Ray's musings and humor

Here’s November

Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine.

Mario Fernandez

 

Can you believe it, November already. Our many friends in the eastern part of the US face weeks if not months to get their lives back in order after the monstrous storms and will never forget October. Let us hope that November treats them kindly…

I can hardly wait for our National elections to be over in but a few days. Those of us in Indiana have been bombarded by vitriolic campaign ad’s and harassing phone calls as the Super Political Action Committees battle for our Senate seat. Politics has become polluted by the millions of dollars being spent by outsiders who have little respect for accuracy nor civility.

 

Enough of that; if you have been reading my Daily for more than a year or two you know I sometimes offer a list of activities that we are to embrace during the month. Rather than generate new thoughts on these events which seldom change from year to year I decided it would be fun to see what I said in the past, so here goes November is:

2004

Good Nutrition Month and the Great American Breakfast Club month− since I am an egg, sausage, and potatoes, breakfast guy I find that these two are somewhat mutually exclusive.

International Creative Child & Adult Month, I know a bunch of creative kids − I just wish I could meet more creative adults.

National Raisin Bread − I hate to tell you but I celebrate Raisin Bread every month.

Real Jewelry Month − I think I will wait for Fake Jewelry Month.

2005

Aviation History Month – This is a great opportunity to look back on the history of flight; the days before long lines, body pat downs, fuel surcharges, airport surcharges, security surcharges, talking to real people surcharges, luggage surcharges, weight surcharges, and the rest. Soon I will only be able to afford simulated flight which I can do by standing up for an hour or so, going from one part of the neighborhood and then getting sent back to where I started from, and then finally sitting in an uncomfortable chair for hours without nourishment, finishing when I find out where my wife hid all my clothes.

Child Safety and Protection Month – my children are all in mid-life so I leave counseling them to their mother.

2006

British Appreciation Month – I don’t think they are talking about the food, I think they mean the people.

Home Education Awareness Month – I am aware, my wife often says “I wish you would learn to…..”

Religion and Philosophy Month – I knew it, they expect us to think too, why do they always save the hard part till last?

2007

International Doll Collectors Month – Sorry I am married and am not allowed to participate.

2012

Let’s have or own month, we really don’t need others to motivate us so I declare November to be “We’re All in it Together Month” for we are you know, so let’s enjoy each other, care for each other and spread as much warmth and kindness as we can for far too many find little happiness in their lives.

~~~

“In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer”

Albert Camus

~~~

A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary.   On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pants legs to keep his trousers dry.

When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting.   “Pull down your pants,” whispered the pastor. “Uh, Reverend, I’ve changed my mind,” the groom responded. “I think I would prefer the traditional service.”

~~~

I’ve got a mind like a.. a.. what’s that thing called?

~~~

A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City.  The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner. The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the daughter asks her mother, “Mummy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?”, to which the mother replies, “Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come home from work.”

The cabbie, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, “Ahhhhhhh, C’mon lady!!!!  Tell your daughter the truth!!!! For crying out loud. They’re hookers!”

A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, “Mummy, do the ladies have any children?”

The mother replies, “Of course dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?”

~~~

Believe in miracles, but don’t depend on them.

~~~

More church bulletin bloopers:

Don’t let worry kill you – let the church help.

Thursday night – Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, “Put me in My Little Bed” accompanied by the pastor.

Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.

~~~

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: – ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get off the corner, people.”

A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, “Let’s get off that corner…NOW!” Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, “Well, how did I do?”

“Pretty good,” chuckled the veteran policemen, “especially since this is a bus stop!”

~~~

“Never deprive someone of hope — it may be all they have.”

unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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