Ray's musings and humor

Archive for February, 2014

Make someone’s day

If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.

Maya Angelou


Here we are another Valentine’s Day and an opportunity to express appreciation to those we care about, not just our significant others but all who make our lives interesting and worthwhile. Just for today why not think of everyone you meet as being a prospective valentine. Try to see the good in them and let them know that you are glad to know them. Valentine’s Day does not have to be all romance, it is also a good time to show people you care. So let me take a minute to let you know that I am glad to know you and that I hope your day is filled with happiness.

I have been saving the following article as a gift for a special day so here is my Valentine to you.


What Life Is All About

Author Unknown

Life isn’t about keeping score. It’s not about how many friends you have. Or how many people call you. Or how accepted or unaccepted you are. Not about if you have plans this weekend. Or if you’re alone. It isn’t about who you’re dating, who you use to date, how many people you’ve dated, or if you haven’t been with anyone at all. It isn’t about who you have kissed. It’s not about sex. It isn’t about who your family is or how much money they have. Or what kind of car you drive. Or where you’re sent to school.

It’s not about how beautiful or ugly you are. Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on, or what kind of music you listen to. It’s not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, brown, or green. Or if your skin is too light or too dark.

It’s not about what grades you get, how smart you are, how smart everyone else thinks you are, or how smart standardized tests say you are. Or if this teacher likes you, or if this guy/girl likes you. Or what clubs you’re in, or how good you are at “your” sport. It’s not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper and seeing who will “accept the written you”.

But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It’s about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully. It’s about keeping or betraying trust. It’s about friendship, used as sanctity, or as a weapon. It’s about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening. About starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip. It’s about what judgments you pass and why. And who your judgments are spread to.

It’s about who you’ve ignored with full control and intention. It’s about jealousy, fear, pain, ignorance, and revenge. It’s about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow and spreading it.

But most of all, it’s about using your life to touch other people’s hearts in such a way that could never occurred alone. Only you choose the way these hearts are affected and those choices are what life is all about.


“There is nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends”



Penny, a good Assessment nurse was awakened at 4 a.m. to make a house call.  She reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm.  After the examination, she told the patient to send immediately for his lawyer and relatives and friends and make a will. When she got home and told her husband of what she had seen and done. Her husband asked, “Was the patient that bad?”

Penny said, “No, I just didn’t want to be the only sucker called out on a night like this.”


Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.


Things it takes most of us 50 years to learn:

  • The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
  • The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
  • The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
  • People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
  • If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.
  • You should not confuse your career with your life.
  • A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.
  • Your true friends love you, anyway.
  • Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.


Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.


On a train from London to Manchester, an American was telling off the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.  “You English are too stuffy.  You set yourselves apart too much.  Look at me…  I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Indian blood, and some Swedish blood.  What do you say to that?”

The Englishman replied, with a smile, “Very sporting of your Mother”


“I have an inferiority complex, it’s just not a very good one.”


The discussion of radiator caps reminds me of an old car I once had. You know the kind, ratty and raggedy, driven when I was a poor college student. I was having trouble with something I couldn’t readily identify myself, so I took it into the shop. The mechanic looked at it a couple of minutes and said, “What you really need is the radiator cap solution.”

“Oh,” I said, trying not to sound too confused. “Do you mean the radiator cap isn’t holding enough pressure?”

“That’s part of the problem” he said. “You need to lift the radiator cap and drive another car under it. Then the next day you can replace the radiator cap, and it should solve your problem.”


My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her …or something like that.


A well-to-do New Yorker was building himself a summer house in Maine, and for the job he hired a local carpenter. The NYer explained, “I’ve got the plans right here, you can read a blueprint, can’t you?”

“Oh, I can read a blueprint,” said the carpenter, unrolling the plans. “And I can see a BIG mistake already. You can’t build this house like this!”

“I certainly can,” replied the NYer. “These plans were drawn by the best architectural firm in New York. I want to you follow them exactly or I’ll find myself another contractor.”

“Your funeral,” the carpenter shrugged, “but I’m warning you right off – you’re going to end up with two bathrooms.”


“All that I love loses half its pleasure if you are not there to share it.”

John Evelyn


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I am going to stay happy

At some point you have to realize the key to happiness isn’t doing things to seek the approval of others, but doing things for yourself.        

Author Unknown


Lately I have had people wonder if my chronic belief that everything will go OK and that worry is a waste of time is a problem. I guess deep down the question is one of someone’s willingness to take risks. It is like never having to fear falling off a cliff if you never venture outside. I feel sorry of those who are afraid to do much for fear that things probably would not work out.

My life is filled with positive outcomes because I ventured out into unknown territory excited by the opportunity for something new, but best of all that is where I have met some really interesting people, many who have become lifelong friends. So I have decided to do what I have always done, take a risk with the expectation that something good will be the result.

Mark Chernoff wrote a piece about achieving happiness that is worth reading, here are some of his thoughts I took from his article:


Things Happy People Never Do


Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design into the present. Happy people do a lot of things.  They spend time expressing gratitude, cultivating optimism, practicing kindness, nurturing loving relationships, committing to meaningful goals, savoring life’s little pleasures, and so on and so forth. But they NEVER…

Mind other people’s business. – Forget about what others are doing.  Stop looking at where they are and what they have.  Nobody is doing better than you because nobody can do better than you.  YOU are walking your own path. Listen to your own inner voice.  Mind your own business.

Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day.  Don’t be scared to walk alone, and don’t be scared to enjoy it.  Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or negativity stop you from being the best you can be.

Seek validation of self-worth from others. – When you are content to simply be yourself, without comparing and competing to impress others, everyone worthwhile will respect you.  And even more importantly, you will respect yourself.

Truth be told, no one has the right to judge you.  People may have heard your stories, and they may think they know you, but they can’t feel what you are going through; they aren’t living YOUR life.  So forget what they think and say about you.  Focus on how you feel about yourself, and keep walking the path that feels best under your feet.

Rely on other people and external events for happiness. – Unhappiness lies in that gap between what we have now and what we think we need.  But the truth is, we don’t need to acquire anything more to be content with what we already have.  We don’t need anyone else’s permission to be happy.  Your life is magnificent not because someone says it is, or because you have acquired something new, but because you choose to see it as such.  Don’t let your happiness be held hostage.  It is always yours to choose, to live and experience.

The greater part of your happiness or unhappiness depends upon your outlook, and not upon our situation.  Even if things aren’t perfect right now, think of all the beauty still left around you.  A good reason to smile is always one thought away; choose to tap into it any time you like.


“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be”

Marcel Pagnol



Most of us have learned to live with “voice mail” as now a necessary part of our daily lives.  But have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install ” voice mail”?

Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling Heaven. Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for Requests

Press 2 for Thanksgiving

Press 3 for Complaints

Press 4 for all other inquiries

I am sorry, all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

God, press 1

For Jesus, press 2

For the Holy Spirit, press 3

If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, press 4.

To find a loved one that has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, then enter his or her Social Security Number, followed by the pound sign.  (If you get a negative response, please hang up and try area code 666.)

For reservations at Heaven, please enter J-O-H-N followed by the numbers 3-1-6.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, life on other planets, and where Noah’s Ark is, please wait until you arrive.

Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow.

This office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Please pray again on Monday after 9:30 a.m.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.

age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache.”


Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.


After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know on Valentine’s Day.” he said.

On Valentine’s Day, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it – to find a book entitled….”The Meaning Of Dreams.”


I have learned that if you upset your wife she nags you. If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment. Don’t you think it’s worth the extra effort?


The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted. His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. “My, you look tired,” she said.  “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”

“It was terrible,” her husband said, “The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking.”


Give yourself up to this moment. Dare to see it. Now look down at your feet; slip out of those invisible tethers. Then ask: Where would you take yourself right this moment if you walked toward your most heartfelt dream? What would your life look like? What would your body look and feel like? What level of energy would you have? What might be your favorite activity? What would your daily life include? Imagine happiness — the sweet glow of inner contentment, the way it tastes and smells and feels.

Chris Downie


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

We can make a difference

We must be the change we wish to see in the world.

Mahatma Gandhi

we can do it

Yesterday was again filled with things to do. I am sure glad I am taking it easier because I have learned that I am not ready to resume anything near the load I had just a few months ago. My day started at the Y at 5 AM and then on to rehab exercises. Later I spent time picking necessities and the worked on backlogged work and before I knew it the day was over.

I am now off to exercise and my final rehab session. That will be followed a much delayed lunch with a significant friend. I also have a stack of unfinished business including a rave review of Forever Plaid being performed brilliantly by the professional actors of the Actors Theatre of Indiana at the Carmel Performing Arts Center. The show is a hoot with great music which also brought back warm memories from the past. If you are in Central Indiana you should try to see it before the end of the run which is but a few weeks away.


Since I am in a rush let me dip back in the files for today’s Daily.


Ray’s Daily first published on February 12, 2004


I may have mentioned the fact that last week I had the good fortune to listen to a friend tell a group of Kiwanians how we each could help make the world a better place by devoting as little as 60 minutes a week to the job. It was a great talk; he reminded all of us that if we want things to get better it is up to people like you and me. These days it seems like we are surrounded by complainers who want someone else to do it, or those who wish good things would happen but do nothing but hope. Today I ran across the following. It challenges each of us to pray for those things that help us to help others, rather than praying that someone else works some magic and makes the world’s problems disappear.


We have the resources and the channels to feed every person on the planet, yet we pray for an end to starvation.

We have the supplies and the means to house and clothe each citizen on earth, yet we pray for an end to poverty.

We have the ability to be friends and companions to the elderly and the infirm, yet we pray for an end to their loneliness.

We have the qualified competence to mentor and guide the young, yet we pray for the lost and misguided among them.

We have within us, the capacity to love one another, yet we pray for an end to hatred.

We have the power to transform the world, yet we pray for change.

We have been given so much, yet we use so little of it.

Let us pray for the things we need, not for that, which we already have.

Let our legacy be one of action, a generation of doers, who prayed deeply and in earnest for the strength, the courage, the determination and the conviction, to use our God-given gifts – justly.

Terri McPherson


I don’t have the time for a hobby. I have a computer.


Hymns for Those of You 50 and Over….

1-Precious Lord, Take My Hand, And Help Me Up

2-It Is Well with My Soul, But My Knees Hurt

3-Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing

4-Just a Slower Walk with Thee

5-Count Your Many Birthdays, Name Them One by One

6-Go Tell It on the Mountain, But Speak Up

7-Give Me the Old Timers’ Religion

8-Blessed Insurance

9-Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah, I’ve Forgotten Where I Parked


“Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.”

William Makepeace Thackeray


A man is lost in the Sahara desert.  He used up the last of his water three days ago and he’s lying, gasping, on the sand, when in the distance he suddenly hears a voice calling “Mush! Mush!”

Not trusting his ears he turns his head and there it is again, closer this time — “Mush! Mush!”

Propping himself up on one elbow he squints against the sun and sees, of all things, an Eskimo bundled up in furs driving a sled with a team of huskies across the dunes.  Thinking that it’s a hallucination, he blinks and shakes his head, but it’s for real!  He painfully lifts one arm and in a cracked voice calls, “Help!”

The Eskimo pulls the sled up by him, the huskies panting in the heat, and he says to the Eskimo, “I don’t know what you’re doing here, or why, but thank God you are!  I’ve been wandering around this desert for days, my water’s all gone and I’m completely lost!”

The perspiring Eskimo looks down at him and says, “You think you’re lost!!!!”


“The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.”

James Thurber


An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. “Where would you like to sit?” he asked politely.

“The front row please.” she answered.

“You really don’t want to do that”, the usher said. “The pastor is really boring.”

“Do you happen to know who I am?” the woman inquired. “No.” he said.

“I’m the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked.

“No.” she said.

“Good,” he answered.


Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.

Pope John XXIII


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Pursuing Energy

“Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Oliver Goldsmith


I will be doing physical rehab exercises today and tomorrow after my 5 AM workouts and then I will have completed my rehab program. I have come a long way in the three months since my heart failure, due in no small part to the work of the staff at my rehab facility. My balance has improved as has my physical tone. I am grateful for the progress but I still have a way to go. My heart doctor warned me it may be a few months before I get all my energy back. The combination of staying on course with my workouts and maintaining a more manageable schedule make me optimistic that the new me will be able to do many of the things the old me use to do.

While in search of energy boosting tips I found an article written by Gretchen Rubin some time ago. She is one of my favorite people whose wisdom often hits home for me. Here is what she says those of us who are energy deficient can do for a quick fix.


Ten Tips for an Emergency Energy Boost.

When your energy level is low, everything feels like a chore — even things would ordinarily make you happy. There are many things we should on a regular basis to keep our energy levels high, like exercising and getting enough sleep. But what if you need more energy right now? And you don’t want to wait for the reward for your good habits to kick in? Try one of these strategies:

1. Go outside into the sunlight. Light deprivation is one reason people feel tired. Research suggests that light stimulates brain chemicals that improve mood. For an extra boost, get your sunlight first thing in the morning. And while you’re outside…

2. Go for a brisk walk. Even a ten-minute walk can give you a surge of energy and decreased tension.

3. Act with energy. We think we ACT because of the way we FEEL, but often we FEEL because of the way we ACT. Trick yourself into feeling energetic by moving more quickly, pacing while you talk on the phone, and putting more energy into your voice.

4. Listen to your favorite zippy song. Hearing stimulating music gives an instant lift.

5. Talk to an energetic friend. Not only do we gain energy from interacting with other people, we also – in what’s called “emotional contagion” — “catch” their emotions. Instead of infecting others with your draggy mood, try to lift yourself by catching the energy of a boisterous friend.

6. Tackle an item on your to-do list. Maybe you need to drive to an out-of-the-way store; or add the last, difficult touches to a homemade gift; or make a phone call to a difficult relative. You’ll be amazed by the huge rush of energy you get when it’s crossed off your list. If you’re having trouble, try doing it first thing in the morning. The night before, decide what you’re going to do, then get up and do it.

7. Clean up. For most people, outer order contributes to inner calm. If you feel overwhelmed and listless, try tidying up. No heavy scrubbing, just tidy the surfaces. Making your surroundings more pleasant will help to give you energy — plus, making visible improvements is a booster, too.

8. Jump! Yes, jump up and down a few times. I just started doing this, and it’s amazing how energizing it is.

9. Note of caution: people often try to use food to boost their low energy. This obviously helps if you’re actually hungry, but if you’re not hungry, eating ice cream out of the container — tempting as it is — won’t really help.

10. Cut yourself, and other people, some slack. A few years ago, at Halloween time, I somehow neglected to get us a pumpkin! This counts as Mommy malpractice in my book. But you know what? It was okay.


“Don’t fear change, embrace it.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


A man died and his wife phoned the newspaper to place an obituary. She called the obituary department and said, “This is what I want to print: Bernie is dead.”

The man at the newspaper said, “But for $25 you are allowed to print six words.”

The woman answered, “OK. Then print: Bernie is dead. Toyota for sale.”


Henny Youngman remarked once that, in his will, he is leaving his body to Julia Roberts. “If she can’t wait, she can have it now,” he added.


Penny, the mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters, was asked whether or not she’d have children if she had it to do over again. Without the slightest pause, Penny replied, “Sure…but not the same ones.”


There are more important things in life than money – but they won’t go out with you if you’re broke.


One English teacher was a perfectionist and demanded the very best of his pupils. So it was only to be expected that he would get furious when Little Johnny handed in a poor paper.

“This is the worst essay it has ever been my misfortune to read,” ranted the teacher. “It has too many mistakes. I can’t understand how one person would have made all these mistakes.”

“One person didn’t,” replied Little Johnny defensively. “My father helped me.”


A perfectionist is one who takes great pains, and gives them to everyone else.


She said, I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, “Mom ! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!”


I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical.

Arthur C Clarke


A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter-haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?


“Osborne’s Law”

Variables won’t; constants aren’t.


Kevin is very attentive when he goes out on a date. He took a lady out to see the latest hit movie, and he was overheard to say:

Kevin in movie: “Can you see, dear?

Date: “Yes”

Kevin: “Is your seat comfortable?”

Date: “Yes”

Kevin: “Is there a draft on you?”

Date: “No”

Kevin: “Good!  Let’s change seats.”


“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Yippee, weekend coming up

“The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.”

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross


I know that today is going to be a better day then yesterday. I was on the road at 6 AM when I hit a chuckhole and lost a tire. Temperature was below zero, it was cold and there was nowhere to go. Fortunately I had my phone and called AAA road service. I was glad that they made me a priority and got there 15 minutes later before I froze. After they put on the mini spare I drove to Firestone where they had to get a replacement tire from another store. The wait kept me from delivering promised items for my Kiwanis Club’s charity auction, luckily one of the committee members was in the area and came and picked up what I had. While waiting I spilled coffee on my favorite white winter sweater and the rest of the day was not much better.

The good news is that so many folks have donated some really wonderful items for our auction including works of art, live theatre tickets, courtside professional basketball tickets, and much more including an organizational development package for 25 people and Yoga lessons. And you know what; friends are telling me there is more coming. I just hope I get it all before next week’s deadline. The people that will join us for the event will have wine to taste, good food to eat and access to a heck of a lot of great gifts at bargain prices and all for only $45 dollars a person. If you’re in Indy why not join us, if you do you will be glad you did. It will be at the Country club od Indianapolis.

I am off this morning very early to the gym to do strength exercises and then to the rehab center for more exercises. It is a good thing the weekend starts tomorrow so I can sleep and nurse my sore muscles. Right now I am going to share with you some of the stuff I put in the Daily on February 7, 2001.


More of life’s lessons:

You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the duct tape.

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: “I apologize” and “You are right.”

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.


The beatings will continue until morale improves.


She said:

I. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt squeeze no others before me.

II. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth me behind my back.

III. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy.  Or else.

IV. Honor MY mother and father. THINE are too darned weird.

V. Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily and making me embarrassed to be seen with thee.

VI. Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK about it if thou knowest what’s good for thee.

VII. Thou shalt not steal from my purse/wallet while I am in thy bathroom, nor use my credit cards, nor make long-distance calls from my telephone.

VIII. Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends.

IX. Thou shalt not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor’s house.

X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s Squeeze, nor son or daughter, nor stereo, nor BMW.


Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.


Some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first…

Your Clothes:

1st baby:  You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby:  You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby:  Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

The Baby’s Name:

1st baby:  You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.

2nd baby:  Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.

3rd baby:  You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.


“Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life in which you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.”

Fran Lebowitz


A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian.

“What is it made of?” she asked.

“Alligator’s teeth,” the Indian replied.

“I suppose,” she said patronizingly, “that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us.”

“Oh no,” he objected. “Anybody can open an oyster.”


“I Wish For You…”

Comfort on difficult days,

Smiles when sadness intrudes,

Rainbows to follow the clouds,

Laughter to kiss your lips,

Sunsets to warm your heart,

Gentle hugs when spirits sag,

Friendships to brighten your being,

Beauty for your eyes to see,

Confidence for when you doubt,

Faith so that you can believe,

Courage to know yourself,

Patience to accept the truth,

And love to complete your life.


And if you can’t have all that…

Then I wish you enough chocolate to make it through the tough times….


If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire—then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience. Life is inconvenient. Life is lumpy. Learn to separate the inconveniences from the real problems. You will live longer.

Sigmund Wollman


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I really miss Erma

Lead the life that will make you kindly and friendly to everyone about you, and you will be surprised what a happy life you will lead.

Charles M. Schwab


If you are like I am you sometimes take a little time to look back over your life’s past. I enjoy remembering good times with old friends. It is fun bring back sights and events that brought pleasure.

But I also reflect on major events not with remorse or regret but just to see what they look like from a distance. I find these moments sometimes turn into learning experiences helping me to remember what I might of done differently so if I encounter similar events in the future I can take action that will hopefully result in a better outcome.

My recent illness is a good example. An examination of my lifestyle before my heart failure has shown that I could have exercised more, eaten less and carried a lighter load. Of course my doctors have told me the same thing and I find it is worth listening.

All this reminds me of what Erma Bombeck wrote not long before her passing years ago about what should be important in our lives. Here is what she said.



I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the “good” living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather rambling about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculped like a rose before it melted

in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more

while watching life.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment, realising that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”

There would have been more “I love you’s” and more “I’m sorry’s”

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute . . . look at it and really see it . . . and never give it back.”


Fortunately we all have time to begin to really enjoy a happier life all we have to do is heed Erma’s advice.


Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.

Marcus Aurelius


A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know 5 things:

1 – The bartender is a blonde girl.

2 – The bouncer is a blonde gal.

3 – I’m a 6 foot tall, 200 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4 – The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.

5 – The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it 5 times.”


Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

Josh Billings


Two horses were walking back to the paddock after a day’s training. One says to the other, “I can’t understand why we are so slow, we come from good stock, we have the best of food, great trainers, and yet we come last in every race.”

There was a dog running along side them who overheard and said, “I know what your problem is. I’ve seen you race and it looks to me like you begin the race really fast and use up all your energy too soon. Then towards the end, you have nothing left. What you should do is pace yourselves, and when all the other horses are exhausted, put in a spurt and you’re sure to win. What do you think of that?”

The horses looked at one another and said, “WOW, a talking dog!”


Love consists in looking together in the same direction.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery


A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ”I’m going down to the bar for a bit, so put your coat on.”

The woman replied, ”Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?”

The man replied, ”No, I’m turning the heat off.”


Sign on a clothing store – Come inside and have a fit.


A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.” The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, “Okay, Ma. Guess which one I’m going to marry.” She immediately replies, “The redhead in the middle.”

“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?”

“I don’t like her.”


A Catholic boy was bragging to his Jewish friend. “My priest knows more than your rabbi.”

“Of course he does,” said the Jewish boy. “You tell him everything.”


A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.”

The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call,

“Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.”


A happy life must be to a great extent a quiet life, for it is only in an atmosphere of quiet that true joy dare live.

Bertrand Russell


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I agree with Shadonna

“We must value life and treasure each breath we take. We must value each person and how he or she touches our lives everyday.”

Shadonna Richards

appreciate others

I peeked out the entrance to the cave and found we again had a major snow dump overnight so I am hibernating again today. No workout other than time on my treadmill at home and my luncheon appointment has been deferred until next week. Forget what I said about Indianapolis’ mild winters.


I recently read an article written by author Catherine Pulsifer that really hit home. It reminded me of just how fortunate I have been to meet so many really fine people. My many experiences has brought me personally into contact with movie stars, international government leaders, scientists, professors, non-governmental humanitarians, teachers, retail clerks, restaurant workers, rich and poor people, in reality folks from all walks of life. My experience has shown that inspiration comes from people with good hearts no matter where they are from, what they have, or what they do for a living.

I have been the beneficiary of the friendship and often the shared wisdom of hundreds of really special folks; and you know what most of them were people like you and me. Some were well off, most were not, some had power, but the overwhelming majority did not, and some had fancy jobs with big titles, but they were few in numbers. What most had in common was a positive outlook, a genuine care for others and small egos coupled with big hearts. I am fortunate that I met and made friends with so many as I walked life’s path. In case I forgot to thank you for being there please accept my gratitude now.

Here is the article that I read.

Inspirational People

We all have inspirational people in our lives; people who have encouraged and inspired us to believe in ourselves. Many of these people have inspired me by their books and recordings. Their words of wisdom are ones that can apply to all of our lives. They share their knowledge and wisdom to make a difference in the lives of many. They have inspired and have been a role model for many.

Ordinary People With Extraordinary Gifts

You may through the course of a lifetime find inspirational people in your life who are not famous, are not authors, nor are they motivational speakers. These can be what might be termed ordinary people with an extraordinary gift to inspire those around them. These special inspiring people may be someone you meet at work and that person could be a co-worker, or a supervisor who excels at leading people through example, through skilled coaching sessions, and one who always sees the solution instead of the problem.

It could also be a person that you meet at church, or in a bowling league, or a schoolteacher or a minister, or the neighbor next door. It doesn’t matter who the person is or isn’t in terms of a position of importance; the real matter is that they are inspiring and uplifting. 


“Try to do unto others as you would have them do to you, and do not be discouraged if they fail sometimes. It is much better that they should fail than you should.”

Charles Dickens


A selection of real comments made by airline attendants years ago.

•After landing: “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”

•As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!”

•”In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, margarine cups will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child… pick your favorite.

•”Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.”

•”Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

•”As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”


A wise man once said, “If you want to watch the world passing you by, just try driving the speed limit.”


A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.”

Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, “My goodness, doc, exactly what’s my problem?”

Doctor says, “You’re not drinking enough water.”


“I don’t get no respect at all. My wife, she ran off with my best friend. Now I got no dog.”

Rodney Dangerfield


The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.

“Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?”

Five small voices answered in unison. “Okay, daddy, you get the toy.”


Sign seen in our veterinarian’s office: “All children left unattended will be given a free kitten.”


A woman was watching her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.

Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, “I don’t think that is going to help.”

“Sure it will,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers…”


The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that’s the way to bet.

Damon Runyon


When the man came home, his wife was crying.

“Your mother insulted me,” she sobbed.

“My mother?  How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the world?” the man asked.

“I know.  But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious.”


“At the end of the letter it was written:

PS.  Dear Diane, when you have finished reading this letter, don’t forget to give it to my son.”


“How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.”

George Washington Carver


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Winter Lingers

Better to lose count while naming your blessings than to lose your blessings to counting your troubles.

Maltbie D. Babcock


We are supposed to have another 6 to 10 inches of snow dumped on us later today accompanied by another period of frigid temperatures and they predict more is coming after that. Just think what it would be like without global warming.


I was able to make it to my bone doctors this morning where I was advised that my creaky joints require an extended period in a fountain of youth or acceptance of the fact that aging has a price. This morning when the Doctor reviewed my medical history he commented on how so many serious incidents and sometimes lengthy periods of recovery must be difficult to handle. I told him that I did not see my various bouts as catastrophes leaving memories I had to carry forever; rather I viewed them as events to be dealt with and then left behind with gratitude for having overcome the problem. I have never found that feeling sorry for one’s self has any value at all. In my case focusing on doing whatever it takes while believing that things will work out has been great medicine. The only long term chronic infection I have is my belief that tomorrow I will have a chance to make it a good day.

Here is a poem with a message I like, following its advice can work therapeutic wonders.


If I can keep my eyes focused on what’s ahead,

And allow what’s behind me to simply be dead –

Then I will make it.


If I can keep a firm grip on the present elements in my hand,

And wisely position my feet so that I always stand –

Then I will make it.


If I can accept that rocky ground and steep climbs

Are necessary obstacles to be conquered with patience and time –

Then I will make it.


If I can muster my strength to keep pressing on,

Especially in times when it seems I’m being baked by the sun –

Then I will make it.


If I can learn to crucify my pride,

By praying for strength and allowing my friends to stand at my side –

Then I will make it.


If I can fully embrace the good that’s inside,

Relinquishing fear, doubt, and shame, so it can shine –

Then I will make it.


If I can do all of these things one day at a time,

Knowing that I’m not perfect, and that being fine –

Then I will make it.

Malcolm O. Varner


Don’t cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won’t let you see the stars.

Violeta Parra


A famous Hollywood director dies and reaches Heaven.  At the proverbial gate, St. Peter meets him and explains that God would like the director to make one more movie.

The director grimaces,  “But I retired years before I died.  I’m tired of all the hassles involved in making movies.”

“Listen,”  St. Peter explains,  “we got Ludwig von Beethoven to write a new score for the movie.”

“You’re not listening to me,”  the director protested.  “I don’t want to make any more movies.”

“But we got Leonardo do Vinci to do the set design for you,”  St. Peter exclaimed.

“I don’t want to make any more movies!”  the director insisted.

“Just look at this script,”  St. Peter said.  “We got William Shakespeare to write it for you.”

“Well,”  said the director,  “a score by Beethoven, set designed by da Vinci, a script by Shakespeare…How can I go wrong?  I’ll do it!”

“Great!”  exclaimed St. Peter.  “There’s only one small hitch… God’s got a girlfriend who sings…”


“Action is the antidote to despair.”

Joan Baez


The little girl had just listened to her mother’s reading one of her favorite fairy tales.

“Mommy,” asked the child, “do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once Upon a Time’…?”

“No, sweetheart,” replied the mother, “sometimes they start with ‘Darling, I have to work a little late at the office tonight’.”


The real cause of divorce is marriage.


During the Second World War, when many young men were being trained for combat, they were stationed in the south, and it was the custom for some of the local residents to offer some Southern Hospitality to our fighting men.

One day, in a camp that will remain nameless, the phone rang; a woman at a local woman’s school offered to entertain a dozen soldiers at a party being held the upcoming weekend, and would the captain send some of her best behaved men over? The captain agreed, but before he could finalize the agreements, the woman made a request: “Please, suh, don’t send any Jewish boys.”

The captain agreed … no Jews.

The day of the party, the soldiers were dropped off at the school, and knocked on the door. The hostess opened the door … to the sight of a dozen Black soldiers, all in dress uniforms.

“Why, th-there m-must be some kind of m-mistake,” she stammered.

“No, ma’am,” said one of the soldiers, “Captain Rabinowitz, he doesn’t make mistakes.”


“My watch is three hours fast, and I can’t fix it.  So I’m going to move to New York.”

Steven Wright


In a very exclusive private school near California’s Silicon Valley, a third-grade teacher was lecturing her upper-high-class students about the less fortunate.  She asked them each to write an essay about a poor family in the area.

One little girl’s paper began: “Once upon a time there was a poor family. The father was poor. The mother was poor.  The children were poor. The nannies were poor.  The pool man was poor. The personal trainer was poor. The gardeners were poor. . . . . This was a very poor family!


If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be.

John Heywood


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Yes you are!

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

Norman Vincent Peale


I’ve had a heck of a weekend. I was overwhelmed with birthday greetings from Daily readers and others, I also got to spend some time with my seldom seen brother and we got together with those family members that were not away at college. On top of all that a number of folks have provided great items for my Kiwanis Club’s upcoming wine tasting dinner and auction. Three different theatre groups donated passes to future productions. An accounting firm donated courtside tickets to see the Indiana Pacers play. My friends at the Indianapolis Zoo donated passes for entrance and parking. And there was more from others. To those of you who have helped thanks, your gifts are going to raise the money needed to help clothe and feed kids who have little as well as helping us to build a better community.


I could not help myself over the last few days from being awestruck by just how super so many of the people I know really are. The thing that bothers me sometimes is that they don’t realize just how good they are. I often find people don’t give themselves credit for their being special every day, for being kind to others, caring, sometimes surviving major problems and much more that they take for granted that is truly special. I feel extremely fortunate to know so many of you at a time when lots of others are quick to anger and blame others for everything negative in their lives. Your walk through life with grace is inspiring; I just wish you knew how great you are.


Here is an article from the Moral Stories Blog that I offer as being worth your consideration.


Believe in Yourself

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren’t the way you had hoped they would be. That’s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.

There are times when people disappoint you and let you down. But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself. There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them. Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be. Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself!


It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.

Hanoch McCarty


There was an article I read about a little girl’s insight into boys which was particularly insightful:

“Boys are no good at all until they grow up and get married.  Men who don’t get married are no good either.  Boys are an awful bother. They want everything except soap.  My mom is a woman, and my dad is a man.  A woman is a grown up girl with children. My dad is such a nice man that I think he must have been a girl when he was a boy.”


Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears.

Rudyard Kipling


Woman phones up her husband at work for a chat.

Husband: “I’m sorry dear, but I’m up to my neck in work today.”

Wife: “But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you, dear.”

Husband: “Okay, darling, but as I’ve got very little time now, so just give me the good news.”

Wife: “Well, the air bag works.”


Familiarity breeds children.


The insurance salesman was trying to persuade a housewife to take out a life insurance policy.  “Now supposing your husband were to die,” he said, “what would you get?”

“Oh, a Labrador, I think,” replied the housewife.  “They’re always good company!”


So one guy says to another guy, ” Goldberg and Rosenstern were talking one day…HOLD IT !, his friend interrupts him,

“Always with the Jewish jokes! Give it a rest! Why do they always have to be about Jews? Just change the names to another ethnic group for once!”

So he starts again, “Hashimoto and Suzuki were talking one day at their nephew’s Bar Mitzvah…”


Did you really think Mr. Rogers wanted you or me as a neighbor?


“Oh, No!” he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him. Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How anyone could have survived he did not know.

He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding Danny kept him from turning and fleeing the scene. He took a deep breath and proceeded.

Walking was virtually impossible with so many things strewn across his path. He moved ahead slowly.

“Danny! Danny!” he whispered to himself. He tripped and almost fell several times. He heard someone, or something, move. At least he thought he did. Perhaps, he was just hoping he did. He shook his head and felt his gut tighten.

He couldn’t understand how this could have happened. There was some light but not enough to see very much. Something cold and wet brushed against his hand. He jerked it away.

In desperation, he took another step then cried out, “Danny!”

From a nearby pile of unidentified material, he heard his son. “Yes, Dad,” he said, in a voice so weak it could hardly be heard.

“It’s time to get up and get ready for school,” the man sighed, “and, for heaven’s sake, clean up this room.”


People are like stained-glass windows.  They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross


Stay well, do good work, and have fun

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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