Ray's musings and humor

Food for thought

“Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.”

Leonard Cohen

I am running a little late this morning so back to the past again today. Here is a copy of the Daily I first published on May 11, 2005

Ray’s Daily

I often think that I have become a maxim and quote pack rat. I often find that a voice from the past will wake me up to something that is obvious, right, and in many cases easily overlooked. Often we get bogged down in our problems, in our jobs and so much more that we spend little time stopping and getting back to the basics that are important to our happiness and wellbeing. Here some thoughts I pulled out of the grab bag for you to think about.

  • Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.
  • Don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart…but if you don’t, you might break theirs.
  • Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much…for fear that the other person does not care as much, or at all.
  • Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of ejection was too hard to handle?
  • We tell lies when we are afraid… afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie… the thing we fear grows stronger.
  • Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Think of all the things we would have missed if we hadn’t allowed ourselves to jump into life. I hope everyone makes sure they jump now while they still can.

~~~

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

– T. S. Eliot

~~~

You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?” asked the judge.

“Yes,” answered the suspect.

“And what did you steal?”

“A dress, Your Honor,” replied the subject.

“One dress?” echoed the judge. “But you admit breaking in four times!”

“Yes, Your Honor,” sighed the suspect. “But three times my wife didn’t like the color.”

~~~

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Leo Buscaglia

~~~

A man took his old duck to the Veterinarian, concerned because the duck wouldn’t eat. The Vet explained to the man that as ducks age their upper bills grow down over their lower bills, and make it difficult for the animal to pick up it’s food.

“What you need to do is gently file the upper bill down, even with the lower bill. But you must be extra careful because the duck’s nostrils are located in the upper bill and if you file down too far, when the duck takes a drink of water it’ll drown.”

The man goes about his business and about a week later the Vet runs into his patient.

“Well, how is that duck of yours?” the Vet inquires.

“He’s dead.” declared the heartbroken man.

“I told you not to file his upper bill down too far!

He took a drink of water and drowned didn’t he?” insisted the Vet.

“No.” lamented the man. “I think he was dead before I took him out of the vise.”

~~~

People who cough incessantly never seen to go to the doctor, they go to banquets, concerts, and church.

~~~

“I’m prescribing these pills for you,” said the doctor to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at about three hundred pounds. “I don’t want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time….”

~~~

“To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.”

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. “Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!” she screams.

Ground control receives her call for help and answers back: “Don’t worry, madam. I’ll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position”

“I’m 5″2′ and sitting in the front”

~~~

“Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.”

William Makepeace Thackeray

~~~

David wasn’t feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked.

After a thorough examination, the doctor said, “Well David, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking.”

“I see,” said David. “Well, to be honest with you Doc, let’s go with second best.’

~~~

The enjoyment of life would be instantly gone if you removed the possibility of doing something.

Chauncey Depew

~~~

Jewish Mothers don’t differ from any other in the world when it comes to bragging about their sons.  One Mother, trying to out-do another when it came to opportunities available to their just graduated-from-college sons said, “My Irving has had so many fine interviews, his resume is now in its fifth printing.”

~~~

We should all swap problems; everyone knows how to solve the other fellow’s.

~~~

I was visitin’ over at the old Perfesser’s, when little Maury came over, tugged on my pants leg and excitedly exclaimed, “I got a new bicycle, do you want to see it?”

I said, “Sure, little Maury.”

So off to the backyard we went. When we got there, I saw his brand new bicycle.

“Boy, Maury!! That’s a beautiful bicycle,” I complimented. “Can you ride it?”

“Yeah, I can ride it,” he said, then with a sad face he pouted, “but it’s broke.”

I looked at the new bicycle and couldn’t see anything wrong with it, so I asked him, “Well, what’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know,” little Maury shrugged, “but every time I ride it, it falls down!”

~~~

Benny the psychiatrist got a postcard one morning from one of his patients. It read, “Having a wonderful time. Wish you were here so you could tell me why.”

~~~

Greater is he who acts from love than he who acts from fear.

Simeon Ben Eleazar

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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