Ray's musings and humor

We are all different – and we are all one. Take time to understand, and to appreciate.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 ! Intergeneration

They implanted a pacemaker in my wife’s chest yesterday to prevent another instance of a heart pause that would put her at risk of passing out, now a few more days in the hospital to work on the right dosage of arrhythmia medication and she will be back home. I am a little frazzled so back to the archives today.

 Ray’s Daily first published on January 21, 2004

Today I went to the barber for a haircut where the owner asked me if I was yet 62, a sure way to get a bigger tip. What is hard for me at my age is to realize most people don’t know what I am talking about when I talk about the past. Big movie stars of my era don’t exist in the minds of others; the list of disconnects could go on forever. It is no wonder that we sometimes have trouble with intergenerational communications, we grew up in a different environment, had different experiences, and different priorities. It seems to me that we all need to continue to work on finding the common ground rather than trying to live in each other’s world. Better to search for understanding with an open mind and to find what we have in common, not how we are different.

As an example I remember all of the following, do you?

    a.. The 1949 inaugural parade for President Harry Truman on this day was the first to be televised.

    b.. On this day in 1950, Alger Hiss was convicted on two counts of perjury for his testimony before congress in the McCarthy Era hearings.

    c.. George Orwell [Eric Arthur Blair], the author of Animal Farm and 1984, died on this day in 1950 from tuberculosis in London at 46.

    d.. On this day in 1954, the Nautilus, the first nuclear-powered submarine, was launched by the U.S. Navy, christened by First Lady Mamie Eisenhower.

    e.. William Shawn succeeded founder Harold Ross as the editor of the New Yorker on this day in 1956.

    f.. On this day in 1961, the U.S. sent a space monkey, “Miss Sam”, nine miles high aboard a Mercury rocket. The six pound monkey was successfully returned to Earth.

    g.. On this day in 1976, faster-than-sound commercial air travel became a reality as the French Concorde started plying between the U.S. and Europe. The Concorde, traveling at a speed of over 1000 miles per hour, could get to New York from Paris in 3.5 hours. Most commercial jets fly at a speed of 500-600 mph..

    h.. On his first full day in office in 1977, President Jimmy Carter issued an amnesty proclamation that covered most Vietnam draft-evaders.

~~~

Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again.

Andre Gide

~~~

The lawyer’s son wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, so he went to law school and graduated with honors. Then he went home to join his father’s firm. At the end of his first day at work, he rushed into his father’s office and said, “Father, father! In one day I broke the Smith case that you’ve been working on for so long!”

His father yelled, “You idiot! We’ve been living on the funding of that case for ten years!”

~~~

I have my standards. They may be low, but I have them.

Bette Midler

~~~

There once was a powerful Japanese emperor who needed a new chief samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world that he was searching for a chief. A year passed, and only three people applied for the very demanding position: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai.

The emperor asked the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai. The Japanese samurai opened a matchbox, and out popped a bumblebee. Whoosh! went his sword. The bumblebee dropped dead, chopped in half.

The emperor exclaimed, “That is very impressive!”

The emperor then issued the same challenge to the Chinese samurai, to come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen. The Chinese samurai also opened a matchbox and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh! The fly dropped dead, chopped into four small pieces.

The emperor exclaimed, “That is very impressive!”

Now the emperor turned to the Jewish samurai, and asked him to demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai. The Jewish Samurai opened a matchbox, and out flew a gnat. His flashing sword went Whoosh! But the gnat was still alive and flying around.

The emperor, obviously disappointed, said, “Very ambitious, but why is that gnat not dead?”

The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said, “Circumcision is not meant to kill.”

~~~

“The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.”

Doug Larson

~~~

As he lay on his deathbed he spoke, “Sara, I want you should know before I die that Ginsburg the tailor owes  me $200, and Morris the butcher owes me $50, and Klein next door owes me $300.”

His wife turned to the children and said, “What a wonderful man your father is. Even when he’s dying he’s got the brains to realize who owes him money.”

The old man continued, “And Sara I want you to also know that I owe the landlord a hundred dollars.”

To which his wife cried, “Oh oh, now he’s getting delirious!”

~~~

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

~~~

A very religious couple was touring the Holy Land during the Christmas season and decided it would be very meaningful to them to spend Christmas Eve in Bethlehem, the birth place of Jesus. Arriving there, they searched high and low for a room, but none was available at any price. Finally, they pulled up in front of the Sheraton-Bethlehem and the husband got out of the car, telling his wife: “Stay here, sweetie.

Let me see if I can do something  for us.” He approached the desk and the clerk told him there were no rooms. “Sorry, sir. It’s Christmas Eve, our busiest time.” No matter how much the man offered to pay, the clerk said he had nothing. Finally, the man told the clerk, “I bet if I told you my name was Joseph, that the woman waiting in the car was called Mary, and that she had a newborn infant, you’d find us a room.” “Well,” stammered the clerk, “I– I suppose so.” “Okay,” said the man. “I guarantee you, they’re not coming tonight, so we’ll take their room.”

~~~

“My doctor said I was paranoid… well, he didn’t actually say it, but I could tell he was thinking it.”

~~~

Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, “A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000.” There was a moment’s silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, “Two thousand five hundred!”

~~~

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

~~~

A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the sales clerk.

“Well … they feel a bit tight.” replies the man.

The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the mans feet. “Try pulling up on the tongue.” offers the clerk.

“Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth.” He says.

~~~

“How far you successfully go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.”

George Washington Carver

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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