Ray's musings and humor

“If a doctor treats your cold, it will go away in fourteen days. If you leave it alone, it will go away in two weeks.”

Gloria Silverstein

 

It has been an interesting 24 hours. When I started my day yesterday I felt like I was well on my way to recovering from what I thought was a pretty severe cold. Was I wrong! I was at an important midmorning meeting and proceeded to go downhill fast. By the time I got home I was coughing, sneezing, wheezing, aching, leaking and god only knows what else. I hardly made it to bed where my symptoms continued until I thought I had cracked some ribs with all the coughing. Sleep was illusive, anytime I dosed I was aroused by the need to breathe. I soon learned what a severe cold felt like.

I have been in bed off and on ever since. Fortunately my Cardiac Rehab Therapists declared me a public health hazard and barred me from attending today’s session. They also suggested that since our city had so many people involved in pre-Super Bowl activities that it was my civic duty to hibernate and not infect the citizens of our fair city. I did make one scientific discovery though; it was not until yesterday that I realized that all my clocks slowdown in direct proportion to the depth of my physical agony.

The good news is that it seems like my recovery is in process when I crawled to my computer to do the Daily. Unfortunately I have been barred from attending one of my favorite Granddaughters 17th birthday tonight. and I regret that but I should be ready for critical short breakfast meeting in the morning. Oh yes, I also realize that this episode will make anything that happens in the near future seem so much better than it might really be.

In my search for relief I researched my options, while I know what I found it is worth remembering, here is the results of my search.

 

The Cold Hard Facts:

•   The symptoms for a common cold are runny or stuffy nose, sneezing, coughing, sore throats and watery eyes. The symptoms for a common flu include a fever, headache, muscles aches, and congestion.

•   The common cold causes more time off from work and school than any other illness.

•   Unfortunately, 79% of men and 84% of women don’t feel they can take time off for colds and flu.

•   Washing your hands is the best way to prevent a cold or flu.

•   Germs can survive for up to 3 hours outside of the nasal passage.

•   The first few days of having a cold are the most contagious.

•   The flu is the most infectious disease in the world.

•   Antibiotics cannot treat a cold or flu virus.

•   There is no cure the common cold. Why? Because there are more than 200 different viruses that can result in a cold.

•   Colds are more common during seasonal changes when humidity is low.

•   It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes closed.

•   A sneeze can travel over 100 miles per hour.

In light of the above it might be wise if you stay more than 100 miles and an hour away from me for the balance of the day.

~~~

When an illness knocks you on your ass, you should stay down and relax for a while before trying to get back up.

Candea Core-Starke

~~~

Being somewhat senile I can’t remember if I sent this to you before.

THE SENILITY PRAYER

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I’m ‘older’ (but I refuse to grow up), here’s what I’ve discovered:

ONE- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

TWO- My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

THREE- I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

FOUR- Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded…

FIVE- All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

SIX- If all is not lost, where is it?

SEVEN- It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

EIGHT- Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.

NINE- I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few…

TEN- Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

ELEVEN- Accidents in the back seat cause…kids.

TWELVE- It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

THIRTEEN- Only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.

FOURTEEN- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

FIFTEEN- When I’m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

SIXTEEN- It’s not hard to meet expenses… they’re everywhere.

SEVENTEEN- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

EIGHTEEN- These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter…I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I’m here after.

NINETEEN- UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE MAILED THIS TO YOU OR NOT AND DOUBT IF YOU CAN EITHER. I forgot I already told you that.

~~~

“If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average.”

W.E. Hickson

~~~

Teacher Debbie Moon’s first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different color hair than the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted and a little girl said, “I know all about adoptions because I was adopted.” “What does it mean to be adopted?” asked another child. “It means,” said the girl, “that you grew in your mommy’s heart instead of her tummy.”

~~~

Lord, help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.

~~~

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.”

~~~

“It is not good for all our wishes to be filled; through sickness we recognize the value of health; through evil, the value of good; through hunger, the value of food; through exertion, the value of rest.”

Dorothy Canfield Fisher

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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