Ray's musings and humor

The temple bell stops but I still hear the sound coming out of the flowers.

Basho

 

I am not sure about global warming but I am positive about Indianapolis warming. Here we are in the middle of traditionally blustery March and our temperatures are in the high 70’s and low 80’s, in fact we broke the all-time record the other day. Bushes in my neighborhood are covered with bright yellow bubs, spring flowers are in bloom and the strollers are in summer garb. My hope is that the last vestiges of winter are not hiding around the corner waiting to come in and do evil by destroying the glory currently around us.

Rather than worry about tomorrow I plan to spend today and this weekend basking in the glow that comes not just from the sun and flowers but that shines most brightly in the smiles of the people I see wandering about the neighborhoods. I am thinking about finding a container for the goodwill that is always exhibited as spring warms our hearts for I would love to be able to capture some of it to release whenever I run into the conflicts that seem to be poising our land these days.

Just think what tomorrow will be like when we combine balmy weather with St. Patrick’s Day celebrations, it ought to be a hoot.

I like what William Wadsworth wrote in 1798, I especially agree with the last stanza. Here is what he said:

 

Lines Written in Early Spring

 

I heard a thousand blended notes,

While in a grove I sate reclined,

In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts

Bring sad thoughts to the mind.

 

To her fair works did Nature link

The human soul that through me ran;

And much it grieved my heart to think

What man has made of man.

 

Through primrose tufts, in that green bower,

The periwinkle trailed its wreaths;

And ’tis my faith that every flower

Enjoys the air it breathes.

 

The birds around me hopped and played,

Their thoughts I cannot measure:–

But the least motion which they made

It seemed a thrill of pleasure.

 

The budding twigs spread out their fan,

To catch the breezy air;

And I must think, do all I can,

That there was pleasure there.

 

If this belief from heaven be sent,

If such be Nature’s holy plan,

Have I not reason to lament

What man has made of man?

~~~

Come, gentle Spring! Ethereal mildness, come.

James Thomson

~~~

She said:

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.

She said, “Mommy, you are getting fat!” I replied, “Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.” “I know,” she replied, “but what is growing in your butt?”

~~~

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

James Francis Owens

~~~

“I bought my brother some gift-wrap for his birthday. I took it to the Gift Wrap Department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.”

~~~

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

~~~

The Perfect Pastor

The perfect pastor preaches exactly 10 minutes.

He condemns sin roundly but never hurts anyone’s feelings.

He works from 8 AM until midnight and is also the church janitor.

The perfect pastor makes $40 a week, wears good clothes, drives a good car, buys good books, and donates $30 a week to the church.

He is 29 years old and has 40 years experience. Above all, he is handsome.

The perfect pastor has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and he spends most of his time with the senior citizens.

He smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his church.

He makes 15 home visits a day and is always in his office to be handy when needed.

The perfect pastor always has time for church council and all of its committees. He never misses the meeting of any church organization and is always busy evangelizing the unchurched.

The perfect pastor is always in the next church over!

If your pastor does not measure up, simply send this notice to six other churches that are tired of their pastor, too.

Then bundle up your pastor and send him to the church at the top of the list.

If everyone cooperates, in one week you will receive 1,643 pastors.

One of them should be perfect.

Have faith in this letter. One church broke the chain and got its old pastor back in less than three months.

~~~

“Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income — which he then spends sending his son to college.”

Bill Vaughan

~~~

A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight, and dropped in a coin.

“Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. “It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great husband.”

“Yeah,” his wife nodded, “and it has your weight wrong, too.”

~~~

Ring, bluebells, ring!

Winning eye and heart completely,

Sing, robin, sing!

All among the reeds and rushes,

Where the brook its music hushes,

Bright the caloposon blushes,

Laugh, O murmuring Spring!

Sarah Foster Davis

Summer Song.

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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