Ray's musings and humor

Ah, Spring!

I sing of brooks, of blossoms, birds, and bowers:

Of April, May, of June, and July flowers.

I sing of Maypoles, Hock-carts, wassails, wakes,

Of bridegrooms, brides, and of their bridal cakes.

Robert Herrick

 ! 00000 spring-flowers-flowers

Instead of boarding the ship in Florida that was going to take me on a 10 day cruise today I am home recuperating. The good news is that I am home and not sick aboard ship. I hope you don’t mind that I am sending you another Daily reprint today. I should be back generating new Dailies next week. Have a great weekend!

Ray’s Daily first published on April 17, 2006

It seems like it was just the other day that I said goodbye to summer and sang the praises of autumn with its smells, brisk weather, and the chance to again wear my favorite sweater. I had only blinked my eyes and fall was gone and winter was upon us. And now April is here and flowers are in bloom everywhere; the grass has laid its sheet of green and the yellows, reds and purples marking springs advance stand out announcing that spring has returned. Windows are thrown open all around us and we hear hundreds of birds sing their songs of joy. And all around are people celebrating natures rebirth.

~~~

A little Madness in the Spring

Is wholesome even for the King.

Emily Dickinson

~~~

Let us follow Emily’s advice and let ourselves go. It is time to throw our troubles away for at least a little while so that we can bask in the warmth of the season. I am hanging up my jackets, putting away my sweaters and hollering to those who are about to begin their annual frolic; “wait for me.” Let’s run through the grass holding hands together with the spring rain in our face as we share our thanks for the gifts of Spring.

~~~

Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today;

And give us not to think so far away

As the uncertain harvest; keep us here

All simply in the springing of the year.

Robert Frost:

~~~

  1. SEUSS COMPUTES

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,

And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,

Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,

And your data is corrupted ’cause the index doesn’t hash,

Then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,

Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,

That’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss

So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,

Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

‘Cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy on the disk,

And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,

Then you have to flash your memory

and you’ll want to RAM your ROM.

Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

~~~

Take interest in your future. It’s where you’re going to spend the rest of your life.

~~~

A 50-ish man is driving on a slow highway in the middle of the night. He has a flat tire. He gets out of his car and is changing his tire, when out of the blue, another car pulls up behind him.

He thinks “That’s nice. Someone is stopping to help me.”

The guy gets out of his car, walks to the front of the other car and lifts the hood.

The owner says: “What the hell are you doing?”

The other guy replies: “Well, I see you’re stealing the tires, so I’m taking the damn battery!”

~~~

“If you don’t make mistakes it means you’re not really trying… and you’re probably boring too.”

~~~

Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, “After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, ‘If you don’t be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!’ It worked.”

~~~

Friendship is what binds the world together in peace, may we all become friends.

~~~

The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.

Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand.

“How did you manage to find it, Mom?” the teenager asked.

“We weren’t looking for the same thing,” she replied. “You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.”

~~~

“If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average.”

W.E. Hickson

~~~

Always remember.

The driver in front of you is always an idiot.

The driver in back of you is always a moron.

If there is a driver on your right, he/she is always stupid.

If there is a car on your left, the driver is always an imbecile until he/she finishes passing you and you can take that lane.

Then, he/she becomes an idiot.

~~~

“I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign: ‘This door is alarmed.’ I said to myself: ‘How do you think I feel?'”

Arnold Brown

~~~

Come, gentle Spring; ethereal Mildness, come!

James Thomson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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