Ray's musings and humor

As we grow older the beauty steals inward.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 ! 000000 live-your-life

If you are as old as I am you have learned that that your perspective changes as the years roll by. Who would have thought that we would ever think of people in their sixties as being young, but in reality most are, certainly a lot more vigorous than those of us who are trying to extend our prime through exercise, diet and good humor. In my case mostly good humor.

When I am with my fellow golden agers the conversations tend to be medical, historical and imaginative. We see our age in different ways, often those who seem the most fragile in reality are the most vibrant. Their secret? Don’t dwell on you infirmities, rather find joy in what you find around you. Here is something I may have shared with you before, I don’t know who wrote it but it works for many of us.

How to Stay Young

  1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay ‘them’
  2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
  3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’
  4. Enjoy the simple things.
  5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
  6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves (and GOD). Be ALIVE while you are alive.
  7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, and hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
  8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
  9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
  10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER… Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

~~~

‘Age’ is the acceptance of a term of years. But maturity is the glory of years.

Martha Graham

~~~

New Office Work Rules

  1. SICKNESS: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept your doctor’s statement as proof of illness, as we believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
  2. LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR AN OPERATION: We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may not need all of whatever you have, and you should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed certainly makes you less than we bargained for.
  3. DEATH, OTHER THAN YOUR OWN: This is no excuse. If you can arrange for funeral services to be held late in the afternoon, however, we can let you off an hour early, provided all your work is up to date.
  4. DEATH, YOUR OWN: This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like at least two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.
  5. PERSONAL HYGIENE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the washrooms. In the future, you will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order, for instance, those with last names beginning with “A” will be allowed to go from 9:00-9:05, and so on. If you are unable to go at your appointed time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes around again.
  6. QUANTITY OF WORK: No matter how much you do, you’ll never do enough.
  7. QUALITY OF WORK: The minimum acceptable level is perfection.
  8. ADVICE FROM OWNER: Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
  9. THE BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT.
  10. WHEN THE BOSS IS WRONG, REFER TO RULE 9.

~~~

He had delusions of adequacy.”

Walter Kerr

~~~

After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board following the close of the service. The first man to arrive and greet the minister was a total stranger. “You misunderstood my announcement. This is a meeting of the board members,” explained the minister.

“I know,” said the man, “but if there is anyone here more bored than I am, then I’d like to meet him.”

~~~

Vuja De – The Feeling You’ve Never Been Here.

~~~

In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain how societies ideal of beauty changes with time.   “For example, he said, “take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five feet one inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and had measurements of 30-25-32. How do you think she’d do in today’s version of the contest?”

The class fell silent for a moment. Then one student piped up, “Not very well.”

“Why is that?” Asked the professor.

“For one thing,” the student said, “She’d be way too old.”

~~~

Seven out of 10 people say they are feeling the pinch of high gas prices. The other three have bought siphoning equipment.

Jim Barach

~~~

There’s a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Tim’s Grocery Store. The owner Tim doesn’t know what Junior’s problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel.

To prove it, sometimes they offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel – they say – because it’s bigger.

One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, Tim got him off to one side and said, “Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don’t know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it’s bigger, or what?”

And Junior said, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d quit doing it.

~~~

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.

Sophia Loren

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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