Ray's musings and humor

Another Year

Our goal was to win, to win a Super Bowl, but also to win in the right way, to be role models to our community, to represent Indianapolis, the state of Indiana and the National Football League.

Tony Dungy

 

It is unbelievable, today is my birthday and Indianapolis has gone crazy. There are people everywhere. Parties are scheduled all over town. They have even blocked off streets and are holding free concerts. Thousands are greeting strangers and guests as they arrive for the big celebration. They have even strung a zip line through a number of downtown blocks so folks can take an exciting ride across our city. Budweiser even took over a hotel and renamed it the Bud Light Hotel. All I can say is the people here for the Super Bowl on Sunday are fortunate that it is being held the week of my birthday or maybe it is the other way around.

It is really a wow time here and the national and international news media is giving our city rave reviews for its hospitality, friendliness, spectacular events, and so much more. I cannot do justice to what is turning out to be one of the best planned and executed events ever. If you have a minute visit http://www.indianapolissuperbowl.com/ or http://visitindy.com/2012-Super-Bowl-Indianapolis-Guide and get a taste of what is going on.

I cannot describe how proud I am of the people I know who have worked so hard for a number of years now to make this week as memorable as possible for our guests from around the world. Thousands of school children have colored greeting cards that have been put the hotel rooms welcoming those who well be here for the event. More than 8,000 volunteers are doing all they can at venues throughout the city to make the experience as pleasant and trouble free as possible. Streets have been closed and turned into celebration areas, restaurants have expanded, major spaces have been transformed into party venues, and a huge Super Bowl Experience has been built inside our massive convention center and it is all in walking distance for each, as is the stadium where the Super Bowl will be held. We even have roaming ambassadors trained and equipped with cell phones to answer questions, help with restaurant and party reservations and anything else they can do to help.

How fortunate I am to be able to celebrate my birthday in such a great place.

~~~

“A Super Bowl guarantee: Indianapolis will be a great host”

ESPN’s Adam Schefter foremost NFL reporter

~~~

WE MUST STOP THIS SINISTER PLOT!

Have you ever noticed that as the years go by, everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper, groceries are heavier, and everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was horrified to discover how long our street had become! I never noticed when I was younger that it’s been changing!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also have a feeling that these people are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, something has been making people who used to be my own age so much older than I am.

I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection…. and I noticed that even mirrors were not made the way they used to be!

Clothing manufacturers are part of the conspiracy too! Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?

Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You’re risking life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

The people who make bathroom scales are in on it as well. Do they think I actually believe the number I see on that dial? Hah! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they’re fooling?

I’d like to call up someone in authority to report what’s going on — but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they’ve printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon *everyone* will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

~~~

“The best way to get people to think out of the box is not to create the box in the first place.”

Martin Cooper

~~~

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Johnny, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?”

Johnny burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!”

~~~

A woman always remembers where and when she got married; a man sometimes forgets why.

~~~

When Ma & Pa first arrived on the homestead Pa installed a bell on the front porch and told Ma if trouble comes while I’m out in the field a plowin’ then you just ring that bell and I’ll come a running.

The next day Pa hears the bell and takes off for home. When he arrives Ma says “Them boys are givin me a hard time about doin the chores and little Sammy done stuck the butter knife in the molasses without lickin the blade clean first.”

Pa says “you mean I just run all the way in from the fields for this. next time it had better be important.”

The next day Pa hears the bell and takes off for home again. When he arrives his wife is in tears standing over a broke clothes line. “Pa”; she says “some jackass came ridin through here on a mule and ran right through the clothes line and rurnt the washin.”

At first Pa was trying to figure out what was ridin what but then he yells “I told you not to ring that bell unless something bad was goin on. If this happens again I’m goin to whap you with a board.”

The next day Pa hears the bell again and grabbin up a board heads for home. When he arrives Ma is clinging to the porch rail with a spear in her back, the house behind her is in flames and the chickens are laying dead in the front yard, shot full of arrows.

Pa looks at Ma and says “Now that’s more like it.”

~~~

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.”

The woman says….. “I’ll miss you.”

~~~

A healthy social life is found only when, in the mirror of each soul, the whole community finds its reflection, and when in the whole community, the virtue of each one is living.

Rudolf Steiner

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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