Ray's musings and humor

Archive for May, 2012

My valuables are weightless

“Don’t you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn’t developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don’t expect to see.”

Douglas Adams

 

I worked at the Central Indiana Special Olympics track and field meet on Saturday and was assisted part of the time by two high school age kids. I was again impressed with how willing they were to serve and how warm and friendly they were to everyone. My interaction with young people always seems to be positive. I think it is due to my learning just how smart they are, how they have yet to learn why not to do things and how their enthusiasm rubs off on me. I do know that there are many other kids who have problems, kids who are aggressive and anti-social but I don’t often get a chance to interact with them.

I have found that what appears so often to be intergenerational barriers to communication can be overcome if we just stop and listen to what young people have to say. In my case more often than not the kids are more knowledgeable and more reasoned than many of the folks I talk to from my generation. I truly respect them not just for their knowledge but also their willingness to take action while so many of us just sit on the sidelines and complain.

~~~

I worked the Kiwanis volunteer registration table at the games and was located next to a representative from a local utility who was registering a hundred or more volunteers from her company. I was pleased to be able to add her to my ever growing collection of friends. While we chatted I learned that she recently helped her mother make the transition to an assisted living facility that has worked out well as her mother has made many new friends and is substantially more active and involved then she would have been if she had stayed in her home.

I told her that I thought it would be great to move to a transitional setting so that we could take advantage of what there is for those of us who are adjusting to the changes brought on by age. I also hated the idea of waiting to get rid of a life time of needless trinkets and such until I was infirm. I realized in talking to her how fortunate I am that my most valuable collection is the friends, acquaintances and fond memories that I carry with me wherever I go. It is not what I own or what is around me that gives me comfort; it is the people I have met, cared about, respected and enjoyed that are the true treasures.

~~~

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

~~~

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? And….What the word team means?”

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

“Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?”

The little boy nodded yes.

“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?”

Once again the little boy nodded.

He continued, “And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach a “dumb ass” is it?”

Again the little boy nodded.

“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother.”

~~~

To be able to look back upon one’s past life with satisfaction is to live twice.

Marcus Valerius Martial

~~~

The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.

One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. “I just got some news, Mom,” he said. “The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They’ve decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?”

“What do I think?” his mother said. “Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don’t think I could stand another one of these Canadian winters!”

~~~

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn’t music.

William Stafford

~~~

A New Yorker taking a drive in the country happened upon a farmer feeding his pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig in his arms, hold it up to the branches of a tree and wait while the animal ate an apple. He would then move the pig from one apple to another until it was satisfied.

The city man watched this procedure for some time, then finally said to the farmer, “This seems an inefficient way of feeding your pigs. Why don’t you simply shake the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground? That would sure save a lot of time.”

The farmer looked puzzled, then shrugged and replied, “What’s time to a pig?”

~~~

“That’s what it takes to be a hero, a little gem of innocence inside you that makes you want to believe that there still exists a right and wrong, that decency will somehow triumph in the end”

Lise Hand

~~~

A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, “Honey, are you ready yet?”

Shouting back, the woman replies, “For crying out loud, I’ve been telling you for the last half hour that I’ll be ready in a minute!

~~~

I’m addicted to placebos. I’d give them up, but it wouldn’ make any difference.

Steven Wright

~~~

Jack hadn’t been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting, saying,

“You look like Helen Brown.”

“Well,” the woman snapped back, “you don’t look so great in blue either!”

~~~

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

Author unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Food for thought

“Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.”

Leonard Cohen

I am running a little late this morning so back to the past again today. Here is a copy of the Daily I first published on May 11, 2005

Ray’s Daily

I often think that I have become a maxim and quote pack rat. I often find that a voice from the past will wake me up to something that is obvious, right, and in many cases easily overlooked. Often we get bogged down in our problems, in our jobs and so much more that we spend little time stopping and getting back to the basics that are important to our happiness and wellbeing. Here some thoughts I pulled out of the grab bag for you to think about.

  • Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.
  • Don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart…but if you don’t, you might break theirs.
  • Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much…for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all.
  • Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of ejection was too hard to handle?
  • We tell lies when we are afraid… afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie… the thing we fear grows stronger.
  • Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Think of all the things we would have missed if we hadn’t allowed ourselves to jump into life. I hope everyone makes sure they jump now while they still can.

~~~

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

– T. S. Eliot

~~~

You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?” asked the judge.

“Yes,” answered the suspect.

“And what did you steal?”

“A dress, Your Honor,” replied the subject.

“One dress?” echoed the judge. “But you admit breaking in four times!”

“Yes, Your Honor,” sighed the suspect. “But three times my wife didn’t like the color.”

~~~

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Leo Buscaglia

~~~

A man took his old duck to the Veterinarian, concerned because the duck wouldn’t eat. The Vet explained to the man that as ducks age their upper bills grow down over their lower bills, and make it difficult for the animal to pick up it’s food.

“What you need to do is gently file the upper bill down, even with the lower bill. But you must be extra careful because the duck’s nostrils are located in the upper bill and if you file down too far, when the duck takes a drink of water it’ll drown.”

The man goes about his business and about a week later the Vet runs into his patient.

“Well, how is that duck of yours?” the Vet inquires.

“He’s dead.” declared the heartbroken man.

“I told you not to file his upper bill down too far!

He took a drink of water and drowned didn’t he?” insisted the Vet.

“No.” lamented the man. “I think he was dead before I took him out of the vise.”

~~~

People who cough incessantly never seen to go to the doctor, they go to banquets, concerts, and church.

~~~

“I’m prescribing these pills for you,” said the doctor to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at about three hundred pounds. “I don’t want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time….”

~~~

“To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.”

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. “Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!” she screams.

Ground control receives her call for help and answers back: “Don’t worry, madam. I’ll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position”

“I’m 5″2′ and sitting in the front”

~~~

“Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.”

William Makepeace Thackeray

~~~

David wasn’t feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked.

After a thorough examination, the doctor said, “Well David, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking.”

“I see,” said David. “Well, to be honest with you Doc, let’s go with second best.’

~~~

The enjoyment of life would be instantly gone if you removed the possibility of doing something.

Chauncey Depew

~~~

Jewish Mothers don’t differ from any other in the world when it comes to bragging about their sons.  One Mother, trying to out-do another when it came to opportunities available to their just graduated-from-college sons said, “My Irving has had so many fine interviews, his resume is now in its fifth printing.”

~~~

We should all swap problems; everyone knows how to solve the other fellow’s.

~~~

I was visitin’ over at the old Perfesser’s, when little Maury came over, tugged on my pants leg and excitedly exclaimed, “I got a new bicycle, do you want to see it?”

I said, “Sure, little Maury.”

So off to the backyard we went. When we got there, I saw his brand new bicycle.

“Boy, Maury!! That’s a beautiful bicycle,” I complimented. “Can you ride it?”

“Yeah, I can ride it,” he said, then with a sad face he pouted, “but it’s broke.”

I looked at the new bicycle and couldn’t see anything wrong with it, so I asked him, “Well, what’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know,” little Maury shrugged, “but every time I ride it, it falls down!”

~~~

Benny the psychiatrist got a postcard one morning from one of his patients. It read, “Having a wonderful time. Wish you were here so you could tell me why.”

~~~

Greater is he who acts from love than he who acts from fear.

Simeon Ben Eleazar

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

We just have to keep going

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.”

Walter Elliot

 

I learned a long time ago that perseverance is one of the most important behaviors exhibited by successful people. I know in my early years when I flew around the country as the last resort when there were difficult computer problems I often had no one to turn to but myself. I frequently would start with no idea what to do so I did the only thing I could, I kept going. There is a lot to be learned from the race between the turtle and the hare, the turtle did not rest on his laurels nor put off his progress waiting for another day, he just kept going.

These days as I am involved in a major life style change I again find value in perseverance. I honestly think that if I excuse myself from following my daily exercise program that it would not be long before the excuses were easier than doing what should be done. Of course the jury is still out as to whether or not I will sustain the self-discipline required to continue what is now providing me so much reward but I am confident that by taking one step at a time, like the turtle, I will persevere. Of course I also have the added incentive of really liking what I am doing, I meet good people every morning, I regularly get e-mail kudos from the big computer monitoring my activity and best of all I get a flying start on my day each morning.

Steve Brunkhorst wrote about perseverance not long ago and I like what he said, here is what he sent me in an e-mail:

 

Steady Perseverance

Steady perseverance is taking a one positive action after the next toward a specific accomplishment, performing each action with excellence, and enjoying each accomplishment without anxiety about the future.

Perseverance is indeed a world class trait displayed by those who have a meaningful direction in their lives. Without a meaningful direction, perseverance can be wasted on harmful or time-wasting pursuits. However, when we know where we are headed – even if we cannot see the finish line – the essential trait of perseverance gives us fulfillment, energy, and staying-power in the most challenging of times.

We must also be aware of three negative traits. These are desperation, discouragement, and cynicism. These traits are dangerous thieves; they will drain positive energy, waste valuable time, and steal one’s emotional and physical health. Desperation, discouragement, and cynicism persevere only in self-pity, doubt, and skepticism leading to self-destructive behaviors.

When we choose a specific destination or goal and move toward it with perseverance, we are able to transform these self-defeating traits into determination, encouragement, and faith. By applying these positive traits toward a worthwhile purpose, we can make significant contributions to our world.

When you feel discouraged, seek encouragement from others who recognize your talents and believe in your goals. When you feel desperate or cynical, know that when you are ready and willing, you can transform these feelings into determination and faith. Then persevere by accomplishing one small task with excellence – then another, and another.

Ask yourself: What is one meaningful destination I must reach during my lifetime? What small contribution can I make today that will lead me closer to that destination?

When determination, encouragement, and faith are driven by steady perseverance, you will act with effectiveness and power, and your natural talents will move you closer to your most cherished dreams.

~~~

“If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius.”

Joseph Addison

~~~

Molly was dying and on her deathbed, she gave final instructions to her husband David. “David, you’ve been so good to me all these years. I know you never even thought about another woman. But now that I’m going, I want you to marry again as soon as is possible and I want you to give your new wife all my expensive clothes.”

“I can’t do that, my darling,” David said. “You’re a size 16 and she’s only a 10.”

~~~

Leadership is doing what is right when no one is watching.

George Van Valkenburg

~~~

While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face. As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine,” I said, touched by her concern.

“Oh, good,” she continued.  “So will you be vacating your parking space now?”

~~~

It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities.

Josiah Stamp

~~~

If you upset your wife, she nags you…..

If you upset her even more, you get the silent treatment.

Don’t you think it’s worth the extra effort?

~~~

If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.

Abraham Maslow

~~~

A little girl from Minneapolis came home from Sunday school with a frown on her face. “I’m not going back there anymore,” she announced with finality. “I don’t like the Bible they keep teaching us.”

“Why not?” asked her astonished mother.

“Because,” said the little girl, “that Bible is always talking about St. Paul, and it never once mentions Minneapolis.”

~~~

If the rich could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living.

~~~

Two women were discussing marriage, and one said, “We’ve been married twenty-five years, and every night my husband has complained about the food. Not one night without complaining about the food.”

The other woman said, “That’s awful. Doesn’t it bother you?”

The first one said, “Why should I object if he doesn’t like his own cooking?”

~~~

Don’t be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs.  Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger.  If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves. 

Dale Carnegie

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Today is going to be great

“Our limitations and success will be based, most often, on your own expectations for ourselves. What the mind dwells upon, the body acts upon.”

Denis Waitley

Boy am I glad yesterday is over. I had a little bit of difficulty doing my cardio stuff and had to slow down. I figured since it was only 5:30 AM and the polls for our primary election would not open until 6:00 AM I would grab a bite of breakfast, good idea but nothing was open so I went home and fixed it myself. I then showed up at an empty polling place at 6:15 AM and they could not find me on the voter list. After they verified my address, that I had a pulse and could steam up a mirror they called election headquarters where they learned I was real and supposed to vote where I was. The election judge came over and looked and unstuck the two pages in the election book and found the hidden sheet that had my information. It was then on to the dentist for another two and a half hours of preliminary work that will be used to make a permanent multi-tooth bridge that I will have put in during another marathon session on the 22nd. I also paid the total bill and went home to let my wife know we would not be buying a private island after which I called my IRA holder and had them sell some stuff so we will have food money.

So my friends as you can see my day today will be better than yesterday and full of good cheer. I am now off to the exercise palace to do some cardio and a lot of strength stuff. After that I only have an eleven AM seminar after which I am going on a nap vacation for a few hours, ah sweet rest, the elixir of the aged. So I expect today to be better and you know what, it will be. I use Ralph Marston’s philosophy as I face each new day. Here is what he wrote a few years ago.

 

Just like you expect

When you are prepared to find fault, you will. When you are prepared to find goodness and value, you will. What you are looking for determines what you find. What you are expecting determines what you experience.

Expectations don’t magically change reality. Expectations do something even more powerful — they change the way you deal with reality.

Is this going to be a positive, productive day or a disappointing, frustrating one? What do you expect?

The great thing is that you can expect whatever you choose to expect. And though the specific details won’t always match your expectations, the overall tone of the day will be just like you most sincerely expect.

Expect the best. Proceed under the assumption that you’ll get the best, from yourself and others, and you’re well on your way to getting it.

~~~

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!

Dr. Seuss

~~~

A man traveling by train asks the ticket collector what time the train stops at Victoria.

“Sir, we don’t stop at Victoria.”

“But I have to get off there!”

“Sorry sir, we don’t stop at Victoria”

“But you don’t understand, I have a VERY important meeting in Victoria. I *MUST* get off there!”

“Well, there might be one thing I can do. I might be able to get the engineer to slow down the train a little. Then I can dangle you out the door and lower you onto the platform.”

“Will that work?”

“It’s worth a try.”  As they approached the platform, the train is slowing from 50 MPH. The collector hangs the man in mid-air out the door. The man starts running in mid-air.

“Run faster! Faster!” He lowers the man and the man’s feet touch the platform. His shoes start to smoke! His heel comes off! He’s running at 30 MPH. He’s made it! He starts to slow down! The other passengers stare in amazement. As the last car goes by, a hand grabs the man by the shirt collar and lifts him right back into the train! As he’s helped back on the train the gent who picked him up says,

“Man you’re lucky I was here to help! This train doesn’t even STOP in Victoria!”

~~~

“The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.”

~~~

A bishop discovered a tribe of Indians in the Yukon who had never recorded a baptism, confirmation or marriage. The bishop soon rectified the situation by baptizing and confirming everyone. He also married every beaming couple that walked by. Later, the tribal chief told the Bishop the tribe had never had so much fun. The bishop asked the chief which part they enjoyed the most. “The marriage service,” the chief said, smiling. “We all got new wives!”

~~~

It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.

~~~

A couple is having breakfast when they hear on the radio that there is going to be a 2-3 inch snowfall and that they have to park their car on the “even” side of the street for snow removal. The blond wife grabs the car keys and moves the car to the opposite side of the block.

The next day at breakfast they hear that 4-5 inches of snow are expected and parking will be on the odd-numbered side of the street. Again blondie moves the car.

The day after that, they hear that a whopper of a snowstorm is expected, with 6-10 inches of snow set to fall, and that people should park on — All of a sudden, the radio goes dead.

Blondie looks at her husband and in near hysterics and says, “What on earth should we do now?”

Without looking up from his coffee, he answers, “Maybe you should just leave the car in the garage.”

~~~

If not for STRESS I’d have no energy at all.

~~~

Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court judge said, “and I’ve decided to give your wife $275 a week.”

“That’s very fair, your honor,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”

~~~

“A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.”

Sir Winston Churchill

~~~

At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that the tombstone reads, “Here lies Phyllis, wife of Murray, L.L.D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice.”

Suddenly, Murray bursts into tears.  His brother says, “You should cry, pulling a stunt like this!”

Through his tears, Murray croaks, “You don’t understand!  They left out the phone number!”

~~~

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Margaret Mead

~~~

A grasshopper walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender turns to the grasshopper and says “hey, you know we have a drink named after you?”

The grasshopper responds, “Why in the heck do you have a drink named Bob?”

~~~

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.

Tony Robbins

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I believe in you, do you?

Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.

Mark Victor Hansen

I am off on another whirlwind day. Of course I’ll start with about an hour of exercise at my new home away from home, my local YMCA. Then I’ll get a quick bite of breakfast before I go vote in our statewide primary elections. I am really glad to get this behind me for our state was chosen to be the battleground between Super Pacs, it is distressing to watch outside money drown out the normal communications channels as they feed voters primarily slur, slander, falsehoods via unbelievably negative adds. I told some friends that if this keeps up and the public gets little solid information and only hears high cost screamers we will not need elections when can just have auctions.

At least the pain will lay the foundation for an hour or so of high cost dental work after which I will attend a lunch meeting where I hope I not to slobber much as my dental pain killers wear off

.

I was thinking yesterday that one of the advantages of my misspent life where I did not sleep enough, drank too much, smoked too much and avoided all exercise is what is happening to me now. Most folks get aches, pains and creaky bones as they age, look at me with my new life style I actually feel younger every day. Like the guy once said “In every adverse situation there is a complimentary opportunity”. I also like the idea that I am learning I can do things I never thought I could. As I always knew, the more you do things the more you end up believing in yourself.

Here is some advice that someone wrote that I copied awhile back. It works for me I hope it will for you too.

 

Believe in Yourself

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren’t the way you had hoped they would be. That’s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better. There are times when people disappoint you and let you down. But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them. Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be. Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself!

~~~

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.

Anonymous

~~~

A Jewish father was concerned about his son who was about a year away from his Bar Mitzvah but was sorely lacking in his knowledge of the Jewish faith. To remedy this, he sent his son to Israel to experience his heritage. A year later the young man returned home.

“Father, thank you for sending me to the land of our Fathers,” the son said. “It was wonderful and enlightening, however, I must confess that while in Israel I converted to Christianity.”

“Oi vey,” replied the father, “what have I done.” So in the tradition of the patriarchs, he went to his best friend and sought his advice and solace.

“It is amazing that you should come to me,” stated his friend, “I too sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian.”

So in the tradition of the patriarchs they went to the Rabbi. “It is amazing that you should come to me,” stated the Rabbi, “I too sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian. What is happening to our sons?”

“Brothers, we must take this to the Lord,” said the Rabbi.

They fell to their knees and began to wail and pour out their hearts to the Almighty. As they prayed the clouds opened and a mighty voice stated, “Amazing that you should come to Me. I, too, sent My Son to Israel…”

~~~

Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors?

Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

~~~

He:  I have a complaint, dear.

She:  What is it, darling?

He:  We’ve been married twenty-five years and you still correct me every time I open my mouth, dear.

She:  Twenty-six years, darling.

~~~

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

~~~

Tower: “United 702, cleared for takeoff, contact departure on 124.7.”

United 702: “Tower, United 702 switching to departure …by the way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.”

Tower: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff. Contact departure on 124.7; did you copy the report from United?”

Continental 635: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied United. We’ve already notified our caterers.”

~~~

If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.

~~~

The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it was considerably longer than normal. Later, at the door, shaking hands with parishioners as they filed out, one man said,

“Your sermon, Pastor, was simply wonderful – so invigorating and inspiring and refreshing.”

The minister of course, broke out in a big smile, only to hear the man add, “Why I felt like a new man when I woke up!”

~~~

I wonder how long I would be on hold if my call WASN’T important to them?

~~~

Morris realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. “How much do they cost?” he asked the salesperson.

“That depends,” he said. “They run from $2.00 to $2,000.”

“Let’s see the $2.00 model,” said Morris the miser.

The salesperson put the device around Morris’ neck. “You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket,” he instructed.

“How does it work?” , asked Morris.

“For $2.00 it doesn’t work,” the salesperson replied. “But when people see it on you, they’ll talk louder.”

~~~

Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.

Mark Victor Hansen

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Spring Markets! Life is good

“By ten o’clock, the sidewalk looks like the Fourth of July parade. Mama minds the cash box while Daddy and Mitch go to haul more tomatoes and peppers from the truck. The basket of beans is almost empty, so I fill it up again.”

Paul Brett Johnson

 

I now feel that spring has really arrived, two of my favorite farmers markets opened last Saturday and I was there waiting at one of them at 7:45 AM. I think I may be addicted to the fresh, the home made, the home grown and the multitude of flavors that are offered to me each week from spring until fall in our cities many outdoor markets.

As I did my leisurely walk I enjoyed the smiles, the scenes and the smells that were all around me.

Wow, wait, look the Smokehouse has freshly made breakfast sausage…. Give me a chub of that for tomorrows breakfast…..Renee is back and they made some of that great cranberry-citrus loaf….I’m not sure that it is low calorie but the USDA says I should eat a lot of fruit so I’ll take one….Ah the sisters are here and besides their bake goods that brought some homemade soup…..I love your soup give me a container of your Chicken Tortilla, yummy….And great there is chef Allyson’s husband Clay…. Super you have some of your famous oriental salad that I love so much give me some please….Now I think I’ll go look at what growing stuff is around, oops better not, spent all my money. I’ll get some next Saturday, wait I can’t, I’ll be working the Kiwanis volunteer registration at the Special Olympics track meet, maybe the near north church will restart their Thursday afternoon market this week.

Yep I love the taste of spring from all the great folks that provide me locally grown produce, fruits, meats, poultry, and their freshly made goodies. What makes it even better is we also haave food made by folks who have come here from other parts of the world. Life is good, especially in Central Indiana on Saturday mornings.

 

The Perfect Farmers Market …

A lively, entertaining event

scheduled at a reasonable hour

to allow farmers and their hired hands

plenty of time to pick, prepare and transport produce,

on a day that does not conflict with any other nearby markets

and at an easily accessible location

so farmers can keep their transportation costs low,

and customers will find plenty of free parking nearby,

along with colorful, inviting displays

hosted by a diversity of

friendly, compliant vendors

who have brought just the right mix and quantity

of fresh, home grown quality products

to sell for a reasonable profit

to a constant flow of savvy, loyal shoppers

eager to spend their money on local food and

willing to learn about the newest specialty products,

all organized by a passionate, paid market manager

who has an ample budget and

plenty of help to tend to every detail

to keep the vendors happy,

city officials supportive and

customers wanting to come back week after week

– topped off with picture perfect weather and plenty of shade.

by Marcia Hahn

~~~

After 20 years two college rivals bumped into each other. “Do you remember how I used to be so fat and flabby?’ asked the first “Well, I’ve been on an exercise program for a few years, and now I run marathons.”

“That’s’ great!” replied the other man.

“And,” the first man continued, “do you remember how I used to be shy and a poor student? Well, I took a course in public speaking, and now I make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year on the lecture circuit”

“That’s great!” came the reply.

“Oh, and how about you?” the first man asked. “Have you changed at all?”

“Well, yes I have,” replied the second man. “Remember how brutally honest I used to be, and how when someone said something uninteresting, I would reply, “I couldn’t care less?” Well now I just say, “That’s’ great!”

~~~

You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

~~~

The college football player knew his way around the locker room better than he did the library, so when my husband’s co-worker saw the gridiron star roaming the stacks looking confused, she asked how she could help.

“I have to read a play by Shakespeare,” he said.

“Which one?” she asked.

He scanned the shelves and answered, “William.”

~~~

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That’s my idea of a perfect day.

~~~

Rachel lives in New York, you never know what will happen there. A man is being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turns yellow, just in front of him. He does the right thing and stops at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hits the roof, and the horn, fuming in frustration as she misses her chance to get through the intersection with him. As she is still in mid-rant, she hears a tap on her window and looks up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer orders her to exit her car with her hands up.

He takes her to the police station where she is searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approaches the cell and opens the door. She is escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer is waiting with her personal effects.

He says, “I’m very sorry for this mistake.” “You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. ” I noticed the “Choose Life” license plate holder, the “What Would Jesus Do” bumper sticker, the “Follow Me to Sunday School” bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.”

“Naturally I assumed you had stolen the car.”

~~~

He said: As a high school football coach, I’m aware that student athletes tend to focus too much on sports.  Bob, a fellow coach, was talking about one such player, who called him at home one night.

When his wife informed the kid that Bob wasn’t home, he became frantic and said he had to speak to the coach right away.

“Just calm down, and I’ll have him call you as soon as he gets home,” the coach’s wife told him.  “What’s your number?”

The flustered kid replied, “Three.”

~~~

“Food, like a loving touch or a glimpse of divine power, has that ability to comfort.”

Norman Kolpas

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Bye Ray, have fun

“The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

It is around 4 AM and I am taking my sore body off to the workout center to do about an hour of cardiopulmonary exercises. Then home to snack, change and get going to my pulmonologist (lung guy) to let him praise my weight loss and improved physical state, at least he better. Honest you guys I have been really good this week so I am giving myself a three day weekend as my reward. But I did not want to send you three blank pages so here is Ray’s Daily first published on May 4, 2005.

 

Ray’s Daily

Some time ago someone sent me a few of their maxims for us to read and think about, they are:

  • I’ve learned that ultimately ‘takers’ lose and ‘givers’ win. This may not always be true but I find I like givers a lot better, especially when I look in the mirror and see that it was me.
  • Life’s precious moments don’t have value, unless they are shared. Amen to this one. The sunset is never as beautiful as it is when you see it with someone you care about. Sharing the things that give you pleasure are the best gifts you can give to another.
  • If you don’t start, it’s certain you won’t arrive. It is sad that there are so many that wait until the race is almost over to start living their lives.
  • We often fear the thing we want the most. And I find it hard to understand why we sometimes feel guilty when we get it. In my experience the goal achieved often loses its luster as the process of getting there is often more rewarding than the achievement itself.
  • Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say! So often the best communications take place without words, holding a hand or brushing away a tear at the right time always communicates more than what might be said.
  • Look for opportunities…. not guarantees. It seems to me that when we don’t take ourselves too seriously, are not excessively afraid what others might think if we fail, we end up doing great things. Even when we don’t win we are still able to take pride in the fact we tried.
  • Life is what’s coming…. not what was. I don’t know about you but I know I don’t have time to live down the past. Everyday is a new adventure and I can hardly wait to see how it turns out.

Ray

~~~

There are only two ways to live your life.

One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle.

Albert Einstein

~~~

Jill and Nadine were having lunch and Nadine looked a little upset. “What’s wrong?” asked Jill.

“I’m really worried about myself,” Nadine said forlornly. “My memory has always been a source of quiet pride to me, but lately it’s been failing me. I’m having a hard time remembering things from the mundane to the major.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” Jill said consolingly, “sounds like you’ll forget all about it tomorrow.”

~~~

I was shopping at the supermarket today and I saw a package of Turkey Bacon. What’s up with that?? Makes me wonder WHAT is going on at that farm?

~~~

The patrol officer stopped a motorist for a traffic violation. Standing outside his expensive foreign car, the red-faced driver frantically waved his hands and jumped up and down.

“I’ll have your job for this!” he shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Sir, you wouldn’t want my job,” replied the unruffled officer as he wrote out the citation.

“The hours are long, the pay is low, and you meet some of the nastiest people.”

~~~

Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

In a small town in the Old Country, the Rabbi died. His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again. But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher. The poor Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been wed to a scholar, and the butcher had no great formal education. However, she was lonely, so she agreed, and they were married.

After the marriage, Friday came. She went to the mikvah (a Jewish ritual bath to get rid of impurities). Then, she went home to prepare to light the candles. The butcher leaned over to her and said, “My mother told me that after the mikvah and before lighting the candles, it’s a mitzvah to have sex.” So they did.

She lit the candles. He leaned over again and said, My father told me that after lighting the candles it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

They went to bed after prayers to get ready for Shabbos. When they awoke he said to her, “My grandmother said that before you go to the synagogue it’s a mitzvah to have sex.” So they did.

After praying all morning, they came home to rest; and again he whispers in her ear, “My grandfather says after praying it’s a mitzvah to have sex.” So they did.

On Sunday she went out to shop for food and met a friend who asked, “Nu, so how is the new husband?” She replied, “Well, he is no scholar; but he comes from a wonderful family.”

~~~

May your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want.

Irish toast

~~~

A millionaire informs his attorney, “I want a stipulation in my Will that my wife is to inherit everything, but only if she remarries within six months of my death.”

“Why such an odd stipulation?” asks the attorney.

“Because,” he says, “I want someone to be sorry I died.”

~~~

The question is not “Do I have the gifts and strengths that I need for my life,” but “Am I seeking to discover my gifts and strengths?”

Paula Ripple

~~~

She said: I was self-conscious about going to the gym, because I thought the pounds I had put on would make me stand out among the spandex-clad regulars.

I chose a treadmill way in the back corner so I’d be inconspicuous. However, as I exercised, my worst fears came true. At least a dozen people turned to stare at me periodically. I thought it might be my imagination, but then one woman even squinted to get a better look. Imagine!

Completely mortified, I stepped off the machine and started to leave.

When I turned around to see if I left my towel back there, I realized that the gym’s only wall clock had been hanging just inches above my head.

~~~

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.

Dale Turner

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Sorry

“There is no problem unless we choose to make it one, so think carefully before you act.”

David Marshall

 

I had breakfast yesterday with two of my favorite community leaders. Much of our conversation centered on the difficulty many seniors have making the transition from the world of work to an often unstructured existence. While we spent most of our time talking about what we could do to help folks that no longer had a job to go to everyday, a place where they had longtime friends and tasks that kept them occupied we also talked about how some get overwhelmed by opportunities offered by others. In truth the pendulum can swing so far from not having much to do to having more to do than you can happily handle.

As my friends talked we kicked around how guilty we sometimes feel when we don’t do more than we do. I personally think it is important that we do what we can, providing it is something we want to do, but also we need to make sure we keep balance in our life by also doing things for ourselves. I know I get as much pleasure from doing little things that allow me to make new friends, learn new things and relax as I do from high profile activities.

For me the big difficulty is saying no. I can’t do everything that is available for me to do but I sometimes feel guilty when I don’t and yet I know that if I did say yes I would not be as good as someone else and I would agonize over not doing better. For years I have been an advocate for using the positive no, in other words thanking folks for asking and letting them know I really like what they are doing and then honestly telling them why I can’t carry a bigger load.

When I read the following I felt that it had some merit that might help my friends who also have a hard time saying no.

 

How to respectfully say no.

  • Listen to the request respectfully. Do not interrupt the speaker.
  • Phrase your “no” as simply as possible. Don’t raise your voice or become upset, simply say that you cannot help this time. When you say no, say it in a confident, well modulated voice to sound more straightforward.
  • Transfer ownership of your refusal to something else. For instance, say “I can, but my schedule is booked now. How about some other time?” You don’t have to explain further. This deflects any resentment they might have towards your schedule.
  • Try to remain non-confrontational.
  • Don’t feel obligated to explain. You have your reasons and they may not be ones you wish to discuss. If this is the case, try saying something like, “I’m just not able to.” Leave it at that – if you must, change the subject, or say, “I’m sorry, but I need to go.”
  • Explain simply, and only if you wish to do so. If the case really is one that you feel okay explaining, make your explanation as simple as possible.
  • Stand firm. If the requestor does not want to accept your answer, tell him or her that your mind is made up and that you will not change it.
  • Keep in mind that it’s your time they’re are requesting for and you have the choice to accept or decline what they’re asking of you.

~~~

“Doing more things faster is no substitute for doing the right things.”

Stephen R. Covey

~~~

The teacher asked Johnnie, “Johnnie if I gave you two rabbits and then two more rabbits and then two more rabbits, how many would you have?”

Johnnie replied, “Seven rabbits, Teacher.”

The teacher asked again, “Listen Johnnie, If I gave you two rabbits, plus two more rabbits, plus two more rabbits…   How many rabbits would you have altogether?”

Johnnie smiled, “That’s easy, Teacher, I would have seven.”

“Ok Johnnie,” the teacher said. “Let’s try it a different way.  If I gave you two cans of pop, plus two more cans of  pop, plus two more cans of pop. How many cans of pop would you have?”

“Six cans.” Johnnie said.

“OK,” said the teacher. “Now think of that with this question.  “If I gave you two rabbits, then two more rabbits,  then two more rabbits how many would you have?”

“Seven, Teacher.” Johnnie said.

“Why seven?” the teacher asked, exasperated.

Johnnie replied, “Because I already have one rabbit at home!”

~~~

SHE SAID: Say you love me! Say you love me!

HE SAID : You love me…

~~~

A captain with a major airline monitors the flight attendants’ announcements while taxiing to the gate. Impatient passengers often stand up and attempt to dash forward before we arrive.  Once, instead of the usual terse voice reminding people to remain in their seats, he heard the attendant declare, “In the history of our airline, no passenger has ever beaten the aircraft to the gate.  So, Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain seated.”

~~~

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

HARRY S. TRUMAN

~~~

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the  wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

And then finally, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world,  I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced  with a smile, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: “Shall We  Gather at the River.”

~~~

You know you’re getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

~~~

A university creative writing class was asked to write a short essay containing these four elements:

– religion

– royalty

– sex

– mystery

The prize-winning essay read: “My God,” said the Queen. “I’m pregnant. I wonder who did it?”

~~~

“Kindness is an inner desire that makes us want to do good things even if we do not get anything in return. It is the joy of our life to do them. When we do good things from this inner desire, there is kindness in everything we think, say, want and do.”

Emanuel Swedenborg

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Ray’s rambling again

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”

Thornton Wilder

I hope you don’t mind if I ramble a little today, if you do, sorry I am going to anyway.

First I have started my strength training on top of my cardiovascular exercise program. I am at the workout center every morning at five AM, while it sounds crazy to go that early I am surprised at how well it works for me. There is no traffic driving to and from the facility and it takes all of about 4 minutes to get there. There is no waiting to access the various devices and machines that are part of my routine and I am home before six AM leaving plenty of time to get ready for the early morning meetings I have most days.

I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would don workout clothes and shoes and do what I am doing these days. The results so far have been very good, my stamina has improved, my cardiac doc is thrilled and I have been able to reduce my blood thinner dosage. I also have learned that I have muscles that I never knew I had as the next day’s aches after strength training shows up all over my body.

Oh by the way I suppose I should admit that part of the secret of my ability to do it is how good I am at taking frequent naps.

Another highlight of the last few days was a breakfast meeting I had yesterday with the head of one of Indiana’s premiere arts organization. His organization is highly regarded internationally for introducing children into music and providing many of them a path that takes them to stages both in my country and abroad.

The day before we met I spent time with another friend who was distressed by how much we have cut out of our children’s education by focusing on core curricula that no longer includes the arts, health and even sports in some cases. It dawned on me as I thought about both conversations that we need to recognize that we are growing a society of culturally disadvantaged on top of the far too many kids who are economically disadvantaged.  It is OK with me if a child does not get turned on by the arts but I think we owe them at least a chance to find out if they might. I know I would not like to live in a society with few artists, musicians, poets, philosophers that leave few opportunities for the rest of us to enjoy what has meant so much to so many in our history. If the schools can’t do it then I think we all need to support organizations like my friends so they can.

I am grateful every day for the opportunity I have been given to return to reasonably good health and to spend time with so many that make life in Central Indiana entertaining and rewarding. I am especially grateful that they allow me to participate in so many of the really good things that are happening.

I hope your life is as good as mine, for it is you too have a lot to be thankful for.

~~~

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him resting on the seventh day. He inquires of God, “Where have you been?”

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downward through the clouds.  “Look, Michael, look what I’ve made.”

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?”

“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put life on it.  I’m going to call it earth and it’s going to be a great place of balance.

“Balance?” inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of the earth, “For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.  The Middle East over there will be a hot spot,” God continued, pointing to different countries.  “This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered with ice.”

The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a large land mass with oceans as it borders and said, “What’s that one?”

“Ah,” said God, “that’s Florida, the most glorious place on earth.  There are beautiful beaches, rivers, lakes, and climate.  The people from Florida are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world.  They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, and high achieving people, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace.”

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then exclaimed, “What about balance, God?  You said there would be balance!  Everyone and everything seems so totally perfect in this place you call Florida!”

God replied wisely, “Wait until you see the idiots I’m sending down from the North every winter!”

~~~

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.

~~~

Saul Epstein Was Taking An Oral Exam Applying For His Citizenship Papers.

He Was Asked To Spell “Cultivate”

He Spelled It Correctly.

He Was Then Asked To Use The Word In A Sentence.

He Brightened Up And Said, “Last Vinter On A Very Cold Day, I Vas Vaiting For A Bus, But It Vas Too Cultivate, So I Took The Subvay Home.”

~~~

People don’t injure their eyesight by looking at the bright side of things!!

~~~

Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them. The first guy said, “My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won’t let me do any work around the house. It’s incredible.”

The second guy says, “That’s nothing.  My wife thinks I’m God.”

“She thinks you’re God?  What makes you say that?”

“Easy. Every night she places a burnt offering before me.”

~~~

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world “up over”?

~~~

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.”

“Mom,” replied the daughter, “if he wasn’t nice, why would he be doing 5000 hours of community service?”

~~~

I went to a restaurant that serves -breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

Steven Wright

~~~

A man has to take a business trip overseas so he entrusts his best friend with the job of keeping an eye on his wife. If anything out of the ordinary should occur, his friend was to notify him immediately. After about a week with no contact, the businessman received an e-mail containing only one sentence. “The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn’t show up yesterday.”

~~~

In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.

Brother David Steindl-Rast

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I enjoy the puzzle, I hope you do too

“We are one big family of people, trying to make our way through the unfolding puzzle of life.”

Sara Paddison

 

I was taking a tour of the archive where I keep pieces that I have saved over the years and I found the following and liked it, so I will share it with you. I have added comments that reflect some of my thoughts. I wish I remembered where I got it as there probably is more wisdom buried there.

 

LIFE I LEARNED FROM A JIGSAW PUZZLE:

Don’t force a fit. If something is meant to be, it will come together naturally.

I don’t know about you but I have wasted far too much time in my life trying to force square pegs in round holes when stopping and using a little intelligence rather than brute force would have saved time and reduced frustration.

When things aren’t going so well, take a break. Everything will look different when you return.

Persistence is great but I have found that it is more effective when it includes periods of downtime for often the solution will be at hand when observed with rested eyes.

Be sure to look at the big picture. Getting hung up on the little pieces only leads to frustration.

Isn’t that the truth, far too often we get stopped as we ponder minutia rather moving on to the heart of the matter.

Perseverance pays off. Every important puzzle went together bit by bit, piece by piece.

Too many of us give up too soon. I find that deliberate action broken down in segments allows me to feel good about the progress I make. Getting 25% done is worth celebrating as there now is only three quarters left to do.

Variety is the spice of life.  It’s the different colors and patterns that make the puzzle interesting.

Boy is this right or what! It is the differences that give our life texture and keeps it interesting. It would be terrible to have every day the same as the last.

Don’t be afraid to try different combinations. Some matches are surprising.

I have often said that sometimes it better to be lucky than smart, I often stumble across answers that I had not seen. We should never close our minds to serendipity for it is often where the gold is hidden.

Anything worth doing takes time and effort. A great puzzle can’t be rushed.

Like life itself joy comes mostly from the journey and not at the arrival at the final destination.

~~~

“The art of simplicity is a puzzle of complexity.”

Doug Horton

~~~

Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees, and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

~~~

“I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection.”

Thomas Paine

~~~

Mary Louise Gilman, the venerable editor of the National Shorthand Reporter has collected many of the more hilarious courtroom bloopers in two books – Humor in the Court and More Humor in the Court. From Mrs. Gilman’s two volumes, here are some of my favorite transcripts, all recorded by America’s keepers of the word:

 

Q. What is your brother-in-law’s name?

A. Borofkin.

Q. What’s his first name?

A. I can’t remember.

Q. He’s been your brother-in-law for years, and you can’t remember his first name?

A. No. I tell you I’m too excited. (Rising from the witness chair and pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God’s sake, tell them your first name!

 

Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?

A. I refuse to answer that question.

Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?

A. I refuse to answer that question.

Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?

A. No.

 

Q. What is your name?

A. Ernestine McDowell.

Q. And what is your marital status?

A. Fair.

~~~

Anybody who claims that marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition doesn’t know the first thing about men, women or fractions.

~~~

My secretary stopped me as I approached her desk. Red faced and nervous, she pointed to an expense statement and asked if I thought it appropriate to charge the company for such an item. It read “Viagrafix.” I didn’t see any cause for her concern, until I realized we were reading the word differently: she as “viagra fix” and I, “ViaGrafix,” a software design package.

~~~

For every minute you are angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can never get back.

~~~

A man called his neighbor to help him move a couch that had become stuck in the doorway. They got on either end of the couch and struggled until they were exhausted, but the couch wouldn’t budge.

“Forget it,” the man finally gasped. “We’ll never get this in.”

A frustrated voice came from the other side of the couch: “In?”

~~~

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

~~~

A widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately. He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife. The psychic went into a trance. A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife.

“Honey!” he cried. “Is that you?”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Are you happy?”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Happier than you were with me?”

“Yes, my husband…much happier ! ”

“Then Heaven must be an amazing place!”

“I’m not in Heaven, dear.”

~~~

“When we begin life, we are all given a puzzle — each one very different, yet special. As we continue through our lives, we meet people and have some type of affect upon their life, as they do on ours. We share with them a piece of our puzzle and they share a piece of theirs, with us, in return. No matter what type of impact they had upon our life, we still carry along with us, a piece of their puzzle. Meaning that everyone we encounter has a special impact upon our lives, because they have shaped us into what we are today. This is called the puzzle of life. Each puzzle growing and changing throughout our lives, but always becoming better and always having the same foundational pieces. Know that you DO make a difference in peoples lives! I thank you for sharing part of your puzzle with me!”

Erin Bridget Doyle

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

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