Ray's musings and humor

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

Helen Keller

 ! 00000 ice-cream-sundae

One thing I have learned as I have aged and that is that there is always plenty to do and plenty to see. I am still the same person I always was but my life’s content has changed. I now have time to do things I never thought I had time for in the past. I now often move in different circles that are filled with interesting people that I never met in previous years.

I also really enjoy the time spent together with old but younger friends as we enjoy each other’s company. I also get to do small tasks for organizations and people I never seemed to have time for before. I have found that no matter what your age there is plenty to enjoy if you will just stay loose and be ready for the ride.

A month or so ago a friend sent me the following I don’t think I shared it with you then so I will now. I am not 85 yet but will be in the not too distant future.

LUNCH WITH AN 85 YEAR OLD

One day I had lunch with some old friends.  Jim, a short, balding golfer type, about 85-years old, came along with them; all in all, it was a pleasant bunch. When the menus were presented, my friends and I ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups, except for Jim who said, “A large piece of home-made apple pie, heated please.” I wasn’t sure my ears heard him right, and the others were aghast, When Jim continued, completely unabashed….”along with two large scoops of vanilla ice cream.”

We tried to act quite nonchalant, as if people did this all the time, but when our orders were brought out, I didn’t enjoy eating mine. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Jim as I watched him savoring each bite of his pie a-la-mode. The other guys just grinned in disbelief as they silently ate their lunches.

The next time I went out to eat, I called Jim and invited him to join me. I lunched on a white meat tuna sandwich, while he ordered a chocolate parfait. Since I was chuckling, he wanted to know if he amused me. I answered, “Yes, you certainly do, but you also confuse me. How come you always order such rich desserts, while I feel like I must be sensible in my food choices?”

He laughed and said “I’m tasting all that is possible for me to taste.  I try to eat the food I need and do the things I should in order to stay healthy, but life’s too short, my friend. I hate missing out on something good. This year I realized how old I was. (He grinned)  I’ve never been this old before, so, while I’m still here, I’ve decided it’s time to try all those things that, for years, I’ve been ignoring.” He continued, “I haven’t smelled all the flowers yet. There are too many trout streams I haven’t fished. There’s more fudge sundaes to wolf down and kites to be flown overhead.

“There are too many golf courses I haven’t played. I’ve not laughed at all the jokes.  I’ve missed a lot of sporting events and potato chips and cokes. “I want to wade again in water and feel ocean spray on my face.  I want to sit in a country church once more and thank God for His grace. “I want peanut butter every day spread on my morning toast.  I want un-timed long distance calls to the one I love the most.

“I haven’t cried at all the movies yet, or walked in the morning rain.  I need to feel wind on my face. I want to be in love again. “So, if I choose to have dessert, instead of having dinner,  then should I die before night fall, I’d say I died a winner, because I missed out on nothing. I filled my heart’s desire.  I had that final piece of pie before my life expired.”

With that, I called the waitress over.. “I’ve changed my mind, ” I said. “I want what he’s having, only add some more whipped cream!”

…Be mindful that happiness isn’t based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people we like, respect, and enjoy spending time with. Remember that while money talks, ICE CREAM SINGS!

~~~

“The belief that youth is the happiest time of life is founded on a fallacy. The happiest person is the person who thinks the most interesting thoughts, and we grow happier as we grow older.”

William Phelps

~~~

Some Expert Definitions…

Seamstress……..The results of 200 lbs. stuffed into a size 6 dress

Toiletry……Where you go while on a wilderness camping trip

Yale………What southern cheerleaders do

Lite Year…..365 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it`s less filling

Half of a large intestine…….A semi-colon

~~~

There is nothing more beautiful than two young lovers steaming up a shower stall — something that’s obviously lost on that manager at Home Depot.

David O’Shea

~~~

A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell “before”.

He stands up and says, “Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.”

The teacher says, “No, that’s wrong. Can anyone else spell before?”

Another little boy stands up and says, “Before, B-E-F-O-O-R.”

Again the teacher says, “No, that’s wrong.” The teacher asks, “Johnny, can you spell ‘before’?”

Johnny stands up and says, “Before, B-E-F-O-R-E.”

“Excellent Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?”

Little Johnny says, “That’s easy. Two plus two be fore.”

~~~

“Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.”

Steven Wright

~~~

A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

  1. “Take it easy, Doc, you’re boldly going where no man has gone before.”
  2. “Find Amelia Earhart yet?”
  3. “Can you hear me NOW?”
  4. “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”
  5. “You know, in Arkansas, we’re now legally married.”
  6. “Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?”
  7. “You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey….”
  8. “Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!”
  9. “If your hand doesn’t fit, you must acquit!”
  10. “Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.” (and perhaps THE BEST ONE)
  11. “Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?”

~~~

I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.

George Burns

~~~

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be gods!

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… I must be a god!

~~~

I’ve learned…. That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

~~~

On my first day at the gas station, I watched a co-worker measure the level of gasoline in the underground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them. “What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?” I joked.

“It would go out,” he replied very matter-of-factly.

“Really?” I asked, surprised to hear that.  “Is there a safety device that would extinguish it before the fumes ignited?”

“No,” my co-worker continued.  “The force from the explosion would blow out the match.”

~~~

“Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.”

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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Comments on: "Order the ice cream once in a while" (1)

  1. Gotta love ice cream 🙂

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