“It doesn’t matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go.”
I have learned over the years that people don’t have to wait until midlife to have a crisis, it can happen anytime. For some it is like the old song that Peggy Lee made famous “Is this all there is.” In my view the process of doing some self-assessment while questioning the value of the path we are on is filled with opportunity to make some positive changes of direction.
Those who question their current status and who take steps to make changes when they make sense seldom get bogged down in the ruts that trap so many of the rest of us. For some the failure to move away from an unsatisfactory status quo is fear and a lack of self-confidence and in others I suspect it is just shear laziness.
I have been fortunate to have had a wide variety of life experiences sometimes by being nudged onto a better path by others and other times by not accepting that this is really “All there is.” Call it crisis if you will I call it opportunity. Here is something that the author of the PositvelyPresent blog wrote as to how she has learned to handle crisis.
10 Tips to Help You Conquer that Crisis
1. Don’t give up hope. When everything in your life seems like a mess and you have no idea why you are where you are, it can be so easy throw in the towel and let yourself slide into the quicksand of negativity. Don’t do that. You deserve more than that. You deserve a second chance at your own life. Even if it’s a teeny, tiny thread, cling to whatever hope you can find. It will save you.
2. Find a new activity. Doing the same things over and over and over again can be emotionally draining (and damaging). If things aren’t what you thought they would be, if you want your life to be different, you have to make it different. Subtract an activity that’s bringing you down and add in an activity that will bring you up. Not sure what will bring you up? Try lots of different things ’til you find a perfect fit.
3. Surround yourself with positive people. Crises can be brought on by the people around us, dragging us down. Evaluate the people you spend the most time with. How do they make you feel? What do you spend time doing together? If these feelings and activities aren’t positive, find some new friends. A crisis is hard enough without a lack of support from positive people.
4. Seek professional help. Finding the right therapist can save your life. When you’re really down and out, the unbiased, objective advice from a trained professional can be just what you need to get yourself back on track. Don’t try to talk yourself out of it or let negative judgments about therapy get in your way.
5. Believe in your abilities. Scrub “I can’t…” from your vocabulary. The more times you tell yourself that you can’t overcome this crisis, the more times you’ll be setting yourself back. It might seem impossible at times, but you will get through this and end up on the other side a stronger person. Don’t ever stop believing in your ability to conquer this crisis. You can — and will! — do it.
6. Change what’s not working. You can’t live the life you’ve always wanted to be living if you keep doing the things that you’ve always been doing. You have to change. Hard? Yes. Possible? Definitely. Figure out what’s not working in your life — the bad job, the toxic relationship, the negative thinking — and change it. And don’t stop at one thing. Change all the things that aren’t working, one at a time.
7. Figure out what you really want. Clearly a crisis isn’t what you want. No one wants that feeling of isolation and frustration. But what do you want? We often whine about not being happy with our lives without giving much thought to what would make our lives happier. Make a list, keep a journal, tell a friend — do whatever you need to do in order to figure out what you really, truly want in your life.
8. Take it one day at a time. Every day will have its ups and downs, but every day you start focusing more on the positive, making changes in your life, and surrounding yourself with the right people is a step in the right direction. Don’t dwell too much on the future. Take each day as it comes and, little by little, you’ll find yourself putting that crisis further and further behind you.
9. Treat your body right. It’s oh-so tempting to eat what we want, drink what we want, do what we want. After all, when you’re in emotional pain, don’t you need some sort of physical treat? No. No, you don’t. What you need is a body that’s in peak physical condition so it can help you battle those unpleasant emotional monsters. Eat your veggies, don’t drink too much, get rest, exercise. No excuses.
10. Join a club or group. There may be people out there struggling just like you are. Find them and work together to conquer your crises. Can’t find a group of people going through what you’re going through? Start one. It doesn’t have to be crisis-specific (what about a happiness project?), but it does have to be something that will inspire, uplift, and support you.
“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”
A young Army private seeks permission from his commanding officer to leave camp the following weekend. “You see,” he explains, “my wife’s expecting.”
“I understand,” the officer tells him. “You go, and tell your wife that I wish her luck.”
The following week the same soldier is back again with the same explanation: “My wife’s expecting.”
The officer looks surprised. “Still expecting?” he asks. “Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the weekend off.”
When the same soldier appears again the third week, however, the officer loses his temper.
“Don’t tell me your wife is still expecting,” he says.
“Yes, sir,” says the soldier resolutely. “She’s still expecting.”
“What in heaven is she expecting?” cries the officer.
Says the soldier simply, “Me.”
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.”
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy’s nervousness builds, he remembers his father’s advice, and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl: “Do you like potato pancakes?”
She says “No,” and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list.
He asks, “Do you have a brother?”
Again, the girl says “No” and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks: “If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?”
Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
Like a lot of husbands throughout history, Webster would sit down and try to talk to his wife. But as soon as he would start to say something, his wife would say,”. . .And what’s that supposed to mean?” Thus, Webster’s Dictionary was born.
“In a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.”
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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