Ray's musings and humor

Great News!

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect.

It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

 

I got good news yesterday afternoon from my gastro-intestinal Doc. The biopsy on the troublesome polyp is benign so thankfully there is no oncologist in my future. It still has to be removed. Since the last time they did one of this size resulted in severe complications they are referring me to one of the top GI Docs at the University of Indiana Medical Center to see if he is willing to remove it. If that fails I will have to have part of my colon removed surgically, while neither of the two options are thrilling they are a lot better than a siege of chemo and/or radiation treatments. So I am pleased that I have again avoided the worst case scenario and that my inability to worry saved me from unfounded agony. Life is good.

A friend seemed surprised the other day when I shared what was going on since I did not appear to be more anxious. I said I had learned a long time ago that I do not have the power to change what is. What has helped me has been my willingness to accept whatever comes my way and after learning what positives may also exist I move on making the best of whatever is going on. To tell the truth I believe that a positive attitude provides the foundation that results in an enhanced healing process.

So my friends my cruise no longer seems in jeopardy. What needs to be done is something that I have dealt with before and I am not important enough to any of my current activities that a short absence will be a problem.

I like what Ralph Marston wrote about accepting what life hands you I hope you will as well. Here is what he wrote:

Total acceptance

It is through total acceptance of what is, that you gain total control of what can be. By allowing life to come to you, you empower your purpose to radiate out from you. You cannot successfully fight against what is. For the moment you choose to fight, you’re fighting against a past that cannot be changed.

Accept the energy that comes to you in this now moment, whatever flavor that energy may be. Apply that energy to create a beautiful future filled with joy and positive purpose. Embrace each circumstance as it comes into your awareness. By doing so you will gain access to its positive possibilities.

Live from a place of deep-seated peace. Instead of jumping into a reaction at every turn of events, exude a consistent, confident purpose. Lovingly accept every bit of life as it comes your way. And you will always find much too truly love.

~~~

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.”

Fulton Oursler

~~~

If you’re not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he’s the famous scientist who once said: “I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen…and replaced by exact duplicates.” His mind sees things differently than we do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some of his gems:

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Half the people you know are below average.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?

What happens if you get scared half to death ….. twice?

My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

~~~

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.

Frank A. Clark

~~~

Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. “Doctor,” he said, “I need you to cut off my dog’s tail.”

The vet stepped back, “Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?”

“Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.”

~~~

We lived in Minnesota in the late 60’s, we were a lot hardier then. We had to be, and here is why:

a.. If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through l8 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Minnesota.

b.. If you’re proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Minnesota.

c.. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Minnesota.

d.. If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there, you might live in Minnesota.

e.. If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Lutefisk, you might live in Minnesota.

f.. If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Minnesota.

g.. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Minnesota.

h.. If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina and Shakopee, you might live in Minnesota.

i.. If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, “From the land of sky-blue waters, …. you might live in Minnesota……

~~~

Only in America……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

~~~

At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him. “Well,” Bubba began, “We wuz havin’ a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, “Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?”

“And then what happened?” the officer interrupted.

“From what I remember,” Bubba said, “I stood up and said, “Sure, I’m game.”

~~~

Complaints? Write them here legibly []

~~~

A guy had been isolated on an island in the South Pacific for 10 years. He lit a signal every night for 10 years but no one saw it and no one came to rescue him. Finally a passing boat did notice the signal and sent an officer and men in a small boat to investigate. The castaway explained that he had been on this island for 10 years waiting to be rescued.

The boat captain ask “If you are all alone, what are those three huts I see built in the lagoon?

He answered “The first hut is my home. The second hut is where I go to church. And the third hut is where I went to church before I got mad and changed churches …”

~~~

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn’t like me anyway.

~~~

When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks. “Will you open this up so I can see how the socks feel?” she asked.

Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise. She handed me the package, saying, “I’ll take them.”

Relieved, I started to to ring her up, until she interrupted me. “Can I have another pack? This one’s been opened.”

~~~

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Melody Beattie

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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