Ray's musings and humor

Spring has returned. The Earth is like a child that knows poems.

Rainer Maria Rilke

 spring

Easter is behind us. The Lenten fasting is over and in my part of the world spring has sprung in a big way. The sun has brought us coatless weather and so much more. Our grass has turned a vivid green and spring flowers have blanked the area with the first of the season’s brilliant colors. Our trees are sprouting buds, flowers, and leaves providing lovely homes for hundreds of song birds.

Yes it is great to be able to bask in pleasant weather after a severe winter. Now our choice is to set back and lazily relax or let nature’s rejuvenation capture our hearts and motivate us into action. Let us not only stop and see spring’s beauty but let us also see where we can help make things better for those around us. The hungry could use some food, the infirm a helping hand and maybe most of all the lonely a friend. Let the most pleasant of all seasons infuse us with goodwill and put any ill will behind us. If each of us does a little all of us will have done a lot.

 

The Coming of Spring

Mary Dow Brine (1816-1913)

The ice-king trembles on his throne,

And holds his rod with loosened hand;

For there are murmurs in the air

Of one who cometh, sweet and fair,

To break with smiles the monarch’s band.

 

The skies are dawning a new blue,

To welcome her whose dancing feet

Thro’ cloudland hasten from afar,

Guided by sun, and moon, and star,

Her waiting friends once more to greet

 

The timid violets lift their heads,

And heavenward turn their gentle eyes,

And catch the fragrance newly born

Which cometh with the Spring’s glad dawn,

And steal their color from the skies.

 

The merry birds on twig and branch

Trill out the news with fluttering wings,

While Robin seeks the early fruit,

Impatient watching the green shoot,

And the glad tidings gaily sings.

 

The brook, grown weary of restraint,

Has burst its weakened bonds at last,

And rushing down the mountain-side,

Lends its fresh influence far and wide,

And Winter’s icy reign is past!

~~~

The beautiful spring came; and when Nature resumes her loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive also.

Harriet Ann Jacobs

~~~

Young Morris asked his father, “Dad, was Adam Jewish?”

His father put down his newspaper and thought for a moment. He was an expert at Talmudic reasoning and in the art of making a point by an unanswerable question.

He replied, “If we can determine that Eve was Jewish, my son, we would at once see that Adam was Jewish, for who but a Jew could bring himself to marry a Jewish girl?” (Here he turned his head a bit nervously to make sure his wife wasn’t listening.)

“Therefore, we can drop the Adam problem and instead ask ourselves, “Was Eve Jewish?”

“To answer that, we have only to ask the question, “Would anyone but a Jewish girl say, ‘Here, have a piece of fruit’?”

~~~

If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

~~~

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large”.

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows”. The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, “And what are those”?

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas”?

~~~

Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.

~~~

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back “Revelation 3:20” and stuck it in the door. (Revelation 3:20 reads: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he will with me.”)

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation “Genesis 3:10” (“And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked.”).

~~~

“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.”

Rita Rudner

~~~

My Dad had a sure way to keep my Mom from buying an outfit… When she tries it on, he says, “I love that middle-aged look it gives you.”

~~~

Ballerinas are always on their toes. Why don’t they just get taller ballerinas?

~~~

I was getting into my car when I noticed a dent. On the windshield was a note and a phone number from the driver. “I feel terrible,” the woman apologized when I called. “I hit your car as I was pulling into the next parking spot.”

“Please don’t worry,” I said to her. “I’m sure our insurance companies will take care of everything.”

“Thank you for your understanding,” she said. “You’re so much nicer than the man I hit on my way out.”

~~~

“Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.”

Sarah Ban Breathnach

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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