Ray's musings and humor

“We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.”

Tim McGraw

 

I have returned from my latest adventure that took me to Alaska via the Celebrity Infinity. I had the good fortune to be with old friends who also shared a trip into the Yukon Gold Country high in the mountains via a narrow gauge railroad. The food was good, the company great, and I even got some rest which I appreciated. I did add a few pounds and did not exercise enough which may have contributed to some minor medical discomfort.

The weight gain is being offset today by a thirty-two hour fast and purge in preparation for surgery tomorrow. It should be no big deal and I should be back in action in a few days. Since they won’t let me delay the procedure to publish a Daily tomorrow it will be a day or two before the Daily will be back on schedule.

The good news is that I have added a few new friends to my collection in recent weeks and am looking forward to getting to know them better. All in all it has been a good couple of weeks and once my surgery is over it will be even better.

Recently I was speaking with a new friend who sat next to me on the plane during the first leg of my journey, shared with her that my hobby was collecting friends and how glad I was that we had met. It turns out her and her husband live close by and we have much in common she we are going to stay in touch.

I shared with her that I think friends are worth more than money or material things, they warm our hearts, cheer us on, pick us up when we fall and make life worthwhile. The friends I have and those I have had have left with me with a multitude of fond memories that will never be lost, they are always with me wherever I go. I owe so much too so many for the gifts of their friendship, thank you all.

Here is a poem I read recently that I like, I hope you will also.

 

You Should Know

By Abby Heard

 

I don’t know how to say this, but I thank you very much

for always being there for me you’re gentle, friendly touch

 

You helped me to get better and stop what I regret

you helped me through the hard times that, I can’t forget. thank you.

 

You listened to my problems in a kind and caring way

and without you I may not be smiling today. thank you.

 

I trust you with my secrets the no one has been told

I trust you with my feelings and in my heart, your words I’ll take until I’m grey and old. thank you.

~~~

Remember, we all stumble, every one of us.  That’s why it is a comfort to go hand in hand.”

Emily Kimbrough

~~~

Speaking of flying, here are a few things heard on the way from here to there:

·       A flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”

·       After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.”

·       Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of US Airways.”

·       A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax – OH, MY GOD!”

Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier; but, while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!” A passenger in Coach said, “That’s nothing. He should see the back of mine!”

~~~

He said, my girlfriend takes advantage of me. I asked her out and she asked if she could bring a date.

~~~

A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat.  “This year,” she says, “I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me.” The daughter protests, “But mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this.”

“Don’t worry honey,” says the mother, “your father won’t get the bill for a couple of weeks.”

~~~

If you want the world to beat a path to your door, just try to take a nap on a Saturday afternoon.

~~~

When Jack Benny’s daughter Joan was married for the first time, the L.A. Times had a headline, “Jack Benny’s Daughter Married in $25,000 Affair.”

The L.A. Examiner’s headline was “Benny Spends $50,000 on Daughter’s Wedding.”

Eddie Cantor woke him up with a phone call to say “Did you read either of the morning papers yet?”

Jack said no.

Cantor said, “Well, do yourself a favor and just read The Times.  You’ll save $25,000.”

~~~

TROUBLE: Area of nonspecific space a child can always be sure to be in.

~~~

“Dad,” said Little Johnny, “I’m late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?”

Little Johnny’s father said irately, “Son, it just wouldn’t be right.”

“That’s okay,” replied Little Johnny, “At least you could try, right?”

~~~

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

Winston Churchill

~~~

A teacher observed a boy entering the classroom with dirty hands.  She stopped him and said, “Johnny, please wash your hands.  My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?”

With a smile the boy replied, “I think I’d be too polite to mention it.”

~~~

“It is by chance we met

By choice we became friends.”

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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