Ray's Daily

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

Mae West

My coach/trainer/guru and I chatted for a while after my morning exercise yesterday, she kind of helps me get my mind started as well as my body since I show up at 5 AM and need all the help I can get. This morning we talked a little about folks who decide that they cannot do more than they do now. They are the proverbial glass half-emptiers who after spending much of their lives taking the easiest path soon end up with no path left to follow. They spend so much time going with the flow that they flounder when the tide turns.

I discovered that it is not easy on my friend to have folks with the potential to reinvigorate their lives to watch people give up before they start. I guess I had not thought about it much but she really is in the people reclamation business. In my case I think of her as a blessing and I am thankful that I am given the opportunity to take advantage of the gift of better health she offers. So rather than looking at my trips to the exercise pit as penance or drudgery I look at as the opportunity I am given to stay as well as I can.

You know, we are never too old to get it right. Here is something that one of our readers sent me some time ago that I liked, it outlines exercise for more than just the body. For you youngsters Ann Landers was our countries most widely read advice columnists during the last half of the twentieth century

Lesson Learned from a lifetime of reading Ann Landers

-You are responsible for your own happiness. No one can make you feel inferior unless you allow them to do so.

-People won’t stay mad at you long if you can say, “I was wrong, and I am truly sorry. I hope you will forgive me.”

-When something is troubling you, tell someone you trust instead of trying to cover it up. You will be surprised to learn that the other person has been through something similar.

-Don’t pass up an opportunity to tell people you care about them. You may never get another chance.

-Reserve judgement until you know all the facts. Even then, keep your mouth shut if no useful purpose is served by adding your two cents’ worth.

-Be grateful for your good health & the health of those you love. Be aware that without good health, money & success mean little.

-If you enjoy your work & your life, you are rich. If you aren’t happy with either, how can money help?

-If you are having a rotten day, don’t take it out on those around you. Simply say to yourself, “Today is a rotten day. Tomorrow will be better.” That attitude will improve your disposition as well as your digestive system.

-Spend time with your children. It’s the best investment you will ever make.

-Don’t be afraid to try something you think you can’t do. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

-There’s no such thing as the perfect man or woman. Look for the best overall package of kindness, consideration, ambition & intelligence. Otherwise, you will spend your life alone.

-You can respect & learn from people, even if you don’t like them. Be aware that you can learn something from everyone, because every person in the world knows something you don’t know.

~~~

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”

Lewis Carroll

~~~

An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him.

The Devil said to the lawyer, “I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners.”

The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked,

“So, what’s the catch?”

~~~

A pessimist is never disappointed.

~~~

THE HISTORY OF MEDICINE

2000 BC:  Here, eat this root

1000 AD:  That root is heathen.  Say this prayer.

1850 AD:  That prayer is pure superstition. Here, drink this potion.

1940 AD:  That potion is snake oil.  Here, swallow this pill.

1985 AD:  That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic

2010 AD:  That antibiotic doesn’t work any more.  Here, eat this root.

~~~~

A man’s best friend is his dogma.

~~~

She said, as the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag. When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me.  One man handed me my pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my purse.  “We’re required to inventory lost wallets and purses,” he explained.

“I think you’ll find everything there.”  As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, “I hope you don’t mind if we watch.  Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse.  And we’d like to see just how you do it.”

~~~

Don’t worry about temptation — as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.

~~~

A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.

“Leave us alone you religious nuts!” yelled the first driver as he sped by.

From around the curve they heard a big splash.

“Do you think,” said one clergy to the other, “we should just put up a sign that says ‘bridge out’ instead?”

~~~

Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

~~~

Little Johnny was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents. When she rang the bell, Little Johnny opened the door. The teacher said, “Hello, Johnny. I would like to talk to your mother or your father.”

Little Johnny said, “Sorry, but they ain’t here.”

The teacher said, “Johnny, what is it with your grammar?”

“Beats me,” said Little Johnny, “but dad sure was mad that they had t’go bail her out again.”

~~~

“People who never take step 1, never take step 2.”

Zig Zigler

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

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