Ray's musings and humor

Archive for May, 2013

Live your life passionately, live with purpose, make a difference, be all you can be, have fun, be awesome, stay healthy and most of all believe in you!!

Ricardo Housham

Brick-Street2

I am going to have fun tomorrow and if you live in Central Indiana you can too. I will be selling BBQ pulled pork at a fundraiser to help my Kiwanis Club’s kids programs at the Zionsville Brick street market. Main street in Zionsville will be filled with stands offering food, fun and that thing you always wanted but never knew you did. I plan on being in our booth early and staying until late morning so if you come make sure to say hello. And if that’s not enough the Zionsville Farmers Market will open adjacent to Brick street. I am going to sneak over there in the morning so I can by a jar of Gazpacho from my favorite soup maker, and probably some homemade pastry as well. For all of you poor souls who live too far away why not find something special in your area and give yourself a treat. I find that far too often the days go by and we miss one opportunity after another to find enjoyment right in our own backyard. I think too many of us start with the assumption that we probably would not like a local event, I prefer to assume that I might like them and you know what, I usually do. In fact over my later years I have found all kinds of foods, events and performances that in the old days I would have passed up since I only focused on what I already knew I liked. I am glad I stopped limiting myself for I discovered that I was missing many things that were much better than what I expected. I know I am going to have an enjoyable weekend because I also will be celebrating the graduation of a granddaughter and grandson from a great high school. They both have done extremely well during the last four years and are going on to two fine universities. All my grandchildren provide me with great pleasure as they allow me to share in their lives. I hope your weekend is also great for you.

~~~

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

Dr. Seuss

~~~

Theology Kid’s Style

Dear God, please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now. Amanda Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. Joyce Dear God, I read the bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me. Love,  Alison Dear God, is it true my father won’t get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house? Anita Dear God, I bet it’s very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. Nancy Dear God, I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones. I like walking on water, too. Glenn Dear God, do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don’t, who does? Nathan Dear God, in bible times, did they really talk that fancy? Jennifer Dear God, how come you did all those miracles in the old days and don’t do any now? Billy Dear God, please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year. Peter Dear God, maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother. Larry Dear God, if you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes. Barbara Dear God, is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business? Donny Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are already God. Charles Dear God, it is great the way you always get the stars in the right place. Why can’t you do that with the moon? Jeff Dear God, I am doing the best I can. Really. Frank Dear God, I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool. Thomas

~~~

If you’ve ended up in hell with someone, and you’re still mad at them, where do you tell them to go?

~~~

Recently, I was on a plane that had taken off and was approaching cruising altitude, when one of the flight attendants came on the public- address system. She announced that she was sorry, but the plane’s restrooms were out of order.  The flight attendant went on to apologize to the passengers for any inconvenience. But then she finished cheerily with: “So, as compensation, free drinks will be served.”

~~~

The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have.

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: “GEORGE AND THE DRAGON”. He knocked. The Innkeeper’s wife stuck her head out a window. “Could ye spare some victuals?” he asked. The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition. “No!” she said rather sternly. “Could I have a drink of water?” “No!” she said again. “Could I at least sleep in your stable then?” “NO!”  By this time she was fairly shouting. The vagabond still continued,  “Might I please…?” “What *now*?” the woman interrupted impatiently. “D’ye suppose,” he asked…”I might have a word with George?”

~~~

“Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air, and you.”

Langston Hughes

~~~

A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past an empty cart when he heard a woman ask, “Excuse me, did you want that cart?” “No,” he answered. “I’m only after one thing.” As he walked toward the store, he heard her murmur, “Typical male.”

~~~

“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”

Anthony Robbins

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I think you’re terrific

The best way to multiply your happiness is to share it with others.

share-happiness

As you know I am an addict, I am addicted to happy people; I just can’t get enough of them. I think my main reason for always trying to spend as much time as possible is that their happiness is so contagious. In reality their lives are not much different than most it is just that they have learned to enjoy them more. I have also learned that enjoying life more can be an acquired skill. If you look for it and practice being happy you will find more of it.

Sometime ago I copied some wisdom that was included in Ray Holden’s article entitled Happiness Now, here is one of his suggestions that I really like. I honestly believe that if we would practice these suggestions more often we would enjoy more of our days.

Give What you Want!

One of the healing processes I use on my workshops that I most enjoy is called “Complementary Medicine Therapy”. This process acknowledges the enormous healing potential of kind, loving and encouraging words of complement.

These are three stages to “Complementary Medicine Therapy”. You might want to try each stage for yourself. The first stage is to write down five complements you would most like to receive from anybody. These complements may highlight a particular quality, talent, skill or value that is dear to you. Once written, I ask participants to repeat these complements out loud to themselves. Why? Because, often what you want to hear from others is what you are currently not saying to yourself.

Other people can complement you a thousand times over, but you will only truly hear (i.e. receive) as many complements from others as you are willing to give yourself. Thus, giving to yourself can help you to receive from others. Keep your list of complements on hand. Read them not just once, but three times a day, for seven days minimum.

The second stage of “Complementary Medicine Therapy” is to think of someone in your life who is perhaps overdue a sincere complement from you. The name or face of this person will appear almost instantly. Think carefully now what it is you would most like to complement them for. Why do this? First, because being loving is fulfilling your purpose; second, it’s great fun; third, whatever you complement in another person you are strengthening in yourself also.

The third stage is to think of a person whom you feel is overdue in giving you a loving complement. Once again, the name or face of this person will appear almost instantly. Think for a moment, what would you most like them to say to you? Next, make contact with this person and give to them the complement you would most like to receive from them? Give what you want? Why? Because, often what you are not getting may be what you are withholding.

Other people are you! They are your mirrors! And just as it would be entirely unreasonable to stand before a mirror and demand to see something you are not presenting, so too, it is unreasonable to expect from someone something you are not willing to give. Many people have experienced great breakthroughs in their relationships (with both the living and dead) during this third stage.

~~~

“Happiness quite unshared can scarcely be called happiness; it has no taste.”

Charlotte Brontë

~~~

How Many Christians Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

Charismatic: Only 1 – Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal: 10 – One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None – Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None – Candles only. (Of guaranteed origin of course.)

Baptists: At least 15 – One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: 3 – One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: 5 – One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined – Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene: 6 – One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None – Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish: What’s a light bulb?

~~~

There is no greater joy nor greater reward than to make a fundamental difference in someone’s life.

Sister Mary Rose McGeady

~~~

Our new office computer system was down as much as it was working. My co-worker Cathy decided to stay late one evening to catch up on the work that had accumulated. On her way home, a police officer stopped her for speeding. “What a perfect end to an awful day!” she exclaimed. “Our computer is up, then down — up, then down. I stay late to catch up, and now this!”

The officer was unaffected by Cathy’s griping and he went to his car to prepare a citation. After what seemed an eternity, he returned with her license and registration. As he handed them to her, he smiled and said, “Our computer is down.”

~~~

I grew up in a large family. The only way my parents could afford to feed us all was to start a game of hide-and-seek right before dinner.

~~~

A housewife with three small children was getting dinner ready, when the telephone rang. The six-year-old picked it up, and said, “Hi, Daddy!”, and began telling him about her day. She then passed the phone to her brother and sister, as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work.

When it was finally the wife’s turn to talk, she took the receiver, and said, “Hi, Hon.”

“Thank goodness, Lady,” the voice on the other end replied. “I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered has arrived!”

~~~

He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.

Persian proverb

~~~

Jill went to a “Dude Ranch”. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if Jill wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was.

When he told her one had a horn and one didn’t, Jill replied, “The one without the horn is fine.  I don’t expect we’ll run into too much traffic.”

~~~

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”

Mother Teresa

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Don’t let them infect you!

I just don’t deal with the negativity. I can’t get involved in that side of it. I don’t understand it, and you can’t let it take away from your life and what you are trying to do.

Rick Pitino

 Dont be negative

At breakfast yesterday with a consultant friend I suggested we should feel sorry for the soreheads, complainers and naysayers as they live such unhappy lives. I just wish they would use some of the energy they use trying to make the rest of us miserable on finding how they can live happier lives. What is really sad is how many of us let them suck us in to their dark vision of the world around us.

I am disheartened when I hear people who offer mostly hatred at a time when we need more tolerance and understanding. We have become so polarized that many have lost sight of the fact that we are all in it together. It seems like many are becoming almost tribal as they work to destroy instead of finding ways we can work together to build. Individualism is great but we must not lose sight of the fact that what has made our society work has been the strong individuals who have worked together building practical consensus as we worked to sustain a better society.

History has shown that hate just make things worse. If you find negativism sneaking up on you, you might find this antidote suggested by respected career coach Beate Chelette helpful.

Excerpts from Article: How to Disconnect from Negativity

You will find that I like acronyms and tools. It’s easier to remember something if we can build a bridge in our minds. We are talking about K.A.R.L. which stands for Know, Accept, Relax, Live.

In this article I’d like to take a closer look at an often overlooked yet pleasant side effect of acceptance.

Energetically the process is simple. What you put out you will get back. If you expect bumps there will be plenty. If you expect difficulties and rejection your path will be full of it. The universe is here to agree with you. To ACCEPT what you are putting out. Let’s face it. Tough situations come along in life and a dark cloud sometimes descends over us. It happens to the best of us and at times life just isn’t fair. But while we can’t change what has already happened we can choose how we react.

Idea 1 – When you fall into your personal black hole, allow your thoughts to exist, acknowledge them, thank them, don’t fight them — and know they will pass. Offer no resistance; let your thoughts go right through you and realize that tomorrow will be better. Don’t spend so much time attaching emotions to your issues. Tomorrow you may be able to see that “this too, shall pass.” — Jewish proverb

Idea 2 – Time limit on negativity.

It’s helpful to set a time limit for when you will put a stop to negative thoughts and allow yourself to feel better again. Remember that what happens in your life is part of a phase or rhythm, and leave it at that. If a specific issue is driving you crazy, how about setting a time limit to stop fussing about it by, say, tomorrow morning at 7 a.m.? Then, let it go.

Once you give yourself the time you need to succeed in achieving your own set of benchmarks, you’ll find that making it happen feels pretty good. If you’re still having trouble, then you’ll need to double up on your efforts to accept the things that are fabulous about you, things that people around you compliment you on.

Idea 3 – Still having a hard time overcoming those negative thoughts? You can do what I did and refuse to think that this is all there is. This works exceptionally well for stubborn people such as myself. Thoughts such as, “is that all there is?” and “there has to be something better” are pretty powerful as well. Eventually the universe will agree with you and give you something better.

While it might sound trite, this works: try to focus on the positive aspects of your life–the glass is half full idea–and think about healing and improvement. Make a conscious effort not to dwell on negative thoughts whenever you catch yourself thinking one. This is how you get unstuck and move forward in your life.

~~~

What we focus on, we empower and enlarge. Good multiplies when focused upon. Negativity multiplies when focused upon. The choice is ours: Which do we want more of?

JULIA CAMERON

~~~

THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON’T SAY

My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire…

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

~~~

Middle-aged wife to husband at computer: “Yes, honey, I think you can safely assume that a romantic e-mail from Paris Hilton is a prank.”

~~~

Nathan is talking to his lawyer. “Here’s the deal, Abe. If you’re absolutely sure I’ll win the case, I’ll give you the business.”

“OK,” replies Abe, “but before I can give you my opinion, I obviously need to know the facts.”

So Nathan goes into great detail about his failed partnership and ends up saying, “So now you’ve heard everything, do you think I can sue my partner and get my money back?”

“Well,” replies Abe, “from what I’ve just heard, it’s clear to me that you will win. It’s rare to have such an open-and-shut case.”

Nathan goes very white when he hears this.

“What’s the matter?” asks Abe.

“I told you my partner’s side of the case,” replies Nathan.

~~~

“Whatever you’re ready for is ready for you.”

Mark Victor Hansen

~~~

Looking at his portly patient, the doctor hands him a prescription and says, “Mr. Jones, you should make sure that you try to take these pills on an empty stomach…if such an opportunity ever presents itself!”

~~~

“If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that.”

Milton Jones

~~~

When you have three boys, it’s hard to know whom to blame if something goes wrong in the house. One father explained to a friend how he solved the problem:  “I send all three to bed without letting them watch television.  In the morning I go after the one with the black eye!”

~~~

Treat each day as your last, one day you will be right.

~~~

At the urging of his doctor, John moved to Arizona.

After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.

“Say, is this really a healthy place?”

“It sure is,” the man replied.

“When I first arrived here I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn’t have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed.”

“That’s wonderful!” said John. “How long have you been here?”

“I was born here.”

~~~

Negativity sucks away energy. If part of the negativity stems from your attitude or perspective, commit yourself at the beginning of each day and each activity to find something positive in yourself and in others around you. If the people around you are negative and you can’t change that, either remove yourself from the situation or view it simply as one obstacle you face in pursuing your own potential. Stay focused on your own goals and make the best of the situation.

TERRY ORLICK

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I have been missing a lot

“See with your ears and hear with your eyes.”

Ken Kesey

love listening

Wow! My life is changing! After much deliberation and advice I took the plunge and got a new set of hearing aids. They cost about three times as much as my first brand new car that I bought many years ago. I was unprepared for the result of using the new aids since while I realized that I was having difficulty hearing everything with my former aids I thought I was doing pretty well. Once I put these on it was bad news and good news. The bad news is that my car has started to rattle and make funny noises, not only that all the mechanical clocks in the house have started to constantly go tick tock. But the good news is that I have discovered I had not only missed a lot but often sat back missing what was going on around me.

Sunday was Mother’s day and we were at one of my daughter’s home along with lots of others and for the first time in years I was not sitting in the corner appearing to be the ultimate wet blanket. I heard everyone and found that they were even more interesting than I thought they were. What a great experience, I now can understand why people laugh at something rather than wondering what was so funny. The ambient noises in my world are back, the birds have started singing again, whole sentences are being said and heard. It is wonderful. I now believe that in part we see with our ears.

I have always tried to be the best listener I can be and regularly feedback to folks what I think I hear and sure enough often we need to clarify. I will continue to do that to make sure we both agree on the content but I fully expect it will not be because I did not hear what they said. I honestly feel I will be more functional and will enjoy more of the world around me.

Life is great and it is wondrous when you discover it can even get better. I especially want to thank all of you who have tolerated my failings; maybe I am not as dumb as I am sure I often appeared to be. Please keep joy in your heart and a song on your lips for I am ready to listen. Thanks everyone.

~~~

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”

Ernest Hemingway

~~~

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? And….What the word team means?”

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

“Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?”

The little boy nodded yes.

“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?”

Once again the little boy nodded.

He continued, “And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach a “dumb ass” is it?”

Again the little boy nodded.

“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother.”

~~~

Before resolving to jog five miles a day, visit a cardiologist to have your heart examined, a podiatrist to have your feet examined and a psychiatrist to have your head examined.

~~~

The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.

One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. “I just got some news, Mom,” he said. “The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They’ve decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?”

“What do I think?” his mother said. “Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don’t think I could stand another one of these Canadian winters!”

~~~

To be able to look back upon one’s past life with satisfaction is to live twice.

Marcus Valerius Martial

~~~

She said: Needing to shed a few pounds, my husband and I went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. I followed the instructions closely, dividing the finished recipe in half for our individual plates. We felt terrific and thought the diet was wonderful. We never even felt hungry!

But when we realized we were gaining weight and not losing it, I checked the recipes again. There in fine print, it said, “Serves 6.”

~~~

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn’t music.

William Stafford

~~~

A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, “Honey, are you ready yet?”

Shouting back, the woman replies, “For crying out loud, I’ve been telling you for the last half hour that I’ll be ready in a minute!

~~~

There are two places where you’ll never see a clock… in Las Vegas casinos and in Doctors’ waiting rooms.

~~~

“Normal” is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to the job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it. Wanna be normal??

~~~

I’m addicted to placebos. I’d give them up, but it wouldn’ make any difference.

Steven Wright

~~~

Jack hadn’t been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting, saying,

“You look like Helen Brown.”

“Well,” the woman snapped back, “you don’t look so great in blue either!”

~~~

“The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as of being heard.”

William Hazlitt

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I appreciate your smile

“Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.”

Mary Lou Retton

welcoming-smile

I had lunch the other day with a friend who has one of those front of the store jobs. You know they are the first person you see when you enter, maybe a restaurant hostess, receptionist, member of a flight crew at the door, we meet greeters everywhere. My friend was sharing her dismay with the fact that so many folks don’t even acknowledge the welcome or even worse they make some disgruntled remark. She said it sometimes makes her feel that they think they are superior and that the folks that take care of the public are viewed by some as no more than lowly servants.

While I understood what she was saying my mind thought about those who have lost a part of their humanity and live such unhappy lives that they need to put others down. I feel sorry for them. I know the feeling as I have often been rebuffed while ringing bells for the Salvation Army at Christmas time by unhappy people. I wish them well and don’t let their negative attitude bother me. I also just love to treat everyone I greet as being special, I may compliment them on their jacket or on their children or just their happy face. A habit that I have gotten into is letting them know at the time or even later if possible on how much I appreciated their smile. Doing that helps me stay focused on the good in people and not letting others negativism fester, for when that happens it is not the culprit that suffers but those of us who let their behavior get to us.

Try it, tell someone you meet, possibly that guy or gal at the front of the store how much you like their smile, heck you might even ask their name for everyone we meet is a possible new friend. Positive will always trump negative if you just appreciate the good guys and feel sorry for the unhappy folks.

~~~

“Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, “This is the real me,” and when you have found that attitude, follow it.”

William James

~~~

I was visitin’ over at the old Perfesser’s, when little Maury came over, tugged on my pants leg and excitedly exclaimed, “I got a new bicycle, do you want to see it?”

I said, “Sure, little Maury.”

So off to the backyard we went. When we got there, I saw his brand new bicycle.

“Boy, Maury!! That’s a beautiful bicycle,” I complimented. “Can you ride it?”

“Yeah, I can ride it,” he said, then with a sad face he pouted, “but it’s broke.”

I looked at the new bicycle and couldn’t see anything wrong with it, so I asked him, “Well, what’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know,” little Maury shrugged, “but every time I ride it, it falls down!”

~~~

We should all swap problems; everyone knows how to solve the other fellow’s.

~~~

You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?” asked the judge.

“Yes,” answered the suspect.

“And what did you steal?”

“A dress, Your Honor,” replied the subject.

“One dress?” echoed the judge. “But you admit breaking in four times!”

“Yes, Your Honor,” sighed the suspect. “But three times my wife didn’t like the color.”

~~~

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Leo Buscaglia

~~~

The budget-minded women was always clipping coupons in the young, lean years when she was first married, and even kept detailed records of how much money she saved. One of her first jobs way back then was running the cash register at the local drugstore. One day, she had a self-conscious young man approach the counter to buy some condoms. She noticed a dollar-off coupon on the box and asked him if he’d like to use it, adding that she and her husband had saved over $400 redeeming coupons last year. The stunned young man replied, “On these?!”

~~~

“To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.”

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

“I’m prescribing these pills for you,” said the doctor to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at about three hundred pounds. “I don’t want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time….”

~~~

People who cough incessantly never seen to go to the doctor, they go to banquets, concerts, and church.

~~~

A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. “Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!” she screams.

Ground control receives her call for help and answers back: “Don’t worry, madam. I’ll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position”

“I’m 5″2′ and sitting in the front”

~~~

“Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.”

William Makepeace Thackeray

~~~

David wasn’t feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked.

After a thorough examination, the doctor said, “Well David, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking.”

“I see,” said David. “Well, to be honest with you Doc, let’s go with second best.’

~~~

The enjoyment of life would be instantly gone if you removed the possibility of doing something.

Chauncey Depew

~~~

Jewish Mothers don’t differ from any other in the world when it comes to bragging about their sons.  One Mother, trying to out-do another when it came to opportunities available to their just graduated-from-college sons said, “My Irving has had so many fine interviews, his resume is now in its fifth printing.”

~~~

Benny the psychiatrist got a postcard one morning from one of his patients. It read, “Having a wonderful time. Wish you were here so you could tell me why.”

~~~

“Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.”

Mahatma Gandhi

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Yea, it’s here

Spring has returned.  The Earth is like a child that knows poems.

Rainer Maria Rilke

SpringHasSprung

It looks like Spring has decided to stay in my part of the world. Winter did make some last gasp visits over the past few weeks but hopefully we will not be revisited again until late fall. It is invigorating to be out among a bevy of spring flowers in balmy weather. My farmer friend said they are back in the fields planting the sweet corn I love so much.

The other harbinger of the season is the reopening of the farmers markets and tomorrow I will be visiting one of my favorites. While there will not be much produce the stands will be loaded with flowers, cheeses, baked goods, meats and so much more. If you need to find me early in the morning on a Saturday from now until autumn try a local farmers market.

Here are a few suggestions from Dani that she published on her Positively Present blog the other day that you might consider if it is also Spring in your neck of the woods.

 

WAYS TO ENJOY SPRING

Take a really long walk. This is the time of year to get out of the house and enjoy the cool breeze and the warm sunshine. With all the stuff we have going on today, taking a walk can seem, well, boring—but I swear, in the springtime, it’s different. Even places you’ve walked a hundred times before seem like new with fresh buds blooming and the warm spring sunshine shining down.

Eat outdoors. What’s better than eating outdoors with the sun beating down and warming you surrounded by all the green blossoms? When the weather’s nice, eating outdoors is such a great way to enjoy the season. By mid-summer it’s something we all start to take for granted, so really appreciate now while you can still remember the chill of winter. 

Seek spring-ness. It’s so easy to take for granted the turning of the seasons—after all, they happen four times a year!—but don’t waste this chance to be truly present by embracing the newness of spring. Look for all the little details—the budding plants, the growing grass, the chirping birds—and this mindfulness will help you make the most of the season.

Draw back the drapes. Unwind the blinds, push open the windows, and let that sounds, smells, and sights of spring indoors. Spending time outdoors isn’t always an option, so when you can’t get outside, bring the outside in. The simple act of opening the curtains can be a celebration of spring.

Smell the roses. Cliché as it might sound, stopping to smell the roses (or any flower, for that matter) is such a great way to embrace spring. Even if you’re not a huge flower lover, taking a quick whiff of blooming bud will help you appreciate the gifts of spring—and getting up close with a flower is a great way to notice how amazingly detailed nature can be.

Turn your face to the sun. Yes, you’re not supposed to look at the sun—but try closing your eyes and just tilting your face skyward for a few minutes. Doesn’t it feel great to just bask in the warmth of spring? Every sunny day, try to do this for a minute or two (just don’t forget to put sunscreen on first!). 

Visit a new place. To get an even better look at what’s happening with nature, take a visit to a place you’ve never been before. It’s inspiring to see spring blooming in other locales—and you may even notice signs of spring you’ve never noticed before. Going somewhere new is always a great way to stay present, too!

 

Every year we get to watch the rebirth of the land around us as leaves reappear on trees while spring flowers bring a rainbow of colors to brighten our day. The first shoots of the plants that will soon provide us sustenance are breaking through the soil while the birds add music to our day. What a joy it is to share in the rebirth and the rejuvenation that awaits those of us who join in the festivities.

~~~

And Spring arose on the garden fair,

Like the Spirit of Love felt everywhere;

And each flower and herb on Earth’s dark breast

rose from the dreams of its wintry rest.

Percy Bysshe Shelley

~~~

A guy goes into the doctor’s office.

There is a banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot stuck in one nostril, and a cucumber in the other ear.

The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?”

The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you’re not eating right”

~~~

Leadership is doing what is right when no one is watching.

George Van Valkenburg

~~~

While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face.

As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine,” I said, touched by her concern.

“Oh, good,” she continued.  “So will you be vacating your parking space now?”

~~~

The only receipt you don’t save is the only one you’ll need later.

~~~

Little Johnny comes downstairs crying. His mother asked, Whats the matter now? Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer, said little Johnny through his tears.

That’s not so serious, soothed his mother. I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?

I did! sobbed Johnny.

~~~

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

Alex Levine

~~~

Dear Grandson:

I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen everyday.

As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see John. Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention.

When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn’t like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.

After such a busy day, I’m really tired and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life. Oh yes, I’m also flirting with Al Zymer.

Love, Grandma

P.S. The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him, “Oh I do it all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself, “Now, what am I here after?”

~~~

The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created Spring.

Bern Williams

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Want to have a great day? Stay positive.

Dwell on the beauty of life.  Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.

Marcus Aurelius

I Choose To Be Happy

I went to see my Pulmonologist yesterday. He checked my lungs, had his staff read out my history on my Continuous Positive Air Pressure (CPAP) sleep machine and more. He finished our visit with the secret to a long life that I thought I would share with you, he said “keep breathing”. I truly am fortunate to have such wise medical professionals managing my health.

Since I have made the commitment to keep breathing I thought I might as well stay happy doing it so I plan on continuing to enjoy life and be happy in the process. The always wise Marc Hack offered some tips recently that are available to happiness seekers. Here is an edited version of what he shared:

 

7 Positive Things You Should Say Today

1.  “I have a choice.” — It is not your talents or abilities, but your choices that ultimately decide your fate. You ARE your choices. Until you can look at yourself in the mirror and honestly say, “I have a choice.  I am here now because of the choices I’ve made in the past,” you will never be able to say, “I choose differently.”

2.  “Let’s get started!” — You can’t build anything wonderful with ideas of what you are going to do someday.  If you want something, you have to make a little noise, declare it and then get started. In the end it doesn’t matter what you’re thinking, it matters what you’re doing.  Whatever you want to accomplish, it’s time to get started.

3.  “I have what it takes.” — The worst enemy of today is your self-doubt.  The moment you doubt whether you can do something is the moment it becomes impossible for you. You have to believe in yourself.  You have to trust yourself.  You might be nervous, but don’t you ever let any source of negativity in the world convince you that you don’t have what it takes.

4.  “Hello, how can I help you?” — In life, you get what you put in. Generally speaking, the unhappiest people you will ever meet will be those who are utterly self-absorbed; the happiest people you will ever meet will be those who lose themselves in the joy and challenge of helping others.

5.  “Look how far I’ve come.” — The way you move a mountain is by moving one stone at a time.  Every stone you move, no matter how small, is progress. Sometimes it may be hard to see your progress.  Sometimes it will be frustrating when the results you seek don’t appear as quickly as you had hoped.  Still, you are advancing.  You may be moving along slowly, but you are still moving a mountain. Take a break every now and then and pat yourself on the back.  Applaud yourself for doing what needs to be done.  And be careful not to spend so much time looking at how far you still have to go, that you forget to appreciate how far you’ve already come.

6.  “I have more than enough to be happy.” — The happiest of people aren’t the luckiest, and they usually don’t have the best of everything either.  They simply make the most of everything they do have.  The reason so many people are unhappy is because they tend to look at what’s missing in their life, instead of what’s present. Appreciate the things you have that so many others dream about.  Scream it out loud if you must:  “I am lucky to be alive!  I am happy to be me right now!  I have way more than I need and so much to be grateful for!  My life isn’t perfect; it’s just pretty darn good!”

7.  “ … ”– That blank space denoted by “ … ” is no mistake.  That space represents silence. Silence is soothing.  Silence is peace.  Silence is divine. The more silent you are, the more you can hear yourself think. Each silent moment is different, yet all are beautiful if you listen carefully.  Leave enough space in your day to enjoy the space between the commotions.  Say nothing, think quietly, just be and breathe.

~~~

Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.

Buddha

~~~

FROM: laocoon@d…

TO: all

SB: Greeks bearing gifts

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! IF YOU RECEIVE A GIFT IN THE SHAPE OF A LARGE WOODEN HORSE DO NOT DOWNLOAD IT!!!! It is EXTREMELY DESTRUCTIVE and will overwrite your ENTIRE CITY!

The “gift” is disguised as a large wooden horse about two stories tall. It tends to show up outside the city gates and appears to be abandoned.

DO NOT let it through the gates! It contains hardware that is incompatible  with Trojan programming, including a crowd of heavily armed Greek warriors  that will destroy your army, sack your town, and kill your women and children. If you have already received such a gift, DO NOT OPEN IT! Take it back out of the city unopened and set fire to it by the beach. FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

Poseidon

—–

FROM: hector@s…

TO: laocoon@d…

RE: Greeks bearing gifts

Laocoon,

I hate to break to you, but this is one of the oldest hoaxes there is. I’ve seen variants on this warning come through on other listservs, one  involving some kind of fruit that was supposed to kill the people who ate it and one having to do with something called the “Midas Touch.”

Here are a few tipoffs that this is a hoax:

1) This “Forward this message to everyone you know” crap. If it were really meant as a warning about the Greek army, why tell anyone to post it to the Phonecians, Sumerians, and Cretans?

2) Use of exclamation points. Always a giveaway.

3) It’s signed “from Poseidon.” Granted he’s had his problems with Odysseus but he’s one of their guys, isn’t he? Besides, the lack of a real header with a detailed address makes me suspicious.

4) Technically speaking, there is no way for a horse to overwrite your entire city. A horse is just an animal, after all.

Next time you get a message like this, just delete it. I appreciate your concern, but once you’ve been around the block a couple times you’ll realize  how annoying this kind of stuff is. Bye now, Hector

~~~

You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

~~~

Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court judge said, “and I’ve decided to give your wife $275 a week.”

“That’s very fair, your honor,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”

~~~

You’ve got to dance like nobody’s watching and love like it is never going to hurt.

Ann Wells

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Worry Less – Enjoy more

Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to things and people that stress you out.

Thema Davis

stressed

If you are like most of us you have a bad day every once in a while. If I am down but have obligations I still try never to let others down which can result in stress overload. Fortunately I have learned that these things pass and it is not worth wasting time adding fuel to the fire, so I just go on and do my best to ignore whatever it is that was bothering me. I know it is not easy, we can be our own worst enemy if we excessively focus on problems and do not work on getting out of our misery. In my case I have spent enough time in my life worrying about what might happen that I have used up most of my capacity for self-inflicted woe.

If you need help dealing with bad days you might find this advice offered by Elizabeth Scott, M.S. worth consideration.

Stop Stressful Days In Their Tracks–Every Day Can Be A Better Day!

We’ve all had stressful days. But some days can be particularly stressful, and require some extra efforts toward stress relief. When you feel overly stressed, the challenges of your day can pile up and feel bigger than they are, making “those days” feel overwhelming. The following tips can help you to de-escalate the stress you experience when you’re having “one of those days,” and turn a bad day into a day of promise.

•Take A Meditation Break – A well-timed meditation session can feel like a mini-vacation when you’re having an overwhelming day. Regular meditation brings cumulative benefits, but even a five-minute meditation can help put you in a better frame of mind so that whatever stressors come, you’ve got them handled.

•Use Reframing Techniques – Sometimes stress is all in how you look at it! If you see something as a threat vs. a challenge, for example, it will bring more stress. If you’re catastrophizing, ‘shoulding all over yourself’, or unwittingly using other cognitive distortions to add to the stress of your day, stop.

•It’s Okay To Say No – Sometimes we have One Of Those Days because we have so many commitments stacked up on each other that one false move leads to a string of minor crises. One way to avoid doing this is to only take on commitments that are really important to you and directly help you fulfill your most valued goals, like ‘keep my job’ or ‘be a good parent’. It’s important to learn how to say no to other more periphery commitments, even if people will be disappointed.

•Locate A Supportive Shoulder – Sometimes it helps just to have a sympathetic ear or an active listener to tell your troubles to, to ‘get it out of your system’, or to feel validated and supported. If you are someone who does better with the supportive ear of a good friend (and can avoid rumination when telling your tale), then go for it! Research on coping styles shows that social support can be a wonderful stress release, and can lower cortisol levels as well. So let your friends help you, and you can return the favor when your friend has One Of Those Days in the future.

•Have A Sense of Humor – Laughing in the face of stress is a good way to rob it of its power. And, fortunately, there are other benefits of laughter as well. Practice maintaining your sense of humor on an overwhelming day and the world laughs with you!

•Just Breathe –  A quick and effective way to feel much less stressed anytime, anywhere? Breathing exercises! Try taking a few deep breaths right now, and see how much more relaxed you can be. Then you can reverse your body’s stress response, improve your mood, and press ‘restart’ on your bad day. Or at least suck some of the stress right out of it!

~~~

Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.

Marilu Henner

~~~

A man went to apply for a job.  After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications and said, “We have an opening for people like you.” “Oh, great,” he said, “What is it?” “It’s called the door!”

~~~

I’m on a diet because my skin doesn’t fit me anymore.

Erma Bombeck

~~~

he said:

There are only two things to worry about.

Either you are well or you are sick.

If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you are sick, there are only two things to worry about.

Either you will get well or you will die.

If you get well, there is nothing to worry about.

If you die, there are only two things to worry about.

Either you will go to heaven or hell.

If you go to heaven there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with friends you wouldn’t have time to worry!

~~~

Achievers have an attitude of expectancy. They minimize their losses. They do not grieve over failures or what might have been. Achievers look around the corner in anticipation of the good things that still await them.

Allan Cox

~~~

One morning the doorbell rang. The weather was very bad. It was raining cats and dogs. I opened the door and there stood a young girl-a Jehovah’s Witness, soaking wet. I felt sorry for her and asked her to come inside for a cup of coffee and to dry off a little.

As we sat and drank our coffee, I asked her what her ‘happy message’ was. I thought perhaps we might discuss some difference of belief, but she stuttered and said. . .

“Gee, I’m not sure, I never got this far.”

~~~

Men are free to do whatever they please, just as long as their wife okays it.

~~~

Three guys are about to be executed and they are asked what they wish to have for their last meal.

The Italian responds, “Pepperoni Pizza,” which he is served and then executed.

The Frenchmen requests a Filet Mignon, which he is served and then executed.

The Jew requests a plate of strawberries.

“STRAWBERRIES?”

“Yes, strawberries.”

He is told,  “But they are out of season!”

“So? I’ll wait . . . ”

~~~

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

Mark Twain

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

What did he say?

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

George Bernard Shaw

effective-communication

I had breakfast yesterday with a friend who I think is an effective communicator. Our discussion centered on touching someone’s interests through the message you offer resulting in their taking some action; it may be buying a product, changing a behavior or joining a cause. It seems to me that too many these days believe that a pretty visual slide presentation will do it, or a flowerily message or one loaded with facts and figures is all that it takes to reach someone.

In my experience the key is to understand the audience, just because I think they need something does not mean that they do. My goal has to be for them to perceive that what I am offering has merit and not just because I say it does. What I have found interesting over the years has been how often I asked why should someone buy a product and find that the salesman did not have a rational answer other than because it was available and worked. I really think we need more empathy, more simplicity and clearer benefits to the person we are communicating with. I especially abhor communications that depend on the listener having special skills such as knowledge of computer techniques or familiarity with fashionable acronyms, keeping messages simple and easy to absorb is always better.

Here are excerpts from an article in the Houston Chronicle that I think is on target.

 

Effective Marketing Communication

Know Your Customers

Before you begin to create a message, think about your target market. Actually, try to stop thinking about your customers as your target market for a moment, and picture the individuals who might have an interest in your offer. Then write as if you were speaking to them. This will set the tone for your ad, web page, sales letter or email. If you sell services to businesses, you will be addressing corporate decision makers, so your writing will have a different tone than it would if you were selling jeans to teenage girls.

Focus on Benefits

Don’t just cover the features of your product or service; tell your prospects how these features will benefit them. If you offer video production services, for example, explain to them how adding a professionally produced video to their website will increase conversion rates. Put the focus on your customer instead of on your company. Instead of saying “we have the largest selection of wallpaper in town,” invite customers to “browse through our selection of thousands of styles and find the wall covering that’s perfect for your home.”

Be Outstanding

Let your customers know what they can expect from you that they won’t get from your competitor. Instead of using vague generalities such as “great customer service,” tell them exactly how you will respond to their specific needs. Do you deliver to a larger area than your competition does? Are you open later? You might consider sending out a simple survey to determine what your prospects are looking for the most–then be the company that fills that need.

Keep it Simple

Don’t complicate your message. Keep it concise and direct. Avoid phrases such as “innovative business solutions,” “superior customer service,” “money-making system” or any other clichés you might be tempted to use. You’ll recognize them because you’ve heard them so many times they’ve begun to lose their meaning. Whenever possible, add testimonials. Some of your current satisfied customers may be happy to give you a positive review if asked.

~~~

“Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people.”

William Butler Yeats

~~~

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”

Customer: “Ok.”

Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok.  Right click again.  Do you see a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok, sir.  Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”

Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote click’.”

~~~

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

Josh Billings

~~~

A Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen display counter and pointed to a tray. “I’ll have a pound of that salmon,” he said.

“That’s not salmon,” the clerk said, “it’s ham.”

“Mister,” the customer snapped, “in case nobody ever told you, you got a big mouth!”

~~~

“I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.”

Al McGuire

~~~

The sermon had been going on too long, and the Minister should have been able to see the congregation getting more than a little restless; he droned on none-the-less for yet another 15 minutes.  Finally he paused and said, “What else can I say Brothers and Sisters?”

“How about ‘Amen’ Preacher?” said a hungry soul from the rear of the Church.

~~~

“I took up meditation. I like to have an espresso first just to make it more challenging.”

Betsy Salkind

~~~

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair.  One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”

~~~

Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

~~~

I am passing this on to you because,  I think I have found inner peace.

I read an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish things I had started.

Today I finished two bags of potato chips, a chocolate pie, a bottle of wine, and a box of chocolate candy.

I feel better already.

~~~

“The two words information and communication are often used interchangeably, but they signify quite different things. Information is giving out; communication is getting through.”

Sydney Harris

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Good advice?

People who want the most approval get the least and people who need approval the least get the most.

Wayne Dyer

you-dont-need-approval

Here we go again another week. I plan on this one being really good. I only have two doctor’s appointments, no medical tests and a couple of meals with people I really enjoy. Oh and besides that I get fitted for my new whiz bang hearing aids that will eliminate my “I didn’t hear you” excuses. There are some other things that will fill most of the available time but I don’t expect to go into overload.

~~~

On another subject as you know if you have been reading my Daily lately I have been considering rebalancing my commitments. Often these moves will make some people unhappy and others critical. You have probably heard me in the past say that I have gotten to the point where I don’t think I have to please everyone and that this is as good as I get, you can take me or leave me it is up to you. I just wish it was that easy for there are people I care about who sometimes don’t approve of my actions or beliefs and the loss of their approval is discomforting. Yet those of us who limit ourselves by requiring the approval of those around us usually live the mundane and non-productive lives of those who never rock the boat.

While I recognize that you can’t please everyone and that you must be true to yourself I do find listening to criticism and considering alternative actions to be worthwhile. I know that often I am wrong and the information and advice of others puts me on the right track. But equally important is finding after review that a critic can be wrong. Some of the things I think about when reviewing criticism are:

  1. Does the critic have less knowledge and experience than I have on the subject?
  2. Do I have the same information as the critic does?
  3. Is the critic expressing personal bias?
  4. Does the critic have a vested interest?

If the answer to one or more of these questions is yes than it is easier to feel good about not letting the lack of approval bother me. The important thing is to consider the criticism and not reject out of hand or to defensively respond. In my experience friends who are worth your time will respect our differences and allow our relationships to continue on an even keel.

Oh and by the way there is nothing wrong with being wrong and reversing your opinion. Some people are shocked when I tell them they are right and I was wrong. Openly changing your opinion based on fact is much better than trying to defend a mistake, doing that will only make folks think you are pretty dumb.

~~~

“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”

Raymond Hull

~~~

Extra, Extra Read All About It:

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

~~~

Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.

~~~

On his first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the caged stork for a long time. He waved, jumped up and down, and stared at the stork a while longer.

Finally, turning to his father, he exclaimed, “Gee, Dad, he doesn’t recognize me.”

~~~

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

~~~

Morty and Saul, are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking.

Saul says to Morty, “So listen, Morty, you know I don’t swim so well.”

Morty remembered how to carry another swimmer from his lifeguard class when he was just a kid. So Morty is begins tugging Saul toward shore.

After ten minutes, he begins to tire. Finally about 100 feet from shore, Morty asks Saul, “So Saul, do you suppose you could float alone?”

Saul replies, “Morty, this is a he!! of a time to be asking for money!”

~~~

Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child

~~~

Jill wanted a divorce from Todd.  The judge asked, “What fault do you find with your husband?”

“Your Honor, he’s a liar, a brute, a thief and a brainless idiot.”

“That’s very serious,” exclaimed his Honor, “Can you prove all that?”

“Prove it? Why everybody knows it.”

“If you knew all this, then why did you marry him?”

“I didn’t know it before I married him.”

Todd shouted out, “She did too!”

~~~

Education gets you the only important thing in life. An assigned parking space.

~~~

While attending a convention, three psychiatrists take a walk.

“People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears,” one says, “but we have no one to go to with our own problems.”

“Since we’re all professionals,” another suggests, “why don’t we hear each other out right now?”

They agreed this is a good idea. The first psychiatrist confesses, “I’m a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I usually overbill my patients as often as I can.”

The second admits, “I have a drug problem that’s out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me.”

The third psychiatrist says, “I know it’s wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can’t keep a secret.”

~~~

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. “

Albert Einstein

~~~

A customer was really hassling an airline agent at the ticket counter — yelling and using foul language. However, the agent was polite, pleasant and smiled while the customer continued to abuse her.

When the man finally left, the next person in line said to the agent, “Does that happen often? I can’t believe how nice you were to him.”

The agent smiled and said, “No problem, I took care of it. He’s going to Detroit. His bags are going to Bangkok.”

~~~

“Life is too short to waste time waiting for other people’s approval on how you live it.”

Steve Maraboli

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

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