Ray's musings and humor

Archive for May, 2012

Thank you Joe!

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Kahlil Gibran

Good morning everyone. I had a full day yesterday and today will be the same, so since I am sure you do not want to hear the boring details I am excusing myself from publishing a new Daily. I hope you like this one. I like going back once in a while to revisit my friends who now only live in my memory and in my heart.


Ray’s Daily first published on Tuesday May 17, 2005

One of the best things that happened to me over the last decade or so has been the friends I have been fortunate enough to make. Many of the opportunities came from the years spent with Kiwanis and UNICEF as we worked together promoting universal salt iodization. Some of my fondest memories came out of the partnership we established with Morton Salt and its employees. Morton and its senior managers played a major role in the successes we had in helping to eliminate the world’s leading preventable cause of mental retardation. Wally, Brian, and Joe were more than colleagues, they were friends. As the years rolled by they attended Kiwanis conventions, publicized the Kiwanis/UNICEF effort, and allowed us to participate in the world’s largest food convention.

We worked together, we socialized together, and we continued to stay in touch. Wally continues to lead a busy life as Morton’s President, Brian retired sometime ago, but over time Joe and I got together when he came to Indianapolis. We planned to meet again the next time I got to Chicago. Joe was a big man, a world class tuba player, full of life, and just plain fun to be with. His heart was big as he was. He truly cared for people and made all of us who knew him feel that we were his best friends.

I am sure you know where this is going, today I heard from Brian who told me that our friend Joe died this weekend. He had just come back from a vacation in Bermuda and passed away at home. He was too young to go and again is a reminder to all of us to do what we would like to do, now. Even if you don’t do something for yourself at least tell those you know how much their friendship means to you while you can. Joe will always live on in my fond memories. He was a good man with a zest for life and a love of others. I will miss him and I am sorry that so many of you never got the chance to know him, you missed someone special. So goodbye Joe, Godspeed, and thanks I enjoyed it.

It is not easy to keep a smile on your face when you lose a friend. But as I am sure Joe would say, life goes on enjoy it while you can.


To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.

Thomas Campbell


Theology, kids style, from Wendy.

1. Dear God, please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now. Amanda

2. Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. Joyce

3. Dear Mr. God, I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot. Janet

4. God, I read the bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me. Love,  Alison

5. Dear God, how did you know you were God? Who told you? Charlene

6. Dear God, is it true my father won’t get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house? Anita

7. Dear God, I bet it’s very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. Nancy

8. Dear God, I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones. I like walking on water, too. Glenn

9. Dear God, my Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go? Love, Dennis

10. Dear God, do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don’t, who does? Nathan

11. Dear God, did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident? Norma

12. Dear God, in bible times, did they really talk that fancy? Jennifer

13. Dear God, how come you did all those miracles in the old days and don’t do any now? Billy

14. Dear God, please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year. Peter

15. Dear God, maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother. Larry

16. Dear God, I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet. What’s up? Don’t forget. Mark

17. Dear God, my brother told me about how you are born but it just doesn’t sound right. What do you say? Marsha

18. Dear God, if you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes. Barbara

19. Dear God, is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business? Donny

20. Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are already God. Charles

21. Dear God, it is great the way you always get the stars in the right place. Why can’t you do that with the moon? Jeff

22. Dear God, I am doing the best I can. Really. Frank

And, saving the best for last. . . . .

23. Dear God, I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool. Thomas


If you’ve ended up in hell with someone, and you’re still mad at them, where do you tell them to go?


Recently, I was on a plane that had taken off and was approaching cruising altitude, when one of the flight attendants came on the public- address system. She announced that she was sorry, but the plane’s restrooms were out of order.  The flight attendant went on to apologize to the passengers for any inconvenience. But then she finished cheerily with: “So, as compensation, free drinks will be served.”


The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have.

Norman Vincent Peale


A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: “GEORGE AND THE DRAGON”.

He knocked. The Innkeeper’s wife stuck her head out a window. “Could ye spare some victuals?” he asked.

The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition. “No!” she said rather sternly.

“Could I have a drink of water?”

“No!” she said again.

“Could I at least sleep in your stable then?”

“NO!”  By this time she was fairly shouting.

The vagabond still continued,  “Might I please…?”

“What *now*?” the woman interrupted impatiently.

“D’ye suppose,” he asked…”I might have a word with George?”


“Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air, and you.”

Langston Hughes


A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past an empty cart when he heard a woman ask, “Excuse me, did you want that cart?”

“No,” he answered. “I’m only after one thing.”

As he walked toward the store, he heard her murmur, “Typical male.”


A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.


When one door of happiness closes another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which is opened before us.

Helen Keller


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I love spare minutes

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that’s the stuff life is made of.


I sure am glad that I don’t buy things that are guaranteed for life for if I did there would be a contract out on my life from industry. In the past few weeks our washing machine died and provided a reason to also replace an ailing dryer. Then I had a couple of computer add-ons that decided they lived long enough, one was my backup external drive. My I-pod that was loaded with the books I listen to as I drive and when I exercise quit without even a death rattle so now I am the owner of a new 6th generation I-pod Nano. And today our central air conditioner failed its annual physical and the doctor replaced parts during his three hours of laborious activity. All this coupled with my recent dental investments have created a raft of unplanned investments, but at least I am alive and well. It is a good thing that I don’t think about the costs being equal to about three times my annual income when I first got married.


On another subject. I had a great meeting yesterday with a friend who works in the arts. When my friend arrived I was found engrossed in reading as I always am while I wait. I am at the time in life when I view every spare minute as a gift that I can use. As I reflected on that reality it reminded me that I had saved something a few years ago that reminded me that there was a lot I could do, even if all I had was 15 minutes. I bet you also have time on occasion that you could use. I won’t reprint the whole article but just give you a taste of what the author, Sue Brenner suggested.


Things You Can Do in 15 Minutes

  • Declutter Your Car − Are you early for a meeting and want to get something done? Declutter your car!
  • Take a Break − Are you tired? Do you long to take an actual break? When you discover a pocket of time in your day, do it! Calm down. Re-center yourself.
  • Do Nothing − How many times a week do you long for free time to do absolutely nothing? The key is to notice when this time actually arrives, and to fill it with… nothing.
  • Turn Your Mood Around − Suppose you need to get work done, but you’re in a funk. First, rate the level of your bad mood on a scale of 1-10 (1 being “minor,” 10 being “can hardly stand it”). Then ask yourself, “What’s a more rational way of thinking about this?” Now rate your mood again. The number will probably be lower. Then get moving–work your way further out of the funk.
  • Make Plans − Do you like to do fun things at night after work, but don’t always get around to the required planning? When a 15-minute window opens, make a dinner reservation or look up the local movie schedule. Then call your friend, colleague or loved one to join you for your planned event.
  • Sprint Clean Your Office − This is the opposite of doing nothing, but sometimes it has to be done! Scan your office. Pick the one area that needs the most attention first. The goal is to pick one area and clear it. Then experience a sense of calm and relief. Eliminating a mess you’ve been putting up with recharges your batteries.
  • Fix Something That’s Broken − You know all those things you think to yourself: “I have to change the light bulb,” “I need to get the latch on that window fixed,” “I have to let IT know about my computer glitches”? Use those 15 minutes to actually do something about them
  • Walk Around the Block − Your tennis shoes smile at you from behind your office door. Go ahead. Slip them on and take a walk around the block.

Whether you use these things you can do in 15 minutes to relax or to get something done, you’ll discover how beneficial these small blocks of time can be. Begin by noticing when you have a free 15 minutes. Then choose your action or non-action!


Time is a created thing. To say “I don’t have time” is to say “I don’t want to.”



The farm had been mortgaged, and gladly, to give daughter a college education. Now, driving home from the station after meeting her at the train, farmer Johnson was greatly disturbed when his daughter whispered, “I have a confession to make, Paw – I ain’t a virgin no more.” The old man shook his head sadly. “After all the sacrifices your Maw and I made to give you a good education, you still say ain’t!”


There is no greater joy nor greater reward than to make a fundamental difference in someone’s life.

Sister Mary Rose McGeady


Our new office computer system was down as much as it was working. My co-worker Cathy decided to stay late one evening to catch up on the work that had accumulated. On her way home, a police officer stopped her for speeding. “What a perfect end to an awful day!” she exclaimed. “Our computer is up, then down — up, then down. I stay late to catch up, and now this!”

The officer was unaffected by Cathy’s griping and he went to his car to prepare a citation. After what seemed an eternity, he returned with her license and registration. As he handed them to her, he smiled and said, “Our computer is down.”


I grew up in a large family. The only way my parents could afford to feed us all was to start a game of hide-and-seek right before dinner.


A housewife with three small children was getting dinner ready, when the telephone rang. The six-year-old picked it up, and said, “Hi, Daddy!”, and began telling him about her day.

She then passed the phone to her brother and sister, as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work. When it was finally the wife’s turn to talk, she took the receiver, and said, “Hi, Hon.”

“Thank goodness, Lady,” the voice on the other end replied. “I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered has arrived!”


He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.

Persian proverb


Jill went to a “Dude Ranch”. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if Jill wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. When he told her one had a horn and one didn’t, Jill replied, “The one without the horn is fine.  I don’t expect we’ll run into too much traffic.”


We need to learn to set our course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship.

Omar N. Bradley


A Polish gentleman went to the ophthalmologist who showed him a card, with the letters C Z W X N Q S T A C Z printed on it.

“Can you read this?” he asked

“Read it?” The gentleman replied, “I know the guy!”


Hold fast the time! Guard it, watch over it, every hour, every minute! Unregarded it slips away, like a lizard, smooth, slippery, faithless, a pixy wife.



Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I hope your day is as good as mine will be

“Enthusiasm is the most important thing in life.”

Tennessee Williams

I think Williams is right, enthusiasm is the key to truly getting the most out of life. When we forge ahead with optimistic energy we build the momentum that results in our accomplishing much more than we ever could if we just passively took on our tasks. No one is more surprised than I am about my charging off to my workouts every weekday morning before 5 AM, but I do it and I do it with enthusiasm. Possibly the pent up energy keeps me from finding reasons for not doing it and knowing that I will enjoy it.

I think part of the secret is my friendly coach’s attitude. She works hard and often carries a heavy load but no matter if she is under the weather or fatigued she still always exudes enthusiasm and it is catching. I don’t know about you but I have little time to face each day with dread, so I never focus on what could go wrong, I focus only on the part I am going to play as I make my day a good one.

Here is an edited version of what Catherine Pulsifer, author and motivator wrote about having enthusiasm. If you need to recharge your enthusiasm a good way to start is to follow her advice:


Having Enthusiasm

Having enthusiasm in performing any task gives you an abundance of energy. Harry Truman demonstrated his wisdom when he said, “I studied the lives of great men and famous women, and I found that the men and women who got to the top were those who did the jobs they had in hand, with everything they had of energy and enthusiasm.”

Those who demonstrate enthusiasm are far more likely to succeed because of their attitude towards the task at hand. Someone who lacks enthusiasm rarely succeeds, and the reason is because of the attitude that they have. When they face a problem they are more likely to give up.

An enthusiastic person believes in what they are doing. They are excited and look forward to the day to achieve the task at hand. They have self-confidence in themselves and will find solutions to any challenges that come along. Walter Chrysler once said, “The real secret of success is enthusiasm. Yes, more than enthusiasm, I would say excitement. I like to see men get excited. When they get excited they make a success of their lives.” The wisdom of his words still applies today.

We all have a choice, we can decide to be enthusiastic or we can just put in the day. If you are working at a job that you are not enthusiastic about, then find work that excites you. If you need to improve your skills to get that job, then take courses and learn all you can. You will find your life is much happier if you are doing something that excites you rather than bores you. Having enthusiasm for what you are doing does not mean you won’t face challenges or difficulties, but you will be able to overcome these difficulties as long as you keep your attitude positive.

The level of enthusiasm is a hallmark of any project or task no matter where you are or work. Anyone who demonstrates a continued enthusiasm for work, helping, kindness, caring and loving has the ability to encourage others to do the same accepting that this type of characteristic is the norm. Enthusiasm does not just apply to your own sense and demonstration of work or helping but it is the vicarious effect it has on others that is the real lasting effect. The more people who surround you with this growing attribute, the more people they affect. It is much like a domino effect where one domino affects the next, and that one affects the next and so on.

Put lots of enthusiasm in all you do!


“Enthusiasm is contagious. Be a carrier.”

Susan Rabin



My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire…

I noticed your cat.



She said: While I was visiting my sister one evening, I took out a candy dispenser that was shaped like a miniature person. “How does that thing work?” she asked.

As I turned the figurine’s arm to pop candy out, my sister laughed.  “I see it’s a lot like my husband,” she said.  “You have to twist his arm to get anything out of him.”


Middle-aged wife to husband at computer: “Yes, honey, I think you can safely assume that a romantic e-mail from Pamela Lee Anderson is a prank.”


Nathan is talking to his lawyer. “Here’s the deal, Abe. If you’re absolutely sure I’ll win the case, I’ll give you the business.”

“OK,” replies Abe, “but before I can give you my opinion, I obviously need to know the facts.”

So Nathan goes into great detail about his failed partnership and ends up saying, “So now you’ve heard everything, do you think I can sue my partner and get my money back?”

“Well,” replies Abe, “from what I’ve just heard, it’s clear to me that you will win. It’s rare to have such an open-and-shut case.”

Nathan goes very white when he hears this.

“What’s the matter?” asks Abe.

“I told you my partner’s side of the case,” replies Nathan.


“Whatever you’re ready for is ready for you.”

Mark Victor Hansen


He said: The computer company my wife works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that included a pair of cuff links. One was inscribed Ctrl (control) and the other Esc (escape), just as they look on a computer keyboard. “They would make a good present for any man,” my wife commented to a colleague, “if only to remind him of the two things he can never have.”


“If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that.”

Milton Jones


When you have three boys, it’s hard to know whom to blame if something goes wrong in the house.

One father explained to a friend how he solved the problem:  “I send all three to bed without letting them watch television.  In the morning I go after the one with the black eye!”


Treat each day as your last, one day you will be right.


At the urging of his doctor, John moved to Arizona.

After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.

“Say, is this really a healthy place?”

“It sure is,” the man replied.

“When I first arrived here I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn’t have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed.”

“That’s wonderful!” said John. “How long have you been here?”

“I was born here.”


“The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm.”

Aldous Huxley


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

My valuables are weightless

“Don’t you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn’t developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don’t expect to see.”

Douglas Adams


I worked at the Central Indiana Special Olympics track and field meet on Saturday and was assisted part of the time by two high school age kids. I was again impressed with how willing they were to serve and how warm and friendly they were to everyone. My interaction with young people always seems to be positive. I think it is due to my learning just how smart they are, how they have yet to learn why not to do things and how their enthusiasm rubs off on me. I do know that there are many other kids who have problems, kids who are aggressive and anti-social but I don’t often get a chance to interact with them.

I have found that what appears so often to be intergenerational barriers to communication can be overcome if we just stop and listen to what young people have to say. In my case more often than not the kids are more knowledgeable and more reasoned than many of the folks I talk to from my generation. I truly respect them not just for their knowledge but also their willingness to take action while so many of us just sit on the sidelines and complain.


I worked the Kiwanis volunteer registration table at the games and was located next to a representative from a local utility who was registering a hundred or more volunteers from her company. I was pleased to be able to add her to my ever growing collection of friends. While we chatted I learned that she recently helped her mother make the transition to an assisted living facility that has worked out well as her mother has made many new friends and is substantially more active and involved then she would have been if she had stayed in her home.

I told her that I thought it would be great to move to a transitional setting so that we could take advantage of what there is for those of us who are adjusting to the changes brought on by age. I also hated the idea of waiting to get rid of a life time of needless trinkets and such until I was infirm. I realized in talking to her how fortunate I am that my most valuable collection is the friends, acquaintances and fond memories that I carry with me wherever I go. It is not what I own or what is around me that gives me comfort; it is the people I have met, cared about, respected and enjoyed that are the true treasures.


“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross


At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? And….What the word team means?”

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

“Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?”

The little boy nodded yes.

“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?”

Once again the little boy nodded.

He continued, “And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach a “dumb ass” is it?”

Again the little boy nodded.

“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother.”


To be able to look back upon one’s past life with satisfaction is to live twice.

Marcus Valerius Martial


The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.

One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. “I just got some news, Mom,” he said. “The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They’ve decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?”

“What do I think?” his mother said. “Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don’t think I could stand another one of these Canadian winters!”


Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn’t music.

William Stafford


A New Yorker taking a drive in the country happened upon a farmer feeding his pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig in his arms, hold it up to the branches of a tree and wait while the animal ate an apple. He would then move the pig from one apple to another until it was satisfied.

The city man watched this procedure for some time, then finally said to the farmer, “This seems an inefficient way of feeding your pigs. Why don’t you simply shake the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground? That would sure save a lot of time.”

The farmer looked puzzled, then shrugged and replied, “What’s time to a pig?”


“That’s what it takes to be a hero, a little gem of innocence inside you that makes you want to believe that there still exists a right and wrong, that decency will somehow triumph in the end”

Lise Hand


A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, “Honey, are you ready yet?”

Shouting back, the woman replies, “For crying out loud, I’ve been telling you for the last half hour that I’ll be ready in a minute!


I’m addicted to placebos. I’d give them up, but it wouldn’ make any difference.

Steven Wright


Jack hadn’t been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting, saying,

“You look like Helen Brown.”

“Well,” the woman snapped back, “you don’t look so great in blue either!”


“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

Author unknown


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Food for thought

“Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.”

Leonard Cohen

I am running a little late this morning so back to the past again today. Here is a copy of the Daily I first published on May 11, 2005

Ray’s Daily

I often think that I have become a maxim and quote pack rat. I often find that a voice from the past will wake me up to something that is obvious, right, and in many cases easily overlooked. Often we get bogged down in our problems, in our jobs and so much more that we spend little time stopping and getting back to the basics that are important to our happiness and wellbeing. Here some thoughts I pulled out of the grab bag for you to think about.

  • Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.
  • Don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart…but if you don’t, you might break theirs.
  • Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much…for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all.
  • Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of ejection was too hard to handle?
  • We tell lies when we are afraid… afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie… the thing we fear grows stronger.
  • Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Think of all the things we would have missed if we hadn’t allowed ourselves to jump into life. I hope everyone makes sure they jump now while they still can.


Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

– T. S. Eliot


You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?” asked the judge.

“Yes,” answered the suspect.

“And what did you steal?”

“A dress, Your Honor,” replied the subject.

“One dress?” echoed the judge. “But you admit breaking in four times!”

“Yes, Your Honor,” sighed the suspect. “But three times my wife didn’t like the color.”


“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Leo Buscaglia


A man took his old duck to the Veterinarian, concerned because the duck wouldn’t eat. The Vet explained to the man that as ducks age their upper bills grow down over their lower bills, and make it difficult for the animal to pick up it’s food.

“What you need to do is gently file the upper bill down, even with the lower bill. But you must be extra careful because the duck’s nostrils are located in the upper bill and if you file down too far, when the duck takes a drink of water it’ll drown.”

The man goes about his business and about a week later the Vet runs into his patient.

“Well, how is that duck of yours?” the Vet inquires.

“He’s dead.” declared the heartbroken man.

“I told you not to file his upper bill down too far!

He took a drink of water and drowned didn’t he?” insisted the Vet.

“No.” lamented the man. “I think he was dead before I took him out of the vise.”


People who cough incessantly never seen to go to the doctor, they go to banquets, concerts, and church.


“I’m prescribing these pills for you,” said the doctor to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at about three hundred pounds. “I don’t want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time….”


“To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.”

Benjamin Franklin


A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. “Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!” she screams.

Ground control receives her call for help and answers back: “Don’t worry, madam. I’ll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position”

“I’m 5″2′ and sitting in the front”


“Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.”

William Makepeace Thackeray


David wasn’t feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked.

After a thorough examination, the doctor said, “Well David, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking.”

“I see,” said David. “Well, to be honest with you Doc, let’s go with second best.’


The enjoyment of life would be instantly gone if you removed the possibility of doing something.

Chauncey Depew


Jewish Mothers don’t differ from any other in the world when it comes to bragging about their sons.  One Mother, trying to out-do another when it came to opportunities available to their just graduated-from-college sons said, “My Irving has had so many fine interviews, his resume is now in its fifth printing.”


We should all swap problems; everyone knows how to solve the other fellow’s.


I was visitin’ over at the old Perfesser’s, when little Maury came over, tugged on my pants leg and excitedly exclaimed, “I got a new bicycle, do you want to see it?”

I said, “Sure, little Maury.”

So off to the backyard we went. When we got there, I saw his brand new bicycle.

“Boy, Maury!! That’s a beautiful bicycle,” I complimented. “Can you ride it?”

“Yeah, I can ride it,” he said, then with a sad face he pouted, “but it’s broke.”

I looked at the new bicycle and couldn’t see anything wrong with it, so I asked him, “Well, what’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know,” little Maury shrugged, “but every time I ride it, it falls down!”


Benny the psychiatrist got a postcard one morning from one of his patients. It read, “Having a wonderful time. Wish you were here so you could tell me why.”


Greater is he who acts from love than he who acts from fear.

Simeon Ben Eleazar


Stay well, do good work, and have fun

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

We just have to keep going

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.”

Walter Elliot


I learned a long time ago that perseverance is one of the most important behaviors exhibited by successful people. I know in my early years when I flew around the country as the last resort when there were difficult computer problems I often had no one to turn to but myself. I frequently would start with no idea what to do so I did the only thing I could, I kept going. There is a lot to be learned from the race between the turtle and the hare, the turtle did not rest on his laurels nor put off his progress waiting for another day, he just kept going.

These days as I am involved in a major life style change I again find value in perseverance. I honestly think that if I excuse myself from following my daily exercise program that it would not be long before the excuses were easier than doing what should be done. Of course the jury is still out as to whether or not I will sustain the self-discipline required to continue what is now providing me so much reward but I am confident that by taking one step at a time, like the turtle, I will persevere. Of course I also have the added incentive of really liking what I am doing, I meet good people every morning, I regularly get e-mail kudos from the big computer monitoring my activity and best of all I get a flying start on my day each morning.

Steve Brunkhorst wrote about perseverance not long ago and I like what he said, here is what he sent me in an e-mail:


Steady Perseverance

Steady perseverance is taking a one positive action after the next toward a specific accomplishment, performing each action with excellence, and enjoying each accomplishment without anxiety about the future.

Perseverance is indeed a world class trait displayed by those who have a meaningful direction in their lives. Without a meaningful direction, perseverance can be wasted on harmful or time-wasting pursuits. However, when we know where we are headed – even if we cannot see the finish line – the essential trait of perseverance gives us fulfillment, energy, and staying-power in the most challenging of times.

We must also be aware of three negative traits. These are desperation, discouragement, and cynicism. These traits are dangerous thieves; they will drain positive energy, waste valuable time, and steal one’s emotional and physical health. Desperation, discouragement, and cynicism persevere only in self-pity, doubt, and skepticism leading to self-destructive behaviors.

When we choose a specific destination or goal and move toward it with perseverance, we are able to transform these self-defeating traits into determination, encouragement, and faith. By applying these positive traits toward a worthwhile purpose, we can make significant contributions to our world.

When you feel discouraged, seek encouragement from others who recognize your talents and believe in your goals. When you feel desperate or cynical, know that when you are ready and willing, you can transform these feelings into determination and faith. Then persevere by accomplishing one small task with excellence – then another, and another.

Ask yourself: What is one meaningful destination I must reach during my lifetime? What small contribution can I make today that will lead me closer to that destination?

When determination, encouragement, and faith are driven by steady perseverance, you will act with effectiveness and power, and your natural talents will move you closer to your most cherished dreams.


“If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius.”

Joseph Addison


Molly was dying and on her deathbed, she gave final instructions to her husband David. “David, you’ve been so good to me all these years. I know you never even thought about another woman. But now that I’m going, I want you to marry again as soon as is possible and I want you to give your new wife all my expensive clothes.”

“I can’t do that, my darling,” David said. “You’re a size 16 and she’s only a 10.”


Leadership is doing what is right when no one is watching.

George Van Valkenburg


While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face. As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine,” I said, touched by her concern.

“Oh, good,” she continued.  “So will you be vacating your parking space now?”


It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities.

Josiah Stamp


If you upset your wife, she nags you…..

If you upset her even more, you get the silent treatment.

Don’t you think it’s worth the extra effort?


If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.

Abraham Maslow


A little girl from Minneapolis came home from Sunday school with a frown on her face. “I’m not going back there anymore,” she announced with finality. “I don’t like the Bible they keep teaching us.”

“Why not?” asked her astonished mother.

“Because,” said the little girl, “that Bible is always talking about St. Paul, and it never once mentions Minneapolis.”


If the rich could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living.


Two women were discussing marriage, and one said, “We’ve been married twenty-five years, and every night my husband has complained about the food. Not one night without complaining about the food.”

The other woman said, “That’s awful. Doesn’t it bother you?”

The first one said, “Why should I object if he doesn’t like his own cooking?”


Don’t be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs.  Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger.  If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves. 

Dale Carnegie


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Today is going to be great

“Our limitations and success will be based, most often, on your own expectations for ourselves. What the mind dwells upon, the body acts upon.”

Denis Waitley

Boy am I glad yesterday is over. I had a little bit of difficulty doing my cardio stuff and had to slow down. I figured since it was only 5:30 AM and the polls for our primary election would not open until 6:00 AM I would grab a bite of breakfast, good idea but nothing was open so I went home and fixed it myself. I then showed up at an empty polling place at 6:15 AM and they could not find me on the voter list. After they verified my address, that I had a pulse and could steam up a mirror they called election headquarters where they learned I was real and supposed to vote where I was. The election judge came over and looked and unstuck the two pages in the election book and found the hidden sheet that had my information. It was then on to the dentist for another two and a half hours of preliminary work that will be used to make a permanent multi-tooth bridge that I will have put in during another marathon session on the 22nd. I also paid the total bill and went home to let my wife know we would not be buying a private island after which I called my IRA holder and had them sell some stuff so we will have food money.

So my friends as you can see my day today will be better than yesterday and full of good cheer. I am now off to the exercise palace to do some cardio and a lot of strength stuff. After that I only have an eleven AM seminar after which I am going on a nap vacation for a few hours, ah sweet rest, the elixir of the aged. So I expect today to be better and you know what, it will be. I use Ralph Marston’s philosophy as I face each new day. Here is what he wrote a few years ago.


Just like you expect

When you are prepared to find fault, you will. When you are prepared to find goodness and value, you will. What you are looking for determines what you find. What you are expecting determines what you experience.

Expectations don’t magically change reality. Expectations do something even more powerful — they change the way you deal with reality.

Is this going to be a positive, productive day or a disappointing, frustrating one? What do you expect?

The great thing is that you can expect whatever you choose to expect. And though the specific details won’t always match your expectations, the overall tone of the day will be just like you most sincerely expect.

Expect the best. Proceed under the assumption that you’ll get the best, from yourself and others, and you’re well on your way to getting it.


Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!

Dr. Seuss


A man traveling by train asks the ticket collector what time the train stops at Victoria.

“Sir, we don’t stop at Victoria.”

“But I have to get off there!”

“Sorry sir, we don’t stop at Victoria”

“But you don’t understand, I have a VERY important meeting in Victoria. I *MUST* get off there!”

“Well, there might be one thing I can do. I might be able to get the engineer to slow down the train a little. Then I can dangle you out the door and lower you onto the platform.”

“Will that work?”

“It’s worth a try.”  As they approached the platform, the train is slowing from 50 MPH. The collector hangs the man in mid-air out the door. The man starts running in mid-air.

“Run faster! Faster!” He lowers the man and the man’s feet touch the platform. His shoes start to smoke! His heel comes off! He’s running at 30 MPH. He’s made it! He starts to slow down! The other passengers stare in amazement. As the last car goes by, a hand grabs the man by the shirt collar and lifts him right back into the train! As he’s helped back on the train the gent who picked him up says,

“Man you’re lucky I was here to help! This train doesn’t even STOP in Victoria!”


“The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.”


A bishop discovered a tribe of Indians in the Yukon who had never recorded a baptism, confirmation or marriage. The bishop soon rectified the situation by baptizing and confirming everyone. He also married every beaming couple that walked by. Later, the tribal chief told the Bishop the tribe had never had so much fun. The bishop asked the chief which part they enjoyed the most. “The marriage service,” the chief said, smiling. “We all got new wives!”


It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.


A couple is having breakfast when they hear on the radio that there is going to be a 2-3 inch snowfall and that they have to park their car on the “even” side of the street for snow removal. The blond wife grabs the car keys and moves the car to the opposite side of the block.

The next day at breakfast they hear that 4-5 inches of snow are expected and parking will be on the odd-numbered side of the street. Again blondie moves the car.

The day after that, they hear that a whopper of a snowstorm is expected, with 6-10 inches of snow set to fall, and that people should park on — All of a sudden, the radio goes dead.

Blondie looks at her husband and in near hysterics and says, “What on earth should we do now?”

Without looking up from his coffee, he answers, “Maybe you should just leave the car in the garage.”


If not for STRESS I’d have no energy at all.


Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court judge said, “and I’ve decided to give your wife $275 a week.”

“That’s very fair, your honor,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”


“A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.”

Sir Winston Churchill


At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that the tombstone reads, “Here lies Phyllis, wife of Murray, L.L.D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice.”

Suddenly, Murray bursts into tears.  His brother says, “You should cry, pulling a stunt like this!”

Through his tears, Murray croaks, “You don’t understand!  They left out the phone number!”


Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Margaret Mead


A grasshopper walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender turns to the grasshopper and says “hey, you know we have a drink named after you?”

The grasshopper responds, “Why in the heck do you have a drink named Bob?”


If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.

Tony Robbins


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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