Ray's musings and humor

Happy New Week

“Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them.”

! 0000 do what you love

I hope your weekend was as good as mine was. It sure was pleasant to have some leisurely days at home rather than in the hospital like last weekend. What made it even better was the balmy weather that replaced the artic blasts we have been experiencing lately.

It is now time for me to restart; my recent illness kept me down too long and I need to begin the rebuilding process at the YMCA. Unfortunately I cannot start my workouts until tomorrow as a new set of Doctors will remove a growth on my face this morning and then stitch me up so I will have the appropriate scar. At least I am continuing to finance the medical industry or at least, Medicare and my supplemental insurance is paying. If it were not for my insurance the hundreds of thousands in my medical costs over the last two years would have left my wife and I amongst the homeless.

One nice thing about the last few years is that it helps me appreciate what really is important in my life and it is not the accumulation of wealth or material things. It is so much more rewarding to count life’s many pleasures, both large and small, rather than one’s money. I have even decided to unload a lifetime of accumulated books and other things as I want to be ready to live a simpler life without the burden of deciding what to do with all my stuff.

Here is a story I may have shared with you before. It reminds me of the decision I made twenty-five years ago when I left a more lucrative computer industry position for an occupation that allowed me to help others find a better existence. I don’t know who wrote it, but whoever he was understands.

Enjoy your life at every moment

Once a fisherman was sitting near seashore, under the shadow of a tree smoking his beedi. Suddenly a rich businessman passing by approached him and enquired as to why he was sitting under a tree smoking and not working. To this the poor fisherman replied that he had caught enough fishes for the day.Hearing this the rich man got angry and said: Why don’t you catch more fishes instead of sitting in shadow wasting your time?

Fisherman asked: What would I do by catching more fishes?

Businessman: You could catch more fishes, sell them and earn more money, and buy a bigger boat.

Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could go fishing in deep waters and catch even more fishes and earn even more money.

Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could buy many boats and employ many people to work for you and earn even more money.

Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could become a rich businessman like me.

Fisherman: What would I do then?

Businessman: You could then enjoy your life peacefully.

Fisherman: Isn’t that what I am doing now?

Moral – You don’t need to wait for tomorrow to be happy and enjoy your life. You don’t even need to be more rich, more powerful to enjoy life. LIFE is at this moment, enjoy it fully. As some great men have said “My riches consist not in extent of my possessions but in the fewness of my wants”.

~~~

“Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you”

Nathaniel Hawthorne

~~~

MURPHY’S LAWS ON WORK

Everything can be filed under ‘miscellaneous.’

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over.

If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

~~~

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

James Francis Owens

~~~

She said:

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, “Mommy, you are getting fat!” I replied, “Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.” “I know,” she replied, “but what is growing in your butt?”

~~~

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

~~~

Two men sank into adjacent train seats after a long day in the city. One asked the other, “Your son go back to college yet?”

“Two days ago.”

“Hmm. Mine’s a senior this year, so it’s almost over. In May, he’ll be an engineer.”

“What’s your boy going to be when he gets out of college?”

“At the rate he’s going, I’d say he’ll be about thirty.”

“No, I mean what’s he taking in college?”

“He’s taking every penny I make.”

“Doesn’t he burn the midnight oil enough?”

“He doesn’t get in early enough to burn the midnight oil.”

“Well, has sending him to college done anything at all?”

“Sure has! It’s totally cured his mother of bragging about him!”

~~~

My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they’re just jealous because they don’t have pajamas with feet.

Tom Sims

~~~

The Perfect Pastor

The perfect pastor preaches exactly 10 minutes. He condemns sin roundly but never hurts anyone’s feelings. He works from 8 AM until midnight and is also the church janitor.

The perfect pastor makes $40 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $30 a week to the church. He is 29 years old and has 40 years experience. Above all, he is handsome.

The perfect pastor has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and he spends most of his time with the senior citizens. He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his church.

He makes 15 home visits a day and is always in his office to be handy when needed. The perfect pastor always has time for church council and all of its committees. He never misses the meeting of any church organization and is always busy evangelizing the unchurched.

The perfect pastor is always in the next church over!

If your pastor does not measure up, simply send this notice to six other churches that are tired of their pastor, too. Then bundle up your pastor and send him to the church at the top of the list. If everyone cooperates, in one week you will receive 1,643 pastors. One of them should be perfect. Have faith in this letter. One church broke the chain and got its old pastor back in less than three months.

~~~

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”

Stacey Charter

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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