Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Back

“How did it get so late so soon?”

Dr. Seuss


Hi everyone, as you can see I made it back after visiting Cozumel, the Grand Caymans, Jamaica and Haiti. Most of my time I spent undercover; I was undercover during my morning naps, my afternoon naps and my extended all night sleeps. The rest of the time I spent with old friends and making new ones. It does not get much better than banking some rest and enjoying the company of others.

While flying home I spent part of the time seated with two women who were returning to their homes in Louisiana’s Bayou country after cruising in the Eastern Caribbean. As we talked we learned that the one thing we had in common was our lack of hesitancy to enjoy life. I envied the fact that they have not waited as long as I did to do things that so many of us put off, some of us to the point of never doing the things we dream about. These days many folks are talking about their so called “Bucket List,” those things they want to do before their life is over. The sad part is that far too many put the things on their someday calendar while these ladies put them on their “Things to do tomorrow” lists. People like these sample so much of what life has to offer that they discover many things that make them happy, things they can continue to do as time goes by. Sadly far more live in dreams of someday and seldom if ever step out of their cages to taste the variety of experiences open to us all.

Our old friend Ralph Marston wrote a piece entitled “The ideal time” some time ago that I think is worth your consideration, here is what he wrote:


If you wait for the ideal situation, it will never come. If you create the ideal situation, it will always be, whenever you choose for it to be. There are plenty of excuses you can make for why this is not the time to act. And while you’re busy making those excuses, someone else is busy taking those same actions that you are merely considering.

The time is right when you make it right. Waiting and hoping for things to get better will just allow things to get worse. If it’s important to you, figure out a way to get started on it now. Because the more you delay, the more you’re telling yourself that it’s really not that important.

Why would you want to spend your time setting yourself up for disappointment? Instead, you can spend that time marching steadily toward your goals. The ideal time is when you make it, and what you make it.

Make it now, and make it great.


Life isn’t about waiting for the right time to come. It’s all about doing all the right things in the time that is given to you.

Author Unknown


Douglas was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked by the doctor, “If a train was coming down the hallway toward you, what would you do?”

Douglas replied, “I would get in my helicopter and fly away!”

The doctor then asked, “Where did you get a helicopter from?”

Douglas replied, “The same place you got the train!”


Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.

Cullen Hightower


Esther had only recently got married and was having a chat with her best friend Becky.

Esther asks, “Tell me, Becky, I’ve forgotten the procedure. When one first gets married, how long should one wait before starting to point out to one’s husband what disgusting habits his friends have?”


“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift of life is yours; it is an amazing journey; and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. ”

Dan Zadra –


“I’d like the number for Rachel Cohen in Brooklyn, New York.” the young man said to the information operator.

“There are multiple listings for Rachel Cohen’s, in Brooklyn” the operator said. “Do you have a street name?”

The young man hesitated a moment, “Well, uh, most people call me “Max.”


After a certain age, if you say something outrageous, everyone will think it’s cute. Take advantage of this.


A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, “You know, honey, I think there might be some real merit to what this article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves a stumbling block to the son.”

“Well, thank heaven,” said the wife, “at least our James has nothing standing in his way.”


Don’t sweat your every mistake or faux pas. They make up for all of the things you got away with that nobody knows about.


The pastor shocked the congregation when he announced that he was resigning from the church and moving to a drier climate. After the service a very distraught lady came to the pastor with tears in her eyes, “Oh, Pastor Bob, we are going to miss you so much. We don’t want you to leave!”

The kindhearted pastor patted her hand and said “Now, now, Carolyn, don’t carry on. The pastor who takes my place might be even better than me”.

“Yeah right”, she said, “That’s what they said the LAST time too!!!”


“The model for the Gerber baby on the jars turns 77 years old today. He’s back to eating Gerber baby food.”

Conan O’Brien


She said: At the data-entry company where I work, the other operators and I share a coffeepot. One morning I took it into the ladies room to fill it with water. Then I began preening in the mirror, brushing my hair and reapplying some makeup.

I didn’t realize how long I’d been until someone slid a note under the door.

“You win,” it read. Any ransom demand will be met. Just release the coffeepot.”


My wife has a slight impediment in her speech – every now and then she stops to breathe.

Jimmy Durante


Myrna and David dated five years, yet not once did David bring up the subject of marriage. Finally, Myrna’s mama sat her down. ‘Darling, I think you’ve waited long enough. The next time you’re out, give him a little hint, OK, Mamala?’

The next Sunday, David took Myrna to their favorite Kosher Chinese Restaurant. As he read the menu, he casually asked her, ‘So Myrna, how do you want your rice? White or fried?’

Without hesitating, Myrna looked up at him, and replied, ‘Thrown.’


Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.

Roger Babson


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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