Ray's Daily

The Challenge Increases

A man’s health can be judged by which he takes two at a time – pills or stairs.

Joan Welsh

There is a good chance that my life is going to change starting today. I met with my coach/trainer on Friday. It turns out she is a former body builder, police officer and medical technician and if that was not enough she also helped two of her kids become champion wrestlers. All that is important because she was not satisfied with limiting my physical fitness program to moderate cardio-vascular exercise, she is adding a strength program and exercise classes and threatening me with harm if I don’t do as she says. I am beginning to wonder if a good health program is bad for your health.

Currently it looks like I am going to have to start my day earlier in order to meet my fitness needs without interfering with my other obligations. So most days I will appear at the center at 5:15 AM then workout for one hour and return to change and get on with my day. It is likely that you will get the Daily at odd hours during the day as normally I have been putting it together before I leave in the morning, we’ll see how it goes. I do wonder if my capacity to do what she asks is exceeded by her belief that I can do it. I now wish that I had not told her that I thought I was better off working at a rate just short of my cardiac discomfort zone and then backing off rather than setting too low a rate.

Since I am just starting I will find out if her whips are just for show or if they are for slacker discipline. In all honesty I am grateful that my insurance will pay for me to regain both my motor skills and my heart and pulmonary performance, or at least get them to a reasonable level.

I checked to see if Ralph Marston had any words of wisdom to offer and this is what I found.

Getting in the habit

It is just as easy to get into a “good” habit as it is to get into a “bad” habit. That’s a little secret that successful people live by. In fact it is really just as easy to be successful as it is to be unsuccessful. It is just a matter of choice. You can spend your time doing the things that will bring you closer to your goals, or you can spend your time seeking immediate comfort and gratification.

People complain that “it’s too hard to exercise every day.” That’s nonsense. Exercise and movement are joyful, natural conditions that make us feel great. It’s not hard. It’s just that they’re in the habit of not exercising. Once they make the choice to exercise, it is no more difficult than sitting on the couch watching TV.

Success in anything can be summed up very concisely. It’s really quite simple. First, know what you want and know the reasons you want it. Second, determine exactly what you need to do to get it. Third, make a habit of doing those things that you need to do. That’s really all there is to it. It’s not complicated, and it is within the reach of anyone.

Oh, yes, you may think you need to have the right amount of self esteem, or the proper training, or the ideal environment, or support from your family, or any number of things. While all these things are fine, they’re not necessary. All that’s needed is the desire, the plan, and the action. If your desire is strong enough, you’ll find a way to get the things you need. If your plan is well-constructed, it will take you where you want to go, as long as you have the discipline to follow through on it.

~~~

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

Marsha Dobl

~~~

In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine-chilling cries.  Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression…

In America we call it golf.

~~~

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

Lady Nancy Astor

~~~

ANOTHER POEM FOR COMPUTER USERS OVER 40

A computer was something on TV

From a Science Fiction show of note

A window was something you hated to clean

And ram was the father of a goat.

Meg was the name of my girlfriend

And gig was a job for the nights

Now they all mean different things

And that really mega bytes.

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano.

A Memory was something that you lost with age

A CD was a bank account

And if you had a 3-in. floppy

You hoped nobody found out

Compress was something you did to the garbage

Not something you did to a file

And if you unzipped anything in public

You’d be in jail for a while.

Log on was adding wood to the fire

Hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And a backup happened to your commode.

Cut you did with a pocket knife

Paste you did with glue

A web was a spider’s home

And a virus was the flu.

I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper

And the memory in my head.

I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash

But when it happens they wish they were dead

~~~

“My grandfather’s a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day he took me aside and left me there.”

Ron Richards

~~~

You may have heard the old joke about Shirley, the Jewish mother in NYC, who brought her 6 year old boy to the psychoanalyst, who diagnosed: “Nothing much wrong with your son, just a slight Oedipus complex.

Said Shirley the mom… “Oedipus, schmedipus, the important thing is that he loves his mother”

~~~

Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity. The soul must see through these eyes alone, and if they are dim, the whole world is clouded.

Goethe

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

There is a lot waiting for you to see

“Always remember to slow down in life; live, breathe, and learn; take a look around you whenever you have time and never forget everything and every person that has the least place within your heart.”

I have another one of those full days and today includes some special events. I will be leaving very early to meet with a Wellness Coach/Trainer at the facility where I will continue and even expand my exercise program. We will assess my current status, review my past history and lay out a set of short and long range goals and outline the steps that I will take to get there.

As soon as I am done I will be off to see one of my granddaughters compete in a Gymnastic Meet. This is a rare treat since we have not seen her do so in person for a couple of years as normally she is in completion in other US cities that are too far away for us to get to. So I have been limited to only seeing videos of her competing that are on the net. Fortunately her skills coupled with an outstanding academic record has resulted in a number of major universities expressing interest in her attending their schools.

I am sure that by this time you recognize Ray’s reprint preamble and of course you are right. Here is the Daily that I distributed on this day in 2004.

It is spring, what we see is up to us.

Every moment is a miracle. Be still, look closely, and you can see it. The simple, quiet moments, that are so commonplace you don’t easily remember them, are just as special as the glorious, unforgettable ones. Because those quiet, simple moments are the ones that shape who you are.

It’s easy to sense life’s many treasures in the rare moments of grandeur. Yet when you can also appreciate the value of the quiet, simple moments, then you’ve tapped into something truly magnificent. The common moments matter because there are so many of them. When you live each one to the fullest, then life is full indeed.

The big, exciting moments give life its spice. The small, quiet ones provide the substance. In every moment there is a special treasure. Give your best to them all.

Ralph Marston

As the man once said, stop and smell the roses. Ray

~~~

One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

ROGER SAYS IT WAS GOOD & IT WAS

Were you a kid in the Fifties or earlier? Everybody makes fun of our childhood! Comedians joke. Grandkids snicker. Twenty-something’s shudder and say “Eeeew!” But was our childhood really all that bad? Judge for yourself:

In 1953 The US population was less than 150 million… Yet you knew more people then, and knew them better… And that was good.

The average annual salary was under $3,000… Yet our parents could put some of it away for a rainy day and still live a decent life… And that was good

A loaf of bread cost about 15 cents… But it was safe for a five-year-old to skate to the store and buy one… And that was good.

Prime-Time meant I Love Lucy, Ozzie and Harriet, Gunsmoke and Lassie… So nobody ever heard of ratings or filters… And that was good.

We didn’t have air-conditioning… So the windows stayed up and half a dozen mothers ran outside when you fell off your bike… And that was good.

Your teacher was either Miss Matthews or Mrs. Logan or Mr. Adkins… But not Ms Becky or Mr. Dan… And that was good.

The only hazardous material you knew about… was a patch of grassburrs around the light pole at the corner. And that was good.

You loved to climb into a fresh bed… Because sheets were dried on the clothesline… And that was good.

People generally lived in the same hometown with their relatives.. So “child care” meant grandparents or aunts and uncles… And that was good.

Parents were respected and their rules were law…. Children did not talk back….. and that was good.

TV was in black-and-white… But all outdoors was in glorious color….And that was certainly good.

Your Dad knew how to adjust everybody’s carburetor.. And the Dad next door knew how to adjust all the TV knobs.. And that was very good.

Your grandma grew snap beans in the back yard… And chickens behind the garage… And that was definitely good.

And just when you were about to do something really bad. Chances were you’d run into your Dad’s high school coach… Or the nosy old lady from up the street… Or your little sister’s piano teacher… Or somebody from Church…. ALL of whom knew your parents’ phone number… And YOUR first name… And even THAT was good!

REMEMBER…

Send this on to someone who can still remember Nancy Drew, The Hardy Boys, Laurel & Hardy, Abbott & Costello, Sky King, Little Lulu comics, Brenda Starr, Howdy Doody and The Peanut Gallery, The Lone Ranger, The Shadow Knows Nellie Belle, Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk as well as the sound of a real mower on Saturday morning, and summers filled with bike rides, playing cowboy, playing hide and seek and kick-the-can and Simon Says, baseball games, amateur shows at the local theater before the Saturday matinee, bowling and visits to the pool…and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar, and wax lips and bubblegum cigars

Didn’t that feel good, just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that! And was it really that long ago?

~~~

“If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

~~~

The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 a.m. He did his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m. he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him.

Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another moment and looked upward and reverently said, “A-a-a-men!”

~~~

“It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like.”

Jackie Mason

~~~

A group of W.Va. friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

Where’s Henry?” the others asked. “Henry had a stroke! of some kind.

He’s a couple of miles back up the trail,” the successful hunter replied.

“You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?” they inquired.

“A tough call,” nodded the hunter. “But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!

~~~

“A woman’s dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.”

Sophia Loren

~~~

“It’s no use. Art doesn’t listen to me,” said a little boy who was praying for a new bike.

“Art who?” asked the boy’s mother.

“Art in heaven,” came the reply.

~~~

At the beginning of the grandparents’ class I teach, I ask participants if they would share the very first feelings they had when they learned they were going to be grandparents. Most people say they were happy and excited. During one class, however, an expectant grandmother blurted, “I just hated it! I finally knew for certain that my daughter was having sex.”

~~~

Mitzi was at the Motor Vehicle Bureau applying for a driver’s license. Filling out the forms, when she came to the line: “Color of Hair”, she put…”L’oreal Preference 8 1/2B.”

~~~

My buddy applied for a job as an insurance salesman. Where the form requested “prior experience,” he wrote “lifeguard.”  That was it. Nothing else.

“We’re looking for someone who can not only sell insurance, but who can sell himself as well,” said the hiring manager. “How does working as a lifeguard pertain to salesmanship?”

My pal replied, “I couldn’t swim.”  He got the job.

~~~

Nobody sees a flower – really – it is so small it takes time – we haven’t time – and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.

Georgia O’Keeffe

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Thank you all!

Think of yourself as a resource to your clients; an advisor, counselor, mentor and friend.

Brian Tracy

As you can imagine my wife’s and my day yesterday was filled with events due in part to the fact it was our 59^th wedding anniversary. One of the highlights of the day for me was the many e-mailed congratulations from so many Daily readers, as well as from old friends and acquaintances. We received messages who were colleges years ago. I even heard from a dear old friend who was especially close to our family after far too many years of silence. I was especially pleased to receive messages from folks who cruised with us a long time ago. It was great, each message unlocked pleasant memories and some of the content even offered wise observations. Thank you all.

~~~

Another high spot of my day was an early meeting with a respected friend. My friend has a wide range of technical multimedia skills coupled with a critical eye and excellent creative ability. He owns his own company that specializes in helping others communicate with both their customers and the general public. He, like most successful entrepreneurs today realizes that things are moving too fast to ever stop and be satisfied with the status quo. In an effort to stay ahead of his industry and open up new opportunity he told me that he was considering acquiring the rights to use a new tool that would allow him to enter into new markets.

I shared with him that years ago my business had great success by using what we called at the time our “blank paper contract.” What we did was reverse many of the ways we did business by no longer providing customers only what we thought they needed and then only if they conformed to a rigid set of contractual terms and conditions. We decided we would find out what the prospect wanted or needed and then find ways to do what he wanted. I suggested to my friend that in today’s world I felt that success will come to the guy with the blank paper contact mindset. The guy who does not rely on developing a offering and then going out and finding someone to buy it, but rather who goes out and finds out what prospects want and then finding ways to give it to them. In my friends case his greatest product is himself. He has a wide range of experience and knowledge that provide a great foundation for developing tailored communication vehicles for his customers. He also is technically aware, rather than finding a tool and then using it to develop something aimed at a specific well defined prospect he has the ability to listen to what a prospect would like to do to enhance their organizations effectiveness and then defining, selecting and acquiring whatever tools he needs to provide his customer a leading edge solution. In addition he has the ability to help a customer better define what might help them to continue to grow their business.

In my case writing the contract after we defined the need and developed a solution allowed us to build a relationship based on easily understood and mutually agreed upon expectations. Rather than limiting ourselves to only offering what easily fit into a rigidly defined box we found out what our prospects wanted and then found or built a box to fit it in. What we did provided us substantial new business but even more importantly it resulted in great customer satisfaction. We also found that it is much easier to sell a service or product at a fair price to customer who understands what he wants then it is to sell to a customer who you have to convince he does not know what he wants, but you do.

~~~

Approach each customer with the idea of helping him or her solve a problem or achieve a goal, not of selling a product or service.

Brian Tracy

~~~

More from the unofficial Catholic dictionary:

Fast—God’s diet plan

Folk mass—The type of liturgy celebrated at the church of Saints Peter, Paul and Mary.

Font—The baptismal basin where the priest wets the baby’s head and the baby wets the priests vestments.

Free will—A gift from God that you will pay for later if you use it incorrectly.

Godparent— A person who has to baby-sit on request.

~~~

HE SAID : May I hold your hand?

SHE SAID: No thanks, it isn’t heavy.

~~~

The little young lady of the house, by way of punishment for some minor misdemeanor, was compelled to eat her dinner alone at a little table in a corner of the dining room.

The rest of the family paid no attention to her presence until they heard her audibly praying over her repast with the words, “I thank thee, Lord, for preparing a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.”

~~~

LUNCH AND LEARN SEMINAR: WHO’S CONTROLLING YOUR LIFE?

(Get your manager’s permission before attending)

~~~

While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman stormed up to her desk.  “Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday,” she complained.

The doctor came out and tried to calm her down.  “I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing,” he said.  “Why do you think it was taken here?”

“After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly.”

“I think” explained the surgeon gently, “that means your cataract operation was a success.”

(True story, we have a friend who reported that her aged Aunt reported that a side effect of her cataract operation was facial wrinkles.)

~~~

Once over the hill, you pick up speed.

~~~

Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers.

Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.” Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”

Tech Support: “Ok, now click your left mouse button.” Customer: (silence) “But I only have one mouse.”

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.” Customer: “Ok.” Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?” Customer: “No.” Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?” Customer: “No.” Tech Support: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?” Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”

~~~

If you work just for money, you’ll never make it. But if you love what you are doing, and always put the customer first, success will be yours.

Ray Kroc

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Thank you Nancy for 59 good years

One of the nicest things you can say to your partner, “If I had it to do over again, I’d choose you. Again.”

Author Unknown

It is hard to believe that my wife and I have been married 59 years as of today. It seems like we have had a series of shorter marriages as the years have rolled by. Meeting and marriage was followed by child rearing while meeting employment demands which often kept us apart for extended periods. Then the kids education, job assignment changes and even a couple of relocations kept our lives busy, sometimes challenging and always interesting. In 1969 we accepted a transfer to Indianapolis which was projected to be for a two year assignment and when asked to leave we decided to forgo promotion and stay in Indianapolis a city that provided us a home, family stability and the chance for more than just a vocation. The kids grew up left and excelled and in the process provided us seven wonderful grandchildren. We have learned to love our city where all our family has chosen to stay. I am also grateful to our friends who have made our later years better than we had any right to expect them to be. While we do have occasional health issues and are limited to a modest life style, our lives together could not be much better.

When we were married we were kids, I had just turned 18 but we have grown together and like everyone else we have had some bad times and some challenging times but we held together. Our memory book has been enriched not only by the gifts our family has provided by being special, at least in our eyes, but also by our many good friends and a multitude of mutually shared experiences. I am truly fortunate that I married someone who could forgive my faults, stand by me when things were tough and raise our children when I was busy elsewhere, so thanks Nancy and I look forward to the years we have yet to share..

I decided to look at a couple of previous Anniversary Day Dailies this one is from ten years ago.

April 11, 2002

49 years ago today the US Department of Health, Education and Welfare (HEW) was established and Nancy and I got married in New York City. The two events are unassociated. It is hard to believe that we have been in a trial marriage that long, I guess it will work out. I am often asked what is the secret of such a long marriage and I often give some flippant reply. But I think I really do know the main reason, it is just being there.

Being there during good times and bad.

Being there as we traveled the world.

Being there as we raised infant children who are now adults.

Being there to do something the other can’t do at the moment.

Being there to share the enjoyment of watching grandchildren mature.

Being there when we are out and when we are home.

Really just being there.

And then five years later on April 11, 2007 I wrote:

Nancy and I married on this day in 1953, it was a heck of a year. It was the year the US Department of Health, Education and Welfare (HEW) was established. Eisenhower was president and the Korean War was winding down.

The first issue of TV Guide was published; it was also the first time a west-to-east jet transatlantic nonstop flight took place. Some of our favorite songs where Vaya Con Dios by Les Paul & Mary Ford, Rags to Riches by Tony Bennett, Till I Waltz Again with You by Teresa Brewer, and No Other Love by Perry Como. The television shows we watched were: I Love Lucy, The Milton Berle Show, Arthur Godfrey’s Talent Scouts, Dragnet, You Bet Your Life with Groucho Marx, The Jack Benny Show, Ed Sullivan’s The Toast of the Town, The Jackie Gleason Show, This Is Your Life, What’s My Line, Your Hit Parade, and The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show. It was the year that we first saw Roman Holiday, Shane, Stalag 17, Lili, War Of The Worlds, and From Here To Eternity at the movies. Of course the really big news was that it was on this day that my wife and I got married at the Notre Dame Chapel in New York City. I was still in the Navy at the time and left not long after on the aircraft carrier, USS Wasp ending up in the Far East at the tail end of the war.

A lot has happened over the years, we have seen both good and bad times, raised children who have thrived and who provided us seven super grandchildren. We basically have done alright as we have grown older together. In all honesty I don’t think I would change anything, well maybe a few of the dumb things I did, but generally nothing. My life is filled with memories of old friends, other times, and in my case a lifetime partner.

It is the little things that create the environment in which we live. It is the shared workloads, the shared worries, the shared joy, and the shared dreams that give life meaning. We have learned everything need not be shared, separate interests, separate hobbies, differing opinions, keep life interesting and knowing that someone is there makes life worthwhile.

~~~

The heart of marriage is memories.

Bill Cosby

~~~

An elderly lady was known for her faith and her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout “Praise the Lord!”

Next door to her lived an atheist who would get angry at her proclamations and he would shout, “There ain’t no Lord!”

Hard times set in on the elderly lady and she prayed to God to send her some assistance… She stood on her front porch and shouted, “Praise the Lord…God I need food!! I am having a hard time. Please, Lord, send me some groceries.”

The next morning the lady went out on her porch, noted a large bag of groceries and she shouted, “Praise the Lord.”

The neighbor jumped up from behind a bush and said, “Ha ha.. I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries. God didn’t.”

The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and saying, “Praise the Lord. He not only sent me groceries but He made the devil pay for them. PRAISE THE LORD.”

~~~

Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.

~~~

The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef.

“Your veal parmigiana was superb,” the customer said. “I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there.”

“Naturally,” the chef said. “Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported.”

~~~

What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life – to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent, unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting.

George Elliott

~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

1,2,3….1,2,3

Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.

Edward Stanley

As many of you know I have really benefited lately from changes in my health status. I am not sure how much is because of the changes to my Pacemaker settings, my 20 plus pounds weight loss or my 4 months of exercise at the cardiac rehab center but I don’t really have to know. All three have value and are important if I am going to continue to do the things I want to do.

Up until now my exercise program was a combination of occasional time on my home based treadmill and my regular attendance at the rehab center. The center is about 20 minutes away and is only open on Monday, Wednesday and Friday so its use is somewhat limiting, in addition I am now paying $60 a month out of pocket for the use of the facility. I just found out that the YMCA which is only about 5 minutes away that includes a large exercise facility that is open seven days offers a Silver Sneaker exercise program that my AARP supplemental insurance will pay for since it is an investment in wellness. So I plan on changing to take advantage of seven day a week access and the short travel time that will allow me more scheduling flexibility. Now I just need to get my daughters friend Mary and others like her to threaten me with bodily harm if I don’t sustain a program of regular exercise. At least for now I am looking forward to what’s ahead,

The wise Gretchen Rubin sent the following some time ago, it now is time for me to burn it into my action plans.

12 Tips for Getting Regular Exercise — and the Benefits for Happiness and Fitness.

Exercise is a KEY to happiness. Research shows that people who exercise are healthier, more energetic, think more clearly, sleep better, and have delayed onset of dementia. They get relief from anxiety and mild depression. They perform better at work. Also, although it’s tempting to flop down on the couch when you’re feeling exhausted, exercise is actually a great way to boost energy levels. Feeling tired is a reason to exercise, not a reason to skip exercise.

But even when you admit that you’d feel better if you exercised, it can be very hard to adopt the habit. My idea of fun has always been to lie in bed, reading, preferably while also eating a snack – but I’ve managed to keep myself exercising over the years by using all these tricks on myself:

1. Always exercise on Monday. This sets the psychological pattern for the week.

2. If at all possible, exercise first thing in the morning. As the day wears on, you’ll find more excuses to skip exercising. Get it checked off your list, first thing.

3. Never skip exercising for two days in a row. You can skip a day, but the next day, you must exercise, no matter how inconvenient.

4. Give yourself credit for the smallest effort. My father always said that all he had to do was put on his running shoes and close the door behind him. Many times, by promising myself I could quit ten minutes after I’d started, I got myself to start – and then found that I didn’t want to quit, after all.

5. Think about context. I thought I disliked weight-training, but in fact, I disliked the guys who hung out in the weight-training area. Are you distressed about the grubby showers in your gym? Do you try to run in the mornings, but recoil from going out in the cold? Examine the factors that might be discouraging you from exercising.

6. Exercise several times a week. If your idea of exercise is to join games of pick-up basketball, you should be playing practically every day. Twice a month isn’t enough.

7. If you don’t have time both to exercise and take a shower, find a way to exercise that doesn’t require you to shower afterward. Each week, I have a very challenging weight-training session, but the format I follow doesn’t make me sweat. (Some of you are saying, “It can’t be challenging if you don’t sweat!” Oh yes, believe me, it is.)

8. Look for affordable ways to make exercising more pleasant or satisfying. Could you upgrade to a nicer or more convenient gym? Buy yourself a new iPod? Work with a trainer? Get a pedometer to keep track of your walking distances? Exercise is a high life priority, so this a worthwhile place to spend some money if that helps.

9. Think of exercise as part of your essential preparation for times you want to be in especially fine form — whether in performance (to be sharp for an important presentation) or appearance (to look good for a wedding) or mood (to deal with a stressful situation).

10. Remember one of my favorite Secrets of Adulthood, courtesy of Voltaire: Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Don’t decide it’s only worth exercising if you can run five miles or if you can bike for an hour. I have a friend who scorns exercise unless she’s training for a marathon — so she never exercises. Even going for a ten-minute walk is worthwhile. Do what you can.

11. Suit up. Even if you’re not sure you’re going to exercise, go ahead and put on your exercise clothes. Pack your bag. Get prepared. If you’re ready to go, you might find it easier just to go ahead and exercise.

12. Don’t kid yourself. Paying for a gym membership doesn’t mean you go to the gym. Having been in shape in high school or college doesn’t mean you’re in shape now. Saying that you don’t have time to exercise doesn’t make it true.

People often ask me, “So if I want to be happier, what should I be doing?” and I always say, “The first thing to do is to make sure you’re getting plenty of sleep and some exercise.” I know, that answer doesn’t sound properly transcendent and high-minded on the subject of happiness, but research shows that you’d be wise to start there.

~~~

We do not stop exercising because we grow old – we grow old because we stop exercising.

Dr. Kenneth Cooper

~~~

After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. “All right, ladies, think about this,” bellowed the drill instructor. “If you could have ten minutes alone, right now, with anyone in the world, who would it be?”

Amid much mumbling, one voice was heard from the back row. “My recruiter.”

~~~

A  road sign from my youth:

DROVE TOO LONG

DRIVER SNOOZING

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

IS NOT AMUSING

***Burma Shave***

~~~

What if your mother really IS right….. about everything?

~~~

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

His mother had an idea: “Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?”

He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone. “I was totally humiliated,” he moaned. “She insisted on washing the dishes.”

“What’s wrong with that?” asked his mother.

“We hadn’t started eating yet.”

~~~

You can’t please everyone. But it is possible to make ’em all mad at the same time.

~~~

She said I am a very nervous flyer.  During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn’t help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems.  Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering. I mentioned this to a flight attendant.  “I’ll take care of it,” she said. Moments later the lights went out.  Clearly she had solved the problem by turning off all the lights.

A passenger across the aisle who had been watching me leaned over and said, “Whatever you do, please don’t ask about the engines.”

~~~

“Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children.”

Doris Day

~~~

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3,000 responses about three days after the ad came out.

All from the same person.

~~~

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

~~~

When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen.  Diane’s 4-year-old son overheard some of his mother’s private conversations. One day when Diane and her 4-year-old were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he   was excited about the new baby.

“Yes!” the 4-year-old said, “and I know what we’re going to name it, too.”

“Really?” asked the lady.

“Yes.” said the little boy, “If it’s a girl we’re going to call her Christina, and if it’s another boy we’re going to call it quits!”

~~~

Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person’s physical, emotional, and mental states.

Carol Welch

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Hi neighbor

Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does.

William James

A good friend e-mailed me a copy of a bookmark his daughter had shown him that has a great message that he thought would be appropriate for the Daily. The bookmark included the following actions that each of us could take to make our community a good place to be. I agree with Jim that our lives would be better if we accept the gift his daughter provided showing us how we can enjoy our days while doing some good. Here is some of what was on her bookmark.

How to Build Community

Turn off your TV. Leave your house. Know your neighbors.

Look up when you are walking, greet people.

Sit on your stoop, plant flowers.

Use your library, play together.

Buy from local merchants, share what you have.

Take children to the park, garden together.

Support neighborhood schools.

Fix it even if you didn’t break it, have pot lucks, honor elders.

Pick up litter, Read stories aloud. Dance in the street. Talk to the mail carrier

Listen to the birds; Put up a swing.

Start a tradition. Ask a question. Hire young people for odd jobs.

Organize a block party. Bake extra and share.

Ask for help when you need it.

Open your shades. Sing together.

Share your skills. Turn up the music.

Listen before you react to anger. Mediate a conflict. Seek to understand.

Know that no one is silent although many are not heard. Work to change this.

As I read the list I realized that while I am active in the larger community I am missing opportunities to get to know and make friends with my nearby neighbors. When I think about it I realize how much I sometimes long for the days of old when we all seemed to live in close knit communities, days when we lived as much outside among neighbors as we did isolated in our homes. I do like the tools I have, computers, easily accessible in-home entertainments and the like but are they not sometimes anchors that keep us moored to our chairs more than is necessary. I know that is often what happens to me. I really cannot blame today’s environment for what sometimes is a sense of loneliness for in fact I do have the ability to plant a few seeds that would allow my neighborhood to again become the community I long for.

Thanks Jim and please thank your daughter for sharing.

~~~

The willingness to share does not make one charitable; it makes one free.

Robert Brault

~~~

The plane was only half-full. When an attractive young woman asked if the seat next to mine was free, my male ego soared. Soon we were chatting pleasantly, and she told me it was her first flight. “Mom said to sit next to someone I thought I could trust,” she confessed nervously. “And you look just like my dad.”

~~~

Believe it or not, my doctor actually does make house calls; charges $60 though — more if she has to dial the number herself.

~~~

Employee: I have been here 11 years doing three men’s work for one man’s pay.

Now I want a raise.

Boss: Well, I can’t give you a raise, but if you’ll tell me who the other two men are, I’ll fire them.

~~~

Many are called, but few actually return the message.

~~~

A policeman pulled a woman over while she was driving the wrong way on a one-way street.

Cop: Do you know where you are going?

Woman: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the people are leaving.

~~~

Middle age is a time when it takes longer to rest than it does to get tired.

~~~

An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night’s sleep. He takes her hand & she responds, “Don’t touch me.”

“Why not,” he asks. She answers back, “Because I’m dead.”

The husband says to her, “What are you talking about? We’re both lying here in bed together & talking to one another.”

The wife says, “No, I’m definitely dead.”

Her husband insists, “You’re not dead. What in the world makes you think you’re dead?”

His wife answers, “I know I’m dead because I woke up this morning & nothing hurts!”

~~~

She said, if ignorance is bliss, why isn’t my husband in a better mood?

~~~

Jill: I just don’t understand the attraction golf holds for men.

Mary: Tell me about it! I went golfing with my ex one time, and he told me I asked too many questions!

Jill: Well, I’m sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask?

Mary: I thought I asked legitimate questions like, “Why did you hit the ball into that lake?”

~~~

Living is easy. It’s cleaning up the mess that’s the problem.

~~~

A meek little fellow in a restaurant timidly touched the arm of a man putting on an overcoat. “Excuse me,” he said, “but do you happen to be Mr. Smith of Newport?”

“No, I’m not,” answered the man impatiently.

“Oh, well you see,” continued the first man, “I am, and that’s his overcoat you’re putting on.”

~~~

“I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.”

Thomas Jefferson

~~~

I was flying between Toronto and Ottawa.  It’s only a 9 minute flight and so, to save money, I flew with a small airline in a little, twin-engine plane. About two minutes into the flight the pilot announced that we were going to have to turn back due to some engine trouble.

The nervous passenger I was seated next to turned to me and said, “Oh-h-h m-m-my G-g-god.  If we l-l-loose an engine, how f-f-far d-d-do you think the other o-o-one will t-t-take us?”

I told him, “One engine?  Oh, I’m sure it’ll take us all the way to the scene of the crash.  Hell, we’ll probably make good time too.  I bet we beat the paramedics there by at least a half hour!”

~~~

This is the true joy in life – being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

If we all spread some the world will be a better place on Monday

“Joy is increased by spreading it to others”

Robert Murray McCheyne

It has been an interesting and sometimes challenging week. I learned yesterday that they will go in and cut my evil polyp very early in the day on May 3^rd. I probably would have been better off if they had not told me about my pre-op procedures since they not only include the usual 30 hour fast and my self inflicted numerous $100 shots of Lovenox, they now require me to also get up at three thirty in the morning to drink an additional half gallon of the awful tasking purge fluid. There is no doubt that the lack of food coupled with a frequent run to the nearest bathroom will result in further weight loss. I am banking on this one being a total success without any complications so I can fulfill my May obligations and cruise to Alaska at the end of the month.

I don’t have any excuse for failing to produce a fresh Daily this morning; I just want to take the day off. Enjoy your weekend and please dedicate a little bit of time for joy spreading.

I’ll see you on Monday; meanwhile here is what I published on April 6, 2004. I was shocked to read how my lead eight years ago was so appropriate for today’s times.

Ray’s Daily

If you are like many of us you are overwhelmed with the problems we face today. The threat of terrorism, so many good people who have little prospect for replacement employment, a staggering national debt, rampant health care inflation, and ever increasing education costs making college almost impossible for many. The list could go on and on. Yet we must not let conditions drive us into seclusion and frustration because of what appears to be our inability to do anything that makes any difference. It is important that we continue to do what we can and maintain enough optimism to know we can make a difference. Here is a story that tells it even better than I ever could.

A man was walking down a deserted Mexican beach at sunset. As he walked along he began to see another man in the distance. As he grew nearer he noticed that the local native kept leaning down, picking something up, and throwing it out into the water. Time and again he kept hurling things out into the ocean. As our friend approached even closer he noticed that the man was picking up starfish that had washed up onto the beach, and one at a time, he was throwing them back into the ocean. . .

The first man was puzzled. He approached the man and said, “Good Evening Friend, I was wondering what are you doing?” And he replied, “I’m throwing these starfish back into the ocean. You see, it’s low tide right now and all these starfish have been washed up onto the shore. If I don’t throw them back into the sea, they will die from the lack of oxygen.”

“I understand” my friend replied “but there must be thousands of starfish on this beach and you couldn’t possibly get to all of them. They’re are simply too many and don’t you realize that this is happening on hundreds of beaches up and down this coast . . . can’t you see that that you can’t possibly make a difference. . . . The local native smiled.. .bent down . . . picked up yet another starfish . . . and as he threw it back out into the sea, he replied, “It made a difference to that one!”

You may feel like you cannot make a difference in the world today, but you CAN make a difference in one life at a time.

Author Unknown

~~~

There is no greater joy nor greater reward than to make a fundamental difference in someone’s life.

Sister Mary Rose McGeady

~~~

Mary:  I’ll tell you one thing!  I’m never going out with my friend Shirley again!

Jill:  Why on earth not?  You two are best friends!

Mary:  Yeah, well, last night a good-looking man walked up to our table at the bar, said hello, and told us his name.  I told him that my name is Mary, and introduced my friend Shirley.  He said, “Wow!  On a one to ten scale, you two ladies make a twenty!”

I said, “Really?”

He said, “Yeah!  Your friend Shirley here is definitely a 15!”

~~~

Sign on the back of a septic-service company truck:  “Satisfaction guaranteed, or your merchandise cheerfully refunded.”

~~~

Wendy sent us her dusting tips.

“A house becomes a home when you can write “I love you” on the furniture.”

I can’t tell you how many countless hours that I have spent CLEANING! I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure things were just perfect – “in case someone came over”. Then I realized one day that no-one came over; they were all out living life and having fun! Now, when people visit, I find no need to explain the “condition” of my home.. They are more interested in hearing about the things I’ve been doing while I was away living life and having fun. If you haven’t figured this out yet, please heed this advice.

Life is short. Enjoy it!

Dust if you must, but wouldn’t it be better to paint a picture or write a letter, bake a cake or plant a seed, ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there’s not much time, with rivers to swim and mountains to climb, music to hear and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world’s out there with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain. This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind, old age will come and it’s not kind. And when you go – and go you must – you, yourself will make more dust!

It’s not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.

~~~

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life.  I think he was right.  I’ve only been jogging once and feel ten years older already.

~~~

A couple of opposing candidates for county office happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner. One turned to the other and said,  “You know why I’m going to win this election? Because of my personal touch.’ For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me.”

“Oh, really?” replied the other. “I always tip them a nickel and ask them to vote for you.”

~~~

“If you have not often felt the joy of doing a kind act, you have neglected much, and most of all yourself.”

A. Neilen

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

What a great place to be

“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.”

Audre Lorde

I had lunch with a friend the other day who is organizing a project that will engage a large cross section of our community in an area wide effort to build on our strengths over the balance of this decade resulting in an even greater Indianapolis than we have now. We talked about our cities unique strengths, it is not in our mountains for we have none, nor our beaches for we have none of those either, what we do have is a large population of truly good people. These are folks who give of their talent and time often joining together to do almost unbelievable good. If you had a chance to see or hear about the rave reviews we got from visitors who came to our city during Super Bowl week then you have some idea of what I am talking about. It truly is the people who have made Indianapolis a major success while so many other cities struggle with the economic and political troubles of these difficult times.

To give you an idea about what I am talking about I would like to share with you a letter I got this morning from an Indiana based Lithuanian friend who I admire and seldom see. Here is what she wrote:

Good Morning Ray,

I can’t tell you how much I enjoy reading Ray’s Daily — you have truly given me an uplift to my spirits on many occasions.  I thank you for that.

I’m sending you info my daughter, Marianna, has put together regarding Addicted to Music — she has been involved with this effort now, three years, being the main organizer the last two years.  Very proud of her!

Have a wonderful and successful day.

Gunta

What her daughter has put together is but another example of how good people voluntarily step up and do things to benefit us all. I reviewed the material she sent and it is extensive, too much to add here, if you are one of my Indianapolis friends I’ll send the details separately. One of things that makes Gunta special besides all her good works is how she has retained the culture of her home country. I so often hear people talk about how we should tolerate people who are different than we are as if there is something wrong with them. In fact one of the things that has really made Indianapolis great in recent decades has been the influx of folks from everywhere. Today we can sample dishes from all over the world by just driving a mile or two; our cultural organizations provide dance, music and art from all over the world and we are better for it. When you have the chance to share the best the world has to offer, adding those experiences to the great things you already have, life becomes even better.

So my friends please join me and swap appreciation for toleration, embrace our differences and we will soar. We don’t have to travel to see the world, it already exists around us, all we have to do is open our eyes and look.

~~~

“Our greatest strength as a human race is our ability to acknowledge our differences, our greatest weakness is our failure to embrace them.”

Judith Henderson

~~~

True Tombstone Inscriptions

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:

Born 1903-Died 1942

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

—

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.

The Good Die Young.

—

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays The Kid.

We planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger

But slow on the draw.

~~~

Everyone hates me because I’m paranoid.

~~~

Morris went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn’t want to pay up.  What should I do?”

“Do you have any proof?” asked the lawyer.

“Nope,” Morris replied.

“Okay, then write him a nasty letter asking him for the $1000 he owes you,” said the lawyer.

“But it’s only $500,” Morris insisted.

“Precisely. That’s what he will reply and we will then have the proof we need to nail him.”

~~~

An optimist is the human personification of spring.

Susan J. Bissonette

~~~

Two Cajun commercial fishermen, Boudreaux & Thibodeaux went out in the Gulf of Mexico fishing. They were gone a couple of months. On their return, they noticed a Taco Bell had been built while they were away.

Boudreaux turns to Thibodeaux and says, “Look at dat, we not gone no time and dem Mexicans done come over here & built a telephone company!”

~~~

A woman who dresses to kill probably cooks the same way.

~~~

The fourth-grade class was studying the development of the auto industry. The teacher had emphasized the role played by Henry Ford, whose assembly lines decreased production costs. At the end of the unit, she gave a test including the question: “What did Henry Ford invent that made buying a car more affordable?”

One of the brightest students in the class wrote: “0% financing.”

~~~

“I bequeath all my property to my wife on the condition that she remarry immediately. Then there will be at least one man to regret my death.”

Heinrich Heine

~~~

A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.

Mother mouse barked fiercely, “Woof, woof, woof!” The cat was so terrified that it ran for it’s life.

Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, “Now, do you understand the value of a second language?”

~~~

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

Anne Frank

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Don’t quit the best is yet to come

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.

Helen Keller

I was tested again yesterday. I went to see my friend the dentist to begin the restoration process needed to prepare the site of my broken tooth for a crown to be added later. The simple procedure ended up with many complications. First it turns out that the tooth broke off below the gum line on one side and so some gum removal was required. They could not use the normal tool which cuts and cauterizes at the same time because of my Pacemaker, so it was back to old fashioned dentistry using a knife to cut away the excess. The only problem was because of my blood thinner medication we could not stop the site from bleeding so we had to wait while I kept compresses on the cut area until it stopped. Since it needed to fully clot we had to cancel the rest of the procedure until I go back later this morning.

A friend later said they did not understand why all my recent medical and dental adventures did not seem to change my outlook. I did not want to say that I am too dumb to worry much so I just reported my belief that making the best of what is handed you without wasting time on the happening itself keeps me in a positive mood. I am often complimented by others on how I focus on the positives and discard the negatives. I think I get more credit than I deserve since my choice is to enjoy life as it is and not to waste time on what can’t be.

I was not going to write about this today but I just got the following article and it triggered my focusing again on positive attitude.

Positive Attitude and Thinking

By Remez Sasson

Positive thinking is a mental attitude that sees the bright side of life. Positive thinking is a mental attitude and state of mind, which focuses on the full half of the glass and not on the empty half. It is a mental attitude that expects positive results.

People with a positive frame of mind think about possibilities, growth, expansion and success. They expect happiness, health, love and good relationships. They think in terms of ‘I can’, ‘I am able’, and ‘I will succeed’.

Positive thinking people are not daunted by failures and obstacles. If things don’t turn out well or as expected, they will try again.

True positive thinking is not just saying that everything will be okay, as a lip service, and at the same time think about failure. In order to bring beneficial changes and improvement into your life, positive thinking has to become your predominant mental attitude throughout the day. It has to turn into a way of life.

Real and effective positive thinking requires that you focus on positive thoughts and positive emotions, and also take positive action.

What hit me the most was his comment about not being daunted by failures and obstacles for I agree that perseverance is a trait found in most positive people. I have often found that by not giving up when things looked their worst you soon discovered that things were better just around the corner and those who stop moving never get there and go on believing that life is dismal and that there is nothing they can do about it.

~~~

Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude towards it, for that determines our success or failure.

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

Two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl.  One was an optimistic soul.  But the other took the gloomy view.  “We’ll drown,” he lamented without much ado, and with a last despairing cry, he flung up his legs and said “Goodbye.”

Quote the other frog with a steadfast grin, “I can’t get out but I won’t give in, I’ll just swim around till my strength is spent, then I’ll die the more content.”  Bravely he swam to work his scheme, and his struggles began to churn the cream. The more he swam, his legs a flutter, the more the cream turned into butter. On top of the butter at last he stopped, and out of the bowl he gaily hopped.

What is the moral? It’s easily found… If you can’t hop out, keep swimming around!

~~~

“I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.”

Emo Philips

~~~

Salesman at the door:  Is your mother at home?

Little girl:  Yes.

Sales man:  May I talk to her?

Little girl:  She isn’t here.

Salesman:  But you just said, she was at home.

Little girl:  She is.  This isn’t our house.

~~~

“The Law of Motivation”

Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

~~~

Joseph Kennedy once entered the fashionable Gentlemen’s Shamrock Grille on Wall Street and joined a group of financiers. He beckoned to a waiter and ordered a double scotch.

“When Kennedy drinks,” he declared loudly, “everybody drinks!”

With a cheer, everyone at the table ordered scotch. Kennedy finished his drink, summoned the waiter, and slapped two dollars on the table. “When Kennedy pays,” he asserted, “everyone pays!”

~~~

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

~~~

A middle aged man wasn’t feeling well, so he went to the doctor for a check up.  After a thorough examination, the doctor said, “Well, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking.”

The man said, “Well, to be honest with you Doc, I don’t deserve the best. What’s the second best?”

~~~

If things go wrong, don’t go with them.

Roger Babson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

It will be a busy month!

Learn to appreciate what you have, before time makes you appreciate what you had.

The balmy weather and unbelievably early spring has lulled me into lazily failing to recognize that there are things to be done this month besides celebrating my fifty-nine years of marriage next week. One of the secrets of my marital longevity has been my need for someone to help me clean up my mistakes while not holding grudges. Fortunately it was not the modest allowance I am provided each month that has kept me here it is a matter of choice driven by our fortunate compatibility. When you get married in your teens you get to grow up together without knowing the alternatives. Of course successfully raising children who tolerate your faults and provide you many wonderful grandchildren makes life even better.

But I must not forget that my anniversary is not all that needs to be done, after all April is:

Dog Appreciation Month – When we lost or dog many years ago we went out and bought a ceramic replica that now sleeps in front of our fireplace, we especially appreciate the fact that we do not have to take him out in inclement weather.

Fresh Florida Tomato Month – I guess Florida can celebrate their tomatoes since most have not tasted Indiana homegrown.

Holy Humor Month (is this the same as ecclesiastical mirth month?) – Did I ever tell you about the Priest and the Rabbi…..

Keep America Beautiful Month – I don’t care what you say; I am going out in public anyway.

National Anxiety Month – I was afraid it would come up soon, now what do we do?

Actors Appreciation and Alcohol Awareness Month – Buy an actor a drink and you kill two birds with one stone.

Knuckles Down Month – At last something for those of us whose knuckles drag on the ground.

Listening Awareness Month – What???

National Ergonomics Month – Take a chair out for coffee

National Lawn and Garden Month – We have people who take care of our lawn and shrubs. It is a mercy thing; plants have a chance of survival as long as I don’t try to help.

~~~

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

Frederick Keonig

~~~

A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife, made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son Johnny, who was ransacking an adjoining room.

But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, “I hope, doctor, you don’t mind Johnny being in there.”

“No,” said the doctor calmly, “He’ll be quiet when he gets to the poisons.

~~~

She said: I know what Victoria’s Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

~~~

An old man goes to the doctor and say’s “Doctor I can’t pee.”

The doctor asks the man “How old are you?”

The old man say’s “I’m 84.”

The doctor replies “You’ve peed enough”

~~~

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I’ll be glad to do so for you.

~~~

Brian was startled to see the nonchalant way Chris was taking the fact that his lady love was seen with another man.

“You said you love her and yet you saw her with another man and you didn’t knock the guy down?”

“I’m waiting,” Chris said.

“Waiting for what?”

“Waiting to catch her with a smaller fellow.”

~~~

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were

~~~

Three old guys out walking.

First one says. “Windy isn’t it?”

Second one says, “No its Thursday”!!

Third one says. “So am I. Lets go get a beer”.

~~~

A true friend is one that lets his grass grow as tall as his neighbor’s.

~~~

An old rabbi is talking with one of his friends and says with a warm smile, “I gladdened seven hearts today.”

“Seven hearts?” asks the friend.  “How did you do that?”

The rabbi strokes his beard and replies, “I performed three marriages.”

The friend looks at him quizzically.  “Seven?” he asks.  “I could understand six, but…”

“What do you think” says the rabbi, “that I do this for free?”

~~~

Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us.

~~~

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up.  Everybody but one girl laughed uproariously.

“What’s the matter?” grumbled the boss.  “Haven’t you got a sense of humor?”

“I don’t have to laugh,” she said.  “I’m leaving Friday.”

~~~

Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

William Ralph Inge

~~~

John came home from the office and found Jill sobbing convulsively. “I feel terrible,” she told him. “I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”

“Forget it,” consoled John. “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

“Yes, and it’s lucky you have,” said Jill, drying her eyes. “I used them to patch the hole.”

~~~

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well”

Voltaire

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.