In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
My great grandson continues to thrive and one of my granddaughters won more medals when she represented Brown University in a gymnastic meet the night before last. I will also continue my support of the medical industry when my Dermatologist does a biopsy and adds few facial stitches next Monday.
Sometimes I am surprised as I watch the daily parade go by, especially when I see myself in it. Lately I find that just standing on the sideline for a while has a lot of advantages. Later today I will visit my audiologist to see if we can sharpen my hearing so I don’t miss as much as I think I sometimes do.
You know even though aging is filled with tests and occasional setbacks there is always so much going on that not letting it get you down is rewarding.
A few years ago Wendy, one of our readers sent me the following that may help many of you learn what you have missed by not growing up when she and I did. Here is what she sent:
“Hey Dad,” one of my kids asked the other day, “What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?”
“We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,” I informed him. “All the food was slow.”
“C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?”
“It was a place called ‘at home,’” I explained. “Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.”
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was! Going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him! the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone’s lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.
I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called “pizza pie.” When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It’s still the best pizza I ever had.
We didn’t have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather’s Ford. He called it a “machine.” I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line. Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing. Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?
Life goes on… whether you choose to move on and take a chance in the unknown. Or stay behind, locked in the past, thinking of what could’ve been.
With all the new technology regarding fertility, A 65 year-old woman gave birth to a baby. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit. “May we see the new baby?” one asked. “Not yet,” said the 65 year-old mother, “Soon.” Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, “May we see the new baby now?” “Not yet,” said the mother.
After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, “May we see the baby now?” “No,” replied the mother. Growing very impatient, they asked, “Well, when CAN we see the baby?” “WHEN IT CRIES,” she told them. “WHEN IT CRIES??” they demanded. “Why do we have to wait until it CRIES??” “BECAUSE, I forgot where I put it…”
I went to a fancy French restaurant called “Deja Vu.” The headwaiter said, “Don’t I know you?”
She said: Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants’ restroom doors (Buoys and Gulls, Laddies and Lassies, etc.), but every so often we get stumped. Recently my husband Dave wandered off in search of the men’s room and found himself confronted by two marked doors. One was labeled “Bronco,” and the other was designated “Cactus.” Completely baffled, he stopped a restaurant employee passing by.
“Excuse me; I need to use the restroom,” Dave said. Gesturing toward the doors, he asked, “Which one should I use?”
“Actually, we would prefer you to go there,” the employee said, pointing to a door down the hall marked “Men.” “Bronco and Cactus are private dining rooms.”
“My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 1.99 cents a can. That’s almost $14.00 in dog money.”
A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench.
“Your Honor,” he said, ” I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I said ‘He’s a crook! He’s guilty, guilty, guilty’ So your Honor, I could not possibly stay on this jury!”
With a tired annoyance the judge replied, “Get back in the jury box. That man is his lawyer.”
Boycott shampoo… Demand REAL poo!
The Jackson police were searching for a man they suspected of a string of burglaries. They had six photographs of the man, all taken in different locations and from different angles. They sent fax copies of these pictures to police departments all over the country.
Several days later, Jackson received a fax report from the police chief in a small town in West Va. The memo read, “We immediately went to work on those six pictures you sent. We’ve arrested five of the suspects, and we have the sixth under observation right now.”
No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn’t work anyway
My co-worker is foreign and has trouble understanding some English phrases. She is a top sales executive in our company and is known for being very competitive. One day she was talking with a couple of employees, complaining about her job and how she felt mistreated. “Oh, be quiet,” said a colleague. “You know you’re queen bee at the office.”
“Oh, really?” she replied indignantly. “And who is Queen A?”
You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you are sad, love what you’re got and remember what you had. Always forgive but not forget, learn from your mistake but never regret, people change, things go wrong, just remember life goes on.
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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