Ray's musings and humor

Archive for September, 2012

This going to be another great day

“Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don’t count on harvesting Golden Delicious.”

Bill Meyer

 

I had breakfast with an old friend yesterday who I had not seen for some time. We reminisced about this and that – old friends, shared experiences and global events. As we brought each other up to date we discovered we were like most folks our age, we have had some health issues, a few setbacks and even some trying times. What we soon discovered was that neither of us had stored too many memories of the bad times in our lives but rather our memories overflowed with recollections of good times and highlights of the active lives we both had led. I started to wonder if the vivid memories of so many good times were because I chose to enjoy so much of what took place in my life as it happened or if it is just that fond memories are worth keeping while the others are not. I know in my case I find that experiences I have had result in my ability to face almost any challenge with positive expectations.

After reading the following story I realized that all of us can enjoy more of life if we just approach our challenges with a positive attitude.

Positive Thinking

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!” He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, “I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?” Jerry replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.’ I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.”

“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested.

“Yes it is,” Jerry said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live life.”

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Wanna see my scars?”

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” Jerry replied. “Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.”

“Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked. Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, ‘He’s a dead man.’ I knew I needed to take action.”

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said Jerry. “She asked if I was allergic to anything. ‘Yes,’ I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply… I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Bullets!’ Over their laughter, I told them, ‘I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.”

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

By Francie Baltazar-Schwartz

~~~

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”

Randy Pausch

~~~

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years.  The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said “yes”.

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn’t remember what her answer was! “Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny…” After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn’t remember her answer to the marriage proposal.

“Oh”, she said, “I’m so glad you called. I remembered saying ‘yes’ to someone, but I couldn’t remember who it was.”

~~~

“If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.”

David Carradine

~~~

One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town. Everywhere he saw evidences of the most amazing shooting.  On trees, on walls, and on fences there were numerous bull’s-eyes with the bullet hole in dead center.  The FBI man asked one of the townsmen if he could meet the person responsible for this wonderful marksmanship.  The man turned out to be the village idiot.

“This is the best marksmanship I have ever seen,” said the FBI man.  “How in the world do you do it?”

“Nothing to it,” said the guy.  “I shoot first and draw the circles afterward.”

~~~

Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?

~~~

He said :

A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE warned me that, as my three daughters became old enough to date, I’d disapprove of every young man who took them out. When the time came, I was pleased that my friend’s prediction was wrong. Each boy was pleasant and well-mannered. Talking to my daughter Joanna one day, I said that I liked all the young men she and her sisters brought home.

“You know, Dad,” she replied, “we don’t show you everybody.”

~~~

“Reputation is character minus what you’ve been caught doing.”

Michael Iapoce

~~~

A group of Rabbis were having lunch in “Isaacs White House” kosher restaurant. Unfortunately, Isaac served them watermelon spiked with cherry vodka that he had prepared for another table and he realised his mistake too late to do anything about it. All Isaac could do was wait in his kitchen and expect the worst. As soon as the waiter came back into the kitchen with the empty plates, Isaac grabbed hold of him and asked, “What did they say, please tell me, what did they say?”

“Nothing at all, Mr Isaac,” replied the waiter. “They were all too busy cleaning up the watermelon seeds and putting them into their pockets.”

~~~

Happiness is not by chance; but by choice.

Jim Rohn

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Ray’s ranting again

“Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.”

Aldous Huxley

OK, I know you didn’t ask but it bothers me that our political candidates believe that we are all pretty dumb; I just hope we are not as dumb as they think we are. It seems like almost everything that is being broadcast and most of what is said is an attempt to pander to our prejudices rather than appeal to our intellect. They promise us everything and tell us we don’t have to pay for it. Instead of providing any details on how they can deal with a deteriorating infrastructure, a failing education system, skyrocketing health costs, major global challenges and the like they try to convince us that we don’t need to know just trust that they have all the answers while the other guy has none.

Recently when an advisor to the presidential challenger was asked why they continued to run ads that had been discredited because what they were saying was untrue they responded with they were not going to let fact checkers run their campaign. That sure sounds to me like they are saying that truth is not important and that really saddens me. It is bad enough that experts are hired to mislead us but it is truly sad when they admit that that is what they are doing. Of course the worst thing of all is that misleading works, pandering to our prejudices seems to be effective and helping us to believe that we can have it all without paying for it allows us to bury our heads in the sand.

Balance the budget, sure, just don’t cut my mortgage deduction, my charitable donations, my child care, my…my…my… Plus don’t reduce my Medicare or any of the other things I get from the big government I hate. And oh yes fix the roads, dredge the rivers, and provide me safe water, drugs and food while protecting my nest egg. You can do it, just make someone else pay. And oh yes never cut defense or all that other stuff. I am sorry my friends there is just not enough cuts we could possibly make and get the job done, we also need revenue, but who wants to face that reality these days.

I know one thing that history has shown, if we spend all our time shouting at each other and never talking to each other we will continue to slide. Maybe some of us need to start to think about digging in and trying to solve problems, first be dealing with the facts and then supporting realistic plans. Meanwhile the others can continue to enjoy themselves with Alice in her Wonderland as they wait for the good fairy. The thing I find interesting is how so many of my friends already know all the answers, the thing I don’t understand is how all my other friends who know all the answers have different answers makes me wonder if their answers are based on fact or fiction.

Now I am going to smile and go out into the world and look for the truth.

~~~

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.”

Winston Churchill

~~~

What to Say to Telemarketers

  • The police photographer is still here, and the county medical examiner hasn’t released the body to the coroner yet. Can you call back a little later?
  • You called at the right time, buster. I’ll order carloads of whatever you got just to restore my credit rating. Those turkeys down at the bank go bananas over one little bounced check or two.
  • I’m gonna have to put you on hold. The baby is due any minute now. Quick someone, get some hot water. Lots of it.  Sorry, gotta hurry now, don’t go away.
  • Oh, it’s you again. I was hoping you’d call back.  The better business people said I need more positive identification to file my complaint. Now first let me have your name and telephone number. Hello? Hello?
  • Excuse me, this nice police officer, here, said that I should inform you that my phone is being tapped. Now, what kind of drugs did you say you were selling?

~~~

I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully.

~~~

A young farm girl answers the door. An older neighbor is there. “My father isn’t home,” she says, “but I can help you. You want our bull to service your cow. Well, my father charges one hundred dollars for his best bull.”

“That’s not what I want,” the neighbor says.

“We have a young bull who is just starting out. My father charges fifty dollars for him.”

“That’s not I want, either.”

“We have an old bull out in the pasture,” the girl tries again. “He can still do the job and my father charges only ten dollars for him.”

“That’s not what I want,” the neighbor says. “I came here to see your father about your brother Elmer. Elmer made my daughter pregnant.”

“Oh,” the girl replies. “You’ll have to see my father about that. I don’t know what he charges for Elmer.”

~~~

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

Elayne Boosler

~~~

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.”

“And why not, darling?”

“You know that it always gives you a headache next morning.”

~~~

Why is the person who invests all your money called a broker?

~~~

Six Jewish gentlemen were playing poker at the Condo Clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete the evening of playing standing up.

Finkelstein looks around and asks, “Who’s going to tell the wife?”

They draw straws. Goldberg, who is always a loser, draws the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any worse.

“Gentlemen. ‘Discreet!’ I’m the most discreet man you will ever meet!  ‘Discreet’ is my middle name… Leave it to me.”

Goldberg walks over to the Meyerwitz apartment, knocks on the door. The wife answers, asks what he wants.

Goldberg declares, “Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home!”

She hollers, “Tell him he should drop dead!”

Goldberg says, “I’ll tell him!”

~~~

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.

Ernest Benn

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Some of us need to listen more

“If someone is able to show me that what I think or do is not right, I will happily change, for I seek the truth, by which no one was ever truly harmed. It is the person who continues in his self-deception and ignorance who is harmed.”

Marcus Aurelius

 

This is going to be another great week. I am back with no impending surgery so I can restart my daily exercise routine and get back on my weight loss track. Not only that the Indianapolis theatre and arts scene is back in full swing. Yesterday I saw the Actors Theatre of Indiana’s excellent production of Gypsy at the Studio Theatre located in the Carmel Performing Arts Center. As usual ATI’s outstanding professionals did an amazing job and I highly recommend the show to my Indiana friends. Next week I will be seeing the Civic Theatres production of Chorus Line on the big stage at the Booth Tarkington theatre, I am always amazed by the high quality of the Civics’ offerings and I am sure I will again next Sunday. And I’ll top my September musical comedy experience with the Beef and Board’s production of Chicago, this nationally recognized equity company continues to dazzle in this its fortieth year.

Just so you don’t think I am spending all my time absorbing the rewards that come from attending live theatre I want you to know I also will be attending a lecture on US – China relations at Marian University and a lecture on the Constitution which is the first lecture in the Shepherd’s Center’s Domestic Decisions series. Fortunately there will be time left over to attend various meeting, welcome some of my friends to the Kiwanis experience and more. I am really glad I am retired for if I weren’t I wouldn’t have time for all I get to do.

~~~

Just a quick aside triggered by the political noise that is going on all around US these days; I get somewhat disheartened as I listen to so many that are only interested in telling us what they want us to hear and who have little time to listen to our thoughts. Sometime ago I said that one of the great secrets of living a productive life is the understanding that we don’t know everything and we are not even close to always being right. Those who keep an open mind have a great advantage, they usually are right about many of the things they know and often don’t know very much about things others know. Fortunately their open mind results in two way communication, first offering their thoughts and then listening to another’s view, it is this give and take dialogue that creates a synergism that often brings us closer to the truth.

I know it is not always easy to stop and listen to those who disagree with us, but if we don’t we lose the chance to either validate our opinions or correct our views. I know one thing we are not going to get very far in this country if we don’t quit digging our heels in and start talking to each other.

~~~

“The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.”

E.B. White

~~~

Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake

Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake.

~~~

Farmer Joe was suing a trucking company for injuries sustained in an accident.  In court, the company’s fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?'” asked the lawyer.

Farmer Joe responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the . . .”

“I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted. “Just answer the question.  Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?'”

Farmer Joe continued, “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road . . .”

The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman that he was just fine. Now, several months after the accident, he is suing my client. I believe he is a fraud.  Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

But the judge was interested in Farmer Joe’s story and said to the lawyer, I’d like to hear what he has to say about his mule, Bessie. Joe thanked the judge and proceeded.  “Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side.

“I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other.  I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ol’ Bessie moaning and groaning.  I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. “Shortly after the accident, a highway patrolman came on the scene.  He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her.  After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.  Then the patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me.

“He said, ‘Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her.  How are you feeling?'”

~~~

Take my advice. I’m not using it!

~~~

       You Know Your In Trouble When

A black cat crosses your path and drops dead.

The bride’s family throws rocks instead of rice.

The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.

You take an assertiveness training course and you’re afraid to tell your wife.

You’re so lonely that you invite the peeping Tom in… and he says no.

Your children’s school calls to surrender.

Your mother approves of the person you’re dating.

Your plants do better when you don’t talk to them.

~~~

Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.

~~~

Little Johnny and Little Mary were talking one day. Little Mary asked “what is the highest number you have ever counted up?” “I counted up to 1,279 once” Johnny answered. “WoW!

Really? Why did you stop at 1,279?”

Mary asked. “Because church was over.”

~~~

The best way to prove your inferiority is to espouse you superiority.

Ray Mitchell

~~~

A devoutly Christian couple felt it important to own an equally Christian pet. So, after careful inquiry, they went shopping at a kennel specializing in Christian dogs.  They found a dog they liked quite a lot.  When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash.  When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied eagerly, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed; they immediately purchased the animal, and went home (piously of course).

That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new Christian dog and his religious skills, they called the dog and began showing him off.  The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn’t thought about “normal” tricks.

“Well,” they said, “let’s find out.”   Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, “Heel!”  Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the guest’s forehead, closed his eyes, and began to pray.

~~~

“An open mind is not an end in itself but a means to the end of finding truth.”

Peter Kreeft

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Don’t wait too long

Life is short and it’s up to you to make it sweet.

 

A week or so ago I had breakfast with one of my favorite friends, she is the head of a prestigious leadership organization and a respected consultant. She shared with me that what she liked most about the Daily was that it often reminds us that we are not locked into our current existence via some rigid destiny but rather we are where we are mainly by the decisions we have made over time. Actually she said what she found most valuable was the reminder that we all have choices and far too often we just don’t choose to change. In reality our continuing to live stuck in a rut is a choice, a choice to do nothing and just continue to exist as we are. The sad part is that each day we are stuck in the same old rut is a day lost forever.

For many of us I am sure our failure to do anything different is our fear of the unknown. Fortunately we have plenty of options that require little risk. For example if we find ourselves bored and just always sitting at home all we have to do is go out, go to a museum, go to church, buy a friend a cup of coffee anything but another day of inertia. One of the blogs I follow is Positively Present, they recently published a piece by Brian Tracy and Christina Tracy Stein that I liked and I have listed some excerpts below.

 

No matter where you are today, or what you have done or not done in the past, you need to accept essential truths about you as a person:

  • You are a thoroughly good and excellent person; valuable and worthwhile beyond measure. No one is better than you or more gifted than you. Only when you doubt your essential goodness and value do you begin to question yourself. The inability to accept that you are a good person lies at the root of much of your discontent.
  • You have unlimited potential and the ability to create your life and your world as you desire. You could not use your entire potential if you lived one hundred lifetimes. No matter what you have accomplished up to now, it is merely a hint of what is truly possible for you. And the more of your natural talents and abilities you develop in the present, the more of your potential you can develop in the future. Your belief in your almost unlimited potential is the key to becoming everything you are truly capable of becoming.
  • You create your world in every respect by the way you think and the depth of your convictions. Your beliefs actually create your realities,and every belief you have about yourself you learned, starting in infancy. The amazing thing is that most of the negative or self-limiting beliefs and doubts that interfere with your happiness and success are not based on fact or reality at all.
  • You are always free to choose the content of your thoughts and the direction of your life. The one thing over which you have complete control is your inner life and your thinking. You can decide to think happy,fulfilling, uplifting thoughts that lead to positive actions and results. Or you can, by default, end up choosing negative, self limiting thoughts that trip you up and hold you back. Your mind is like a garden: if you do not deliberately cultivate flowers,weeds will grow automatically without any effort on your part. If you do not deliberately plant and cultivate positive thoughts, negative thoughts will grow in their place. This simple metaphor about the garden explains why so many people are unhappy and don’t know why.
  • There are no limits to what you can do, be, or have except the limits you place on your own thinking and your own imagination. The biggest enemies you will ever face are your own doubts and fears. These are usually negative beliefs, not necessarily based on fact, that you have accepted over the years until you no longer question them.

As Shakespeare wrote in The Tempest, “What’s past is prologue.” Everything that has happened to you in the past has been a preparation for the wonderful life that lies ahead of you in the future. Remember the rule: It doesn’t matter where you’re coming from; all that really matters is where you’re going.

~~~

“If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything.”

Win Borden

~~~

You know you’ve booked a cheap flight when…

1. As you board the plane, you notice the copilot is frowning and wearing an “I’m with Stupid” T-shirt.

2. The Captain announces over the intercom the flight is delayed while he looks for his keys.

3. The airline mechanics, wearing propeller beanies, seem to be pointing and laughing an awful lot, and drinking something from inside brown paper bags.

4. The ground crew is seen using pennies to check tire wear

5. A man with an oily rag hanging from the back pocket of his dirty coveralls, and sadly shaking his head, turns out to be the airline’s CEO

6. A voice on the P.A. system warns you to keep your heads and arms inside the aircraft at all times, while the plane is in motion.

7. The air sickness bags have the Lord’s Prayer printed on them.

8. Jumper cables are dangling from the door to the cockpit.

9. A man in clerical garb walks through the plane, sprinkles all the passengers with water, mumbling something in Latin and exits.

~~~

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What happened?”

~~~

Kids’ Instructions on Life

– Never trust a dog to watch your food.     Patrick, Age 10

– When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents.     Matthew, Age 12

– Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.     Rocky, Age 9

– Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.     Rosemary, Age 7

– Don’t flush the john when your dad is in the shower.     Lamar, Age 10

– Never bug a pregnant mom.     Nicholas, Age 11

– When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?”    don’t answer him.     Heather, Age 16

– Never tell your mom her diet’s not working.    Michael, Age 14

– When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone.   Alyesha, Age 13

– Never tell your little brother that you’re not going to dowhat your mom told you to do.     Hank, Age 12

– Never dare your little brother to paint the family car.     Phillip, Age 13

~~~

“There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.”

Johann von Goethe

~~~

While talking with my semi-deaf uncle one evening, I noticed that his “hearing aid” was actually an earphone from a transistor radio.  The wire had been cut and was sticking out of his shirt.

“How does that help your hearing?” I asked.

“Don’t help my hearing none,” he replied.  “Makes people talk louder.”

~~~

Q: How do you get your spouse to argue with you?

A: Say something

~~~

The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him.  When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, “The captain said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued.”

~~~

You must not expect anything from others. It’s you, of yourself, of whom you must ask a lot. Only from oneself has one the right to ask everything and anything. This way it’s up to you…your own choices…what you get from others remains a present, a gift.

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Ray set a new personal record!

Life is only traveled once; today’s moment becomes tomorrow’s memory. Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the GIFT of LIFE is LIFE itself. Have a nice day.

Author unknown

 

My surgery was a success and I set a new personal record. Up until now the most polyps they ever removed in one setting was seven and yesterday he got eight. These were the smaller guys they left after they did the really big guy a few months ago. They also found that there is still a staple remaining inside from the earlier procedure. While I will have to wait for biopsy reports everything appeared to be precancerous.

Since I was scheduled for a very early appointment I only had a few hours’ sleep as pre-op preparation took most of the night including another half-gallon of purge liquid starting at 1 AM. The good news is that between the anesthetic residual goofiness and no sleep overnight I spent most of the day yesterday sleeping it off. I slept like a baby and I did not wake up crying nor did I require a diaper change.

So now what? Well first I again learned that when you fast, the clock slows down. Second, Weight Watchers is a much easier way to lose weight than gastrointestinal pre-op procedures. Third, any real food tastes wonderful after a day and a half of yucky liquids. And finally the good news, no more GI stuff this year, they won’t go back in until next summer. Now all I have to do is continue to self-administer Lovenox shots until my blood thinners kick back in which I hope only means a few more days of stabbing myself twice a day.

In truth I consider myself fortunate that I have the docs and hospitals available to solve my health problems and that I have Medicare and supplemental insurance to protect us from financial disaster. One more day and I will be back in action, enjoying life, having fun and hopefully doing some good in the process. So what do you say, want to join the refurbished me and tilt a few windmills, if so I am grateful for your company and I’ll see you out there.

~~~

Living in the favorable and unfavorable situation is called Part of living. But, smiling in all those situations is called Art of living.

Author Unknown

~~~

A man who’s known in his small town as a carouser stops his minister on the street one day. “Say, reverend,” says the dissolute fellow, “can you tell me what the cause of gout is?”

The minister sees the question as a good opportunity to teach the man a lesson. “Gout is caused by the intemperate consumption of alcoholic beverages, by gluttony, and by even worse transgressions that I won’t even speak of,” the minister says. “But I will tell you that it is visited upon those who have departed from the way of the Lord and now follow the tortured path of the most abominable sin.”

The minister pauses, then asks, “How long have you had this gout?”

“Oh, I don’t have gout,” the man says. “I was asking because someone told me the bishop has just been diagnosed with it.”

~~~

The tombstone read, Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.  It was.

~~~

She said:

If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

If you’re a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup….. I wanna be a bear.

~~~

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

Joseph Campbell

~~~

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “A dollar per point.”

The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.

~~~

Abe asked, “Is my face dirty or is it just my imagination?”

Mollie answered, “Your face is clean but I don’t know about your imagination.”

~~~

Grandma Levy, always a regular synagogue member, had finally talked her cousin, a woman who had lived a riotous, free life into joining the Temple. “Tell me Rabbi,” the old lady asked, “Do you feel that my cousin will have her sins forgiven after all those years?”

“Yes I do. I’m positive of it. You must remember that the greater the number of sins, the greater the glory.”

“Yeah?” the old lady replied thoughtfully. “Gee Rabbi, I sure do wish I’d known that fifty years ago.”

~~~

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Larry Baum

~~~

A 55 year old man who was born on May 5, has been married 5 years, has 5 children, makes $55,555.55 a year, who’s lucky number is 5 receives a phone call from a friend.

The friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening. Excitedly, the man withdraws 5,555.00 cash from his bank account, goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5.

Sure enough the horse comes in fifth.

~~~

My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they’re just jealous because they don’t have pajamas with feet.

Tom Sims

~~~

Not long after their wedding, the newlyweds awoke early one morning. The couple had been up for quite a while before they met up in the kitchen. Marriage was agreeing with the husband, and he greeted his new wife with glee and excitation that morning.

“If you’ll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart,” said the newlywed bride, “breakfast will be ready.”

“Great! What are we having for breakfast?” he asked “Toast and juice.” replied the bride.

~~~

Each day the world is born anew for him who takes it rightly.

James Russell Lowell

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Another day, another doctor

“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”

Joshua J. Marine

 

 

I hope you had a great weekend and are ready to roll now that most of the summer doldrums are behind us as theatre companies, businesses, schools and the like begin one of the most active parts of the year. In my case nothing much changes except more opportunities for service, an increase in the frequency of meetings, and of course my ongoing stimulus of the health care industry.

In fact today I am fasting and doing the pre-op purge in preparation for my 5:30 AM visit to the surgeons tomorrow. While I do appreciate the weight reduction aspect of the procedure I really don’t find the two-a-day pre and post op self-administered shots that allow me to go without my blood thinner meds to be a personal favorite. This will be the third time in six months they will use my rear end to access my insides, fortunately this time it is just to make sure they got out all the bad stuff last time. The positive benefit of the procedure is that the rest of the month will seem better than it might have been otherwise.

As I think I have told you before I find these medical interruptions to not be worth worrying about so I treat them as events with a start and when they are over I let the memory fade and move on. I think part of life’s adventure are the challenges we face and the things we do to overcome them. I know in my case it is never worthwhile to let the stumbling blocks I encounter slow me down. Having an attitude that fosters belief in our ability to overcome coupled with perseverance results in leaving little time to waste on worry or negativism.

I’ll take positive momentum anytime versus the delays created by negative momentum. Here is what our friend Ralph Marston has written on the subject.

 

If you’ve gotten off to a slow start, now is your opportunity to speed up. If you’ve been disappointed by the results so far, now is the chance to make some effective positive changes. Negative momentum can be powerful. Yet the moment you commit yourself to a positive perspective, that negative momentum is gone.

Stop worrying and complaining about the fact that your day, your week, your month or your life has gotten off to a bad start. Use this moment right now to interrupt the pattern and point yourself in a positive, empowered, fulfilling direction. Your past has brought you where you are, and yet it does not dictate where you can now go. Make the choice to point all of your life in the direction of your dreams.

Even though you may have experienced great difficulty in getting started, choose now to be thankful for those difficulties you’ve gone through. Be thankful for the strength they’ve enabled you to build, and make positive use of that strength going forward.

This time, this moment is different, because now you’re in complete control, and determined to make it great. So no matter what may have happened, get over it, and get going toward the best you can imagine.

~~~

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Max Planck

~~~

A few more from the old Hollywood Squares:

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q: What are “Do It”, “I Can Help” and “Can’t Get it.”? A: George Gobel: I don’t know but it’s come from the next apartment.

Q: Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather? A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

~~~

Sign on a ski lift in Taos, NM: “No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.”

~~~

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.  What are you doing?” She asked.

Hunting Flies” He responded. “Oh. Killing any?” She asked.  Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell?”

He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”

~~~

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”

Calvin Trillin

~~~

On the way back to Indiana as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight to Vegas was full.  The airline were looking for volunteers to give up their seats.

In exchange, they’d give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later.  About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer.

About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter said, “If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who’d like to volunteer, please step forward .  .  .

~~~

“The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”

William James

~~~

A stock analyst and a Wall Street broker went to the racetrack. The broker suggested betting $12,000 on a certain horse. The analyst was skeptical; he had never been to the races before and wanted to understand the rules and look over all the horses before placing a wager. “You’re too cautious and detail-oriented,” the broker criticized as he placed his large bet. His horse won and he raked in a bundle of money.

“What’s your secret?” the analyst asked.

“It’s simple,” the broker explained. “I have two kids … ages two and six … so I add their ages together and bet on number nine.”

“But two and six make eight, not nine!” protested the analyst.

“See!” the broker replied, “I told you you’re too cautious and detail-oriented.”

~~~

“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.”

John Homer Miller

~~~

Since I will be in surgery very early in the morning there will be no Daily tomorrow. I’ll be back in a day or so.

 

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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