Ray's musings and humor

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”

Charles Dickens

 ! 00000 how-can-i-help

I was with a friend the other day who thought they had more bad days than good days. This disturbed me somewhat as I know we all occasionally get into a funk and end up feeling bad but don’t let it take us down. In my case when I am down my friends often step in and remind me that things are seldom as bad as we seem to imagine them. In fact the greatest gift our friends can give us their helping us through the rough spots in our lives.

One of the best ways to build friendships is our willingness to care for the people we meet. Being sincerely interested in the wellbeing of another person is often all it takes to build a bond with someone who can become a lifelong friend.

Sometime ago I copied an article written by Amy Klimek of ZipRecruiter that I think has great merit, here in part is what she wrote:

The 4 Most Powerful Words You Can Ask Someone

Both in life and in business, we experience individual struggles that cause us stress, frustration, anger, embarrassment and overall contribute to one of those “really bad days.” What’s worse is that because these struggles are uniquely our own, we often feel like we are completely alone when it comes to overcoming them. Feeling the need to internalize our bad days and the challenges they bring only feed the unhealthy cycle in which we forget to reach out to other people who appear to have hit a road bump. This brings me to the grand reveal of the four most powerful words we can ask someone today. And that is….

“How can I help?”

It’s deceptively simple and so obvious that it seems silly. When we see someone struggling or upset, we should ask how we can help. But, do we? I’ll be the first to admit I do not – at least not as often as I should. In 2015 I want that to change. I want to inspire you to also take the lead in transforming us back into a society who takes an interest in the health and well being of the people around us– not just an interest in their latest status update. Here is why this simple question is so powerful.

It forces us to let our guard down.

I know when I’m having a stressful day where I feel like my to-do list is a mile long and getting longer, I am too proud and too overwhelmed to stop and think of how someone else might help to lessen the load. From experience, when someone asks me “How can I help?” it’s such a welcome relief and feels just as good as a comforting hug.

It gives us a support system.

Asking this question is the most meaningful way in which you can express to someone that you’re there for them. It’s putting your money where your mouth is and actually offering to do something rather than simply saying “I’m here if you need something.”

It’s not condescending or judgmental.

The question “How can I help?” is simple, but perfectly phrased. Compare it to “Do you need help?” This variation can come across like a judgment that the person needs help for whatever it is they are going through. Give them the immediate acceptance of acknowledging it’s okay to need help and skip right to offering your hand. Especially if it’s an issue of pride, you won’t help the situation by first making them admit to needing help.

It eliminates our excuse to act like a martyr.

Most importantly, being asked “How can I help?” eliminates the temptation for us to feel sorry for ourselves and muddle in our own misery. Having someone standing in front of us with a hand to lift us up is the best way to make us grab a hold of our boot straps and pull them up high. Sometime we enjoy playing the martyr as a defense mechanism or because we want a reason to complain. This is neither healthy nor going to help us break the “bad day” cycle. Being asked “What can I do to help?” is a powerful way to make us stop feeling all alone and like no one cares – because someone does!

Who is someone you should ask “How can I help?” Reach out to them today and say these 4 simple words. Then share how the answer and the actions that resulted changed both of your lives!

~~~

The more credit you give away, the more will come back to you. The more you help others, the more they will want to help you.

Brian Tracy

~~~

A new mother goes upstairs to check on her napping infant. As she opens the door she see’s her husband sitting in front of the crib. He hasn’t noticed her yet so she slowly and quietly walks up to him. The new father is just staring at the baby in the crib, not saying a word, deep in thought. The mother looks and sees expressions of bewilderment, disbelief, and absolute pure joy on her husband’s face.

Dad finally notices his wife and says, “It’s amazing, isn’t it?”

Mother who, spent over 17 hours in labor without an epidural, says, “Yes dear, it’s just incredible,” as she wipes a tear of joy from her husband’s face.

He looks directly into her eyes and says, “Who’da thought ya could buy a crib this good for fifty bucks!”

~~~

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it. So I said “Implants?” She hit me.

~~~

There’s nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for my brother, and there’s nothing in the world he wouldn’t do for me. We spend our lives doing nothing for each other.

~~~

“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”

William James

~~~

Phil and Jill had been married for many years but now were in divorce court. The judge asked, “Phil, is it true that the last three years of your marriage, you did not speak to Jill?”

Phil replies, “Yes Judge, that is correct.”

“And how do you explain this unusual conduct?” the judge inquires.

Phil replies, “I didn’t want to interrupt her, Your Honor.  Momma always said that’s impolite!”

~~~

A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.

The Wizard to the Tin Man

~~~

You may have heard the old joke about Shirley, the Jewish mother in NYC, who brought her 6 year old boy to the psychoanalyst, who diagnosed: “Nothing much wrong with your son, just a slight Oedipus complex.

Said Shirley the mom… “Oedipus, schmedipus, the important thing is that he loves his mother”

~~~

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

Woody Allen

~~~~~~

“I don’t want to live in the kind of world where we don’t look out for each other. Not just the people that are close to us, but anybody who needs a helping hand. I can’t change the way anybody else thinks, or what they choose to do, but I can do my bit.”

Charles de Lint

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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