Ray's musings and humor

“Our limitations and success will be based, most often, on your own expectations for ourselves. What the mind dwells upon, the body acts upon.”

Denis Waitley

Boy am I glad yesterday is over. I had a little bit of difficulty doing my cardio stuff and had to slow down. I figured since it was only 5:30 AM and the polls for our primary election would not open until 6:00 AM I would grab a bite of breakfast, good idea but nothing was open so I went home and fixed it myself. I then showed up at an empty polling place at 6:15 AM and they could not find me on the voter list. After they verified my address, that I had a pulse and could steam up a mirror they called election headquarters where they learned I was real and supposed to vote where I was. The election judge came over and looked and unstuck the two pages in the election book and found the hidden sheet that had my information. It was then on to the dentist for another two and a half hours of preliminary work that will be used to make a permanent multi-tooth bridge that I will have put in during another marathon session on the 22nd. I also paid the total bill and went home to let my wife know we would not be buying a private island after which I called my IRA holder and had them sell some stuff so we will have food money.

So my friends as you can see my day today will be better than yesterday and full of good cheer. I am now off to the exercise palace to do some cardio and a lot of strength stuff. After that I only have an eleven AM seminar after which I am going on a nap vacation for a few hours, ah sweet rest, the elixir of the aged. So I expect today to be better and you know what, it will be. I use Ralph Marston’s philosophy as I face each new day. Here is what he wrote a few years ago.

 

Just like you expect

When you are prepared to find fault, you will. When you are prepared to find goodness and value, you will. What you are looking for determines what you find. What you are expecting determines what you experience.

Expectations don’t magically change reality. Expectations do something even more powerful — they change the way you deal with reality.

Is this going to be a positive, productive day or a disappointing, frustrating one? What do you expect?

The great thing is that you can expect whatever you choose to expect. And though the specific details won’t always match your expectations, the overall tone of the day will be just like you most sincerely expect.

Expect the best. Proceed under the assumption that you’ll get the best, from yourself and others, and you’re well on your way to getting it.

~~~

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!

Dr. Seuss

~~~

A man traveling by train asks the ticket collector what time the train stops at Victoria.

“Sir, we don’t stop at Victoria.”

“But I have to get off there!”

“Sorry sir, we don’t stop at Victoria”

“But you don’t understand, I have a VERY important meeting in Victoria. I *MUST* get off there!”

“Well, there might be one thing I can do. I might be able to get the engineer to slow down the train a little. Then I can dangle you out the door and lower you onto the platform.”

“Will that work?”

“It’s worth a try.”  As they approached the platform, the train is slowing from 50 MPH. The collector hangs the man in mid-air out the door. The man starts running in mid-air.

“Run faster! Faster!” He lowers the man and the man’s feet touch the platform. His shoes start to smoke! His heel comes off! He’s running at 30 MPH. He’s made it! He starts to slow down! The other passengers stare in amazement. As the last car goes by, a hand grabs the man by the shirt collar and lifts him right back into the train! As he’s helped back on the train the gent who picked him up says,

“Man you’re lucky I was here to help! This train doesn’t even STOP in Victoria!”

~~~

“The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.”

~~~

A bishop discovered a tribe of Indians in the Yukon who had never recorded a baptism, confirmation or marriage. The bishop soon rectified the situation by baptizing and confirming everyone. He also married every beaming couple that walked by. Later, the tribal chief told the Bishop the tribe had never had so much fun. The bishop asked the chief which part they enjoyed the most. “The marriage service,” the chief said, smiling. “We all got new wives!”

~~~

It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.

~~~

A couple is having breakfast when they hear on the radio that there is going to be a 2-3 inch snowfall and that they have to park their car on the “even” side of the street for snow removal. The blond wife grabs the car keys and moves the car to the opposite side of the block.

The next day at breakfast they hear that 4-5 inches of snow are expected and parking will be on the odd-numbered side of the street. Again blondie moves the car.

The day after that, they hear that a whopper of a snowstorm is expected, with 6-10 inches of snow set to fall, and that people should park on — All of a sudden, the radio goes dead.

Blondie looks at her husband and in near hysterics and says, “What on earth should we do now?”

Without looking up from his coffee, he answers, “Maybe you should just leave the car in the garage.”

~~~

If not for STRESS I’d have no energy at all.

~~~

Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court judge said, “and I’ve decided to give your wife $275 a week.”

“That’s very fair, your honor,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”

~~~

“A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.”

Sir Winston Churchill

~~~

At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that the tombstone reads, “Here lies Phyllis, wife of Murray, L.L.D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice.”

Suddenly, Murray bursts into tears.  His brother says, “You should cry, pulling a stunt like this!”

Through his tears, Murray croaks, “You don’t understand!  They left out the phone number!”

~~~

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Margaret Mead

~~~

A grasshopper walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender turns to the grasshopper and says “hey, you know we have a drink named after you?”

The grasshopper responds, “Why in the heck do you have a drink named Bob?”

~~~

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.

Tony Robbins

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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