Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
One of the things I have come to believe in is that no one can make me angry, I do have a choice and I realize that I don’t have to allow myself to get angry. I think it is especially demoralizing to see someone I care about get excessively upset over something we cannot change. Rainy days, slow traffic and other disappointments are part of everyone’s life and those who learn to adapt to circumstances have far less stress and a much happier existence.
I get concerned when someone gets mad for a real or perceived problem created by someone else. What is especially depressing is to see those whose actions become as bad, if not worse than the person they are upset with. I think too many of us excuse our anger because of what we say is the principle of the thing thus allowing ourselves to let the issue gnaw at our mind. I have a lot of respect for those people who are mature enough not to overreact to something that disturbs them.
Here is an edited article by Byron Pulsifer that asks about how we deal with difficult situations.
How Do You Respond
All of us meet hundreds of people during a lifetime and some of these people are memorable, some we really like, and some who seem to be forever in their own space most often ignoring or unaware of their own attitudes either consciously or unconsciously. And, for a lot of us, the actions, or reactions of these types of people can certainly annoy us or aggravate us and lead us to take their behaviors personally.
For example, how many times have you been driving to work when another motorist has cut you off, made a dangerous lane change without signaling, or nearly rear-ended you because they were tail gating you? I’m sure this has happened to you. How did you react?
Did you react emotionally by blowing your horn incessantly, speed up to catch them and give them a rude gesture, or did you just sit there boiling over? In other words, did you take this action by the other driver personally? Well, at one time or another, we have all probably felt this way and allowed this inconsiderate motorist to ruin the rest of your day. So, what have you done? You took their actions personally.
And, what about that colleague who is never wrong, and where you are never right? Is this kind of person telling you more about yourself, or are they really making an unconscious statement about who they are, and their own need for ego enhancement? Do not take his or her actions personally or you are allowing someone else to tell you who you are and what you are worth.
The message should be clear to all of us. We are human beings full of emotions and behaviors but we all have a choice to make our lives what we want; our perceptions and reactions can be controlled if we understand that there are hundreds of inputs everyday that call us to respond. How we respond is not dictated to us as if we are programmed to respond a certain way; we are not robots. Choose your reactions based on who you are not on some extraneous event or someone else’s needs.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit.
“This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter,” said one.
“No! He agreed to marry MY daughter,” said the other.
And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence. “Bring me my biggest sword,” said Solomon, “and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half.”
“Sounds good to me,” said the first lady.
But the other woman said, “Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman’s daughter marry him.”
The wise king did not hesitate a moment. “The attorney must marry the first lady’s daughter,” he proclaimed.
“But she was willing to hew him in two!” exclaimed the king’s court.
“Indeed,” said wise King Solomon. “That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law.”
You know in reality most people I know like their mother-in-law often getting along better with them since they are less likely to provide the regular counsel we get from our own Mom’s, I often wonder why they don’t realize that their children’s puberty ended while they were teens, not when they are in their sixties. – Ray
A pessimist is one who is seasick on the entire voyage of life.
A woman goes to her lawyer to ask about getting a divorce. The lawyer asks, “Does he beat you?”
“No, he does not.”
“Does he keep you short of money?”
“No, he does not.”
“Is he a perpetual drunkard?”
“No, he is not.”
“Is he unfaithful to you?”
“Ahhh, we’ve got him there. He was not the father of my last child.”
For people who like peace and quiet – a phoneless cord.
She tells me that the difference between her and I is:
When I get angry it’s because I’m ill-tempered…It just happens that her nerves are bothering her.
When I don’t like someone it’s because I’m prejudiced…She just happens to be a good judge of human nature.
When I compliment people it’s because I use flattery to get my way… She only encourages people.
When I take a long time to do a job it’s because I’m unbearably slow and pokey… She takes a long time because she believes in quality workmanship.
When I spend my paycheck in 24 hours, it’s because I’m a spendthrift… When she does, it’s because she’s generous.
When I stay in bed until 11 A.M., it’s because I’m a lazy good-for-nothing… When she stays in bed a little longer, it’s because she’s totally exhausted.
“It’s okay. I didn’t believe in reincarnation last time either.”
Two girls board a crowded bus and one of them whispers to the other, “Watch me embarrass a man into giving me his seat.” Pushing her way through the crowd, she turned all of her charms upon a gentleman who looked like he might embarrass easily. “My dear Mr. Wilson,” she gushed, “fancy meeting you here on the bus. Am I glad to see you! Why you’re almost a stranger. My, but I’m tired!”
The sedate gent looked up at the girl. He had never seen her before but he rose and said pleasantly, “Sit down, Mary, my girl. It isn’t often I see you on washday. No wonder you’re tired. Being pregnant isn’t easy. By the way, don’t deliver the wash until Thursday. My wife is going to the District Attorney’s office to see whether or not she can get your husband out of jail.”
Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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