Ray's musings and humor

Archive for September, 2014

OK, now is the time to be happy.

“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.”

John Lennon

 Be Happy

I hope you are staying as happy as I am. I am sometimes accused of being unrealistically happy, if I am I don’t care as I find deciding to be happy is a choice I am glad I make every day. How drab it must be for those who never smile and who are so often ignored because the express little joy.

I get up every morning expecting to have a good day, I expect to like everyone I meet and usually do, I will laugh some and smile often. Not because my world is much different than the world of those who just exist without being happy, it isn’t, it is because I have chosen to be happy. You can too. If you need help follow the advice below.


“Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds.

To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”

Christian D. Larson


“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.”

Dale Carnegie


TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

STUDENT: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: George!


Why are things typed up but written down?


The old Professor and his wife decided to visit an art gallery. Right on the first wall, they see a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The professor’s wife doesn’t like it and moves on, but naturally, the old professor keeps looking… She asks, “Well, what are you waiting for?” The old professor replies, “Autumn.”


A doctor examined a man, took the wife aside, and said, “I don’t like the looks of your husband at all.” “Me neither doc.” said the wife. “But he’s a good provider and really good with the kids.”


The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar. And then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times. “Now, said the teacher, “can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?”

A little girl in the back of the room raised her hand with great enthusiasm. “To make the gravy,” came her enthusiastic reply.


How can you tell which bottle contains the PMS medicine?

It’s the one with bite marks on the cap.


Alex, a widower, went to a dance at the Senior’s Center. There he met Ruth, a woman also in her golden years. Alex and Ruth danced every dance together.

Afterward, they went out for coffee. As they walked home, Ruth said, “You remind me of my fourth husband.”

“Really?” Alex replied, “How many times have you been married?”



The right thing to say usually comes to mind right after you’ve said the wrong thing.


10 Things You Never Hear in Church

  1. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew!
  2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
  3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
  4. I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
  5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
  6. Forget the denominational minimum salary. Let’s pay our pastor so he can live like we do.
  7. I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before!
  8. Since we’re all here, let’s start the service early.
  9. Pastor, we’d like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
  10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!


“When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.”

Molly McGee


After being on the phone forever with a customer who had been having difficulties with a computer program, a support technician at my company turned in his report:  “The problem resides between the keyboard and the chair.”


You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

Mae West


“You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?” asked the Judge.

“Yes,” answered the suspect.

“And what did you steal?”

“A dress, Your Honor,” replied the subject.

“One dress?” echoed the judge. “But you admit breaking in four times!”

“Yes, Your Honor,” sighed the suspect. “But three times my wife didn’t like the color.”


“Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get”

 W.P. Kinsella


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.


The world is a better place because they are in it.

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.

Ralph Waldo Emerson


I have had the good fortune during my numerous careers to meet many people, even movie stars, US and Foreign Leaders, non-profit and business CEO’s and hundreds of others. Most tended to be good people and most did good work. But you know what? The people who impress me the most are people like my friend Jo Ann who works for the Salvation Army, my Occupational Therapist friend Laura and others like them. They are my heroes because of their constant unselfish kindness.

I have been amazed by people like Laura and Jo Ann who even when things are tough in their lives continue to go out of their way for others. Their warmth and interest in the needs of others is inspiring to me and I know it is to others as well. After knowing them and a few others like them I have come to believe that that the most important and appreciated attribute an individual can have is kindness. Neither of my friends flaunts their kindness nor expects anything in return, but they get plenty in return, I have never heard anyone say something negative about them but I have often heard many praise their goodness.

Here are a couple of really short stories that I would like to share with you for they remind me of the friends I respect the most.

Kindness Story

I was in the drive thru at Starbucks about 7:15 a.m. this morning before going in to work. When I got to the window to get my beverage and pay, the young lady at the window said, “Merry Christmas! The women in the car in front of you paid for your beverage and wanted you to have a Happy Holiday.”

What an awesome random act of kindness. It has set the tone and mood for me all day. I can hardly wait to get a chance to do something to pay it back. I have shared this with everyone that will listen.


Under the Umbrella of Kindness

I was shopping and when I went to leave the store, it was raining so very, very hard that the rain was bouncing back up off the cement. I had an umbrella in my purse and spent the next half hour or so walking people to their cars as they truly would have been drenched otherwise. I ended up soaked to the knees but the people that I helped were so surprised and grateful, I think that maybe in similar circumstances they may do the same.

Actually, I try and carry out one act of kindness every day if the opportunity crosses my path and figure it makes the world a better place. I’m sure you agree.


Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you — not because they are nice, but because you are.

Author Unknown


“You Know You Work In Corporate America If:”

You’ve sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.

Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

The company logo on your badge is drawn on a post-it note.

When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.

You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

You learn about your layoff on CNN.

You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

It’s dark when you drive to and from work.

“Communication” is something your group is having problems with.

Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home from work.

Being sick is defined as can’t walk or you’re in the hospital.

You’re already late on the assignment you just got.

Your boss’ favorite lines are “when you get a few minutes,” “in your spare time,” “when you’re freed up,” and “I have an opportunity for you.”

Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.

The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.


The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.


While in Atlanta on vacation, Little Johnny’s Daddy took one afternoon to see historic sites downtown. Two young families were also in line to the see the sites. Little Johnny struck up a conversation with one of the boys in line.

“My name is Kilroy. What’s yours?” asked the first boy.


“My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Pop do for a living?” asked.

Little Johnny replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.”

“Honest?” asked Kilroy.

Johnny replied, “No, just the regular kind.”


Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.


Moshe and Miriam, a young orthodox married couple, were expecting their first baby. Unfortunately, Miriam’s water broke on Shabbos and they had no choice but to call for a taxi to take them to the hospital’s maternity ward. Because Moshe wanted to try and minimize the Shabbos violation, he told the dispatcher that he must send them only a non-Jewish driver. The taxi quickly arrived, but when Moshe and Miriam were getting in, they overheard the dispatcher on the two-way radio ask the driver, “Have you picked up the anti-semites yet?”


Why are you “in” a movie, but you’re “on” TV?


A father in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, makes a turn at a red light where it isn’t allowed.

“Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” the man said.

“That’s OK Dad,” the son says, “The police car right behind us did the same thing.”


“People will forget what you say, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”


Two men meet on the street. One asks the other: “Hi, how are you?”

The other replies: “I’m fine, thanks.”

“And how’s your son? Is he still unemployed?”

“Yes, he is. But he is meditating now.”

“Meditating? What’s that?”

“I don’t know. But it’s better than sitting around and doing nothing!”


Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.

Og Mandino


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.


So you want to be a leader!

Some people dream of success… while others wake up and work hard at it.

Author Unknown

! road-to-success1

I had breakfast last Saturday with one of our cities most respected leaders. He recently retired as the head of a major health organization but continues wearing many hats as he works to make our city a better place. We talked about how so many of our fellow citizens are an untapped resource who if motivated could make our city an even better place than it is. During our conversation he shared with me that he recently had met with a group of young college educated folks who complained that the older generation was not getting out of their way so that they could take on the leadership roles. I said that in my experience the best way to be selected to lead was to earn the role. My friend commented that it seemed like too many get out of college thinking they have the skills to lead others without putting in the time and effort that their predecessors have.

I have found over the years that it is the people who have participated in the activities of their organization at every level that learn what they need to know to lead others who succeed. They know what the organization is all about, how it works and most of all how valuable everyone in the organization is to its success. Over the years the best baseball players in the major leagues are those who sharpened their skills in the minors, life is like that, we need to go through our own development years honing our skills. And you know what − those are the folks who are asked to lead, they are asked because they earned the respect of those they will lead.

I like what David Crandall wrote in the forward to The Core: Foundational Truths for Learning Leadership Right Where You Are, he said:

In a culture that puts “me” first, we often fall prey to the belief that we should be leading while everyone else follows. We romanticize ideas of leadership based on books and movies, people we’ve known and heroes we’ve heard about. We mistakenly equate celebrity and rock-star status with leadership and seek to lead before we understand the basic skills necessary for the position.

We believe that we would be great leaders if given the opportunity. We seek to have the role of leader bestowed upon us believing that we possess the necessary skills adequate for the position.

Focus is all too often placed on the leader’s own success and not that of those they would seek to lead.

For this reason, the pursuit for leadership before gaining the necessary skills is a dangerous one. Finding oneself in a place of leadership before being able to competently lead others can be a devastating experience for the leader and the people following them. Without having first the mind of a follower, we will struggle with developing the mind of a leader. Worse yet, we will not likely have developed the skills necessary to make our followers successful.


You can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.

Napoleon Hill


A Mother’s Dictionary

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let de children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”


“God give me patience….And make it quick!”


Two friends met.  “You look sad, Fred, what’s the trouble?” asked the first friend.

“Domestic trouble.”

“But you always bragged that your wife is a pearl.”

“She still is.  It’s the mother-of-pearl that makes all the trouble.’


When I die, I want to go like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.


Melvin was playing football very badly. He tried to kick a goal and missed. Finally, He threw himself down on the bench and said in disgust, “Boy, I could just kick myself.”

The coach looked the other way. “Don’t bother,” he said, “you’d probably miss.”


Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?


A shepherd was herding his flocks in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie leaned out of the window and asked our shepherd: “If I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?”

The shepherd looks at the yuppie, then at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, “Sure!” The yuppie parks the car, whips out his notebook, connects it to a cell-phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet  where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system, scans the area, opens up a database and some 60 Excel spreadsheets with complex formulas.

Finally: he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech miniaturized printer, turns round to our shepherd and says: “You have here exactly 1586 sheep!”  “This is correct.  As agreed, you can take one of the sheep” says the  shepherd.  He watches the young man makes a selection and bundles it in his Cherokee.

Then the shepherd says: “If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me my sheep back?”  “Okay, why not” answers the young man. “You are a consultant” says the shepherd.  “This is correct” says the yuppie, “How did you guess that?”

“Easy”, answers the shepherd.  “You turn up here although nobody called you.  You want to be paid for the answer to a question I already knew the solution to, and you don’t know anything about my business because you took my dog.”


TEACHER: Max, use “defeat”, “defense”, and “detail” in a sentence.

MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail.


Three elderly people were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now.

“I would like my grandchildren to say, ‘He was successful in business,'” declared the first man.

“Fifty years from now,” said the second, “I want them to say, ‘He was a loyal family man.'” Turning to the third one, a lady, he asked, “So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?”

“Me?” the third one replied. “I want them to say, ‘She certainly looks good for her age.'”


That man is successful who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much, who has gained the respect of the intelligent men and the love of children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who leaves the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it; who looked for the best in others and gave the best he had.

Robert Louis Stevenson


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.



“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson


One of the things that gives me pleasure is the thoughts others share with me, especially those that provide the opportunity to focus on the good parts of life. As you know one of those I like best is Marc Chernoff. It is hard to be a follower if his writings without leaving motivated. A few years ago he shared an article where he included quotes that had meaning for him, they did for me too. Here are a few of his quotes that meant something to me as well.


Inspiring Quotes for Uninspiring Times

Your best music is still inside you. – The only way for us to have long-term happiness and success is to live by our highest principles, to consistently act in accordance with what we believe our life is in fact about.  That music you hear inside you motivating you to take risks and follow your dreams is your instinctive calling to the true purpose in your heart and mind.  Don’t ignore it.  Be enthusiastic about all that you do, and the possibilities that lie ahead.  Have the courage to pursue your calling.  Don’t die with your music still in you.

It’s never too late to be who you could have been. – It’s a matter of switching gears, never looking back, and BECOMING the person today that you always knew you were capable of being.  Entertain every thought, say every word, and make every decision from their point of view.  Walk the way they would walk, dress the way they would dress, and spend your free time the way they would spend theirs.  Choose the friends they would choose, eat the meals they would eat, and love and appreciate yourself the way they would.  These steps MUST come in order for there to be change.  But since this person is who you REALLY are deep down, that makes this task a bit easier.  You just have to STOP BEING WHO YOU AREN’T.

Challenges are simply opportunities. – When you encounter resistance, it means you are moving forward.  When you come across a challenge, it means you have reached an opportunity for growth.  Life becomes more rewarding as it becomes more demanding.  Each new challenge is an opportunity to stretch beyond your previous limits.  Most of the advantages you enjoy today were born in the difficulties through which you once traveled.  So revel in the beauty of each challenging effort.  Give your best to life, and life will return the favor many times over.

Tough times serve a purpose. – From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story – a story that says, “I learned and I survived.”  There are moments when troubles enter your life and you can do nothing to avoid them, but they are there for a reason.  Only when you have overcome them will you understand why they were there.  So be brave and press forward; you will not see the light at the end of the tunnel until you walk through the darkness.

Your opinion of YOU is what’s important. – Most of the good things you do will go unnoticed by others.  Do them anyway, because you will notice.  Many of the contributions you make will not be fully realized by others.  Make them anyway, because you realize they are the right things to do.  It’s great when you receive recognition for the things you do, yet even when there is no possibility of recognition, YOU still recognize the reasons you are putting forth the effort.  Your honest, authentic view of yourself influences all that you do.  And that view is formed mainly during times when no one is watching.  Your life is a living expression of who you know yourself to be, regardless of what others think or see.

It’s OK to let some people walk away. – You don’t have control over the things people say about you, but you do have control over how you decide to internalize it.  Leave people to their opinions and judgments.  Let them love you for who you are, and not for who they want you to be.  Or let them walk away if they choose. 

There’s a lot to appreciate in this moment. – Your journey will be much lighter and easier if you don’t try to carry your entire past and future around with you.  Take a break.  Let go of your obsession with yesterday’s struggles and tomorrow’s to-do list, and simply enjoy the beauty of what’s right here, right now.  Sometimes you have to stop thinking that some new richness will fulfill you, so you can fully experience the richness that’s already yours.


“If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.”

  1. Joseph Cossman


An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years.  The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said “yes”.

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn’t remember what her answer was! “Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny…” After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn’t remember her answer to the marriage proposal.

“Oh”, she said, “I’m so glad you called. I remembered saying ‘yes’ to someone, but I couldn’t remember who it was.”


“If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.”

David Carradine


One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town. Everywhere he saw evidences of the most amazing shooting.  On trees, on walls, and on fences there were numerous bull’s-eyes with the bullet hole in dead center.  The FBI man asked one of the townsmen if he could meet the person responsible for this wonderful marksmanship.  The man turned out to be the village idiot.

“This is the best marksmanship I have ever seen,” said the FBI man.  “How in the world do you do it?”

“Nothing to it,” said the guy.  “I shoot first and draw the circles afterward.”


Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?


He said : A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE warned me that, as my three daughters became old enough to date, I’d disapprove of every young man who took them out. When the time came, I was pleased that my friend’s prediction was wrong. Each boy was pleasant and well-mannered. Talking to my daughter Joanna one day, I said that I liked all the young men she and her sisters brought home.

“You know, Dad,” she replied, “we don’t show you everybody.”


“Reputation is character minus what you’ve been caught doing.”

Michael Iapoce


A group of Rabbis were having lunch in “Isaacs White House” kosher restaurant. Unfortunately, Isaac served them watermelon spiked with cherry vodka that he had prepared for another table and he realized his mistake too late to do anything about it. All Isaac could do was wait in his kitchen and expect the worst. As soon as the waiter came back into the kitchen with the empty plates, Isaac grabbed hold of him and asked, “What did they say, please tell me, what did they say?”

“Nothing at all, Mr Isaac,” replied the waiter. “They were all too busy cleaning up the watermelon seeds and putting them into their pockets.”


“I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.”

Winston Churchill


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.


I have made my choices

There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again.

Elizabeth Lawrence

 2nd childhood

Years ago I was told that in every adverse situation there is a positive opportunity. Last winter I suffered from congestive heart failure that put me in a comma and on life support for three days. Then this summer they found a different problem that required open heart surgery. All this triggered an opportunity to reassess my activities in order to put more balance in my life which will allow me to run less and enjoy more.

So I took my own advice, I inventoried my needs and wants, my pleasures and disappointments and I reviewed the things I had been doing to see if they made any difference. I took the information and started to work on my “rest-of-life” plan but before I got too far I stumbled across a plan worked out by someone else. I decided I would follow his lead with maybe a few modifications. Here is his plan:


My Resignation

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old.

I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer’s day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple; When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simple again. I don’t want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So… here’s my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.

And if you want to discuss this further, you’ll have to catch me first, cause…………..”Tag! You’re it.”


If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.

Tom Stoppard


What to Say to Telemarketers

  • The police photographer is still here, and the county medical examiner hasn’t released the body to the coroner yet. Can you call back a little later?
  • You called at the right time, buster. I’ll order carloads of whatever you got just to restore my credit rating. Those turkeys down at the bank go bananas over one little bounced check or two.
  • Well, you’ll have to send the stuff to my new address. As of next Wednesday, it’ll be care of the warden, maximum security wing, Attica Correction Facility, Attica, N.Y.
  • What’s that you say? Speak up, please, will you? The battery has run down on my hearing aid. Louder, please, louder. Is that the best you can do? I’m afraid we’re just not communicating.
  • I’m gonna have to put you on hold. The baby is due any minute now. Quick someone, get some hot water. Lots of it. Sorry, gotta hurry now, don’t go away.
  • Oh, it’s you again. I was hoping you’d call back. The better business people said I need more positive identification to file my complaint. Now first let me have your name and telephone number. Hello? Hello?
  • You better talk to my wife when she gets back from Reno. This place will be all hers then.
  • Excuse me, this nice police officer, here, said that I should inform you that my phone is being tapped. Now, what kind of drugs did you say you were selling?


I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully.


It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. “Is that a dog you got back there?”  he asked.

“It sure is,” I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, “What’d he do?”


I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

Elayne Boosler


A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.”

“And why not, darling?”

“You know that it always gives you a headache next morning.”


“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”

Lily Tomlin


Church  Football

Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Halftime – The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave

Benchwarmer – Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion – Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket – What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.

Two-minute Warning – The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay – The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.

Sudden Death – What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes “overtime”.

Trap – You’re called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run – Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense – The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option – The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

Blitz – The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.


A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “I can’t read, I can’t write – and they won’t let me talk!”


Six Jewish gentlemen were playing poker at the Condo Clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete the evening of playing standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks, “Who’s going to tell the wife?”

They draw straws. Goldberg, who is always a loser, draws the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any worse. “Gentlemen. ‘Discreet!’ I’m the most discreet man you will ever meet!  ‘Discreet’ is my middle name… Leave it to me.”

Goldberg walks over to the Meyerwitz apartment, knocks on the door. The wife answers, asks what he wants.Goldberg declares, “Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home!”

She hollers, “Tell him he should drop dead!”

Goldberg says, “I’ll tell him!”


He carried his childhood like a hurt warm bird held to his middle-aged breast.

Herbert Gold


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.


I am not as old as they say I am

“It`s not how old you are, it`s how you are old.”

Jules Renard


I would find it a lot easier forgetting how old I really am instead of how old my mind thinks I am if people would quit telling me. I just never really feel I am as old as my birth certificate says I am. Of course ignoring your real age is not always easy, there are too many reminders. My two daughters recent birthday’s made them a few years older than I was when I first retired. If that was not enough I got a call yesterday from a colleague I worked with more than fifty years ago and then I received a UPS delivery from American Express that was a gift celebrating my 50 years as an American Express member.

I think the secret of my graceful aging is a short memory. Here are excerpts from an article I got from the Heart of Healing blog that I like; I think it is never too soon to start to enjoy aging.


Aging Gracefully

More often than not, aging is viewed as something to be fought off for as long as possible. Regardless of how liberated we’ve become, many women and men still experience aging as a threat to their sense of self-worth and quality of life. It is pretty much expected that middle age will bring a “crisis” and far too often we hear seniors lament that “I thought these were supposed to be the golden years.” Whole industries are built on the attempt to stay young – from hair colors to face lifts to Viagra.

There is a place for all of these things, of course, but if your reaction to the aging process has you racing to beat time, I’d like to ask you to take a deep breath, relax, and give yourself some space to shift into a different perspective on aging. What if aging were equated with getting better rather than worse? What if you lived in a culture which reveres the elderly and views them as a repository of power and wisdom? Since how we age has so much to do with our attitudes and beliefs, such a shift in perspective could make a world of difference.

Aging Well in the Culture of Youth

To age “gracefully” in a culture which idolizes youth requires inner strength and wisdom. Hopefully we can ask questions together about our common notions and experiences with aging, so that we can not only do away with some myths about aging which limit our quality of life, but also discover some of the “perks” of aging that we often ignore. There are lots of role models who have led the way for us. Did you know, for example, that:

Martha Graham danced professionally until she was 76?

Benjamin Franklin invented bifocals at the age of 78?

Georgia O’Keefe continued painting well into her 90s?

Vitality in “later life” is not just for the famous. Undoubtedly everyone knows at least one person who is living a vital, fulfilling life “despite” their age. This is really the way it should be – life should become better as we age.

Two Basic Requirements of Graceful Aging

What I’ve discovered is that there are two “basic requirements” of graceful aging. To borrow from the “Serenity Prayer”, graceful aging requires the “serenity to accept the things we cannot change; courage to change the things we can; and wisdom to know the difference.”  Certainly acceptance of aging is a key to aging gracefully – but which of the changes that commonly come with age are the “things we cannot change” and which are the “things we can change?”

What You Can and Cannot Change — Importance of Relaxation

The bottom line, as I see it, is the ability to relax with whatever challenges us at any given time and that includes the changes aging brings. When we are relaxed, we are open to different ways of looking at things.

What We Can Change — The Role of Attitude and Lifestyle

It’s been discovered that attitude has an enormous role in how we age. Much of the decline that people experience with aging comes about due to the belief that decline in function and quality of life is part and parcel of aging. It’s never too late to change the two most important ingredients to graceful aging – attitude and lifestyle.

The appearance and function of our body changes and requires that we adapt. Our roles change dramatically as our children grow older and leave home, and we become grandparents rather than parents. At some point, many of us become parents to our parents as they enter their final years.

Finally, graceful aging means finding a balance between acceptance of the inevitability of aging and doing what we can to remain vital and healthy as long as possible. Once again, we emphasize the importance of relaxing. Acceptance involves relaxation into life and the ability to flow with change. When we are relaxed, we stop fighting the inevitable. At the same time, relaxation is a key to better health and greater vitality.


To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent – that is to triumph over old age.

Thomas Bailey Aldrich



“New Medications For Women”

S t  M o m ‘s  W o r t – Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

E m p t y N e s t r o g e n – Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out.

F l i p i t o r – Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

B u y a g r a – Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

J a c k A s s p i r i n – Relieves the headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.


A headstone in a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery reads: Here lays The Kid. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger but slow on the draw.


The Reverend said: I was called to the nursing Home to perform a wedding. An anxious old man met me at the door. I sat down to counsel the old man and asked several questions. “Do you love her?” The old man replied, “Nope.”

“Is she a good Christian woman?” “I don’t know for sure,” the old man answered.

“Does she have lots of money?” I asked the old man. “I doubt it.”

“Then why are you marrying her?” I asked. “Cause she can drive at night,” the old man said.


“Life is a long lesson in humility.”

Sir James M. Barrie


Mrs. Broomfield’s dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. He couldn’t accommodate her with an evening appointment, and since she had to go to work the next day, she told him: “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you the check. By the way, don’t worry about my Rottweiler. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!”

When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Broomfield’s apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen. But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business.

However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant squawking and talking. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up, would you just shut up you stupid bird!”

The parrot sat quietly for a moment, and then replied: “Sic him, Brutus!”


I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming… suddenly you find – at the age of 50, say – that a whole new life has opened before you.

Agatha Christie


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.


Have you been on the yellow brick road?

Happiness is a journey, not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it’s too late. The time for happiness is today not tomorrow.

Paul H Dunn


We have talked a lot lately about choosing to be happy. For some it appears that working towards a happy life seems to be a difficult task that they are afraid to undertake. For me the key has always been to put your human values ahead of your material wants.

I know if we have been living the same way all our lives it is not easy to refocus so that we can follow the yellow brick road to some personal rewards, rewards that come from living the life many only dream about. I excerpted the following from an article on the Personal Development Blog, it may help some chart a path to where they would like to be.

Recipe for Happiness – Do You Have One?

How to Be Happy – the Ingredients


Essential ingredients in the recipe for happiness came to light by pressing a few questions:

What is happiness?

What is authentic happiness?

Is the pursuit of happiness fruitful?

Are there basic steps on how to be happy?

The answers were forthcoming:

Happiness is a state of being… being in the flow

Authentic happiness rests with me

The pursuit of happiness ends with me

The way to be happy is to nurture yourself and live the version of myself that I love…

And once you see that, you are ready to put your recipe together!

Mixing Your Recipe for Happiness

The main ingredients are the very ingredients that you love in yourself. To identify these and make them work in your mix, think of the positive forces that drive you in life and that make your heart sing.

  1. Start by finding your passions and then making sure you give those expressions in your life
  2. Determine your life purpose and honor your unique calling
  3. Identify your personal core values, and sift those thoroughly with your priorities. Your values and priorities are your spices, and you’ll sprinkle them through every day
  4. Whisk in your eager self motivation. This ensures that everything gets mixed together as it needs to and very nicely fuels your personal mission development
  5. Your self-empowerment will naturally be strengthening and causing your mix to rise

Use Your Happy Spices Generously

In the personal development articles on how to be happy, it’s pointed out that consciously living in line with your personal core values is an important key to happiness. So it’s obviously a primary ingredient in your recipe for happiness. I call your values your happy spices because it’s so easy to sprinkle them throughout your days for wonderful results.

For example, if Giving/Contribution is one of your top personal core values, then you definitely want to express it every day to further cultivate your authentic happiness.

Here are some simple ideas on how to easily activate core values every day, and keep your happiness quotient filled to overflowing:


Talk to a lonely elderly person when you have the opportunity

Help a child with a task, to play a game, or read a book

Help a co-worker, or make them a cuppa at tea time

Live up to your word. Your self-esteem, confidence, and self-satisfaction will also grow when you see yourself doing what you say you will.

Cooperation Ask others their opinion, then listen to their answer (!?:), and discuss a way that may enhance the situation.

When someone asks you to do something, immediately think of 3 reasons it may benefit you and others, before you respond.


Take time to be friendly, It is the road to happiness. Take time to love and be loved, it is a privilege of the Gods. Take time to share, life is too short to be selfish.

Senora Roy


A college dean was berating a veteran economics professor for having used the same tests for the past 35 years.

“Don’t you realize, professor, that the students have been sharing these tests for decades and that all of your students know EXACTLY what’s on the test before they sit for it?”

“Doesn’t matter,” replied the professor. “You must realize that the subject is economics. The answers are different each year!”


“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.”

Rita Rudner


Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise early the following morning, Mr. Smith left a note on his wife’s bedside table that said, “Wake me at six.”

An exasperated Mr. Smith awoke at ten the following morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table: “It’s six, you bum! Get out of bed!”


Sign on a repair shop door:



TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

VINCENT: One dollar.

TEACHER: (sadly) You don’t know your arithmetic.

VINCENT: (sadly) You don’t know my father.


I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

Lady Nancy Astor


A young man was sitting in class when the professor asked him if he knew what the Roe vs. Wade decision was. He sat quietly, pondering this profound question. Finally, after giving it a lot of thought, he sighed and said,  “I  think this was the decision George Washington made prior to crossing the Delaware.”


Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

Margaret Young


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.


Want to live a happy life?

“In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.”

Gordon B. Hinckley


If you are like I am you delight in being around people who always seem to be pleasant and generally happy. Their positive outlook on life is contagious and I always leave my time with them feeling good. The thing that they same to have in common is their ability to focus on finding pleasure in what they see and what they do.

I have learned that seeing the positives in our daily activities and developing a habit of appreciating what we have is the secret of living a happy life. Have you noticed that the grouches never seem to have time to appreciate what they have, they are too busy complaining about what they don’t have. Even the rain gives us flowers and rainbows so I am glad when it storms once in a while and those are great days to sit by the fireplace and read.

Here is an article written by Peter Clemens a number of years ago where he shares his tips for living a happy life.


How to Enjoy Life

I want to challenge the common perception that it is only possible to enjoy your leisure time. In particular, this article is targeted at the professional stuck in the 9 to 5 grind who longs for the weekend and, in the process, has given up on trying to find pleasure in the ordinary experiences we have every day.

Appreciate Beauty. Each day we come across beauty in a number of shapes and forms. It’s a shame, then, that many people have become so accustomed to this beauty that it largely goes unappreciated. I suggest looking again at the people, plants, gadgets, and buildings (to name but a few examples) around you and taking a moment to appreciate what makes them so special.

Connect With Nature. Nature is an amazing healer for the stresses and strains of modern life. Eating lunch in the park, attending to a vegetable garden in your backyard, or watching the sunset are just a few simple ideas for how you can enjoy the outdoors on a daily basis.

Laugh. E. E. Cummings once said “the most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” How very true. Never be too busy to laugh, or too serious to smile. Instead, surround yourself with fun people and don’t get caught up in your own sense of importance.

Have Simple Pleasures. A good cup of coffee when I first wake. Time spent playing with my 8 month old son. Cooking a nice meal in the evening. These may not seem terribly exciting, but they are some of the simple pleasures I enjoy in life. If you slow down for just a moment and take the time to appreciate these ordinary events, life becomes instantly more enjoyable.

Connect With People. In so many ways, it is our relationships with people that give us the most happiness in life. Perhaps, then, the best way to enjoy your work more is not to get a raise or a promotion, but rather to build rewarding relationships with your co-workers.

Learn. There is a strong link between learning and happiness. Given this, there is no excuse not to be stimulating your brain and learning something new each day. My favorite way to find time for learning is to make the most of the commute to and from work. Audiobooks and podcasts are great for this purpose.

Rethink Your Mornings and Evenings. Are the mornings a mad rush for you to get out the door? Do you switch off the TV at night and go straight to bed? I have personally experienced the profound benefits of establishing a routine in the morning and evening. For example, in the morning you may choose to wake an hour earlier and spend the time working on yourself, whether it be reading, writing or exercising. In the evening, consider spending some time just before bed reviewing your day or in meditation.

Celebrate Your Successes. During a normal day we are sure to have some minor successes. Perhaps you have successfully dealt with a difficult customer, made a sale, or received a nice compliment for your work. These aren’t events worth throwing a party for, but why not take a moment to celebrate your success? Share the experience with someone else, reward yourself with a nice lunch, or just give yourself a mental pat on the back.


Discipline your mind to think positively; to see the good in every situation and look on the best side of every event.

Roy Bennett


After the church service, a little boy told the pastor, “When I grow up, I’m going to give you some  money.”

“Well, thank you,” the pastor replied, “but why?”

“Because my daddy says you’re one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had.”


Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster


The woman was always frequenting small antique shops, but regardless of what she saw there, she always complained about something.  The quality was poor, the prices too high, or the selection was limited.

The shop owners took it in stride, but one day, while ranting and raving, she yelled at the clerk, “Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?”

The clerk simply smiled and replied, “Possibly, ma’am, because we’re too polite.”


“Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.”

Gene Hill


While teaching children about world religions, a teacher asked her students to bring a symbol of their family’s faith to class. The next day, she asked each student to come forward and share the symbol with the class.

The 1st child said, “I’m Muslim, and this is my prayer rug.”

The 2nd child said, “I’m Jewish, and this is my family’s menorah.”

The 3rd child said, “I’m Roman Catholic, and this is my Mom’s rosary.”

The 4th child said, “I’m Greek Orthodox, and this is an icon of my patron saint.”

The 5th child said, “I’m Southern Baptist, and this is my casserole dish.”


TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have 10 years ago.



My daughter-in-law, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth.  Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered.

Her response:  “Just meet me in the parking lot!”


I know so little that it astonishes me how many people know even less.


My phone bill was past due and I needed to change my service, so I had to visit the local office. The line wasn’t clearly formed, and there was an old man with a cane nearby me. It was unclear as to who was next.

When we got to the front of the line, the man gestured to me and said, “After you.”

I smiled at him and said, “No, please, after you. I have all day.”

The he said, “No. You go ahead. My doctor says I have at least six months.”


Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.

Eddie Cantor


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.


Do you know what is important?

The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.

Stephen Covey


I have found there are two different retirement life styles, one is lived by folks with too little to do and the other is lived by folks with too much to do. In my circles I meet mostly people with too much to do and they find that the overload is often too much to handle. In reality many of us are so busy running that we never take time to stop and think about how we can lighten the load. I have found the key is to accept the roles that you like and that you can do and reject the others. Recently I read an article penned by Marc Chernoff that I feel is right on, what do you think? NOTE: I have made some edits in order to fit the Daily.


Ways Happy People Prioritize Their To-Do Lists

“What can I start doing today to make my life happier and more fulfilling?” What becomes evident is that, to sustain happiness, we must focus our attention on the right things, in the right ways.  Every growing human being (that means all of us) has resource constraints: limited time and energy.  It is critical that we spend our resources effectively.

Here are 10 ways to prioritize your life and your to-do lists for increased happiness and fulfillment:

  1. One thing at a time, with full presence. – In other words, make the thing you have chosen to do the number one priority while you’re doing it. Focus with your full attention.  See the value in where you are, while you’re there.  Enjoy what’s happening, while it’s happening.
  • In the end, you will come to realize that the best days are the days when you don’t need anything extreme or special to happen to make you smile.  You simply appreciate the moments and feel gratitude, seeking nothing else, nothing more.  That is what true happiness is all about.
  1. Family and close friends are at the top. – Nurture your important relationships in such a way that when you tell the people you care about that you care about them, you’re simply reinforcing what they already know based on how you have prioritized them into your life. Give them your full attention. Let them see their own beauty in your eyes.  Let them find their own voice through your listening ears.  Help them discover their own greatness in your presence.
  2. Focus on importance, not urgency. – As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said, “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” Sadly, most of us spend too much time on urgent things and not enough time on important things.
  • Think about the difference between what is urgent and what is important.
  • Review all the obligations on your list.
  • Do what’s important first.
  1. Keep your efforts aligned with your purpose. – Getting anything worthwhile done is a matter of connecting with why you have chosen to do this thing in the first place. Don’t allow others to confuse you. Don’t let them convince your heart what is right for you.  Your heart already knows.  Listen to it. 
  2. Play to your strengths and delegate when it makes sense. – When it comes to tackling big projects, you can try to do everything yourself, or you can reach out and find the right people to help you. The first choice will raise your stress and blood pressure; the second choice will raise your consciousness and effectiveness.
  3. Socialize and share with peers. Regardless of what you’re trying to accomplish, it’s always easier if you have a group of people who understand what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and what challenges you’re facing. Staying in touch with these people and sharing ideas with them will accelerate your effectiveness and happiness
  4. Give what you can, as you seek what you desire. – In many ways, life is a circle – what you put in to it comes back around. When you make a positive impact in the world, the world will have a positive impact on you.
  5. Leave the past behind as you plan ahead. – Let old problems remain where they belong – in the past. No matter how many times you revisit the past, there’s nothing new to see.  Don’t let what once happened get in the way of what is happening.
  6. Commit to self-respect, regardless of the issue at hand. – Whenever you catch yourself in a rambling bout of negative self-talk, stop and ask yourself, “If I had a friend who spoke to me in the same way that I sometimes speak to myself, how long would I allow this person to be my friend?”
  7. Leave room to breathe. Things don’t always go as planned. Good things can’t always be planned.  Be flexible and open to life’s twists and turns.Organize, but don’t agonize.  Keep your space and time ordered, but your schedule underbooked.  Create a foundation with a soft place to land, a wide margin of error, and room to think and breathe…


Like it or not, the world evolves, priorities change and so do you.

Marilu Henner


Jack’s grandfather left him ten million dollars, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him.

After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more. On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other men’s names! Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men. Finally, he decided to confront her.

“Diane,” he said, “The only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me ten million dollars when he died”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she replied, “I don’t care who gave you the money!”


Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Franklin P. Jones


A man is asked by his friend, “Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?”

“Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector,” the man replies.

To which his friend responds, “Strange ambition to have for a career…”

“Yes, I suppose, but he thinks garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!”


“The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.”

Henry Kissinger


I was at the store the other day when the manager nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office when the shoplifter broke away and tried to run. After a scuffle, the manager pinned the guy against the wall. He looked up to see a number of surprised customers staring at him.

“It’s ok, folks, everything’s fine,” he reassured them.

“This guy just tried going through the express line with more than nine items.”


An official sign seen near a door: “Door Alarmed” Hand printed sign nearby: “Window frightened”


When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars.  Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, “How will we keep from getting separated?”

“We’ll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other,” I reassured him.

“Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?” he persisted.

“Well, then I guess we’ll never see each other again,” I quipped.

“Okay,” he said.  “I’m riding with Mom.”


Science may never come up with a better office communications system than the coffee break

Earl Wilson


Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, “A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000.”

There was a moment’s silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, “Two thousand five hundred!”


“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.


Ah, Sweet September

“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.”

Albert Camus

 autumn (2)

OK, it is September already and we are on the threshold of autumn in my part of the world. We leave a mild spring like summer behind and move a place where temperatures are cool and nature starts to paint the landscape with fall colors. The kids are back in school, things are getting serious in the work places and there live theatre season is moving into high gear.

I hope that the season will linger a little longer than spring and summer did as they seemed to fly by. Let me wear my sweaters, sleep with open windows and enjoy the alive felling that comes from venturing out into a brisk morning. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I will.

I decided I would check to see what else was special about September in my country. For example did you know it is:


  • All American Breakfast Month – Does this mean I can’t have French toast this month?
  • Atrial Fibrillation Month – If you don’t mind I’ll skip this one, my two heart ablations and my medications have kept me A-Fib free.
  • Be Kind To Editors & Writers Month – Please do, the way newspapers have been shutting down they need our sympathy.
  • Eat Chicken Month − I have to, can’t afford beef.
  • International People Skills Month Let’s talk.
  • National Prime Beef Month – Is there still such a thing?
  • One-on-One Month – I am one are you one too?
  • Pleasure Your Mate Month – Take your wife to a mall.
  • September Is Healthy Aging Month – I did not know I was only supposed to do it one month of the year.
  • Shameless Promotion Month – I would never do this I am too special and humble.
  • Subliminal Communications Month – What did you think of my hidden message?
  • Superior Relationships Month – Do your bit, stamp out inferior relationships.


“Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale.”

Lauren DeStefano


From the old Hollywood Squares:

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q: What are “Do It”, “I Can Help” and “Can’t Get it.”?

A: George Gobel: I don’t know but it’s come from the next apartment.

Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?

A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget!

Q: Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?

A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.


Sign on a ski lift in Taos, NM: “No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.”


A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.  What are you doing?” She asked.

Hunting Flies” He responded. “Oh. Killing any?” She asked.

Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked.

“How can you tell?”

He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”


“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”

Calvin Trillin


On the way back to Indiana as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight to Vegas was full.  The airline were looking for volunteers to give up their seats.

In exchange, they’d give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later.  About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer.

About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter said, “If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who’d like to volunteer, please step forward .  .


Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?


A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?”

She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”

“No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?”

“It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,” she responded.

“I mean,” he continued, “What are your relations like?”

“I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.”

He said, “Do you have a real grudge?”

“No,” she replied, “We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.”

“Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?”

“Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.”

“Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?”

“Yes,” she responded, “about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.”

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why do you want a divorce?”

“Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can’t communicate with me!!


Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.

John Muir


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

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