Ray's musings and humor

Note: Ray is going on special assignment for a week or so.

The daily will resume publication when he returns.

 

Today is all you, you will never get this day back, so give it all you got, be all you can be and have fun just being.

Ricardo Housham

have fun

I will have to suspend publication for a bit while I participate in a character building exercise, we’ll see if that works since little has in the past. If you have nothing better to do while I am away there is more than 1750 back issues of Ray’s Daily available at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ that you can critique.

I was working on a checklist for you to work on while I was gone but it I decided that it was unfair to assign you the responsibility to negotiate a permanent peace in the Middle East and find a solution to the climate change problems so instead please stay well and have fun while I am gone.

 

Here’s a some ideas I got from the WiseBread site to help free you from boredom without emptying your wallet this weekend.

  • Go to the Park – You can take your family or go with a friend. Swing on the swings like when you were a kid.
  • Watch the Sunset – Find a great spot in your community to catch the sunset. We have a lake by our house that offers some great views!
  • Play Board Games – Bring out the old favorites like Monopoly or Scrabble, or find new board games to play.
  • Throw a B.Y.O.E. Party – This stands of Bring Your Own Everything. Guests are encouraged to bring food and drinks to share.
  • Make a Romantic Dinner – Plan a romantic, candlelight dinner for your spouse or loved one.
  • Pretend You’re a Tourist in Your Community – Most folks rarely visit their own city’s tourist attractions. Take a weekend be a tourist in your own town.
  • Go to the Farmers Market –
  • Communities will usually have farmers markets on the weekends where you can get locally grown produce. The food is fresh and delicious!
  • Invite Your Neighbors Over – With today’s busy pace, it seems harder to get to know our neighbors. Invite them over for dinner or dessert and make an effort to know more about them.
  • Write Out Your Bucket List and Pick One to Do – Brainstorm ideas for all the things you want to do in life, and pick one to do this weekend.
  • Find a Community Play to Attend – Many local communities offer inexpensive theater productions.
  • Write a Letter to a Family Member You Haven’t Talked to in a While – When is the last time you sat down and wrote a letter? There’s something magical and nostalgic about the written word on paper. Send a letter to someone you haven’t talked to in a while and tell them how much you love them.

~~~

I realize that humor isn’t for everyone. It’s only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive.

Anne Wilson Schaef

~~~

Becky is having lunch with Hannah.

Becky says, “My Morris is just impossible. Absolutely nothing pleases him. Tell me, Hannah, is your Harold hard to please?”

Hannah shrugs and replies, “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never tried.”

~~~

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. It could be a right number.

~~~

The lady lawyer approached the jury box and began an eloquent plea for her client: “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I want to tell you about this man.  There’s so much to say that is good: he never beat his mother; he was always kind to little children; he never did a dishonest thing in his life; he has always lived by the golden rule; he is a model of everything decent, forthright, and honest.

Everyone loves him and. . . ”

Her client leaned over to a friend and said, “How do like that bitch?  I pay her good dough to defend me, and she’s telling the jury about some other guy.”

~~~

“Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.”

Laurence J. Peter

~~~

My friend, Mike, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front of the store (near the cash registers), when the shoplifter broke from his grip and tried to run.

After a scuffle, Mike pinned him against the wall and looked up to see a number of surprised customers staring at him.

“Everything’s fine, folks,” he reassured them…

“This guy just tried to go through the express line with more than ten items.”

~~~

There is no right way to do a wrong thing.

~~~

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service,

“And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”

One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

~~~

One reason it’s so hard to save money is that our neighbors are always buying something we can’t afford

~~~

Sam Tinkleman sat on the examining table in the office of Dr. Rosenstein, the world-famous urologist.

“My trouble,” said Tinkleman, “is that I can’t pee.”

“How old are you?” asked the doctor.

Tinkleman said, “I’m one hundred and three.”

“Well,” said Rosenstein, “you peed enough!”

~~~

Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.

~~~

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged.

However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.’

~~~

“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”

Anthony Robbins

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: