Ray's musings and humor

What’s important to you?

The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.

Audrey Hepburn

 important

I hope you had a great weekend and if you left daylight savings time that you enjoyed the extra hour of sleep. I missed attending our local farmers market as most are closed but next week I hope to attend a winter market where I can reload my larder with pastries, prepared specialty foods and more.

I did have a chance yesterday to spend a few minutes with a family friend who is a morning newscaster in the south. I did let him know that while I liked the newscasters I did not care much for the news they reported these days, especially the news out of congress.

I also visited a friend who was moved to a rehab facility to do some pulmonary rehabilitation and who is on the mend after recovering from some pretty severe medical problems. The facility is somewhat depressing as there are many folks who seemed to have lost their motivation to get back to an active life, fortunately my friend is not one of those. There is always something out there for all of us but we need to start by putting our toe in the water and then diving in.

Here is a piece that I saved some time ago but have forgotten where I got it or who wrote it. We all have the opportunity to crawl out of the rut that often leads to withdrawal for many of the good things we might add to our lives. I view this article as a way to invest in our continued happiness..

 

Remember what’s IMPORTANT!

Do you remember the Monty Python Sketch about the “Silly Olympics”, called the “100 Meters Dash for People With a Poor Sense of Direction”? Well, the gun goes off, and pretty soon the athletes are running backwards, sideways and nowhere. They are running very fast, but they have no direction. This morning, your alarm clock went off, and you too started to run – it’s another busy day, auto-pilot kicks in (thank God!), and you dash from bed to bathroom, have breakfast on the run, tackle the traffic, negotiate the road-rage, and frantically you consult the personal organiser for “What first?”, “What next?” and “What now?” Do you know where you are running to? Are you on track? Is there any finishing line in sight?

Decide who and what is important to you and give, wholeheartedly of your time, your energy and your attention. People get ill and unhappy because, 1) they forget what is important; 2) they know what is important but their time, energy and attention is spent elsewhere. Do not let details eclipse what is important.

Exercise: write down 10 things you love to do, and then write down next to each of these activities the date you last did it; write down 10 people that you love to spend “quality time” with, and again write down the date you last spent “quality time” with each person. Are you still on track? Have you got enough time to do this exercise?

~~~

Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day.

Dalai Lama

~~~

ADVICE COLUMN ABOUT PREGNANCY….

Q. Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?

A. Yes, but you’ll have an even better chance if he doesn’t wear anything at all.

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?

A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. My blood type is O-positive and my husband’s is A-negative. What if my baby is born type AB-positive?

A. Then the jig is up.

Q. I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?

A. If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

Q. Since I became pregnant, My breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?

A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor?

A. When the sex is between your husband and another woman.

~~~

“Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it.”

Soren Kierkegaard

~~~

You Know You Live in a Small Town When…

~Third Street is on the edge of town.

~You don’t use your turn signals because everyone knows where you are going.

~A baby born on June 14 receives gifts from local merchants as the first baby of the year.

~You speak to each dog you pass by name and he wags his tail at you.

~You drive into the ditch five miles out of town and the word gets back before you do.

~You dial a wrong number and talk for 15 minutes anyway.

~You can’t walk for exercise because every car that passes you offers you a ride.

~You miss a Sunday at church and receive a get-well card.

~Someone asks you how you feel and listens to what you say.

~~~

Dear Abby,

I know boys will be boys, but my ‘boy’ is seventy-three and he’s still chasing women. Any suggestions?

Annie

Dear Annie,

Don’t worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he ever caught one, he wouldn’t know what to do with it.

~~~

Bubba, Billy Bob, Waylon and Cletis were having a quite quiet beer in a bar one day. They got to talking about modern words. Cletis asked, “what in tarnation is globalization?”

Waylon replied “Princess Diana’s death.”

The others were perplexed, so Bubba asked, “how come?”

Waylon replied, “an English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was high on Australian beer, Scottish whiskey and Burmese dope, followed closely by  Spanish Paparazzi on Italian motorcycles with Japanese cameras, treated by an American doctor using Swiss drugs based on Brazilian medicines, and medical  technology using Bill Gates’ software that he stole from the Taiwanese with hardware based on IBM clones that use Philippine-made chips and Malaysian made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries made in Korea and driven by Indians, shipped by Vietnamese crew of ships built in Northern Ireland owned by Greeks registered in Panama, hijacked by Indonesian pirates with guns made in Israel, smuggled by Africans and finally sold by an Arab salesman working through a Hong Kong front!”

The guys all looked stunned.

Waylon smirked and said, “Now that’s globalization!”

~~~

Dear Abby,

I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can’t afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?

Sam

Dear Sam,

Yes. Run for public office.

~~~

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

Steve Jobs

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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