It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.”
I was speaking to a new friend recently who is planning on starting a new venture. This will be a major departure from an already successful working life. I don’t know enough to share with you what it is or the motivation that has resulted in the change but I can tell you the impression I got as I listened. My new friend seems to place real value on what she can provide to others doing something that she loves to do.
I could not help but think about another friend who is doing something she wants to do but feels guilty because what she is doing does not generate a large income nor is it viewed as being a prestigious occupation. I think all of us get trapped sometimes in the wrong place because we do not place enough value on the non-monetary opportunities in life. I know it took me a long time to realize I was being paid a nice salary to tolerate less happiness that I might have had if I had not been trapped in career path that included regular promotion and a lucrative income. Fortunately there came a time in my life when I was smart enough to turn down more. Some thought I was crazy when I turned down a relocation that would have doubled my salary, but it has turned out to be one of the smartest decisions I ever made for in retrospect the quality of my life has exceeded even my wildest past expectations.
I recently read an article that talked about the cost of our decisions. It suggested that we become so enamored with what we can achieve when someone offers us a new opportunity that we lose sight of what we will have to give up to do it.
Money could not buy the enjoyment I get by being where I am at. My range of friends is priceless, the things I get to do each day are more valuable than anything I can buy and oh yes, being close to my children and grandchildren provides me a wonderful place to sit as I watch them thrive. I have no reason to envy my new friend I just appreciate that she too is choosing to live a happier life.
I like what our old friend Ralph Marston had to say about how we can succeed when we decide to make happier choices, here is what he said:
What steps to take
When you see someone who is enormously successful, you naturally want to know how he or she did it. Although it can certainly be helpful to understand how others achieve, that’s not really the most crucial factor. For your own success, it is even more important to clearly know what you wish to achieve, and to clearly understand why you wish to achieve it. Once you’re absolutely certain about what and why, you are absolutely able to figure out how.
Even before you could talk, you were able to figure out how to get what you wanted. As your knowledge and experience have increased, so have your skills for reaching your goals. If you’re having trouble attaining any of those goals, it’s not because you don’t know how, or because you can’t figure it out. The problem is you’re not completely clear about exactly what you wish, or not completely sure about why.
It could be that the goal itself is not really yours. If it’s just something you assumed would be nice, that’s not going to give you a strong enough sense of purpose. Dig deep into your purpose and make sure that what you’re working toward is truly what you desire. Once you’re clear about what and why, you’ll know what steps to take.
“Allow the world to live as it chooses, and allow yourself to live as you choose.”
She says there is a difference.
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
“The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.”
Mrs. Ogden went to her doctor and said “Please give me a prescription for the Pill.”
“I don’t think you need the Pill at your age.”
“It relaxes me.”
“But you know the ‘purpose’ of the Pill. It’s not for relaxing,” exclaimed the physician.
“I know,” said Mrs Ogden, “but my daughter dates, and every morning I drop one in her orange juice. Believe me, I feel more relaxed.
“The economy depends on economists about as much as the weather does on forecasters.”
Little Johnny was walking down the beach, and he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and asked, “Are you a Christian?”
“Yes.” she replied.
“Do you read your Bible every day?”
She nodded her head, “Yes.”
“Do you pray often?” Little Johnny asked next, and again she answered, “Yes.”
With that he asked his final question, “Will you hold my quarter while I go swimming?”
When dog food is new and better tasting, who tests it?
A woman was on the witness stand, accused of poisoning her husband. “After you put poison in the coffee, you sat at the breakfast table and watched your husband drink it. Tell me, didn’t you feel the slightest bit of pity for him?” the defense attorney prompted.
“Yes,” she replied, “I think there was one moment when I felt sorry for him.”
“And when was that?”
“When he asked for his second cup.”
“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.”
Robert F. Bennett
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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