Ray's musings and humor

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

 

I chatted for a few minutes yesterday with my favorite YMCA wellness coach who monitors my workout activity. She mentioned to me that she had been talking to a mutual friend of ours who is fitness trainer and they discussed how unusual it is for someone my age to consistently show up every weekday morning to invest in their health. I told her I am pleased that I have been able to enhance my wellbeing through the results of my cardio and strength workouts and think of it as a gift I am giving myself and I am only sorry that I waited until so late in life.

As I was driving home after my workout I thought about what she said and it dawned on me that I have been living my life as if it was my job. While I may not get paid I do fulfill a variety of self-imposed duties just as if they were part of a job description. So I have decided to write a position description that I may even use to measure my progress through periodic job appraisals.

Senior Life Specialist

Job Description

  1. Incumbent will maintain a healthy lifestyle. This will include regular exercise, a healthy diet, and periodic medical checkups. Also he will strictly adhere to the instructions provided by his medical support team including consistent use of all medications, transmission of self-test blood and Pacemaker data as required as well as staying within limits outlined by the medical team.
  2. Incumbent is required to regularly fully utilize his mental powers. He will publish a Newsletter five days a week that will report observations that he has made as he thinks about the world around us. He will attend periodic classes and lectures to keep him current on new technology, government affairs, international relations, community status and similar offerings. He will stay current by use of both printed and electronic media.
  3. The incumbent is expected to embrace every opportunity to meet new people and to make new friends. He will focus on all that others have to offer and their worth and not their flaws. He will demonstrate empathy and respect in his daily interaction with others. He will always do what he can to assist others without imposing on them. He will accept criticism with grace.
  4. The incumbent will stay active in the community. He will look for opportunities to bring individuals and organizations together for their mutual benefit. He will volunteer whenever he can truly make a contribution and not just fill space. He will respond positively to individuals and organization who ask for his involvement while avoiding commitments where he is critical or important to their success since his health interruptions have occasionally made him an unreliable resource.
  5. The incumbent will remain happy while sustaining a sense of humor. He will look for the good in people and avoid finding fault. He will value kindness and abhor hate. He will treasure the things he has and the people he meets without the need for more.

 

While there is probably room for improvement in a number of areas it is no wonder my life is so enjoyable. I am fortunate that my vocation has become the sustaining of the good life.

~~~

“What you have to decide… is how you want your life to be. If your forever was ending tomorrow, would this be how you’d want to have spent it? Listen, the truth is, nothing is guaranteed. You know that more than anybody. So don’t be afraid. Be alive.”

Sarah Dessen

~~~

Three mischievous boys went to the zoo one day for an outing, since they had been at school all week.  They decided to visit the elephant cage, but soon enough, they were picked up by a cop for causing a commotion. The officer hauled them off to security for questioning.  The supervisor in charge asked them to give their names and tell what they were doing at the elephant cage.

The first boy innocently said, “My name is Gary, and I was just throwing peanuts into the elephant cage.”

The second added, “My name is Larry, and all I was doing was throwing peanuts into the elephant cage.”

The third boy was a little shaken up and said, “Well, my name is Peter, but my friends call me Peanuts.”

~~~

“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”

Charlie McCarthy

~~~

A group of bats is hanging around, upside down, as usual, mostly sleeping. Suddenly one notices that Charlie is on the floor, standing upright and looking around.

“Hey, Charlie,” he calls out. “What are you doing down there?”

Charlie looks up and says, “Yoga!”

~~~

Q: HOW MANY ZEN BUDDHISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?

A: Three. One to change the lightbulb, one NOT to change the lightbulb, and one to neither change nor not change the lightbulb.

~~~

Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car.

Frantically I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Nancy, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a

terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, “Honey,” I stammered. I always call her “honey” in times like these. “I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard Nancy’s voice, “Ray,” she barked, “I dropped you off!”

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”

Nancy retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car!”

~~~

How do you feel about women’s rights? I like either side of them.

~~~

A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang.  In going to answer it, she tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on to and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver off the hook.

As it fell, it hit the family dog, which leaped up, howling and barking. The woman’s three-year-old son, startled by this noise, broke into loud screams. The woman mumbled some colorful words. She finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband’s voice on the other end say, “Nobody’s said hello yet, but I’m positive I have the right number.”

~~~

“In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.”

Gordon B. Hinckley

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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