Ray's musings and humor

The brave die never, though they sleep in dust:

Their courage nerves a thousand living men.

Minot J. Savage

memorial-day01

It is a national holiday in my country today and I am taking the day off. But since we have readers now in many other countries I have decided to send you a piece I published on this day in 2006.

~~~

Today is a holiday in the United States, it is our memorial day, a day when many of us stop to remember those have given their lives in battle. For me it is also a time to mourn those who gave us so much of themselves to make a better world and are no longer with us.

I mourn the loss of the unsung heroes, those who died for a worthy cause, those who died protecting our safety, and those who died serving others. We may never know their names but we need to remember that it was these heroes of the past that built the life we have today.

I mourn the loss of Albert Switzer as he inspired so many of my generation to serve others.

I mourn the loss of Mother Theresa as she taught us the value of humility and how kindness can brighten the life of all we touch.

I mourn the loss of Anne Frank who taught us that humanity lives within our hearts and not in the imposed oppression that can be used to imprison our bodies.

I mourn the loss of Helen Keller who showed us that with a good heart and dedication there are few barriers that cannot be overcome.

I mourn the loss of so many that gave me the gift of their wisdom and their friendship, to a large extent it was they who made me what I am today, at least that which is good, the not so good I did on my own.

I miss those who I no longer see, those that held my hand during the bad times and shared my joy during the good times. And I give thanks that so many of you continue to enrich my life.

While I mourn the fact that so many are no longer with us, I celebrate the gifts they gave us.

Ray

~~~

We who are left how shall we look again

Happily on the sun or feel the rain

Without remembering how they who went

Ungrudgingly and spent

Their lives for us loved, too, the sun and rain?

Wilfred Wilson Gibson

~~~

Be careful, many of these laws are still on the books

1-When visiting Louisiana, remember that it is illegal to gargle in public…you can do just about anything else in public, but NO gargling!

2-And be careful that you do not get caught shaving while driving in Massachusetts or you’ll be in real trouble.

3-If you’re going to be driving through Utah, be alert because the birds have the right of way on the state highways.

4-And walking down the streets of Maine with your shoes strings untied is

also illegal.

5-Oh, and in Atlanta, not only is it illegal to tie your giraffe to a telephone pole but if you get caught dressing a mannequin without shutting the window shades, you could be in big trouble.

6-When in Nebraska, keep in mind not to spit against wind because not only is it messy, its also illegal.

7-Eating out in Connecticut became so much more pleasant once the law requiring restaurateurs to provide separate nose-blowing and non-nose-blowing sections, went into effect.

8-And if you decide to order cherry pie while eating in Kansas, don’t waste your time asking it to be served with a scoop of ice-cream on top…it against the law.

9-In California, it’s against the law to peel an orange in your hotel room….I guess its ok to peel it in the hallway & then go into your room.

10-If you’re planning to do any fishing while visiting Chicago, be sure you don’t do it in your pajamas or you might spend the rest of your vacation in jail.

11-And if you’re going to set a fire under your mule, don’t do it in Ohio..yep, its against the law. Can you believe it?

12-Whistling under water will result in more than getting water in your nose, it will also get you put in jail if you do it in Vermont.

13-And while you and your beloved spouse are enjoying the Florida sun, don’t throw dishes if you happen to have a little disagreement with each other. If you break more than 3 a day, you could spend the rest of your vacation eating off of metal trays in the county jail.

We’re not the only ones with the wacky laws. If you’re planning a trip out of the country be aware that….

14-It is illegal to land a flying saucer in the vineyards of France.

15-And last but not least, if you take ill while in Iceland, never seek medical help from anyone who’s shingle reads: “Scottulaejnir”. You see, ANYONE, can practice medicine in Iceland as long as they display this sign. Loosely translated it means, “Quack Doctor”

~~~

“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.”

Jules Renard

~~~

I had just pulled into a parking spot at the home improvement store when smoke and flames began pouring from under my hood. Frantic, I bolted into the store and ran up to the first clerk I saw. As luck would have it, he was standing behind the customer service counter.

“Please help,” I gasped. “My car’s on fire! I need a fire extinguisher!”

Without even looking up, he replied, “Aisle 12.”

~~~

The airline was so cheap that instead of a movie, they put on a high school play.

~~~

She said: I’m writing you to let you know that I have recently been diagnosed with a serious condition and there’s little hope of getting over it. The scientific world is frantically searching for a cure. This is an ailment others also suffer from and may be undiagnosed. It’s called “Butfirst Syndrome.” It’s like when I decide to do the laundry – I start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. Okay, I’m going to do the laundry – Butfirst I’m going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. Okay, I’ll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack, – Butfirst, I’ll look through that pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Now where’s the checkbook? Oops!

There’s the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I’m going to look for that checkbook, – Butfirst I need to put the glass in the sink.

I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water. I put the glass in the sink, and darn it, there’s the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What’s it doing here? I’ll just put it away, – Butfirst I need to water those plants. Head for door and Ack! Stepped on the dog, who needs to be fed. Okay, I’ll put that remote away and water the plants. – Butfirst I need to feed the dog. At the end of day; Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are unpaid, checkbook is still missing, and the dog ate the remote control. AND, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done all day, I’m baffled, because I KNOW I was BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious…and I should get help. Butfirst I think I’ll read all my email!

~~~

“The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.”

Martin Mull

~~~

A New York family bought a ranch out west where they intended to raise cattle. Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch had a name.

“Well,” said the would-be-cattleman. I wanted to call it the Bar-J, my wife favored the Suzy-Q, one son liked the Flying-W, and the other son wanted the Lazy-Y. So, we’re calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y.”

“But, where are all your cattle?”

“So far, none have survived the branding.”

~~~

Our cheer goes back to them, the valiant dead!

Laurels and roses on their graves to-day,

Lilies and laurels over them we lay,

And violets o’er each unforgotten head.

Richard Hovey

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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