Ray's musings and humor

Thank you Annie!

If we have the opportunity to be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love’s reach.

Margaret Cho

 

Years ago author O’Henry wrote a short story about a young wife who sold her long and beautiful hair to a wig maker so she could buy a watch fob for her husband who as I recall had sold his watch in order to buy his wife a silver comb for her beautiful hair. It was a moving story that showed that the Christmas spirit lives in the hearts of even those who are poor and in this case it was the love associated with the gift that was the true gift and not the tokens presented.

What reminded me of this story was what one of my favorite people told me this morning. My friend is a single mother with a young daughter who decided they were going to help a less fortunate mother and daughter have a brighter Christmas this year. I linked her up with a community center where I am a board member to help her locate someone she could meet who could use a Christnas friend. They their new friends yesterday, a mother with an older daughter. My friend reported that the mom was so moved by the gesture and the gifts that she was given that she cried. You see my friend had gone to the trouble of getting a wish list of things her new friends needed or wanted so that she would be sure the gifts were something they would use.

I was interested in what my friend gave them from their list that so moved the mother to grateful tears. And do you know what it was? It was household paper products and supplies, my friend also added a Wal-Mart gift card in order for them to get whatever other necessities they may need. My friend and her daughter, like the couple in the O’Henry story expressed their love for others through these simple gifts. For me the even greater message is that those of us who have so much often we ask for luxuries at Christmas while others are grateful just to have the barest necessities of life.

A few years ago my friend Annie made a life changing commitment to enrich her and her daughter’s lives through both understanding and caring for others. I am a benefit of that decision, she has given me the gift of her friendship.

~~~

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.”

Mother Teresa

~~~

She told me why SANTA CLAUS must be a WOMAN!

Most men wouldn’t be caught dead wearing red velvet.

Men don’t even think about selecting gifts until after lunch on Christmas Eve.

Men aren’t interested in stockings unless somebody’s wearing them.

If Santa were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and Chia Pets, still in the bag from the mall.

Men would feel their masculinity is threatened by having to be seen with all those elves.

Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a “bowl full of jelly.”

Having to do the “Ho Ho Ho” thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up chicks.

And last but not least, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment!

~~~

“I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up… they have no holidays.”

Henny Youngman

~~~

A man who is an avid golfer finally gets a once-in-a-lifetime chance for an audience with the Pope. After standing in line for hours, he gets to the Pope and says, “Holiness, I have a question that only you can answer. You see, I love golf, and I feel a real need to know if there is a golf course in heaven. Can you tell me if there is?”

The Pope considers for a moment, and says, “I do not know the answer to your question, my son, but I will talk to God and get back to you.”

The next day the man is called for another audience with the Pope to receive the answer to his question. He stands before the Pope, who says, “My son, I have some good news and some bad news in relation to your question. The good news is that heaven has the most fabulous golf course that you could imagine and is in eternally perfect shape.”

“And what’s the bad news?” asks the man.

“You tee-off tomorrow morning,” the Pope replies.

~~~

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.

David H Comins

~~~

A lawyer was cross-examining a witness:

“You have just testified that you heard the shot at exactly 11:32 p.m.? How did you know what time it was? Did you look at your watch?”

“No,” the witness said. “I looked at the sundial in the garden.”

“That’s absurd,” screamed the lawyer. “How could you tell time by a sundial at 11:32 at night?”

“I had a flashlight,” the witness said.

~~~

How do I know anything really exists? Kick it *really* hard.

~~~

A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day.

While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around.

Teen says, “Grandpa, they didn’t have a whole lot of problems with all  these diseases when you were young did they?”

Grandpa replies, “Nope.”

The teen says, “Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?”

Grandpa replies, “A wedding ring.”

~~~

Soccer is the only game you can say “We killed them 2-0.”

~~~

A young woman meets her old, retired, parish priest and when he asks her how she is, she bursts out crying.

“What’s the matter child?” he asks.

“Oh, Father,” she says, “it’s my boyfriend. He won’t marry me because I’m Roman Catholic.”

“There, there child. Here’s what you do. Explain to him the faith of the Church, the traditions, the ceremonies and the rites. That’ll bring him around.”

Tearfully, the young woman says she’ll try it. About a year later they meet again, and again she bursts into tears when he asks how she is doing.

“Is it your boyfriend, child?” he asks. “Yes, Father.”

“Did you explain about the Church as I suggested?”

“Yes, Father,” she says, “but that was the problem. He was so taken by it that he’s now studying to be a priest.”

~~~

“A smile is the universal welcome.”

Max Eastman

~~~

“George is so forgetful,” the sales manager complained to his secretary. “It’s a wonder he can sell anything. I asked him to pick me up some sandwiches on his way back from lunch and I’m not sure he’ll even remember to come back.”

Just then, the door flew open and in bounced George.

“You’ll never guess what happened!” he shouted. “While I was at lunch, I met old man Brown, who hasn’t bought anything from us for five years. Well, we got to talking and he gave me this half-million dollar order!”

“See,” sighed the sales manager to his secretary. “I told you he’d forget the sandwiches.”

~~~

A generous man forgets what he gives and remembers what he receives.

Old Proverb

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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