“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”
I don’t know about you but over the years I have learned just how valuable the ability to appreciate really is and when it comes to people expressing your honest appreciation can be the glue that strengthens the bond between people. I just don’t understand why there are so many folks that seem to have lost their ability to appreciate and often even go out of their way to find fault. It is really foolhardy to believe that your ability to put someone else down raises your stature when in fact it just lowers it.
I also believe that you can refine your appreciation skills to the point that even a small flower along the road can generate as much warm feelings as a great piece of art in a world class museum. It is when we sharpen our ability to appreciate our outlook on the world brightens and we are rewarded with numerous pleasurable moments each day.
Best of all is the many times we discover opportunities to tell someone just how much we appreciate them and what they do. The world would be a much better place if we spent more time telling folks how grateful we are for their service, their friendship, their smile and in my case especially their kindness. So my friends I recommend that you and spend less time finding fault and more time appreciating. Here is an article written by life coach Judy Widener that I think is worth your time, she shares her thoughts on appreciation.
The Politics of Appreciation
We all like to be appreciated. Everyone understands the value of acknowledging others, too. And yet, I observe others passing up hundreds of opportunities to appreciate every day. At this point in my life, I actively look for and pounce on chances to groove on others. But I wasn’t always so magnanimous.
There was a time when I would keep score. When I didn’t feel confident or powerful, appreciating others felt like giving away my power. I felt that I was diminished somehow by the act of giving. I’ve pinpointed 8 ways my weak confidence would block me from appreciating others. Can you relate to any of them?
1. Comparing. You have more stuff and/or power than I do. If I give you acknowledgment, it adds more to your pile and my pile is smaller in comparison.
2. Me first! I need to be appreciated before I’ll feel like appreciating you. I haven’t been appreciated enough, in the right way. My bucket must be full before I’ll feel like adding to your bucket.
3. Competition. There’s a limited supply of stuff and power. Giving any away increases my anxiety about not being able to get enough stuff for myself.
4. Holding a Grudge. You took my stuff (money, success, love, respect, dignity, power) two hours/days/weeks/months/years ago, you jerk, so there’s no way I’m gonna give you a compliment!
5. Judgment. I think you don’t deserve it. The implication is that appreciation must be earned; it’s a reward for effort expended. And I get to decide when you’ve done enough to earn it.
6. Expectation. I don’t want to give you acknowledgement because you’re expecting me to. The gift is a given. My appreciation of you isn’t special to you.
7. Fakeness. I fear you’ll perceive my gesture as disingenuous, that I’m patronizing you, and that you’ll reject my gesture.
8. Fear of Rejection. I feel vulnerable when I appreciate, so I won’t acknowledge you if I’m scared you’ll reject my gift.
I lost a lot of power and energy when I focused on avoiding being bested, or to feeling compelled to keep up with an arbitrary, manufactured standard. Every time I lost power, I lost an opportunity to connect joyfully with another. And isn’t that what makes life worth living?
“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.”
The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why. “I’ll tell you why,” said Deacon Brown. “Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register.”
“Well,” interrupted the dealer, “didn’t you receive them yet?”
“Oh, we received them all right,” replied Deacon Brown. “However, you sent us some golf pencils…each stamped with the words, ‘Play Golf Next Sunday’.”
A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: “So your mother says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she say?” The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”
Daddy, where did I come from?” the seven-year-old asked.
It was a moment for which her parents had carefully prepared. They took her into the living room, got out the encyclopedia and several other books, and explained all they thought she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproductions. Then they both sat back and smiled contentedly.
“Does that answer your question?” her father asked.
“Not really,” the little girl said. “Marcia said she came from Detroit. I want to know where I came from.”
Time may be a great healer but it’s also a lousy beautician.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy. I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.
Your son, Marvin.
P.S. I felt so terrible, I ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed that I could get it back. But it was too late.”
A few days later he received a letter from his father. It said, “Your prayers were answered. Your letter never came!”
“Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?”
The first morning after the honeymoon, the husband got up early, went down to the kitchen, and brought his wife her breakfast in bed. Naturally, she was delighted.
Then he spoke: “Have you noticed just what I have done?”
“Of course, dear. Every single detail!”
“Good. That’s how I want my breakfast served every morning.”
I know what Victoria’s Secret is: Nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
The priest was at the side of a dying man. Whispering firmly, the priest said, “Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!” The dying man said nothing.
The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, “Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?”
The dying man said, “Well, if you really want the truth, until I know where I’m going, I don’t think I should make him mad!”
“Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart.”
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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