You’ll constantly try to guess which direction to tilt each time a brisk wind blows.
- Be Your Authentic Self. You’ll enjoy genuine relationships built on honesty and the courage to be vulnerable. The beautiful audios playing in the back of your mind will be confidently crooning, “This is who I am, world. I love myself too much to try to be who I’m not.” When you make this choice, you replace fear, inner conflict and self-sabotage with self-love and higher self-esteem.
Here’s a secret that will cause you to breathe a big sigh of relief. The people whose opinions you’ve been so concerned about are so busy judging themselves that they don’t have the time or energy to judge you.
No one else is qualified. Also, no one else deserves the special honor that your unique DNA has uniquely qualified you to enjoy. The more authentic you are, the more you’ll genuinely and easily connect with other people. You’ll enjoy loving, supportive personal and professional relationships that produce endless growth and joy.
Until you have the courage to stop hiding Your True Self under the veil of who you think you’re supposed to be, your light will be so dim that you’ll never grasp how brilliant you are. Once you decide to be genuine, the special light that only you can shine will shimmer with a radiance that will amaze you.
The first step is to manage your inner critic, the critical internal voice that tries to curb your personal growth with critical comments like, “You’re not good enough,” and “It’s not safe to show people Your Authentic Self.” Gain the joy of personal empowerment and happiness by discovering how to conquer your inner critic.
“Be yourself- not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.”
Henry David Thoreau
A man went to see his doctor because his hands kept shaking.
“Do you drink much?” asked the doctor.
“No,” said the man. “I spill most of it”.
“I’m all in favor of free expression provided it’s kept rigidly under control.
A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, “You know, honey, I think there might be some real merit to what this article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves a stumbling block to the son.”
“Well, thank heaven,” said the wife, “at least our James has nothing standing in his way.”
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial-it went like this:
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q: Officer, who provided this description?
A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender.
Do you trust your fellow officers?
A: Yes sir, with my life.
Q: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer-do you have a locker room in the police station-a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A: Yes sir, we do.
Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
A: Yes sir, I do.
Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
A: Yes sir.
Q: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers?
A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room.
Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
A man goes to a fortune teller to seek his fortune. The fortune teller says, “You are the Father of two children.”
The Father laughed and said, “That’s what you think, I’m the Father of three.”
The fortune teller laughed and said, “Nope. That’s what you think.”
You have a unique gift to offer this world. Be true to yourself, be kind to yourself, read and learn about everything that interests you and keep away from people who bring you down. When you treat yourself kindly and respect the uniqueness of those around you, you will be giving this world an amazing gift… YOU!
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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