Ray's musings and humor

It is never too late

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching”

Gerard Way

 ! 000 enjoy-life-now-this-is-not-a-rehearsal

I am at the age when I hear other folks who have lived long lives say that they wish they had done things in their life that they never tried. I try to remind everyone that life is not over until it is over and there is a lot to be said for having some bucket list plans. I know the later years in a lot of ways have given me the opportunity to enjoy more of my life than I did when I was primarily vocation focused.

If I could change anything I would have put together a bucket list in my twenties and then set aside some time each year to turn a bucket wish into a bucket reality. It seems like it takes us far too long to realize what is important in life, so my friends my advice is that you are never too old and say you are never too young to plan. Don’t just write down your dreams take action and turn some of them into reality.

Here is a story about a lady that I know I would have liked, I think you would too.

I Would Pick More Daisies

Don Herold

When the late Nadine Stair of Louisville, Kentucky, was 85 years old, she was asked what she would do if she had her life to live over again.

“I’d make more mistakes next time,” she said. “I’d relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been on this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.

“You see, I’m one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, and a raincoat. If I had to do it over again, I would travel lighter than I have.

“If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds and I would pick more daisies.”

~~~

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

More Gravestone Epitaphs

Alright, so I DON’T know anything about brake repair.

It’s downright cold down here.

C’mon, what are the odds of terrorism on a flight to such a peaceful place as Israel?

~~~

If winning isn’t important then why keep score?

~~~

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches & pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when, though no fault of yours, something goes wrong,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can ignore a friends limited education and never correct him/her,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, or politics,

Then, you are ALMOST as good as your dog..

~~~

She said:

Single women complain that all good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.

~~~

A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked in her ears and asked, “Do you think I’ll find Big Bird in here?  “The little girl stayed silent.

Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, “Do you think I’ll find the Cookie Monster down there?” Again, the little girl was silent.

Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest.  As he listened to her heart beat, he asked, “Do you think I’ll hear Barney in there?”  “Oh, no!” the little girl replied.

“Jesus is in my heart.  Barney’s on my underpants.”

~~~

My Wife Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips

~~~

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said one, “but I could never do anything with it.”

“Too much fancy work in it, eh?” asked the other.

“You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way:

‘Take a clean dish…'”

~~~

We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they’re still getting in!

~~~

A woman went into her kitchen to find a burglar loaded down with a bunch of stuff he was stealing from her kitchen. Not having any kind of weapon to scare him off, she raised her hand and said “Acts 2:38,” and proceeded to quote scripture.

The burglar froze in place and didn’t move. The woman called 911, the police arrived and were amazed to find the burglar still frozen where he stood. “What did you say to him that kept him from moving?” they asked the woman. She told them that she had simply said Acts 2:38 and quoted scripture.

The police chuckled and escorted the burglar out to the patrol car. “Why did the woman’s quoting scripture scare you so much?” they asked.

“Scripture?” said the burglar, “I thought she said she had an ax and two 38’s.

~~~

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to slide across the finish line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, and shouting GERONIMO!!!”

Bill McKenna

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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