“Comparison is the death of joy.”
You know what I like about us? We are all different and all special. Just think what our life would be like if all our friends and even strangers thought alike, behaved the same way we did and even looked like us. It would be awful. We should not regret our differences but appreciate them.
The worst thing we can do is to try to be the same as someone else; we should spend less time comparing ourselves with others because we think that they are more special than we are. I learned years ago that one of the keys to happiness is to be yourself while working on being who you want to be. I know I have told you before that I decided some time ago to tell folks that what you see in me is what I am and it is as good as I get. I’ll always strive to do the best I can and it is up to others to decide if it is enough but I will not attempt to change into being what someone else wants me to be.
If you heed the following advice you have an excellent chance of becoming your own best friend.
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (and Start Empowering Yourself)
by HENRIK EDBERG
One of the most common and destructive daily habit is to constantly compare your life and yourself to other people and their lives. You compare cars, houses, jobs, shoes, money, relationships, social popularity and so on. And at the end of the day you pummel your self-esteem to the ground and you create a lot of negative feelings within. And perhaps also outside of yourself.
So what can you do? How can you get a handle on this habit?
Well, today I’d like to share 3 steps that have helped me to move away from this – it does take some time though so be patient with yourself – and towards a healthier outlook and view of myself and life.
Just realize that you can’t win if you compare yourself to others.
Just consciously realizing this is helpful. No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are better than you at something. Yes, you may feel good for a while when you get a nicer car than your neighbor. But a week or two later you’ll see someone from the next block with an even finer car than yours.
Compare yourself to yourself.
Instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals. This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done. You feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people.
You can make this habit stick by for instance taking a few minutes each day or just each Sunday (or any day that fits you) to use a journal to write down how you have grown, how much closer you are to your goals now, what you have overcome and learned and so on. By doing so your thinking will over time shift and your thought patterns will automatically become more focused on comparing you to you rather than to other people.
Be kinder towards other people.
In my experience, the way you behave and think towards others seems to have a big, big effect on how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself. Judge and criticize people more and you tend to judge and criticize yourself more (often almost automatically). Be kinder to other people and help them and you tend to be kinder and more helpful to yourself.
So focus your mind on helping people and being kind. Focus on the positive things in yourself and in the people around you. And appreciate what is positive in yourself and others. This way you become more OK with yourself and the people in your world instead of ranking them and yourself and creating differences in your mind. You are OK and so are they.
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”
A Jewish girl brings her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. He invites the fiancé to his study for schnapps.
“So what are your plans?” the father asks the fiancé.
“I am a Torah scholar,” he replies.
“A Torah scholar,” the father says. “Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she’s accustomed to?”
“I will study,” the young man replies, “and God will provide for us.”
“And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?” asks the father.
“I will concentrate on my studies,” the young man replies, “God will provide for us.”
“And children?” asks the father. “How will you support children?”
“Don’t worry, sir, God will provide,” replies the fiancé.
The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the fiancé insists that God will provide.
Later, the mother asks, “How did it go?” The father answers, “He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I’m God.”
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
I have been unable to sleep since I was responsible for braking off your engagement to my daughter. Will you forgive and forget? Please?
I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tattoo and pierced nose. I now realize motorcycles aren’t really that dangerous at all, and I really should not have reacted that way to the fact that you have never-ever, held a job. Whatever possessed me?… I am truly sorry!
I am also very sure that some other very nice people live under the bridge in the park, too. Sure my daughter is only 18 and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on full scholarship. After all, you can’t learn everything about life from books now-a-days, can you? I sometimes forget how backward I can be. Boy, oh boy, I was sooo wrong. I was a fool. But, Marty, I have now come to my senses, and you now have my full blessing to marry my daughter. Go for it!
Your future father-in-law.
P.S. Congratulations on winning the lottery!
Take my advice, I’m not using it!
A little guy is sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, threateningly leering biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.
“Well, watcha’ gonna do about it?” he says menacingly, as the little guy bursts into tears. “Come on, man,” the biker says, ” I didn’t think you’d CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying.”
“This is the worst day of my life,” says the little guy. “I`m a complete failure. I was late to a meeting, and my Boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car stolen and I don’t have any insurance, I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener and then my dog bit me. “So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. “I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in, and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then a wise-ass like you shows up and drinks the whole thing!”
“The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.”
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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