Ray's musings and humor

Simply enjoy life and the great pleasures that come with it.

Karolina Kurkova

! 00000 enjoy spring

One of the great things about spring where I live is that you don’t have to go far to enjoy the warmth and beauty of the season. It is not only the temperature and the visual richness of a landscape filled with color; it is also the people who relish all that spring has to offer.

The neighbor hoods are filled with laughing children and smiling adults. We dress in light and often colorful clothes as we wander enjoying each day. Spring is the antidote for the woes that often accompany a blustery late winter. Another of spring’s great pleasures for me is that we all equally get to enjoy what it offers. The size of our homes does not matter, the importance of our jobs is of little consequence and we don’t need a lot of money to bask in the most pleasant of environments, all we have to do is stop long enough to enjoy it all.

Here is a short story written by Harvey Mackay that I think offers some insight into those who know how to enjoy life.

How to Tell When You’re Rich

When I was a kid in Minnesota, watermelon was a delicacy. One of my father’s buddies, Bernie, was a prosperous fruit-and-vegetable wholesaler, who operated a warehouse in St. Paul. Every summer, when the first watermelons rolled in, Bernie would call. Dad and I would go to Bernie’s warehouse and take up our positions. We’d sit on the edge of the dock, feet dangling, and lean over, minimizing the volume of juice we were about to spill on ourselves.

Bernie would take his machete, crack our first watermelon, hand us both a big piece and sit down next to us. Then we’d bury our faces in watermelon, eating only the heart – the reddest, juiciest, firmest, most seed-free, most perfect part – and throw away the rest.

Bernie was my father’s idea of a rich man. I always thought it was because he was such a successful businessman. Years later, I realized that what my father admired about Bernie’s wealth was less its substance than its application. Bernie knew how to stop working, get together with friends and eat only the heart of the watermelon.

What I learned from Bernie is that being rich is a state of mind. Some of us, no matter how much money we have, will never be free enough to eat only the heart of the watermelon. Others are rich without ever being more than a paycheck ahead. If you don’t take the time to dangle your feet over the dock and chomp into life’s small pleasures, your career is probably overwhelming your life.

For many years, I forgot that lesson I’d learned as a kid on the loading dock. I was too busy making all the money I could. Well, I’ve relearned it. I hope I have time left to enjoy the accomplishments of others and to take pleasure in the day. That’s the heart of the watermelon. I have learned again to throw the rest away.

Finally, I am rich.

~~~

“We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.”

Bill Watterson

~~~

Mrs. Taylor, aka “The Whip”, asked her 5th grade history class, “When was Rome built?” and called on Timothy to answer first.

“Rome was built at night.” was his answer.

“At night?” asked Mrs. Taylor, holding her ruler firmly in her boney- knuckled hands.  “How ever did you get such an idea?”

“Well,” gulped the student, hoping his answer would satisfy her, “everyone knows Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

~~~

When my brother said, “Amen” after grace one night, one of his children asked what “amen” meant.  Before he or his wife could answer, their five-year-old responded, “It means “send.”

~~~

A professor stood before his class of twenty senior organic biology students, about to hand out the final exam. “I want to say that it’s been a pleasure teaching you this semester. I know you’ve all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a ‘B’ for the course.”

There was much rejoicing in the class as students got up, walked to the front of the class, and took the professor up on his offer. As the last taker left the room, the professor looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked, “Anyone else? This is your last chance.”

One final student rose up and opted out of the final. The professor closed the door and took attendance of those still remaining. “I’m glad to see you believe in yourselves,” he said. “You all get ‘A’s.”

~~~

My home church welcomes all denominations, but really prefers tens and twenties.

~~~

A blonde pushes her car into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, “What’s the story?” He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor.” She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”

~~~

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible.

George Burns

~~~

Little Johnny’s 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet.

“Johnny,” she says, “what comes after ‘O’?”

Johnny says, “Yeah!”

~~~

Is it my imagination, or do Buffalo wings taste like chicken?

~~~

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large”.

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, ” We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows”.

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, “And what are those”?

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas”?

~~~

“According to the latest findings from NASA, the planet mars has a high concentration of sulfur, acid, magnesium, and iron, causing it to give off the odor of rotten eggs. So basically mars is like the New Jersey turnpike in July.”

Jay Leno

~~~

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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