Ray's musings and humor

Bye Ray, have fun

“The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

It is around 4 AM and I am taking my sore body off to the workout center to do about an hour of cardiopulmonary exercises. Then home to snack, change and get going to my pulmonologist (lung guy) to let him praise my weight loss and improved physical state, at least he better. Honest you guys I have been really good this week so I am giving myself a three day weekend as my reward. But I did not want to send you three blank pages so here is Ray’s Daily first published on May 4, 2005.

 

Ray’s Daily

Some time ago someone sent me a few of their maxims for us to read and think about, they are:

  • I’ve learned that ultimately ‘takers’ lose and ‘givers’ win. This may not always be true but I find I like givers a lot better, especially when I look in the mirror and see that it was me.
  • Life’s precious moments don’t have value, unless they are shared. Amen to this one. The sunset is never as beautiful as it is when you see it with someone you care about. Sharing the things that give you pleasure are the best gifts you can give to another.
  • If you don’t start, it’s certain you won’t arrive. It is sad that there are so many that wait until the race is almost over to start living their lives.
  • We often fear the thing we want the most. And I find it hard to understand why we sometimes feel guilty when we get it. In my experience the goal achieved often loses its luster as the process of getting there is often more rewarding than the achievement itself.
  • Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say! So often the best communications take place without words, holding a hand or brushing away a tear at the right time always communicates more than what might be said.
  • Look for opportunities…. not guarantees. It seems to me that when we don’t take ourselves too seriously, are not excessively afraid what others might think if we fail, we end up doing great things. Even when we don’t win we are still able to take pride in the fact we tried.
  • Life is what’s coming…. not what was. I don’t know about you but I know I don’t have time to live down the past. Everyday is a new adventure and I can hardly wait to see how it turns out.

Ray

~~~

There are only two ways to live your life.

One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle.

Albert Einstein

~~~

Jill and Nadine were having lunch and Nadine looked a little upset. “What’s wrong?” asked Jill.

“I’m really worried about myself,” Nadine said forlornly. “My memory has always been a source of quiet pride to me, but lately it’s been failing me. I’m having a hard time remembering things from the mundane to the major.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” Jill said consolingly, “sounds like you’ll forget all about it tomorrow.”

~~~

I was shopping at the supermarket today and I saw a package of Turkey Bacon. What’s up with that?? Makes me wonder WHAT is going on at that farm?

~~~

The patrol officer stopped a motorist for a traffic violation. Standing outside his expensive foreign car, the red-faced driver frantically waved his hands and jumped up and down.

“I’ll have your job for this!” he shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Sir, you wouldn’t want my job,” replied the unruffled officer as he wrote out the citation.

“The hours are long, the pay is low, and you meet some of the nastiest people.”

~~~

Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

In a small town in the Old Country, the Rabbi died. His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again. But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher. The poor Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been wed to a scholar, and the butcher had no great formal education. However, she was lonely, so she agreed, and they were married.

After the marriage, Friday came. She went to the mikvah (a Jewish ritual bath to get rid of impurities). Then, she went home to prepare to light the candles. The butcher leaned over to her and said, “My mother told me that after the mikvah and before lighting the candles, it’s a mitzvah to have sex.” So they did.

She lit the candles. He leaned over again and said, My father told me that after lighting the candles it’s good to have sex.” So they did.

They went to bed after prayers to get ready for Shabbos. When they awoke he said to her, “My grandmother said that before you go to the synagogue it’s a mitzvah to have sex.” So they did.

After praying all morning, they came home to rest; and again he whispers in her ear, “My grandfather says after praying it’s a mitzvah to have sex.” So they did.

On Sunday she went out to shop for food and met a friend who asked, “Nu, so how is the new husband?” She replied, “Well, he is no scholar; but he comes from a wonderful family.”

~~~

May your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, never in want.

Irish toast

~~~

A millionaire informs his attorney, “I want a stipulation in my Will that my wife is to inherit everything, but only if she remarries within six months of my death.”

“Why such an odd stipulation?” asks the attorney.

“Because,” he says, “I want someone to be sorry I died.”

~~~

The question is not “Do I have the gifts and strengths that I need for my life,” but “Am I seeking to discover my gifts and strengths?”

Paula Ripple

~~~

She said: I was self-conscious about going to the gym, because I thought the pounds I had put on would make me stand out among the spandex-clad regulars.

I chose a treadmill way in the back corner so I’d be inconspicuous. However, as I exercised, my worst fears came true. At least a dozen people turned to stare at me periodically. I thought it might be my imagination, but then one woman even squinted to get a better look. Imagine!

Completely mortified, I stepped off the machine and started to leave.

When I turned around to see if I left my towel back there, I realized that the gym’s only wall clock had been hanging just inches above my head.

~~~

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.

Dale Turner

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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