I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring.
I can’t talk right now, I am off to exercise and then on to meetings. Since my day includes some mystery I don’t want to take a chance on missing the Daily so I have instructed my crack staff to select one from the archives for your enjoyment. Wait, I don’t have any staff, OK I’ll do it.
Ray’s Daily first published on March 14, 2003
I got this from a friend who I have known ever since he was a young child. It is great to see that as life goes on we recognize the gifts our children give us as they grow to adulthood. Thanks Craig.
I have seen repeatedly the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the REWARDS listed this way. It’s nice, really nice! The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140!
That doesn’t even touch college tuition. For those with kids, that figure leads to wild fantasies about all the money we could have banked if not for (insert your child’s name here). For others, that number might confirm the decision to remain childless.
But $160,140 isn’t so bad if you break it down. It translates into $8,896.66 a year, $741.38 a month, or $171.08 a week. That’s a mere $24.44 a day! Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice says don’t have children if you want to be “rich”. It is just the opposite.
What do you get for your $160,140?
- Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
- Glimpses of God every day.
- Giggles under the covers every night.
- More love than your heart can hold.
- Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
- Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds and warm cookies.
- A hand to hold, usually covered with jam.
- A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sandcastles, and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain.
- Someone to laugh yourself silly with no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.
- For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs, and never stop believing in Santa Claus.
- You have an excuse to keep: reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies, and wishing on stars.
- You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother’s Day, and cards with backward letters for Father’s Day.
- For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck.
- You get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a splinter, filling the wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.
- You get a front row seat to history; to witness the first step, first word, first bra, first date, and first time behind the wheel.
- You get to be immortal.
- You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you’re lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called Grandchildren.
- You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.
- In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there with God.
- You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.
ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN (and grandchildren)
There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again.
Some guys in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of them walked into the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”
“You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?” asked the clerk. The fellow replied, “Um, I’ll have to check with the rest of the boys.” He went out to his truck and within a few minutes returned to the clerk stating, “Yep, I meant two-by-fours.”
“Alright,” replied the clerk. “How long do you need them?”
He stood there scratching his head while pondering this question and replied, “Well, um, a long time. We’re gonna build a house.”
Minds are like parachutes–they work best when open.
Thomas R. Dewar
Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up.
The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.
They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he’d put an end to things by saying boldly, “After our second child, I’ll just have a vasectomy.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, the bride retorted, “Well, I hope you’ll love the third one as if it’s your own.”
Sally told her friend, “I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid.”
A faith healer asked Moshe how his family was getting along. “They ‘re all fine,” Moshe said, “except my uncle. He’s very sick.”
“Your uncle is not sick,” the faith healer said. “He THINKS he’s sick.”
Two weeks later, the faith healer ran into Moshe on the street. “How is your uncle getting along?” he asked.
Moshe shrugged, “He THINKS he’s dead.”
A very wise mute once said:
In Japan, the fat intake in the average Japanese diet is very low and the heart disease ratio is lower than in North America and the UK.
However, in France, the average fat intake is very high, and yet, the heart disease ratio is lower than in North America and the UK.
In India almost no one drinks red wine and the heart disease ratio is lower than in North America and the UK.
In Spain, everybody drinks too much red wine and the heart disease ratio is lower than in North America and the UK.
In Algeria, the average sexual activity ratio is very low and the heart disease ratio is lower than in North America and the UK.
In Brazil, everybody has sex like crazy and the heart disease ratio is lower than in North America and the UK.
Conclusion: Drink, eat and all the sex you want. It’s speaking English that kills you.
Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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